NEVER to have children?
Not every woman was meant to be a mother. There are some women who do not a maternal instinct. Yes, there are women who are quite happy without children. They have friends, careers, and other fulfilling interests. Not having children give such women the ultimate freedom to pursue their education, chosen careers, and hobbies. They also have more discretionary income to travel and generally do as they wish.
No, not every person (woman or otherwise) should be or can be a good parent; those people are probably better off without children.
They will never know the enormous satisfaction, the love or the pride that comes with children and will have to satisfy themselves with the shallower things of life like careers and hobbies. They will have to be content hugging the things money can buy, but it IS their choice and they should never be denigrated for making it.
You just denigrated the hell out of that choice in two different ways.
Respecting choice would include not calling it shallow and for lesser people. You depict as intrinsically shallow the lives of nuns, asexuals, those who sacrifice to care for other family members and so forth.
IMHO only people who want children and can provide a good home for them should have them, for reasons that I hope are obvious.
+ A multillion percent in agreement here! So many parents have children that they AREN'T emotionally, financially, nor psychologically prepared for and LOOK AT THE CONSEQUENCES it ENSUED in this society. There are people who have children because of familal, religious, and societal pressure much to their UTTER REGRET later on.
Such parents are perfunctory at best and abusive at worst. They view the child as a ball and chain. They cannot wait until the child lives home so they have their lives back. Only a few percentage of parents actually love and enjoy their children; many parents view children as merely an obligation to appease family, religion, and society, nothing more, nothing less. At least women who elect to be childfree are honest regarding their wants, desires, and choices.
Not necessarily so. One can say that they will never know the aggravation, the emotiona/mental/psychological stress and TURMOIL that some children put their parents through. They won't spend monies to get them out of some type of trouble.
They won't have a child that although raised properly will turn out to be an irresponsible and otherwise negative adult who is hell on wheels. They won't have a child which will cause them to have a heart attack and age them physically because the latter is totally sociopathic or psychopathic. They won't have to be subjected to an unappreciative child to whom nothing is EVER enough.
There was a study by Anne Landers about 4 decades ago. The questionnaire asked parents if they had to do it over, would they have children. Over 50% indicated emphatically that they WOULDN'T have children!
To each their own, I say. If having kids is what you want, go for it, if not, it doesn't mean you are any less of a person or any worse of a person. Successful (and happy) people come from a great variety of backgrounds and do not share a singular formula for their success.
Oh, and by the way, I attended college while my oldest kids were still young. And I can assure you having and raising children is not an automatic death sentence to our life goals
I absolutely agree!! Having children is not a death sentence. Not everyone is capable of being financially perfect in the time frame of having children.. does that in turn mean that they should give up that right?
Hats off to the women out there that choose not to...I can see how it could be easy to get lost in work and other priorities, but my children are my world and I know that there is still plenty of time for me to accomplish other goals that I have for my life.
I don't see anything wrong with women electing not to have children. After all, it is their right...
Having kids just to satisfy your own ego is doing things for the wrong reasons. Most people get married, have kids and carry on. This is the natural circle of life. But if you choose not to bee in this scene than, so be it. No one has the right to judge you. This is the strength of women today. We have choices.
Although it may seem as going against nature, roles are no longer set as in the past. The so called women's role and men's role and already blurring. Here men are at a disadvantage as they still have to be with a woman if they want kids.
Do I think someone who never has children is wrong? No. Do I think they will miss something incredible? Yes. Just like I will miss out on "ultimate freedom to pursue their education, chosen careers, and hobbies. They also have more discretionary income to travel and generally do as they wish.". Though I think it's a bit silly to say a woman who has children is incapable of pursuing education, career, and hobbies, the part about my income is right on point, because now I choose to spend it on my three children instead of myself. So I give up one joy for another.
You are very correct though. Some women and men just won't make a quality parent. Just like any other career, one must have a set of skills to bring to it. Without those skills there is no point in pursuing that career.
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Just wanting to hear why you decided to have children. Anyone care to share?
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