No that's not a problem at all. As in India, it is mostly summer and hot for around 8 months and wearing trousers would be very uncomfortable for them. Why do you think that girls are being too girly if they are wearing short skirts. I think everyone should wear anything in which he/she feels comfortable. For school girls, the more comfort of wearing can also mean good marks in the classes.
My granddaughters wear short skirts in Australia and they both look terrific in them. I think for some girls short skirts are not always attractive, but the truth is at this age they are trying to learn about their sexuality, so no big deal, they soon learn.
I have read the Quoran as I said it is a load of rubbish. Most of the world do not follow the dress code you suppose on everyone, not even others who read the Quoran and believe it.So you know more than everyone else, you are right, the rest of the world is wrong... where have I heard this before?
If a girl is underage, you should not be able to see her butt. Mini shirts are okay, to a degree. I have seen "skirts" that are just jeans with the legs cut off. Underage girls need a reality check, sometimes.
I have an eight month old daughter, and I see her butt way too often. I would like to see it less... and more tidy. When she is 15, I better not see it peeking out from under her skirt, or she'll be wearing a "Snuggie" to school.
Do you realize that battles alienate your kids and lead to them not sharing their life events with parents and seeking other people to be their advisers? And with their relatively limited life experience they often pick the kind of people you would rather don't see around them?
I guess mothers are a lot less reasonable than fathers. I agree with you, but I know I am going to be a strict mom. I hope that with time, I will relax. But I am looking at my first child... a little baby. I can't imagine her being an unreasonable teenager dealing with an unreasonable mom.
It is the "fashion" that I am worried about. I hope that my daughter will not adopt the "fashion" of someone who is exploiting themselves, or being exploited. I know I will not like what she's wearing, regardless. My mom freaked when I got a brow piercing and dyed my hair purple. I was over eighteen, though, and living on my own.
Well, when I was teaching in New Zealand, the problem wasn't so much the short skirts of the girls, but the boys' trousers being halfway down their bum when their boxers and bum crack out for all to see.
So you think the best way to deal with sexual urges is to deny them? Sex is sex, natural and good for everyone. Rapists are rapists, you can't dress to protect from rapists. You do not make the kids pay for some deviants.
Sufidreamer, this may be totally off topic, but my experience with ESL is that they spell better than native speakers, if they learned it as a written rather than a foreign language. Why? Because they memorize spelling without relation to phonetics. Meanwhile, native speakers of English with a poor education struggle with spelling.
That's not to say this one isn't a fake, but I would look to the grammar and not the spelling for clues.
I don't think my daughter should be covered from head to toe because I believe she'll be raped. Evil men rape because they want to. I want my daughter to respect her age. When she is 18, she can walk the streets in a bikini. An adult body is a dangerous thing for a young girl to have. I remember being young and having a well developed body. I am glad I had a good mother, or I might have gotten myself into situations I couldn't handle because of it.
You are missing the point. Our Pakistani friend believes most of the women body should be covered. Does not really matter what reasons he has, those reasons are relative to his local morals. You believe certain parts of the body should be covered, less then he believes, but still this is only quantitative difference not qualitative. And your reasons also are relative to your local morals.
Does it give you an idea on how really relative and not absolute both believes are?
Some of us are going to be girly girls to the hilt. If that means you getting upset about people wearing skirts, then you really need to just look elsewhere. I wore short skirts a few times in high school, but most of the time I wore slightly longer ones.
Being "girly" and wearing a micro-mini skirt aren't necessarily the same thing. A lot of teens today equate being feminine with being "slutty looking" (or if not "slutty looking", then at least revealing lots of skin). There are lots of girly outfits that are feminine or cute or pretty but not trashy. I'd like to see today's teens learn the difference.
I don't think it kills any students to learn that there are some clothes for places like school or work and other clothes for parties or clubs. Last February I went for coffee at Burger King, and in came a chunky teen girl with no coat, spaghetti straps, and the worst case of cleavage I've seen in Massachusetts Februaries. She just looked like an idiot who didn't know how to dress appropriately or else someone for whom showing the cleavage was so important she'd ignore the Winter temperatures (and the fact that it was Burger King on a Sunday afternoon). She would have looked a lot girlier in a pretty, feminine, sweater and maybe pretty scarf and hat.
Akmed al’Nassiri had donned a pair of faded blue jeans, black tennis shoes, and a gray gangsta’ style hoodie in an attempt to blend in to the crowd. A pair of dark sunglasses rounded out his ensemble. He hated this look. He saw it every day on campus, and could never understand why anyone would want to present himself in such a fashion. But America’s “young and dumb” gravitated toward the “plumber’s crack” look, or the blatant exposure of four or five inches of their $65 Zummerli boxer shorts beneath their sagging pants. The look usually included a baseball cap worn sideways, atop their metal-pierced faces and tattooed necks. When he saw people dressed liked this, he often expected to see their eyes crossed, tongues hanging out of their mouths, and their arms flailing about as they ran down the sidewalk babbling nonsense. That would have made some sense to him. Nothing says “I’m an idiot” louder or clearer, he thought.
It's just what kids today are doing. Apparently looking slutty, or looking like an idiot is very fashionable nowadays! I'm more concerned about the more permanent fashion statements...the kinds you can't change out of or wash off. What happens when they can't find a job because when they were 17, they thought it was cool to be a neo-Nazi and tattoo a swastika on their forehead?
Thank you for helping work through this. You guys may be saving my daughter from a lot of grief. I am hearing you all and taking it in. Thank you for being rational and helping battle my FEAR. Fear is all it is.
You might be worrying about the wrong thing. If you can keep your kid talking to you while they're a teen, you've won half the battle. It's hard because you know more of the answers than they do and you want them to succeed so badly, but if you force them to abide by your rules, you lose influence with them. That's why you should only try to force rules on the important things, go to school, don't stay out past a certain time, etc. Clothes is way down on the list. She'll make stupid mistakes, just like you did. Take pictures, they'll come in handy in the future.
The more you let them go their own way and advise them, the more trust you will build with them. Let's face it teens and adults don't have much trust towards one another. Parents want to give their kids the best chance possible with the fewest mistakes and teens are confused and trying to find themselves. You won't do yourself or your teen any good by getting into fights with things she can circumvent. Let her win a few of the not so important things and you'll find that when you're proven right, she'll be more apt to listen to you.
I saw far too many parents at the facility I used to work at try to force kids to do stuff. You can force, but it's pretty ineffective, you have to influence. That's a whole different ball game.
This is a very true statement. It is so hard to try to prepare for, also. I will have to work it out as I go along. Communication is key, as in any relationship. I am sure all will work out fine. I will be here for her... when she needs me, and when she doesn't.
It's hard even working with the kids I worked with. You get close to them, share their victories and defeats. But you always have to be the adult and sometimes that means stepping aside and letting them get a taste of what it really is like out there and being there for them when they come back looking for answers.
Keep your kid talking to you and you'll head off most of their problems, no matter what they wear. Plus you'll get plenty of awesome pictures to show her prospective husbands when she brings them home to meet you. Good times.
OK...my actual opinion on this is that scantily and 'tartily' dressed teenagers are so common that they are like part of the wall paper. They are everywhere...in line at the grocery store, freezing in the frozen food aisle, etc., etc.
I also notice a significant number of them are overweight, and really think nothing of letting rolls hang out at the midriff, or excessive cleavage, or wearing very short shorts or minis. Maybe its just prevalent in AZ because of the climate. ?
But I guess the effect it has on me is I don't even notice them, because they don't know how to dress. I love clothes, and I always appreciate anybody with a unique style or someone who knows how to dress to enhance their attractiveness. ...that common slutty thing just doesn't usually work that well, IMHO.
I never had a uniform or even a dress code in school. I thought it was awesome. It let us be who we wanted and how we wanted to show ourselves to the world. Short skirt? Sure, why not? It's up to parents to decide what is appropriate for their daughters to wear. But not be too strict and letting their daughters explore their style. I live in Florida, everyone is in bathing suits and board shorts at my school
It isn't Arizona. Living in Massachusetts (where it's only hot for about four weeks a year), I've seen how ridiculous things have gotten. I may notice them because my own daughter is just recently grown up and/or because I came of age at the height of the Women's Movement. I'm really proud of the way she dresses, because I started when she about four years old, trying to teach her good taste. She's tiny and has a perfect, slim, build (so everything looks good on her). She always dresses really fashionably but never at all trashy. I always told her, "Half the population has female body parts. Anyone can get people to look at them showing them off. The real measure of how attractive you are is whether people look when you're not revealing body parts."
I always told my daughter that showing "body parts" is what women do when they don't have a pretty face, pretty hair, pretty legs, or anything else going for them.
The other thing, though, is I think people need to know where to wear what. If you're playing tennis it's one kind of clothes. If you're going out to a club it's another. If you're working at the office - yet another. School - another. When you have cleavage showing up at the supermarket and WalMart and court and Burger King it just looks kind of ridiculous. For the most part, I think most of us don't notice most of the inappropriately dressed people any more because they're so common. We notice the people who are dressed nicely and attractively.
Agreed, Lisa. And I have never thought of myself as a prude at all, either...its simply a matter of good taste. I mean, I believe we have all seen what we are talking about here and it truly is over the top. They should all be invited to talk to Stacey & Clinton on What Not to Wear!
It doesn't bother me so much. If they feel comfortable enough to go out in public, more power to 'em. They may not have money to buy new clothes when they change sizes. Or they never learned what fits their body type the best. Or they don't have someone to call them out on it.
As far as younger girls wearing less clothes...When prostitots are at the movies my boyfriend just says "My daughter will never be able to leave the house like that". I understand. My sister will go to leave the house and my dad will go "where's the rest of the outfit?" It's funny as hell.
Well...you know I don't CARE, Cole. Let them wear whatever they want. But it does affect the way I view them. Which is, I guess, I mostly don't notice them at all...or I guess if I was in a position where I had to evaluate, it would be in a somewhat negative light.
I think lots of girls go through that thing when they're yanking up the skirts, rolling up the shorts, and tying up the shirts...at about 14 or so. Then they figure out the sex stuff and their own positive identity a bit more and get over it. I remember my trip to Florida at 14,
I don't know any girls that tie up or roll up. It is just the actual clothes they buy. No modifying needed. As far as sex, most know about it well before 14. It is in an effort to fit in and look older that the amount of covering is lessened. Usually it is the shorter shirts or shorts, or middle area, cuz there isn't anything up top yet!
I wear low cut tops, I like my boobs, and I feel comfortable. I don't wear short dresses or skirts because my thighs aren't my favorite body part.
Well, we are talking a few years ago when I was 14, . And yep, we used to roll those shorts up to our butt. (My one sister still does! Which is funny.) The thing was--parents would let you go out dressed one way--then you had to roll or tie things to make it revealing. And maybe it was a Midwestern thing, too...it is probably a little more moderate there all the way around (not a bad thing).
Here in Sedona of course, we have wealthy older ladies who like to show off their 'acquired' assets at events--I mean really show them off. OMG. I'm sorry...but it always makes for good people watching (and talking--and yep, event staff does comment).
You can, of course, wear almost anything if you have good taste and know how to work it well. I've always been a size 2-4, but I still tend to be a bit more modest (if a little 'sexy' in presentation, not actual show) than some--that's just how I feel comfortable.