Attraction 101

What is the first thing you think about when you hear the word “Attraction.”?  I for one almost immediately think of the definition, like all good writers should do.  What does attraction mean though?  Daniel Webster defines it as, and I quote, “act of attracting, power to attract.” That doesn’t really help though does it?  So attract means, “1. Draw toward by inherent physical force; cause to cohere with. 2. Invite; allure.”

Just about everyone should at this point know what magnetic attraction is.  That is essentially what item one is talking about.  I prefer, for the sake of this article, to discuss item two; to invite or allure male to female and vice versa.  There are countless tales on the internet about the “Law of Attraction.”  That has absolutely nothing to do with what I am prepared to discuss with you in great detail.  The whole—think it, believe it, achieve it, and receive it may work for some people but for me I prefer to work hard at what I want, it has never let me down.

Let us start off by talking about what it is about a woman that attracts a man’s attention. Aside from the standard attractants of intellect, and other things most men like, I want to discuss what attracts a guy on a deeper level, a subconscious level. The ability to draw a man in without him knowing it, for a girl is probably priceless.

Guys, how many times have you been asked, “Are you a butt, boob, or leg man?” If you’re like me, you’re probably asked on a weekly basis. Yes, I get asked that question a lot, so I decided to research the basis of this question.

Anyway, I bought “The Definitive Book of Body Language” by Allan and Barbara Pease. Within its pages I learned the secret. If you have not yet read this book it is highly recommended. What I have learned I am going to share with you.

The thing to remember here is that physical beauty is overrated. It is overrated because we as human beings have an inborn desire to find a mate that is as attractive as we are. Now the physical attributes of a woman that make men pay attention are the butt, the boobs, and the legs. Call us shallow if you will, but it is something we cannot help, it is nature.

When a guy looks at a girl’s butt what is he looking for?  Well, we are looking at the shape of it, is it rounded and peach shaped?  Is it contained? We definitely don’t want a girl with a splatter ass that looks like she was spanked with a bag of nickels.  Anyway, genetically speaking, and reverting to the theory of evolution, human beings evolved from primates. *no debates* Primates all have flat bottoms, no butts unless they are ready for mating.  When the primate is ready for mating, the buttock becomes enlarged in order to signal potential mates of her status.  Human beings on the other hand have permanently enlarged buttocks and are almost always sexually ready to mate.  The reason for this is to encourage prolonged pairings to their chosen partner, and for successful child bearing.

That is why men are attracted to a woman’s buttocks, because it is a signal that she is ready for mating with him.  The butt is also a storage container for fat cells which help while breastfeeding and times of limited food supply.

The Market

The last century of mass selling has been focused around sex appeal.  High heel shoes emphasize a woman’s buttocks when she walks and makes her arch her back which in turn makes the butt protrude in a good way.  Most outfits have been designed to accentuate the female buttocks.  So men, when your wife, girlfriend, or whatever girl you got at home asks you, “Does this make my butt look big?”  You can say with a smile, “Absolutely baby.”  Then after you get up off the floor you can casually explain why that was a good thing.

Oh lord, the breasts.  I am a boob man.  I love them; I’ve never met a pair I didn’t like.  I was very interested to find out why I liked boobs so much, but I was a bit disappointed.  Apparently boobs only have two real purposes. They are breastfeeding babies, and sexual signaling.  Why do women even have them?  Let us once again revert to evolution, female primates don’t have boobs, in fact if one stood up on their back legs you couldn’t tell the gender of the primate.  Females developed the breast as a natural way to mimic their rear ends. 

There was actually a study conducted by one of the bored colleges on cleavage recognition.  The results were profound and hilarious to me at least.  It appears that most men cannot tell the difference from a butt crack and a cleavage.

Women don’t fret.  If you have a small pair of boobs, it’s ok.  Men are not just attracted to the size of the boobs; it’s more about the cleavage.  The cleavage is what stimulates men most.  From an A cup all the way to whatever size is the biggest, it doesn’t matter that much, we like them all.  However, men prefer the breasts of women at their sexual peak.  Ladies, if you catch yourself doing this it is natural, but women that are attracted to a male will sometimes lean forward and bring her arms together which enhances her cleavage.

The Market

There is a huge market for breast augmentation and display.  Bra’s for one quickly comes to mind.  They are specifically designed to support the breasts, right?  Yes.  They are also designed to create cleavage. Well, maybe not the sports bra.  Low cut shirts are designed to show off the cleavage.  Let us not forget about the cosmetic breast enhancement industry, which incidentally is a multibillion dollar industry.  These girls in smutty magazines are all big breasted and young, the best way to sell to young men, hell even old men.

Not a lot can be said about the legs.  Men often like long legs because when a girl reaches puberty she undergoes a rapid lengthening of the legs.  Long legs equal sexual maturity and the girl is capable of child bearing.  These signals are easily picked up by males.  Males however, prefer women with shapely, thicker legs than those of the knobby kneed variety.  Men like women’s legs to look athletic with a bit of extra fat on them.  The extra fat signals better lactation.

The Market

The market for leg accentuation is not nearly as involved as that of butts and boobs.  There still is a market for leg highlighting.   All shoes with a heel highlight the length of the leg.  Skinny jeans can do the same.

Do not think that all men are only attracted to the butts, breasts, and legs of women. A man will typically like a girl that is intelligent and self sufficient and has a great personality. Unfortunately, intelligence and personality cannot be judged from across the room. The big three is what will initially attract us to you, but your intelligence and personality is what will keep us around.

If you notice, there is nothing in the above paragraphs that mention, stick thin or looking sickly. Consumerism has seriously messed up how women see themselves. I honestly don’t know of very many men that like a woman to be skinny, fit and healthy are the most common descriptive words used. See, I conducted my own little survey while I was bored, and discovered that 99.8% of the men I surveyed want a woman to have substance to her. The thing to remember here is that a skinny girl looks to be unhealthy while a woman with some meat on her bones looks like she is healthy and taken care of, all good things. So if you are a girl and you have a muffin top, you should celebrate that, if you think your butt is too big then you should again celebrate that. The key word to remember in all of this is proportionate.

Whenever a possible mate for a male walks into the area, he will immediately start preening.  This preening is more akin to fidgeting as he will mess around with his clothes or other type of things.  The most popular thing a male will do to catch a woman’s attention is to highlight his crotch.  What can I say ladies, we aren’t very clever.  Men if you want to know if a girl is into you, wear your tie to the side—off center.  If the girl likes you, she’ll straighten it.  This can be done with several things, if she tries to make you more presentable she is proud to be seen with you.

What about the male body attracts women to men?  Is she a chest, butt, or legs girl?  You may be wondering about the choices, two of the three have to do with primal instincts while the other deals with a more sexual nature.

The mighty and powerful male chest is one of the main body parts for women to be attracted to.  She is attracted to the chest, in conjunction with the arms and shoulders, because it shows how powerful a man is.  We have been around for what ten thousand years?  In those years, the basic principle behind this attraction has never changed.  A man with broad shoulders, muscular chest, and strong arms, is more able to defend against attackers and wrestle animals.  The whole wrestling animals equals out to providing food.  Even today women are still overwhelmingly attracted to that one detail.

The Market

In the market today you can find thousands of products that promise a buffed physique in a bottle.  In order to highlight your chest, whether you have muscle or have a bird chest you can still increase your strength by working hard in the gym and around the house.  Also, if you already have a woman, she’ll say that your chest is fine but I guarantee if you come home with a bigger more powerful chest, she will notice and be more attracted to you.

Males generally don’t have butts.  At least we don’t know we do until it itches, but women look at the male butt for one purpose.  Is it small and tight?  A survey was taken again by someone that was bored; they found that 40 percent of women want a man with a small, tight butt.  The reason—if a man has a small, tight butt he is more able to give that final thrust subsequently ensuring procreation.  I hope I don’t need to be more graphic than that.  A man with a big, flabby butt is more than likely unable to give a good final thrust and he will end up putting most of his weight on the girl, which apparently is uncomfortable.  So a small, tight butt equals children and a big, flabby butt equals getting squished.

The Market

 I can’t say that I know of any products to make a man’s butt more appealing.  Like I said earlier, we don’t really know we have a butt until it itches. 

A man’s legs are a sign of power and endurance. Endurance I believe is pretty important to a woman mainly because of vitality. The longer a man can go the better right? Male legs are the longest of all primates and allow them to run swiftly for an extended period of time, to better chase and hunt, to better provide for his woman. According to Dr. Devendra Singh, women prefer men with a 90 percent waist to hip ratio.

The Market

Again, the market place only has the one area that I know of for leg enhancement, the gym. If you want to have more powerful legs, you have to go to the gym.

Women and men both have three physical areas of the body that can attract the opposite gender. In a social gathering, these areas are what are looked at. Once the decision has been made that this person is an acceptable partner, the other stage of attraction begins. Some folks refer to this as flirting or whatever else, but it is the step necessary to bring that person into your bubble. It is also the foundation upon which relationships are built. I hope you enjoyed reading and thank you for reading to this point.

The next sequence will discuss the actual stage of flirtation and partner attraction.

References: The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan and Barbara Pease.

© 2010 by Wesley Cox. All rights reserved. Copying without permission is illegal and will be prosecuted.