Do You Speak Manguage?

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Men and Women - Differences in Written Form

I was having a chat with Mr. X on Facebook, we were just shooting the breeze and one comment led to another and soon we found ourselves talking Manguage. I said I thought that it would be interesting to do a hub on this topic. He said:

"It is a choice."

I looked at that sentence and the only thing I see wrong with it is -- oops! .....is that a period I see at the end of that sentence? It looks like he isn't very excited about that idea - it looks like he thinks it might not be a good idea! Doesn't it?

I hurried and did a google search entering the words "man / language / punctuation".

The first thing that popped up was a short article about how a teacher wrote these words on the black board:

"A woman without her man is nothing"

He instructed the class to rewrite the sentence and use punctuation. The end result was that all of the males translated it like this:

"A woman, without her man, is nothing."

All of the females translated it like this:

"A woman: without her, man is nothing."

I do not think it is coincidental that all of the men and all of the woman internalized and personalized that sentence, quickly and were equally divided.

Differences in Written Form

I assumed that since almost everyone agrees that spoken communication between females and males is completely different, evidence would be clear we also have differences in our writing styles.

The differences that I found are profound. Men and women communicate so differently in written form I was able to find many examples that are surprising and hilarious. For example, I have linked an assignment that was given by a college instructor for an online assignment. The results were rapid and in about 5 paragraphs you can see this relationship would have been explosive if carried on in written form.

Some of the differences that are found in written language are that women use more pronouns, superlatives, metaphors and overall generalizations which can make for a communication train wreck between males and females. Women are more intimate and use expressions of thanks, apologies, expressions of appreciation. Men are more adverse and are much more likely to issue put downs, they are more contentious with assertions and are more prone to self promote. Men who post on the Internet are more likely to have lengthy and more frequent posts.

Male vs. Female Behavior

And this video does have a point....

Source

Equality and the internet.....

After reading several abstracts regarding the research on studies about written differences in males and females, one remarkable difference is that women and men show that they are creating the same differences online and offline in their relationships.

Women are more intimate. They use written language to intimate and build relationships. Women use weaker language, are less aggressive and relationship oriented. Women still appear to be nurturing online and they seek to establish connections and closeness. Women will ask more questions.

Is it surprising that one of the most frequently typed phrases in women language was:

"I wonder if...." (Mulac & Lundel, 1994)

Women converse and use language to find common ground. They like to hash things out but the interesting thing is, they want to agree. If one woman in a group disagrees with the general consensus of the group - they will isolate her. This lends confusion to the idea that women want to see other women succeed. It proves that women want other women to be the same and agree and not be different.

Men are aggressive, competitive and more dominating in written form. Men write and speak about resolutions or about their own status. They communicate to establish dominance and control. Men want to win. Man's communication style online is just as simple as off line. They do not use extra words, punctuation or emoticons. Men are power driven and want to be in control at home and on the Internet. The alpha dog complex rules.

I looked at the statistics of online users in totality and the estimation was that just a little less than half of the online world is dominated by men. The ideology that men are more powerful and in control is apparent in the online world. I think it is very interesting that we proclaim that males and females are libertated and equal. The online world is rapidly proving that we are a very sexist society. Without faces, pictures or curves the internet is very indicative of our offline behavior, individually and collectively.

Women want to be seen as equal to their male counter parts. If this is going to happen women need to think more powerfully and then they will communicate in written form more effectively. The belief that men are more powerful and dominating has managed to be perpetuated in a community where the sex of the typist could be anonymous. It isn't though because women will betray their sensitive nature in writing and men will cut to the chase and speak his own manguage.

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Comments 108 comments

Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago

Now you've got me thinking!! I might have a language of my own too.At time hilarious and complex enough, since we are us the Lords... and I'm myself as in Joseph. I might speak manguage at times and not even notice it. It really depends on each of us, add moods and full moon moments! Thanks for Sharing Kelly!

LORD


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Lord! You have a great pioint about developing your own style and language! You have taken on a whole nother person as in - there is at least two or three of you (Father, Son & Holy Spirit;) lol lol. You've got the power!

It is interesting though I think....even in writing men and women will give ques as to their personal natures. Men are short and to the point and girls like to go messing around making language all pretty:)


Millionaire Tips profile image

Millionaire Tips 4 years ago from USA

I have to stop the urge to begin every sentence with "I think" when I write not just because it is a female trait but also because it is very wimpy writing. I have to be more aggressive. I think one of the reasons that HP wanted us to get rid of the banners is that the females wanted to decorate their hubs with them, and it doesn't look very masculine.

Okay, I noticed that I started with "I think" right after I said I avoided them. Sigh.


barryrutherford profile image

barryrutherford 4 years ago from Queensland Australia

"WANTED" Woman to perform home duties. Must be able gut and cook Fish. Please provide picture of Boat.


debbie roberts profile image

debbie roberts 4 years ago from Greece

Men and women handle and approach things in different ways in the flesh, so what you write in your hub does make sense, although the thought probably would never have occurred to me before.

You've started something now...I can see that I'll be comparing the writings of men to that of women just out of interest...

An interesting hub and thank you for sharing your observations....


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Men do think differently than woman do or so I've been told so many times, by men of course. I guess it only stands to reason that the way in which they write would also be different. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca

Oh... I love this... especially the title of manguage... which I just had to erase and respell because appparently my spelling is atrocious for made up words! LOL

So out of curiousity, I went to google adwords and put in "I wonder if" and did you know it is searched globably about 135,000 times a month. That is pretty amazing. I wonder if it is all women that are hitting the search button for that one!

Once again... great article... gonna share share share until I am blue in the face!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey MillionaireTips - I just realized - I do that too! I also read that ladies use the word "I" a whole bunch:) I over use - punctuation and emoticons. I often rewrite my cmments just so I can erase the many :) and !!!!

Thank you - I think I'm gonna work on my man speak too:)))))


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Barry - yep I know what you mean! :-). :-) haha!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Debbie - I only thought of it because I was chatting with my male friend and I always notice he seems to use (.) more frequently and it struck me as funny. Then I thought - I bet many men do not use very many !!! Or :-) like women do. I asked my husband ifhe had ever used an emoticon and he said "what it that?" haha! Figures!

I wonder if..... Haha! Thanks so much:)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Susan - Dave tells me that all the time. So funny - he uses email way more than I do - maybe? And he had no idea what an emoticon was. When I explained it he thought itnwas a stupid thing to have! Haha! He said "and NO! I have never used a smiley or a frown face ever!" like he was disgusted or something....I just don't get it! LOL


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

BBG- I was so excited and thought I'd made up a new word - I googled it and people are already using it for the same idea! Robbers!

Hey smart woman - didn't even think about checking it on keyword tools!! You are a clever lady! Maybe the military gave you a little more masculin brain! Haha! I am now going to add it to my tag! Thank you SO much - I thought you would like this one:). Tell Eli da man I said "hey how's it goin, man?"


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Men are different in the way they walk and talk, that's for sure. Writers are taught to try to write in an 'action' voice. Use action verbs, don't write in a passive mode. Difficult for women to do.


mythicalstorm273 profile image

mythicalstorm273 4 years ago

This is so funny and perfect and true! I once watched a video of Mark Gungor about mens' brain and women's brain... it is so funny and your hub just reminded me of it! You should youtube it... I think you would enjoy it :-) Anyways... Your hub was wonderful and so excellent! lol. I'm going to be thinking about this all day now ;-)


noturningback profile image

noturningback 4 years ago from Edgewater, MD. USA

Men just want to hear what others have to say and not play guess that answer.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Austin - I read that! That is so funny. I wondered if (haha) ladies depict their personalities in print. Since we are all taught the English language the same way and are supposed to follow the same rules for conformity's sake? I was betting we still offer tells about ourselves in print. I thought it was funny! lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi myth - so funny - I watched this one video and would have included it but it was 10 minutes long...a little too long for me:) lol It showed though that females use both parts of their brains when they communicate and talk. Men only use one half of the brain! No matter how I tried to write that - it seemed sexist on my part so maybe that is a whole nother hub:) haha!

Thank you so much - I am going to check out Mark's video now I am so curious:)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi noturningback - I bet you are right. Men just want to get to the point - no dressing things up or using pretty adjectives! When I explained to my husband what an emoticon is - I swear he looked truly disgusted! LOL


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca

When I see Eli next week... I will say How's it going! LOL. And I have to agree with you, the military background probably mascalinizes us women. Then again... I have always been somewhat of a tom boy so I am not sure if it was all military or if it was just me. However, I do have a complete obsession with emoticons... and my punctuation skills are attrocious because I love the ellipses because I think it "decorates" the writing... Ha ha... man I need to go get something done!


Cagsil profile image

Cagsil 4 years ago from USA or America

Hey RealHousewife, this is definitely an interesting and useful read. Like I have said in the past and maybe people will now believe me when I say, I learn from people when they write anything online, in forum posts or anything at all. It isn't difficult to tell the difference between men and women with regards to writing, as you pointed out. I guess I didn't learn much from your hub considering it's something I have been discerning all along. LOL! I did get a laugh from it, so that's why I voted it up! :)


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

YOU DID IT!! I love it!! Barry's comment cracks me up... Is that my husband in disguise??? LOL Kelly, you make so many good points. I am going to link this to my "What Men Should Know About Women" hub!! Great information! Votes and shares!! :-)


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 4 years ago from Arlington, TX

RHW -If you've never read "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" by Dr. Gray, I highly recommend it.

Great Hub in Frog Speak.

The Frog


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

Interesting subject, Kelly, about the differences between male and female language. When I taught 'Assertive Behavior,' I often used this example. When dining with a group of people, a man might say, "Pass the salt." A woman more frequently would say (before Assertive Behavior training): "Is the salt down there at the end of the table?"

Thanks for this fascinating choice of subject.


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada

Kelly...

Very interesting premise and it makes sense considering men and women seem incapable of communication without having communication differences. Weird that considering...we only have each other to talk to. What the hell God?

So what about those of us who abuse the ellipse??

Thanks,

Thomas


BRIAN SLATER profile image

BRIAN SLATER 4 years ago from Nottingham Uk

Hey Real, men just know how to say it with no frills, I mean no BS lol ha-ha voted up and shared.


marwan asmar profile image

marwan asmar 4 years ago from Amman, Jordan

Very nice piece, and one that makes you sit up and read. The differences between males and females are interesting, and I think a lot more research is needed to draw out trends and themes, like what you have just did.


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

Delicious food for thought. I find men online are much quicker to name-call and belittle opposing thought. Feeds into the want to win trend (I wonder). I expect to hear much more on this subject. If this hits the talk show circuit, we'll know where it came from!


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 4 years ago from Toronto, Canada

When I started reading, I thought "Manguage? What the hell is it?" It is an interesting concept, but I would assume that the way we speak is truly the way we are, the way we express ourselves.

Language always reflect nationality (let's say if you compare this English or that English or English as a second/third language), language reflects age, generation, epoch - that is for sure...

not to drown in the language of my own - unique, no doubt, female, no doubt,

language is a portrait of a person, a unique portrait.

Both genders can imitate each other and, frankly, can learn to play the role of each other -

the clips were funny - why men and women will never be the same, but being the SAME is not the goal - never

FINDING A VOICE - for a person, for a speaker, for a writer - that is the goal and the less common denominators are there, the more unique it is.

I hope.

An interesting topic, especially for the languages lovers, I meant, writers.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

BBG - Really - I should have said, "if you happen to bump into Eli"....haha. I kept thinking that in many ways my behavior is manly as a typist but my femine side always gives me away with the :) and the !!! statements. I notice females will tend to show excitement and the more excited they are the more !!!!!!!!!!!!!! you see!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Cagsil - thank you so much!!!!!!!! lol I am sorry you couldn't learn anything new here....but at least you got a laugh! I learned something just from your comment!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Susan! Ahhh I wish I would have thought of that myself! I was again, having trouble finding hubs to link. Recipe hubs are much easier for that! lol

Yeah - Barry's comment had me laughing through my morning haze! I did not have to read that one twice, I heard him loud and clear! haha!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Frog - I have heard of that book but I admit, I never read it. I have heard people say really good things before but since you recommend it now I am really interested - I am gonna check it out! Thanks for that too!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Drbj - WOA - Man - I missed the boat! I was really having troubling finding articles to link and I even thought I should check your site out - now that is a perfect link! I am going to add it now though:)))) lol I really don't like the look of a hub with no links in it and sometimes if I search hubs for links it is hard to chose a criteria sometimes that matches what I am looking for.

I do think women need to be more agressive in the written approach too. I was thinking that maybe it does not seem important to some people at the moment but what if you were emailing a head hunter for a job and they chose based on reflections of your email voice? Then it probably matters how well you look in writing!

Thanks so much for - everything!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thomas - it is a dirty trick isn't it? lol Yes if we said roughly half of the population is male and the other half female - we have an immediate division of people. Apparently it transfers to writing too! Interesting from a writers perspective and "I wonder if...." men that are writers use more ellipses and emoticons? I know all the guys like you that I interact with do occasionally use that stuff and I know you certainly know how to - but most men won't choose to. Hmmmm. Okay now I have shared more useless information with you! lol

Thomas read the link up there - the assignment if you have time it is hysterical and I read it to Dave and he was laughing hysterically. That was funny!

Look how you said that --- you said "what about those of us who ABUSE the ellipse??" ok good choice of the strong and powerful word ABUSE....ha! What? Are you molesting them? HAHAHAHAHA


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Brian - thank you so much! And you are exactly right. Men, in writing just like in conversation, say what they mean and no more. Turns out ladies like to talk about everything and hash and rehash. Guys don't talk for that reason. They talk to resolve or offer a solution. They apparently don't like to confide a problem to anyone unless they are desperate and looking for answers. They don't like to just discuss stuff to see how other people feel about it:) haha! Also - they say when guys disagree they don't care - they note it as a disagreement and go buy each other a beer. They don't reflect on it and get more mad and need to talk about it until they agree:) ha! I guess guys are really good at agreeing to disagree and ladies not so much, huh?


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi marwan - thank you so much! I really appreciate that! I was interested in it and it was just a random thought that kind of grew:) lol Being online a lot and writing maybe makes it a little more interesting to me maybe? Sometimes I catch myself hub hopping and the hubname may be unisex and I will find myself wondering if a male or female wrote the piece. Most often you can click on the profile and find out...not always...but sometimes I am shocked because I was sure it sounded "male" or "female". Androgyenous writers!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Kathleen - I wish I had been the original thinker of that term - I thought I was - but when I googled it a few articles came up! Now, those articles were talking about the connection between the word "man" and all the things that are being related to it such as "murse" or "mirdle" and also "meals" (high heals for men!) lol But still - I think it will be trending! It just goes together with the thought of men and language!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Kallini2010 - Thank you SO much! I am so excited you read this! I have read some of your beautiful work!!!! I have to say - you really are a dynamite writer so I am thrilled that you have read something of mine!

Before I started the research I knew that as writers we simply must tell on ourselves as far as what our true personalities are. I think if we think with feminine tones that will show up througout our writing because it is who we are. The person typing and the message that is coming from our brains. I thought surely, there must be direct evidence this is true.

I do think that we can take on more masculine or femine traits in the writing too and I often am seen as having masculine traits (even as a child) so I wondered if I am obvious in my own writing. It is:) lol

You are so write and right! Thank you again - you made my day!


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada

Kelly...

(Laughing) (drooling) (wiping away snot) (laughing some more) ...yeah...I'm glad you sent me back to read the assignment. Good stuff! I have to say...there is NOTHING more boring than a story that starts with tea.

Thanks,

Thomas

PS...in terms of my use of the ellipse...yes...I molest them and use them badly. Still...I use them better than commas!


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 4 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Thank you, RealHousewife, for your compliments, frankly, it was the last thing I expected. A dynamite writer?

Surely, you belong to the Elite on HubPages, I was wondering what the qualifications are.

As far as being masculine and/or feminine - sometimes my radar is fairly off..

I remember one occurrence when I had a conversation in a ladies washroom with my friend.

Note:

Ladies' is the great place to have honest conversations.

I was lamenting me being too masculine and I was expressing a wish to be more feminine like my friend. She surprised me with the same sentiment - she thought I was more feminine than her and wanted to be like me.

After that moment I decided that we don't really see the reality. We perceive and we create reality - and in our creating process - words are essential -

the way we sound - the way we "paint" ourselves and others with labels - feminine, masculine - these two just a fraction.

So, your choice of the word "dynamite writer" made me jump in my seat. Immediately I felt more masculine and determined to throw a couple of writing grenades at the world...

Why not?

So, thank you very much for your compliment again and I can honestly say that you made my day as well.

Now, "on to the literary barricades!!!"


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

TS - I read that to Dave and he was dying laughing! Lol. He liked the guy part best - especially that first paragraph! I do have to admit - I thought he was hilarious! He had a point about the tea too! Haha!

I do think the ellipses are more attractive than a comma....that's boring....I bet you get really excited about the ; ; ;-) lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

The Elite group - oohhh I can't wait until they change that controversial name:) it has baggage:) LOL. All you have to do is have a hub score of like 75? 80? And no violations in the last six months. I actually thought they would never allow ME to be one....but morbid curiosity sent me running off to try! Haha! No one was more surprised than me that I made it!

I'm weird like that. I admit it. I recently got an invite to the local country club....I really wanted to call them and say why? What just qualified me to be in your little club? I don't play golf and I don't square dance at all! Lol. Morbid curiosity!

You just made me realize yes - dynamite is a strong powerful word! It came naturally to my mind when I thought about you!


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK

Very interesting hub. Though since at least one person (or possibly 2) have left comments indicating that they think I am a man, I’m not sure what that means about my writing! (Or maybe it says more about them, since everyone else has worked it out.) Have you read “Man Made Language” by Dale Spender? I read it years ago and it is very interesting…!!/,:;*!…


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Melovy - thank you! That's funny - I think it says more about the reader because they do the interpretation in their mind. I also think it could mean that you are a powerful writer! You teach, right? So because I have read your work I think it's really professional. I could see that being the reason. Also - maybe your avatar throws people and they just assume but I always knew you were one of us:) haha!


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 4 years ago from Toronto, Canada

I would say - enjoy being the Elite - it brings upper class connotations, whether it is true or not, it is not really important.

The important thing to me is to be myself, and me - myself has as many reflections as there are readers.

So, be it - Elite.

It is a word, does not change your essence...

Whatever you are, whatever you wish to be.

Just be.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Kallini - good advice and thank you:) I don't know if I have any other choice. I wish I had one of those brain filters sometimes that everyone else seemed to get. I am very compulsive in thought and I do notice it when I type too which is just natural because it is what I am thinking. No buffer zone! I have been trying lately to be more thoughtful! haha!


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland

Haha this was an interesting read and it made me think of the text messages I share back and forth with my husband and the ones I share back and forth with my girl friends. I SEE what you are saying. The proof is still sitting in my phone! My husband speaks manguage and I do not :( No wonder we always bicker after texting :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Ardie! I think it's so funny! Daves texts are almost non existent...zero punctuation and refusal to emoticon! Guys really do write - like guys. I believe they had the exact same English classes as us girls with the same rules ingrained for at least 13 years? Still we see huge differences in man/woman writing.

My friends read this and totally admit that they do want their letters or emails to be pretty! Lol. They all use emoticons and especially exclamation points when their are bursting with excitement over a sale or some such affair. Haha!


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

Hi RHW,

This hub speaks volumes between men and women and I would first like to commend you on writing such a "difficult" topic :))

I agree that if one woman disagrees she is isolated and it's different in the case of men.

Men and women speak different languages and understand it differently. Classic example is the progresso soup ad where the woman calls and says that she has fitted into her jeans and the guy on the other end keeps saying, "ok" to which the lady finally says that she needs to speak to a woman...lol

voted way up girl!


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 4 years ago from North Carolina

Enjoyable write and subject Kelly; and pretty much true. There are some exceptions to the rule as HP can demonstrate. And Kelly my friend, if you ever catch me starting a sentence with "I wonder if..." please give me a virtual slap on the head!


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago

Your article is fabulous. I enjoyed reading it. I see much truth in what you wrote. Thank you for the good read.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Mr. Watkins! Thank you very much! I appreciate that!


Daffy Duck profile image

Daffy Duck 4 years ago from Cornelius, Oregon

Manguage? Sounds like something I pooped out this morning. LOL. How's that for Manguage REALHousewife? :)

This was interesting to read.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Daffy! That sounds like a good bit of manguage! Lol. Thank you - and stay regular! Haha!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

Thank you, Kelly, I will return the favor and link to 'Manguage' in my Assertive Behavior hub. And you are absolutely on the mark. Our written language can give us away almost as easily as our verbal language.

For example: women use emoticons like :), etc. and 'lol' expressions much more frequently then men.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Drbj - thanks! I wondered about the use of emoticons and :)!!!!! LOL. I asked a few guys if they used them - all said NO! Too funny - it does seem really girly though! Thanks for the link! You're so awesome!!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

Funny stuff and so true how we could tell the difference between a male and female from their punctuation and emoticons! Some aren't as easy to figure out, but eventually it starts to click. UP and awesome!!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi sunshine - thank you! I do think it's funny how the girls think pretty:) lol all the ladies want to dress everything up - wallpapers, emoticons, and how we show excitement with the !!! I swear so etimes when I'm reading a hub I can tel the sex of the writer by those little ques! Thanks so much for the comments and votes!!!! Lol


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Women talk to work things out in their own minds. Men who are smart, simply listen and nod their heads, never offering a solution, because women aren't looking for a solution. They simply want us to listen.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Will I agree with you 100 percent. Especially the "smart men listen" part! Lol lots of times I will be talking to my husband and after I've said my piece he will just say nothing! Nothing! Lol. Then I will say well? And he will look at me and say "well what?". Then I say well didn't you hear me? He will say yes but I have no comments! Hahaha!

I think he just likes to hear stuff but he really doesn't have much to add! Thanks so much - I'll cut him some slack now:)


Debby Bruck profile image

Debby Bruck 4 years ago

Hello Dear Kelly ~ I give you credit for writing this article and your great style and video selections. I'm thinking men think with certain parts of their body and if you give them a 'manwich' they are happy as a clam. That's like all I have to say about that and a box of chocolates. Love, Debby


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada

Oh...I think about chocolate too...


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

And coffeeeeee.....strong coffee!


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago

hahaha!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Too funny Debby - hilarious! I already responded to this comment and I don't know where it went? Just noticed it's just gone? New fangled buttons!

Thanks so much - I do agree - men think with their lower parts, like the belly and uh huh, ! Lol lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Lord your lucky - you must have three, maybe four thinkers? Hahaha!


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

This is highly creative. I think you have unleashed your gift. Congratulations on having a hub of the week. Excellent!


Curiad profile image

Curiad 4 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

Is it possible that in spirit we are all the same, and the differences between Women and Men in the physical world is intentional?

I believe that God made us this way so that we can all learn from each other.


tsmog profile image

tsmog 4 years ago from Escondido, CA

I'll have to get back to you on this :c)


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Kelly.....Excellent hub! Truer words have never been spoken by man or woman. The differences between the sexes are so vast and varied, we could write about them forever. And you know what? We could ALL read them, study them in depth, and do an assignment.....after which, every "difference" would remain and that's THAT.

Will Starr is one smart guy....OR, he's taken the time to really LISTEN to his woman, because the fact is, "Women don't want a solution, we just want someone to "listen." Up +++


sen.sush23 profile image

sen.sush23 4 years ago from Kolkata, India

We all practically notice these differences, and get frustrated. But then we learn to get across the gap - in a manner. To put it down in an analytical manner, and an entertaining form, was wonderful. Voted up and sharing.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Wow Tammy - are you serious? I don't know anything about that! haha! You are a doll! Thank you so much!!! I have to check that out!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Now that is a deep thought Curiad. My first thoughts are that mostly we are divided immediately from birth. As soon as daddy starts smoking the "It's a boy cigar" or the pink ribbon is pasted on the little girls head for photo #1:) Thanks for the interesting thought - I do believe we all should learn from each other:) lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Oh TS - just like a man! hahaha! Take your sweet time and thank you!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Effer! Thank you so much! I do agree with Will! He is smart and I bet you he has a happy lady by his side:)

I notice that in my relationship - I am the talker - Dave is the listener. I never shut up - he only uses necessary words. I can't even guess how many times I have heard the ladies say "he never communicates with me!" Yes he does! Just differently - it's not all out of the mouths with men...it might just be a little crooked smile that can say it all:) haha!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Sen.sush23 -- thank you so much. Very well put! We should not expect everyone to be exactly the same kind of "communicators" but if we are attentive - we can learn so much by the look in the eyes, a grimace, a sigh or a scowl. I think Guys say a lot too - the ladies just need to learn to read body language and stuff a little better:) lol lol


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Kelly....I guess mine is a weird situation, but my husband talks much more than I do. I believe it's "personality-type" related. He is super hyper, high-powered....I'm pretty even keel. The other possibility is....I don't need to say much to get my intentions across......LMAO!


tsmog profile image

tsmog 4 years ago from Escondido, CA

Hello RealHousewife. Getting back, just a tad-bit. Last night on my journey home from work I pondered this hub. I thought of argots. Those used by women, men, mixed company, children, old, and cultures.

Example of a time passed in my life, though sexist, causes a grin - speaking manguage. One long, haired bearded hippie, hot rodder character speaking to a friend in the grocery store. "How about those headlights, they're bright. That suspension system has a nice sway to it. Probably all show and no go. Should I ask for a test drive, maybe Fri night. I'll check out the tune-up in the checkout line."

Now the mystery and the question. Did he get the date or not? Manguage opens many doors of opportunity. Thank you for bringing this wonderful, enlightening :), friendly hub to us. Inspiring :p , , ,


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

LOL - you know my step father used to gossip like a girl! He would hang on the phone and my sisters and I would all tease him. He even had the phone pose: left hand to ear with phone...right arm tucked under left armpit...the nodding, laughter, uh huh's....too funny! We used to say you talk more than the three of us put together now hang up!

He had brothers and they all chatted like girls!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi tsmog - and thank you so much for your thoughful comment!

LOL LOL So tell me - did he get the date? Apparenlty the back porch swing was tantalizing? LOL You are so clever - love that comment!


tsmog profile image

tsmog 4 years ago from Escondido, CA

(grin) I like that country talk! Seriously a moment. This article is awesome. I have been over thinking my comments since reading it. I even tossed in some emotioncons along the way. Awareness is an adventure.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thanks TS - so I am not the only one who gives deep thought to these things that really are not silly if you are interested in decoding communication. I mean - we should know as hub writers - that it is easy to misinterpret comments alone by a simple misplaced punctuation or lack of emoticon...I can just imagine all those on line love affairs that could be crushed just because a poor dude lacks a little !!! or what if he forgets to smile? Or blow a kiss - do guys even know how to give a proper online show of his heart? Do they know what carrot + 3 can mean to a girl????? lol

Oh TS - you made me just think of another good hub topic - and I am gonna dedicate it to you!!! LOL LOL


Magicdust Staff profile image

Magicdust Staff 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

LOL - loved this, the Mars v Venus thing just never stops being interesting...


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Magicdust Staff - thanks so much! I can't help noticing the more things change - the more they stay the same! Lol


Debby Bruck profile image

Debby Bruck 4 years ago

Dear Kelly - I would like to congratulate you on your 100% profile rating. Quite an accomplishment and this blog ain't too shabby, too! All the best to you! Debby


sen.sush23 profile image

sen.sush23 4 years ago from Kolkata, India

BTW, there must be celebration, I think you hit 100 since I last visited your HubPage! :)


Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

Marcy Goodfleisch 4 years ago from Planet Earth

What a lesson in semantics and paradigm! Fun hub! I enjoyed every bit of it!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Thank you Debby - I just don't know how I got that 100:) lol. I think it's a fluke but shhhhh I'm flying under the radar with it as long as I can! Lol lol


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi sen.sush23 - that was wild! I don't know how I crept up to the 100 mark but beggars can't be choosy:) lol thanks so much!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey Marcy! There you are in the flesh! Lol. Thanks so much - I usually have crazy thoughts that lead me to crazy hubs!


xstatic profile image

xstatic 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

Hello Real,

I can really see your point from living in a world of manspeak. My daughter has called me a "metrosexual" laughingly, and I kinda think that is a good thing. I know I have evolved in many ways, but your thoughtful and humorous article will make me think about the way I write.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Right! Lol lol

Your girl sounds hilarious! I think it is a good thing to be metro:) best of both worlds right?

Thank you for the comment and the chuckle:)


tlpoague profile image

tlpoague 4 years ago from USA

HAHA! I loved it! This reminded me of a conversation I was trying to have with a certain male. I finally told him I needed a know-it-all-can-do-it-all-pill. Great hub!!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Tip! Thank you so much - you know - most of the ladies totally understand where I am coming from on this one! lol


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 4 years ago from United States

It sure seems to make sense that men's writing would be different from women's but I've never thought about it before. I think men are usually more direct and women tend to be more empathetic also. I really enjoyed this very interesting hub and I agree with you completely.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Pamela99 - well hey - I love anyone who says they agree with me - I hear it so very little around my house:) haha!

Pretty interesting...we are not totally invisible behind our screens...language has so many subtle meanings that I think people overlook from time to tome. I think it is really obvious how some people betray so much of their personality in type written words.

Thanks a lot for the read and comment!


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 4 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

Very interesting! A topic I never thought about. Now, looking back, I found my speaking voice only in college, an all women school. Earlier, in my co-ed high school, I was always more silent than not, and if a discussion became contentious would immediately stop participating. What an interesting insight you gave me into my younger self. Up and interesting.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi Sally's Trove - I sometimes get the weirdest thoughts! lol I always want to know "why" still about just about everything. I do think that the way we write - the words we choose and style says so much about us. You would think that words couldn't give away so much information including the sex of the writer as we do.

I always wonder if people know by my writing if I am a female or male? I have lots of male behavior according to friends and family so curious! Thanks very much!


xstatic profile image

xstatic 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

I missed this so came back to read, and it's Up all the way across. Made me wonder if there is any kind of count of Hubbers (how many men/women each). It seems that I read as many of one as the other, but generally I only read in the Lit. category. I do know that there are a number of strong women writers here (you for sure and Cardisa, and a number of others I read regularly.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey xstatic - you do always make me ecstatic! Lol. That would be an intersting statistic to know - I really do wonder how the men stack up vs the ladies on HP...now I'm thinking - so how can we find out? Lol.

Thanks so much for the awesome compliment - you're a splendific hubber (yes I made that up just for you!) lol


xstatic profile image

xstatic 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

I have no idea how we cam determine the numbers. It may be illegal for HP to even ask, but how can we? I thank you for your compliment too!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hi xtatic - hey I have an idea! I will ask some other hub people in a group setting and see what they think. Now I am curious...I bet someone has asked before? Lets see...!


HonestMach 4 years ago

Am I the only one whose manner of speech and communication patterns are adaptable, to an extent, depending on who I interact with? Like in academic writing, which I'm doing a lot of lately--it's kind of about being "confident" in your own "uncertainty", esp. in sciences...which are still male-dominated AFAIK--in any type of "formal" writing, though, I tend to end up w/ that style; & another one is who I'm actually talking to. Pretty sure when I talk to women I tend to talk more LIKE women... not so much in the sense I become "passive", I just sound a lot more like a human being and a little less like a scientist. LOL. It's not usually something I do consciously... mostly second nature. And I definitely use more emoticons online w/ girls... This might not be relevant...I'm straight. Quite.. unbendably so, lol!! so it does strike me as odd I'd have a tendency to communicate w/ women more naturally. And most of 'em don't take poorly to flirting.. then again I'm usually not seriously trying to get in their pants.. something I think most women are good at picking up on (creep factor ;) ) ... most don't seem to think I'm gay.. which brings me back to what's odd here..haha.

Most of my "miscommunication" w/ people probably isn't even gender-specific, really. So I don't know if I have "manly" language, I just try to be assertive (as opposed to those other 3. Cuz they scare me :) )


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Hey HonestMach - you have an interesting point there! I do think I change my speech patterns completely at times depending on who I am speaking with! I mean everything about my speech - like my tone, adjective and verbs and sentence structure. Weird! I do think everyone does to a degree - like I am not going to go into my doctor's office and say, "word! what's up homey?" haha I really might say that to a friend!

I guess it has to do with deference maybe? Interesting!

Thanks! Great comment!


Debby Bruck profile image

Debby Bruck 4 years ago

Hi Kelly - what an interesting conversation you've been developing here on your Manspeak Manguage Manwich Hub. Many curious minds about whether we give away our gender by the words we speak. Have super night, Debby


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Aw Hi Debby! GREAT to see you!

Isn't it true though - we do totally (and I just did) give away parts of our identities in type! I bet most guys wouldn't exactly say, "totally Debby!" haha The more I pay attention the more I notice it too. So glad to see you think it's interesting too! Food for thought, I guess!

You have a super night too - Dream Big!


HonestMach 4 years ago

lol, I once friended someone on Facebook--actually I invited her to friend me-- on youtube, we interacted a lot in comments on there and since Facebook came up in the topic I figured why not. I knew her for months on there but could never really figure out her gender, I kind of always assumed she was male. Maybe was wishful thinking because I've always been kind of peeved when whatever social situation I'm in I always end up surrounded by women. I used to be like "well if this is reflective of ME, what is it saying and how can it be anything good?" haha. We're supposed to think same-sex friendships/"bonding" is healthy... probably essential to "health", actually so it always just made me wonder...

anyway she ends up being like, "I added you, by the way I'm a girl" as if she expects people to be puzzled... when I said I assumed she was a guy she said she likes to "stay androgynous" on youtube. It's funny though b/c I think elsewhere, her actual writing style is more "male" than on youtube. Her comments were a big part of why I could never really tell for sure... it didn't seem to fit in with anything else. lol. I also once asked her about myself and she said she never really even thought about it.

It's interesting though, because usually when people do make assumptions (on the internet) about me they're right. Yet I guess some people never think to assume in the first place? I wonder if people have a tendency to just try harder (read, "way too hard" :P ) online b/c they fear people's assumptions being incorrect and reflecting on them... especially men. B/c I know I'd at least be somewhat weirded out if someone automatically assumed I was a woman. It's kind of like saying that someone's "essence" (whatever that means) is a certain way, because there's really nothing more concrete than that, that they can be judging on... but then again who cares? ..sorry, I'm a psych major! LOL.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO Author

Oh thanks HonestMach - interesting! You also brought up a real cool point - ! When I first started writing online - I made many many asuumptions without even thinking a thing about it. I would look at a name and jump to an immediate and (irrational!) conclusion about their gender. I made a few huge mistakes in judgement and was SO suprised to find out that one person or another who I had already labeled in my pea brain as a specific gender was the opposite! ha! So maybe I had been chatting with someone several times and their gender fate was sealed in my head forever - until! Surprise you see a photo or something....so strange now that you bring that up.

After I was surprised a few times (and nothing funny or major happened due to my mistaken assumptions - don't even think the people knew) but I did learn to question that and even if their persona is female or male - I still don't automatically assume it.

Online though - I do think it's fascinating that male and female figure into the equasion a lot....! It doesn't have to because it's only typing but we do portray so many bits of our personalites in print!

Thanks so much that perspecitve!

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