Many people have children because they are pressured by their parents, society, and religion to have children. We are living in a pro-natalist culture where there is reward for having children. People who chose not to have children are often considered irresponsible, immature, and selfish. However, those same people thought about the pros and cons before they decided not to have children. These people are happy regarding their lifestyle as they refuse to cave into convention. Why there is immense pressure for people, especially women, to have children? Many people have children much to their regret!
I think the thing is that so many people consider it to be fulfilling the purpose of being a woman. To me, it depends on the woman. I'd like to have kids but I want to be realistic in terms of selecting a mate, the time period, and the financial feasibility of doing it. I feel like if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.
Of course, I may be pressure or expected to be with a woman of the same race, get married, and have kids. But, I would have kids whenever I am willing, ready, and able.
Maybe 'one size fits all' is the easiest thing to comprehend.
If you are a person supporting yourself in your own household no amount of "pressure" should be able to cause you to make a new life you don't really want to care for.
I plan to remain childless, and in a way it is selfish. But that's okay. I give in other ways.
If you don't want them, it is in no way selfish not to have them. Be honest with yourself...I think there is a lot of pressure on people (especially from their families) to have children, but in reality, raising children completely redirects your life. If you don't want them, don't have them.
Yeah, I would even say that if you don't want children, it is MORE selfish to have them than not to have them, because in that case, if you do have them it will be only to relieve the social pressure on yourself and you will probably end up resenting them. Kids can be hugely disruptive to your life even when you do want them. When you don't.... My mom is more than 50 years old and still bears the emotional scars of growing up unloved and unwanted by one of her parents. It's not pretty.
+1. Especially that last bit.
I realised when I was in my early twenties that I didn't want children, for a range of reasons including the fact that I'm just not used to them (I was an only child), and also because I was the product of a marriage where my mum wanted kids but my dad didn't. Cue divorce procedings and a whole range of other fallout that I won't go into.
I made up my mind that I wouldn't even CONSIDER having kids unless I met a man whom I thought would be both a good husband and a good (and willing) father, and who had sorted out his own "issues" and was able to commit both time and finances to bringing up a family.
That particular man didn't materialise for me (and tbh, I might not have recognised him if he had). But I'm not at all unhappy about that and I think it was for the best.
I wish I could have children, even one, but I can't due to a messed up body internally. The world is an ever shrinking place, so I do believe people should keep the quantity of children they have down to 2 or less for the sake of the planet and its resources. I would think this makes perfect sense to the majority of thinkers!
I completely see your point and I am in total agreement now.
We are conditioned by the industrial powers and the media that making more worker drones is a good thing. Its in all of the propaganda vehicles; love romance comedies, religion, books etc..
on the other hand, my opinion might change
I want kids but not for a long time... not until my late late 20s. I want to be able to enjoy my life without having the pressure to take care of someone else. But I know that kids can be a joy later on in life so I still want them.
Having children is a very personal decision. The demands of even one child are exceedingly high emotionally and financially. Every child however is a gift and child bearing is not to be taken lightly. I thought very long and hard before I decided having children was right for both my husband and myself. All three of my boys have been a blessing that I've never regretted. They have enriched my life in ways I could not have anticipated. But, having children is not the right choice for everyone. As a teacher, I see so many who are feeling unloved and definitely not cared for. Sometimes the decision to have children is not out of love but for other reasons. Bad decisions always affect the children the most!
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How would you tell someone she is being selfish without hurting her feelings but still being able to get the message across?
by SweetiePie3 years ago
How many people truly believe life can be 100% fulfilling for those that may never have children? How many people are childfree and loving it? I think kids are great, I just do not want any of my own.
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