There is so much violence in our movies now than ever before , so much horror , killing and blood , what do you expect from a society whose kids are exposed to all these kinds of threats ? we are looking at future destabilized societies
As horrified as I am by the writers, directors, and producers of these movies, I can't blame them entirely. If we, as a whole, put our foot down and refused to pay to view these movies, they couldn't afford to keep making them.
As for allowing children to view them, that is an individualistic decision. Every child is different, capable of more than we think sometimes. Some children are mature enough to handle scenes we think they can't, some scenes aren't as violent as we thought. It all depends on the movie, the child, and the parent. In my opinion, though, the less exposure to questionable 'entertainment', the better!
personally, i think it sounds like your putting way too much blame on the movie companies, and not enough on the parents. after all, nobody is putting a gun to a person's head and telling them to let their kids watch R rated films. Some parents just do it for fun while ignoring the obvious rating on it. Like I still remember when the Matrix sequels were coming out, parents actually took their kids to see those movies while ignoring completely the R rating. This is exactly what im talking about. if you don't want your kids to watch these types of films, then you need to stop taking them to these kind of movies and start following the damn rating system on films. they put those on there for a reason there people. not so you can ignore them, and take your kids to the movie anyway. no, they're telling you that, so you'll know what to expect. therefore, if you don't want kids to see r rated movies, then just stop taking them. it's just that simple.
I think the rated M games are more of an issue these days. That's just my opinion. Honestly, I lost control over that issue long ago with my son. He is 15.
I found that issue easier to control, actually. All game systems were physically tossed out of the house last summer. Good behavior granted a new one so I got the Wii and have sole purchasing rights for all games. My step son (15) has a Nintendo DS his nana bought him but she doesn't consider violence levels when she buys games for him, he just has to say he likes it or wants it and she gets it. It stinks but just because she bought it, does not mean he should be allowed to play it in my house. Thankfully his father agrees and we confenscate all games and cds we strongly feel he should not have access to.
I have to say that I never tried that. I would not have had the support of his father, I'm pretty sure about that. He is the one who bought the darn things in the first place. But I know my kid, he would just go play games over at his friends house. And I cannot control the parents of my neighborhood, any more than I can control what he sees on T.V. Maybe I haven't tried hard enough, I would like to think I have. I don't buy the games, I don't take him to buy the games, but he still has them. All well, just by this comment alone, it is easy to see why I think video games are the bigger problem. It is the bigger problem for me and my parenting. Great topic however. I'm interested in reading everyones ideas and opinions.
When dad is buying the games, all you can do is calmly express your disapproval, in private, and see about compromising in the form of time limits. I don't know how it is in your house but in ours, no televisions are allowed in bedrooms and that helps. The television is mine until my husband comes home than it is his. This means that each child must request permission to change the channel and we must approve it. Chores not done? Bad attitude? Sorry. As for the other parents, that is a tough one, too. I have found that bringing up the subject of what limitations we impose at home in a subtle manner almost always produces results. More often than not, I encounter parents who agree with me but let the children go ahead for not wanting to put their child in an awkward position if their friend is allowed to. For the few parents that have shown a blatant disregard for our requests and disrespect us by allowing them to do things without express permission, we have simply made sure any interaction with that child is on our terms, in our house. I learned a long time ago that I don't have to be friends with my children's parents as long as the kids are in a safe, responsible environment. If not, ours is, their child can come here.
I think violence in the media is desensitizing us, but there's no point trying to censor it at this point. We ought to have parallel teachings of peace and let people decide which is more exciting to watch.
Who here thinks we're doomed?
There must obviously be a parental control over kids behaviour towards what they watch .
I honestly don't see how letting kids watch violent movies is going to mess them up in the future. I watched plenty of horror films, violent movies and other things and I reckon (personally) its made me tougher. When I go to the cinema with my mates and watch a horror film, or one with lots of gore, I don't get scared (not that I'm boasting), but I see grown men go pale white as their girlfriends tease them about the film they have just seen.
If you shelter children too much, its going to result in a bunch of people who can't handle the real world. Wait, whats that? You don't think these movies are the real world? How sheltered you are my friend...start watching the news or take a quick trip to places like Pakistan where natural disasters, crime and terrorism are a reality. Do you reckon parents care if their kids watch violent films in countries like that?
Obviously, I don't think you should purposefully show them violent movies, but there's no point in changing the channel when a man gets shot or a monster appears.
The trouble with letting children watch films rated for older viewers though, especially films rated higher for violence, is that children are entertained by the violence but they do not always understand the story behind it. Therefore, they are sometimes enjoying violence for the sake of violence, without having much of a clue of the more subtle ideas that may have led to it.
It depends on how old the child actually is, of course. My son is 10, but I let him watch 12a rated films at the cinema, which means a child under 12 can go with an adult. He watched the last James Bond film last year with his dad. When he got back he was going on about all the action scenes and how 'cool' they were, but when I asked him about the storyline he couldn't tell me anything about it.
You make a very good point. Speaking for myself, the real problem I have is that there IS so much wrong the world and you can see as much as you want in the news, why watch the glorified, glamourized version on the big screen? I don't want my kids to be desensitized by violent movies and cartoons. I want them to be able to look at the news and know that it's real, not a movie, and that's wrong. Obviously the limitations vary depending on maturity levels but the age groups in my house are 15, 9, 8, 6, & 4 so there's a LOT of screening. The older two can handle more but since the younger ones can't, its a no-go.
Ok I'm not being harsh here AT ALL. If I do offend anyone by saying any of this, I apologize.
Kids who are left wide open and given as much freedom as possible in their early years are less likely to get bullied at school because they MIGHT be more "street smart" . Which means they are more likely to be confident as they get older. Which means they are more likely to get better jobs and have a better relationship with the other sex. Which means they are more likely to be happy in their life.
I know, it's a long shot and a very extremist point of view. Remember that I've made a point of "less/more likely". I just personally believe children should be told what is wrong and what is right early in their lives and then be shown (nearly) EVERYTHING. Why shelter them? Teach them. Educate them that violence is wrong. Educate them that ghosts and vampires don't exist. Educate them that there are bad people in this world.
@ Polly C - I definately agree that it depends on age. I haven't yet had children, both my brother and my sister have three children each and I'm just watching them grow up.
I definitely agree that you should teach children that violence is wrong, the only issue is that when children are exposed to a lot of violence they may think violence is 'right' instead.
Yep agree with that. Don't feed them violent movies! All I'm saying is, don't shelter them either.
You know what I don't like about the way my sister raises her kids? She shelters them from everything. If there's a fighting scene in a movie (we were watching street fighter the other day) she INSISTS that we change the channel. The children (who were fine watching it a second ago) get edgy and suddenly this idea pops into their head "Why doesn't she want us watching this? Is it because I'm too young? When I get older, or when she's not looking, I'm going to watch this." Which is exactly what her 6 year old son said to me after she left. He wanted to see the end of the movie because he had never seen anything like it! (No. I didn't let him)
It's almost impossible to shelter children completely, all that happens in the end is that they end up doing things you don't want them to at friend's houses, and keeping it secret. Maybe not at 6, but definitely by about 9, if they are that way inclined. I think if you are too strict then you run the risk of having a child who will hide things from you. Personally, I prefer to have kids that tell me what they get up too...or at least some of it!
Exactly! My dad always said "If you're gonna smoke son, smoke in front of me. If you're gonna drink, drink in front of me, if you're gonna have sex..." haha, he didn't go that far. But his point was, don't hide stuff from me. I might be disappointed, but you're allowed to do whatever you want. Experience life to the max and tell me what you learn.
No offense taken here. I believe that there are pros to raising children this way, there are also cons. I have friends whose parents pretty much let them experience everything. I was brought up very strict. I have tried to find a balance in my parenting techniques as there were cons to growing up sheltered too. I have also found that the lack of having children doesn't necessarily mean that your opinion is less valid. Sometimes, the people that would make great parents never get to be and people that would make lousy parents never stop to consider that when popping them out. Everything, in my opinion, should be about age appropriate balance.
I tell you what, I'm not really interested in violent films, I think boys are more that way inclined anyway, but i remember feeling really disturbed when I was about 12 because I saw the film about the serial killer Ted Bundy - my mum was watching it and didn't stop me from staying up late and watching. That really did freak me out, because it was realistic (well, obviously it was real). It stayed in my mind for ages.
Anyway, I'm not offended, we're all just sharing our views. I do speak from my point of view as a parent, but being a parent is always a learning curve anyway.
the kid catcher in chitty chitty bang bang marked me for life!!
Jesus....not him Daddy! anything but him!!....make him go away!!
Oh God, that was one of the few who freaked me out. We used to watch it when I was really little around Christmas time each year. I remember being 100% certain that my great aunt was the child catcher.
Don't know...it was a half arsed thought at best!
Watching really bad movies like violent and horrific I don't agree with, but minor violence that gently suggests to the kids that it is good to have a fight with a large Decepticon transformer or a nasty Russian spy is ok in my book!
do you know that the subconscious part in us , the adults , is also affected by horror and violent movies ? .do you know that nightmares , insomnia , several sleep are but a few symptoms of a disturbed and disordered subconscious ? watch out , our psyche is an accumulation of all our experiences an what we watch is an important part of these experiences.
So do you think that's why I dreamt about being chased by pregnant aliens through a deserted town after watching Independance Day than The Hills Have Eyes II? Interesting......
chica , our subconscious stores tons and tons of experiences and you might have watched a scary movie a while ago then you just had a nightmare close to what you have seen a long time ago in the movie . you might have been a subject to a certain kind of maltreatment for example in your childhood , the effect of this experience might accompany you the rest of your life and is displayed in different forms in life .
If there's one film I will never take my son to see, it's Transformers! He has seen it actually, but not with me, just can't bear it...it's definitely only for boys and their dads!
Actually I think my son is reading books that are more violent that the films he sees. He reads teen fiction, like Darren Shan's Demonata and Robert Muchamore's the Henderson Boys. Somehow I always turn a blind eye, just because I'm pleased he's so good at reading.
I took my son to see both the Transformer movies and we loved it, because it was ok that they were big robots doing some funky wrestling moves and it wasn't real and my son knew the baddies and he was secretly rooting for the bad guys to win.
I've read all of Darren Shans books so far and they are great with genuine themes of horror in them that make them quite scary for adults too lol.....(Not really!)
we should draw the children away from movies and TV altogether and get them into some healthy hobbies like taxidermy
I grew up watching Daffy Duck get his head blown off like seven times in one animated short every Saturday morning.
I saw Luke Skywalker get his hand cut off by his own dad.
I watched the GIJoe team blaze away at the COBRA operatives with their little laser blasters, with nobody getting hurt until they got within hand-to-hand range, and then the Joes would take one swing, and their enemies would fold up like...a folder.
I also watched a wounded Roy Fokker linger in a coma and eventually die, leaving grieving friends and family behind.
Later, his successor as squadron commander, Rick Hunter, had to write to Ben Dixon's parents when Ben fell in the line of duty.
The Untouchables. Pulp Fiction. Jaws. Resevoir Dogs. Tombstone. Jurassic Park. Etc, etc, etc.
And none of that screen violence prepared me, even a little bit, for when that motorcycle crashed on the highway, and I pulled over to try and help, and saw the man lying there, one eye open, staring at nothing, bleeding from his mouth and ears. My paltry first aid training was worthless against the trauma of a 70-mph collision, and I watched, helpless, as he died.
Desensitized? [Expletive deleted] no.
Perhaps if I were an EMT, or a cop, or something like that, and encountered that sort of thing, in real life, on a regular basis, maybe then I'd become desensitized, but I wonder.
Screen violence is nothing to real life (and death) trauma.
If kids are desensitized to violence, it's because there's violence in their lives, not because there's violence on TV.
Great point! We must have grown up at the same time, because you are absolutely right. I don't go around whacking people on the head, as seen in Tom and Jerry, Gilligan's Island, Happy Days, and Lavern and Shirley.
Really good point about the child being raised in violence thing.
that's probably more true than we realize.
although I do think if young preschool age are exposed to realistic violence in movies/games or scary movies over and over again, it can certainly affect their brain. I know young kids who watched Jaws many times when they were 4-5 years old, and are still scared to go in the water.
My son unfortunately saw the news coverage of the 2004 asian tsnuami when he was four - we got up on Boxing Day, turned on the TV and there it was. He was so afraid of the sea after that, when we went on holiday he would not even go down to the shore for ages.
I know that's a bit off the topic of violence, but my point is that I definitely agree viewing experiences of the very young can really affect them.
I think it depends on the kid, I was terrified of any horror type movies. After Jaws came out I wouldn't even go in the lake, I swore I saw a shark. Of course there wasn't. But little brother loved those kinds of movies, never effected him at all. For a while I was afraid for him to play certain video cames that promoted killing, then school shootings came in the news.
He simply said, those kids were crazy, I'm not crazy I just like those kinds of games. He is now 24 years old and seems no worse for wear.
So I just think it just depends on the kids. Of course very young 2,3,4,5 years old I'd keep them away from anything violent if I had my say.
Let them keep their innocence as long as possible. But that's just my opinion.
My son was actually mostly unaffected by most things he saw on TV etc, but became terrified of witches...when he was around 7 he saw Roald Dahl 'The Witches', advertised as family viewing..he couldn't watch it, then refused to go to bed every night for ages because he couldn't stop thinking about the witches. It got really difficult, because he just refused to get over it. He's got over it now though - he is 10 now. The other thing he couldn't bear is anything with werewolves in, after getting partway through the third Harry Potter film. That film is only a PG, so obviously it isn't always age inappropriate material that children deem the scariest.
I think that when we see children in countries where they can't see these movies for one reason or another, and they wield AK-47's, know how to use them and are prepared to use them, the movies our kids see are somewhat irrelevant.
you know what, if kids see violence they copy violence simple as that. Why introduce them to violence at a young age, what is the point in that, when we have a choice. If you want violent kids let them watch the movies, i would choose not to if i had young children to be honest. My dad was really strict about what we watched. I cannot watch horror movies, or violent movies even now.... I am too scared.
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