Stop being shy – Gain confidence


Shy girls, shy guys – Gain confidence

Being shy is not a horrible trait to have. However, it is also not one of the best things to be, especially if you want to pursue a more upbeat social life and venture into the business world. There are some people who are so shy that it interferes with the many aspects of life, they miss out on great opportunities and deprive themselves of experiencing all that is available to them. Some of these people lack the skills to socialize with others, whether it’s on a social or professional level the more they allow for this to continue the less confidence they will have to break free from it.

Below I have listed eight tips and ideas to help you stop being shy and gain confidence.

Things that can help with shyness. Begin with what and who you know

Become even more connected to the people you already know, like your friends and family. Make up real life scenarios and practice communicating. I remember doing this with my sister right before going on an interview or date, it was interesting and lots of fun and it also helped me tremendously with my own comfort level.

Don’t get down on yourself

Just because shyness hurts many in the social and business area, does not mean it will necessary hurt you. If you build confidence and courage you will learn how to get around your shyness and excel. Fake it till you make it and build a can do attitude. Moping around asking your self, why? Is not going to help you any, it is perfectly fine to be nervous; everyone gets nervous when trying to accomplish something new.

Go with the flow

Don’t include your self in activities and social functions you dislike just for the sake of being part of something, it will not be genuine. It will probably only seem like you are trying to hard. Involve yourself with people and things that interest you this will make it mush easier to help you with your shyness.

What do you like?

A great way to help you overcome your shyness is by getting involved in activities you have always been interested in. For example, if you always had an interest in kick boxing, than join a class where you can socialize with other classmates. Many cities offer free classes on a variety of interest, if you type in the words i.e.: free classes in Bedford, Illinois in your computer, chances are you will find a list of free or inexpensive events near you. Consider joining a book club or a theatre playhouse club. Volunteering for a local hospital, library or zoo can also help you venture out, meet new people, overcome your shyness while contributing to a good cause.

Maybe your sister, cousin or friend can help you

There is a pretty good chance that the people you already feel comfortable with, know plenty of other people and have a circle of friends of their own. Ask them to include you in some of their outgoings. Getting to know someone, that somebody you already know is friends with can also help you in breaking the shy cycle.

Make the first move

During a function or social engagement you will probably meet people who will give you there business cards, email addresses and telephone numbers. Do not always wait for them to make the first move. If you enjoyed their conversation and company, pick up the phone and call them or email them to build a relationship. If you still feel comfortable with the person, consider making plans to meet for coffee. This can work out for you in any three ways, 1- helps with overcoming your shyness, 2 – it can lead to a friendship or 3 – it can become a very good contact for business in the future.

Some will not like you

In this world you will meet people who like you and others who will not. You can say this is one of those things that make the world go round and it just wouldn't be normal if everyone you met liked you. So you must learn how not to get your feelings hurt to easily, if you do not appeal to others. Live and let live is an important motto to live by and that can be a bit difficult for shy people. Experiencing the harsh reality that there will be people you meet that will not like you, can set a once shy person back into their timid world. This is why learning how not to take things to personal is important. It is also important to understand that just because one person does not like you, does not mean you are not likable, it may very well be that they have issues or preferences of their own.

Go for it!

Seriously, sometimes you just have to do it. If it’s going to help you in a positive way, than risk looking a little silly. What do I mean by that? When you are in the market engage in the senseless conversations others are having over the produce counter. Can’t sing, but always liked karaoke, go for it! So what if you look a little silly. Not only will you have fun but, it will also improve your confidence, social skills and help you with your shyness.

Madison O'Sullivan



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Comments 31 comments

JannyC profile image

JannyC 6 years ago

Nice advice there and you deliver it so sweetly too. Makes you feel like yeah I can do it!


Madison22 profile image

Madison22 6 years ago from NYC Author

Thank you Janny, always a pleasure having you read my hub!


Ann Nonymous profile image

Ann Nonymous 6 years ago from Virginia

Really good hub, Madison and something a lot will be able to relate to! So good of you to be looking out for the quiet ones!


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US

uplifting hub, thank you, they are all good steps, I need this hub to always remind me, Maita


Madison22 profile image

Madison22 6 years ago from NYC Author

Ann, thank you! Anything I can do to help others makes me pleased.

PDH, a reminder of the things every now and then is good to keep us on the straight and narrow. Thank you Maita:)


hypnodude profile image

hypnodude 6 years ago from Italy

Many good advices, and the last picture is wonderful. I had the same problem which mostly disappeared following some of your advices, with age and after having followed a course in Public Speaking, which funnily turned out I'm enough good at. Your last two advices are the most important of all; after a while shyness for the great part disappears and what remains can be handled. Rated up. :)


Madison22 profile image

Madison22 6 years ago from NYC Author

I tell you hypnodude, it is always a pleasure having you comment on my hubs. You are indeed full of wisdom. I've decided to take a few writing classes in the next couple of months, I think when I'm done with those I am going to consider a public speaking class. Thank a bunch!


fishtiger58 profile image

fishtiger58 6 years ago from Momence, Illinois

My oldest son is quite shy, but seems to be getting a bit better now that he is out in the working world, thanks for the great read, and yes the balloon pic is outstanding.


Madison22 profile image

Madison22 6 years ago from NYC Author

My daughter too, ever since she went off to college. Thank you for the comment, Fishtiger!


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

You are so encouraging Madison. You will never need tip #7. =:)


Madison22 profile image

Madison22 6 years ago from NYC Author

Winsome, that is so very sweet. Thank you:-)


H.C Porter profile image

H.C Porter 6 years ago from Lone Star State

Wonderful Advice. Stay genuine, but try to open up to the world...

I do fine (shyness wise) until I am around more than 3 other people-then I back out of conversations and tend to smile, nod and observe. Which is actually an improvement over 5 years ago when I turned red if I had to call and order a pizza, lol...? Over coming being shy is definitely something that one would want to work on to help obtain certain degrees of success. Thanks for sharing :)


Madison22 profile image

Madison22 6 years ago from NYC Author

H.C thank you, I like that "stay genuine,but try to open up to the world" very nicely put. Thank you for reading and commenting:-)


Teresa Laurente profile image

Teresa Laurente 6 years ago from San Antonio, Texas, U.S.A.

Hello Madison, I know shyness is a disease one must cure. I for one suffers from it a whole lot of time. But, at least I am conscious and that is the beginning of the journey to change. More power to you.


Madison22 profile image

Madison22 6 years ago from NYC Author

I couldn't agree with you more. Thank you for your comment, Teresa!


russiangypsygirl profile image

russiangypsygirl 6 years ago

This has a lot of great advice. Nicely done!


Jared in Vegas 6 years ago

I was really shy, especially in high school, but then I got tired of getting screwed, so that helped.


Madison22 profile image

Madison22 6 years ago from NYC Author

Hi Jared, I'm sure it did. Glad you worked through it. Thank you so much for the comment.:-)


katiem2 profile image

katiem2 6 years ago from I'm outta here

Great advice for those of us shy folks, I found this very inspiring... Thanks, Peace:)


Sam 6 years ago

I read this and feel better because I know that there are others, but is it really that easy? I am in high school, have lots of friends, and am a part of teams and clubs, but I just cannot get over my shyness. When I get up in front of a class I freeze and get red. It's embarrasing. I just don't know what to do..I feel like I have tried everything.


Madison22 profile image

Madison22 6 years ago from NYC Author

Sam, so glad you stopped by and read my article. Being shy is one of the most difficult things to deal with but, if you are aware and willing to work at it, as it seems you are than it is possible to improve. Getting up in front of a crowd at any age can be hard for many people,I commend you in doing it. when I was in high school I would go through all cost in order to avoid standing in front of a class, which of course did not help any. You are on the right track to getting better with your shyness, like I mentioned it will not happen overnight but through persistence and consistency along with engaging in positive activities, which you seem to be doing already, it will eventually get much better.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 6 years ago

Nice hub Madison. I am a shy person myself, but am comfortable with the way I am. I wouldn't consider it a "disease" as one of the others described it. That's just an exaggeration!!

I don't think being shy can come in the way of success either. There are lots of shy people, like me, who can put on a face (a mask if you will) and carry out their work in the public domain.

I agree though that there may be people who may find it difficult to do the same and who may need a helping hand. You have some good tips for them, so I congratulate you for this well-written hub.

It would no doubt help a lot of folks out there, who are affected by their shyness at a personal level and as an extension to that, their professional life.


Madison22 profile image

Madison22 6 years ago from NYC Author

Thank you for the nice comment Shil! I agree with all that you said and I also do not think it is a disease. I appreciate you reading my article and giving feed back.


tanisha1992 6 years ago

dat was a gud one to try for myself.thanx


Madison22 profile image

Madison22 6 years ago from NYC Author

Tanisha, thank you! With hard work and perseverance, there is not anything you can not accomplish!


sherrylou57 profile image

sherrylou57 6 years ago from Riverside

I can relate to this hub. Thank you, Especially the singing, I am going for it. I wrote a song and I play the guitar, and I like to do it in my bedroom, and now I am going to sing it at my niece's wedding. I am going for it!!


Madison22 profile image

Madison22 6 years ago from NYC Author

Go for it! Sherrylou!


TheMonk profile image

TheMonk 5 years ago from Brazil

"Become even more connected to the people you already know, like your friends and family."

I can´t stress that enough. It is so important and people often overlook it.


Madison22 profile image

Madison22 5 years ago from NYC Author

Thank you, TheMonk!!


ahmed 4 years ago

i would get in f if i did not read your story i like to say thank you very much for all your tip


Madison22 profile image

Madison22 4 years ago from NYC Author

Thank you!

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