I know I'm not the only one who has thought about this during late nights of insomnia. What do you think it's like? If it's natural, is it like falling asleep and that's the end end of everything? You become fertilizer for mother nature and a name on a leaf on ancestry.com. Or is there a tunnel leading toward the infamous light, like so many survivors of near death experiences report? What about Heaven or Hell? Reincarnation? So many philosophies and religions have different beliefs as to what happens, but they can't all exist. Is it even possible to have a personal belief these days, or is everything based on life's influences?
I agree that I too have thought of how I would die: would it be abrupt and sudden or lasting and painful ? But, I am not scared of it. It comes when it comes. Different religions may have different thoughts, philosophies about Death. One can't help but get drawn into the dark abyss that is Death.
We have nothing to fear but fear itself.
It's interesting to note however that it is said that all fears are linked to fear of death. For example, people are scared of snakes, because they might be venomous, and they're scared of getting bitten, which will then possibly lead to death.
Whatever one's feelings, we are all resigned to it. And billions have gone before us.
It comes down to pain and fear in the end.
Many have faith to protect them from the fear. Or they think they do at least. I have had the misfortune of watching someone very dear to me fading away at the end of a great ninety year run. My entire life, this person has been an icon of Christian strength, faith that even superseded medical care in favor of God "handling it" sometimes. The singularly most devoted Christian I've ever encountered, and not one of those worthless lip-service Christians like you see in Internet forums, but a real bible reader, a quiet type, an example type. Disciplined, hard working, generous, put in the sweat and out-there-in-the-world labor for decades, not chat room blah blah... and now, in the gravity of the end, it's all gone. God has abandoned a 90 year old woman and left her to quake in fear. You can tell me I don't believe because I'm a cynical a-hole. That's fine. But the strokes have robbed her of her ability to work the passages of that old Bible that meant so much to her, and now she only knows she's going, that her husband is gone, that she's going to blink out soon, never see her children and grandchildren again. She doesn't lament the loss of faith. She doesn't regret it or curse it... it's just gone. Evaporated. All that work and devotion and sacrifice. Gone. Poof. She has only terror, agony and fear. Endless fear. It's so unfathomably sobering to witness I don't even have the words for it.
We all want to die "well." For most, that means in our sleep with no pain or foreknowledge. For a few, that might mean in the work of some essential cause. None of us want to suffer when we go. None of us want to be afraid. Be terrified.
Death isn't funny. It isn't an internet forum topic to be trolled or patronized with platitudes. It's real and it's brutal. Yes, we're all going there. Yes, there can be beautiful moments extracted from the experience (sometimes), but those come down the road, and only for the living.
I think it's a poor idea to play with death. It's not a trifle to disrespect for the casual amusement of an evening online.
I try not to think about this. I didn't have the choice on which date to arrive to this world and I accept the fact that I don't get to choose when/how I will leave. I try to enjoy the time that I still have.
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