The Leader of the Illuminati and the Tunguska Event. How David Icke/Oink caused the1908 explosion in Siberia

Contents.


Some explanations for the Tunguska explosion and the real cause.



The Leader of the Illuminati attends the Wedding at Cana and what happens next.



The techniques of wormhole travel prove not to be an exact science.



The topic David Icke/Oink never talks about.


Thousands of trees flattened at Tunguska.

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Some explanations for the Tunguska explosion and the real cause.


The Tunguska event, which happened in 1908, is one of the most devastating explosions that ever occurred. Tens of thousands of trees were knocked flat in the wastes of Siberia. It's been calculated that if the massive cataclysm had just happened a little while later, cities in central Europe, such as Berlin, would have been totally destroyed. It is indeed fortunate, that whatever happened in Tunguska, didn't happen a few thousand miles west. Otherwise, we would be talking about one of the most devastating disasters that ever happened.


A lot has been written since 1908 about the great Siberian explosion. The most frequent solution advanced, is that it was an air-burst, caused by the explosion of a comet. Another more far out theory proclaims that the Tunguska explosion was caused by the disintegration of an alien spacecraft. To my knowledge, no wreckage of the said spacecraft has ever been found. I know of one super fruitcake author, who has dedicated a website to proving that it was the devil being thrown to Earth that caused the great explosion. This person has even trawled through the Bible, to find passages that backup his ludicrous assertions.


There are only two people who know exactly what happened over Tunguska in 1908. One of them is me, Christopher Anton, Professor of applied Taurean Faeces at the University of Medway, also President of the Ancient Society of Secret Historians, (the keeper of all the world’s great secrets) and the other one is the Leader of the Illuminati, David Icke/Oink, who actually precipitated the Tunguska event.






Wedding at Cana. David Icke/Oink is just out of shot.

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The Leader of the Illuminati attends the Wedding at Cana and what happens next.


Those of you, who have been following my revelations up to this, will be aware that the shell-suited egomaniac, David Icke/Oink is a shape shifting pig/human, with the ability to travel through time and space using a wormhole.



On one occasion he travelled to Cana in Galilee and gate-crashed the famous wedding. (The Illuminati Leader can never resist the opportunity to get his snout in a trough, especially if there is a free drink). Unfortunately, he got into a drinking contest with John the Baptist and between them they consumed the last of the wine. Anyone, who reads the Gospel according to St John, will know what happened next. Jesus got nagged by his mother, until He miraculously repaired the damage caused by his inebriated cousin and David Icke/Oink. People have often wondered why the wine ran out at the wedding in Cana. Now they are being told for the first time. Of course the wedding became a lot rowdier after that. Jesus, His mother and his grandmother, with her cousin, ended up staying the night in a Roman prison and Jesus got a black eye courtesy of John the Baptist. I have covered all that elsewhere though..



While the Saviour of The World was sharing a prison cell with a selection of drunk relations, David Icke/Oink was beginning to feel a little bit “under the weather”. His head was starting to spin. Drinking all that miraculous wine had not really been such a good idea. He had already got sick over the wedding cake. The Leader of the Illuminati just needed a corner where he could sleep. He crawled out of the wedding venue and into an alleyway at the back. There he just toppled over in the semi-darkness and he was snoring, within two minutes of his inebriated carcass hitting the ground.


Falling asleep was not a very sensible thing for him to do. When illuminati have 40 winks their bodies always slip out of the human form and back into pig. This is what happened to David Icke/Oink and he was just an ugly snoring pig when he got discovered by two Roman soldiers, who as it happened, were actually looking for a pig.


I have to make a digression, in order to explain briefly why the finding of a sleeping pig was so fortuitous for the two soldiers. Their legion had been ordered to Syria to put down a rebellion and they were about to leave in the morning. Romans were always asking their gods for favours of one sort or another and these two were no different from their fellows. They were both a bit apprehensive about the coming campaign. They wanted to ask the god of war, Mars, to protect them while they were fighting. Mars, being a very macho god, required an equally macho sacrifice. A couple of pigeons were not going to impress this demanding deity. The insult to his divinity, that this would cause, would almost guarantee their demise in the Syrian Desert. When they came across the huge ugly sleeping boar in the alleyway, they couldn't be more delighted. This pig would make the perfect sacrifice. The god would be pleased.


They quickly tied the front and rear trotters of the, still snoring, illuminati, together. They shoved two lances through the ropes and hoisted David Icke/Oink on their shoulders. They then started staggering, with their very heavy and very drunk burden, towards the camp of the Legion, which was about a mile beyond the boundaries of the town. There was a shrine to the god Mars in the camp. They hoped to offer up the pig there.


Of course the Leader of the Illuminati did not end up getting his throat slit by Roman soldiers. They didn't get to make their sacrifice. (Some might say it was a pity). On the way to the camp David Icke/Oink woke up. I doubt if anybody's hangover ever disappeared so quickly. Can you imagine how he felt? The last thing he could remember was pouring himself a big beaker full of the new wine. Now he found himself trussed up like a prize pig, (appropriate really, since he was one), being carried by two grunting legionaries to, he didn't know, what fate. His first reaction was to scream his head off. The surprise and shock, that he got, was nothing compared with what the Roman soldiers got when their sacrificial pig changed into a screaming shell suited madman. They dropped him on the road and ran, as if all the Demons from hell were chasing them. They didn't stop when they reached the camp either. For all I know, they may be running still.


As for the bold David, his first thought was to get to hell out of Palestine before something else happened. There is a special word, which he uses, to summon up a wormhole. I don't know what it is, so don't start pestering me about it. If I did know how to conjure up a wormhole I would be a very rich man. But I'm not, therefore, I can’t. But David Icke/Oink can and that's exactly what he did then. Because he was still drunk, he got the coordinates wrong, so instead of arriving back in 21st century Britain, he shot out of the other end of the wormhole over Siberia in the year 1908.


The techniques of wormhole travel prove not to be an exact science.


I need to explain something to you, about the technique used by illuminati to brake when emerging from a wormhole. Gas is exhaled from the rear end by these beings. (As super creatures, they all have super farts. The Leader of the Illuminati is especially gifted in this way. This may help to explain how he manages to spout so much bulls**t and talk through his a**e). You can tell if an illuminati materialises near you. There is always a popping noise and a smell like rotten eggs. The higher up the chain of command the individual is, the more rancid the smell. I think it was probably the effect of all the miraculous wine in his system that caused things to go wrong. It must have gone through a further transformation, while it was travelling through time and space. All I know for certain is, that in this case, when David Icke/Oink “let rip”, instead of the usual nauseous application of the brakes, there was an explosive evacuation of wine soaked gas in the order of 10–15 megatons of TNT. Thousands of trees were flattened and the noise of the hyper fart was heard over hundreds of miles away. Instead of coming to a stop, the super befuddled traveller was blown back up his own wormhole. He was left bouncing about in time and space, until eventually he sobered up and was able to return to his own time, a sorrier, but not a wiser pig/human.


David Icke/Oink. Ask him about the wedding.

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Possibily the weirdest book ever. Readers love it though

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The topic David Icke/Oink never talks about.


Well that is the true story behind the famous Tunguska Event. You are reading the full detailed account here for the first time. Needless to say, the main protagonist has never referred publicly to his role in the affair. It's probably too embarrassing for him to admit to this idiocy. (It doesn't stop him, mind you, assaulting the ears of the public with other absurdities). Perhaps, the next time David Icke/Oink is holding a public meeting, somebody should question him about his role in this whole affair. It might be a good point to bring up in the comments section of one of his websites. I would love to know how the Leader of the Illuminati would answer.


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