Incurable Romantics an Indecipherable Term When a Crack Appears in the Love Egg

MODE of Cosmic Therapy Esoteric Educational Psychology

Behind the Hard Shell
Behind the Hard Shell | Source

MODE of Cosmic Therapy Esoteric Psychology: The Dark Personality’s Displacement

People actually believe they are incurable romantics; the indecipherable term used much too often as an automatic catch phrase.

Not only that, but they deem themselves to be the favored of the blissful union; that is, until a crack in the love egg appears quite unexpectedly.

As soon as a conflicting situation arises in the relationship, they are cured all too quickly of the hopeless disease redefined as the deliberately deceived {faintly remembering how it could have possibly taken place} delicate broken heart sob story. What happens in these disagreeable scenarios often precludes other unsuspecting domino fractured events in their lives, as well.

Why? What could possibly be the reason that a cupid bowed union goes so sour without our knowledge or consent?

Because, we, as human beings, have ineradicably imprinted ideas of ourselves that we don’t want disturbed (at any cost), nor do we want to take the time to investigate the possibility of their being another layer to our personality that we are not so lovingly clingingly identified with in our minds.

Most especially IF the problem in the relationship originated from a part of our repressed ‘dark’ personality. Dark personalities? Do we, in fact possess, an evil twin? {A divergent masked villain who hides from our conscious association}

This vigorous avoidance of the divergence from the so called ‘normal’ aggrandized assessment of grandeur we have so eagerly proudly placed upon ourselves simply escalates the matter of annoyance in romantic difficulty.

So, if /when an unapparent (unexpected) matter of unusual controversy (usually involving repressed sexual issues) arises in the relationship of the up- until- this- point, ‘romantic bliss’, and certainly one that appears contradictory to the one we’ve so conveniently assigned to ourselves in the union, itself, we can rest assured that we have stumbled into a deep cavern of esoteric psycho-analytic unresolved denied ‘contingent’ sexuality debris.

Yes, I used the word contingent! The debris is dependent upon many dislocated factors.

Better known in the psychological circles as: displacement: a defense mechanism in which a drive or feeling is shifted to a substitute object, one that is psychologically more available. We often use other means, avenues, people, issues and/or controversies as a viable means of NOT dealing with what is actually going on with us at the moment. [Has been going on subliminally for quite some time]

We have many, many layers to our well known and rehearsed personalities. But, we tend to gravitate and station upon one that supports the cushioned ideas we try to maintain about ourselves. {Without having to dig up, turn over, shuffle through too much dung}

We simply have no interest in trying to discover the disassociated part of ourselves that “comes a calling’ in the most adverse of forms.

We would rather paddle our boat of impudent disdain for others who may be offering a panoramic view of our disgruntled selves. “They’re wrong” We declare vehemently. “That has nothing at all to do with me/us.” We would rather cling to our imagined party of celebrated perfection than to deal with the revolting truth staring us in the face.

How can this impertinent cold hearted definition contain the realization concerning a ripple in marital, lover, and/or secret affair paradise? The definitive reply lies in the amount of defense we inject into the situation. (Our protestant reaction says it all!) In other words, the answer is found in the question.

We, as human beings, are cold hearted relentless viciously determined creatures who will stop at nothing to hold onto what we believe to be ours. [Most especially when it comes to upholding a graven image of the condition of our romantic affairs.] So, when it comes to interfering with our presumed pleasure and/or sense of security, the latch to the moldy bat filled cellar is let loose upon those who we deem as opponents, traitors, or invaders (messengers of bad tidings) of our private domains.

We have lived so comfortably with the predetermined, presupposed, prefabricated ideas of ourselves and our mates that any signal of trouble sends us in a defensive mode of anti attack. We balk at the very insipid suggestion that there may be something amiss.

Our jealous nature’s surface, out suspicions runs rampant and our fearful insecurities frail like an undisciplined child. We don’t want our ‘love nest’ bothered. We want to travel along our merry way with our fictitious ideologies safely in tact along with a million other well conceived lies about how truly happy we are because of our devoted mates.

Needless, to say, we certainly can and often are involved with devoted mates but they are human first, saints last. But, somehow in the mix of things, when trouble arises we are the saints who have been unjustly treated, unforgivably cheated, and unmercifully abandoned (well, at the very least: lied to).

The disturbance arises if and when we place too much value on the goodness in ourselves. Or when we place the partner in an unreasonable position of sanctity from which no mortal could possibly operate.

Remember always and never forget: when it rains, if we don’t wear a raincoat we will get wet! We are none that good! Neither are our mates without blemish and fault. Infidelity is a sore subject for most and inconceivable for more.

That’s simply unrealistic and stupid! There will be occasions when the curious human pleasure seeking nature strays. Is it the end of the world? Nope. Is it the beginning of enlightenment. Yes.

Get ready! We’re fixin’ to wade through some deep stinkin’ mud.

What will happen in most cases however, is that the underlying (latent unexpressed artistic sexual) tension will be transformed into a viable available object of wrong doing (mate).

The underlying motivation of personal unrest will once again not be addressed but shifted to an inappropriate attack on the other as if he/she is to blame for the pain, hurt, and disappointment. (The uncharacteristic intolerable behavior)

This may be all well and good for the release of unconscious projected residue of other deceitful romantic episodes and deeply imbedded trust issues, but only if the one laying the blame is aware that the object of despair has been inappropriately assigned and conveniently ascribed to the obvious unrelated mishap.

In other words, the unfortunate scenario has been created out of the manure of past unacceptable circumstances in order to learn how to see through the illusion to the fueling underlying cause.

A ‘Bone of Obvious Betrayal’ contention is being used to create and instill trust and confidence in oneself and life on equal terms.

We are not to view ourselves as deserving more than we get. We certainly are not to see as ourselves as having been given the short end of the stick or else why have we positioned ourselves in such a favorable place of honor? Do we really think we are that special not to be drug into the ‘seedy’ side of life?

When we take on the attitude that we have been wronged or that we have been so good to another, that the idea of remaining uncompromising shows up, we are completely out of touch with who we really are as imperfect vessels. We are not above the events that transpire in and around us.

We are part of the ensuing trouble. How could it be otherwise?

The trouble may appear as if it has arrived via another person’s derelict actions in the matters of trust and honor but we are always a significant strand in the weave of deceit that has been woven.

Was it not e.e. cummings who penned the words:”One’s not half of two, it’s two that are halves of one.” We must come to terms with the actualized truth in action that our mates are but authentic mirrors of ourselves.

We are not exempt from their shortcomings. They reveal to us what we won’t admit to ourselves.

When we actually bear witness to the truth of disorder in ourselves we come closer to a genuine path of forgiveness for ourselves and others. Shame is inappropriate and unnatural and need be examined thoroughly through the various heartbreaking scenes we are offered.

Assuming the victim role brings no one peace or resolution. Every lesson we gain on evolvement’s road leads to more freedom and ecstasy that passes all understanding.

If we are truly ‘incurable romantics’ then defiled romance never diminishes the inexplicable divine quailty of adoration no matter how ugly it is portrayed, experienced or participated in.

Love supersedes every cleverly disguised act of ego’s ploy to destroy, devour and demolish our ever present state of accepted innocence with no need of apologies or retribution.


Comments 2 comments

msorensson profile image

msorensson 5 years ago

To accept that the other is a mirror of ourselves, good or not so good requires leap into the abyss....fearlessness.

It demands that we give up everything we believe to be true of ourselves. In this space...we expand..to be nothing.

"We live in illusion, the appearance of things. But there is a reality, we are that reality. When we recognize this, we see that we are nothing. Being nothing, we are everything." -

I am sorry I cannot really quote anyone because the quote appears in Ram Dass's Journey of Awakening but the reference is to his guru..

Thank you for yet another awesome hub, Paula.


Paula Andrea, MA profile image

Paula Andrea, MA 5 years ago from www.mode of cosmic therapy.com Author

Once again our hearts and minds blend! Truly in the

'G-A-P',(Growing-acceptance-pains),in all of our relationships, where there is no definitive plot, plan or pardon is where we discover that which can not be grasped, ascertained or remedied from the outside but merely (hinted at) and reconciled from that which is perfect within...MODE of Cosmic Therapy

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