10 Reasons Why I Would Love to Have Steve Martin as My Next-Door Neighbor

Steve Martin with  the Smothers Brothers  Jan 13, 1988.
Steve Martin with the Smothers Brothers Jan 13, 1988. | Source

Coming clean

There are certain things that I know for sure in this present life. I know that I will never be famous. I also know that I will never meet Ava Gardner, the "brunette bombshell," who "Ol' Blue Eyes," Frank Sinatra let slip through his fingers. But the one thing I would stake my farm and acreage on, if I had one, and win huge, is I will never walk the Sunset Strip in Hollywood.

I said all of that to say this. I still have a few dreams left to come true. Even at my age, which shall not be revealed, I still have "that" one dream that I would love to see birthed into a reality.

Steve Martin loves doing funny antics.
Steve Martin loves doing funny antics. | Source

Anyone want to take a guess?

No, it is not taking Jessica Alba to dinner. And my wife not being upset with that event. Honestly, I would love to take Jennifer Love Hewitt to dinner at a Red Robin Restaurant if we had one in my hometown. My dream that I still nurture is . . .

10 Reasons Why I

Would Love to

Have Steve Martin

as My Next-Door Neighbor

This routine, among many, helped to make Steve Martin a household name.

Considering all of Steve Martin's talents, which one is your favorite?

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Steve ironing a cat, one of his many abstract comedy ideas.
Steve ironing a cat, one of his many abstract comedy ideas. | Source
Steve with Bernedette Peters, stars of  "The Jerk."
Steve with Bernedette Peters, stars of "The Jerk." | Source
Martin holds "human brain," to promote his film, "The Man With Two Brains."
Martin holds "human brain," to promote his film, "The Man With Two Brains." | Source
Steve's mug shot in his early days as a stand-up comedian.
Steve's mug shot in his early days as a stand-up comedian. | Source

10.) Spontaneous Musical Interludes - - I strum the guitar a little and Steve Martin is an accomplished banjo player. So in his free time he and I could get in some good, down-home music. Like the music that he and a cast of talented musicians joined banjo legend, Earl Scruggs, on a video entitled, "The Foggy Mountain Breakdown."

9.) Comedy Reflections - - Steve and I could sit and sip our coffee and talk about what is like (for him) to be a famous comedian. I bet you that he would feel sorry for me never "taking a shot" at leaving everything and everyone behind and making my mark as a stand-up comedian.

8.) Man Talk - - would surely become one of our favorite past times. I have always wanted to ask Steve Martin about his relationship with Bernadette Peters who was so adorable in "The Jerk."

7.) Creative Hub Ideas - - would also be a sure thing when I would ask Steve Martin to pretend he is a member of HubPages and with each story he writes, he gets that much closer to a pay-out. I would stake my imaginary farm and acreage again and win huge at the great hub ideas he would give me.

6.) Secrets Shared - - although Steve Martin is a famous person and has been a huge success in comedy, film, theater, music and writing, he is a human like I am. So he must have a few secrets stashed away that he would just love to share with an average guy like me.

5.) Film Secrets - - have always been one of my favorite things to research on the internet. But since Steve Martin is now my next-door neighbor, I can pop in at his house and ask him what secrets he has about his famous films, "The Jerk," "The Man With Two Brains," and "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid." Of course I would promise him that none of his secrets would appear on HubPages.

4.) King Tut - - has always been my favorite bit that Martin has done on stage. But I would love to get him to talk about where or whom did the idea of King Tut originate. I would not be surprised at his answer being what I have thought all of these years about who inspired him to do a comedy routine about Egypt's most-famous king.

3.) Steve, The Magician - - yes, Steve Martin is a very good magician. I witnessed him do a few slick magic tricks on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson years ago. Since I have been a good neighbor in mowing his lawn, taking him doughnuts and coffee that he might teach me how to make an egg vanish from my hand.

2.) Favorite Foods - - would certainly crop up in one of our long conversations. I would just ask him, if he were comfortable, to share a list of his favorite foods. Then we would talk in length about my having to stay on the "Mediterranean Diet" for the remainder of my natural life.

1.) A Favor To Ask - - of my good neighbor, Steve Martin. And I am sure that he would be glad to accommodate me if I were to ask him to . . .

Take me to Sunset Strip, meet Jessica Alba and then arrange a dinner date with me and Jennifer Love Hewitt.

"What are neighbors for?" he would reply.

Such a nice guy.

Steve Martin trying hard to appear serious.
Steve Martin trying hard to appear serious. | Source

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Comments 2 comments

MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 8 months ago

I'm sure Steve Martin would be a good neighbor and you would get your date with Jennifer Love Hewitt. Like the rest of us, Steve Martin has grown old. I still wouldn't mind having dinner with him though. I guess you and I can sit and do some wishful thinking. Good thoughts, Kenneth, it was a fun hub.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 8 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Seriously, my Dear MizBejabbers,

I love your wit, charming comments (as this one is), and just knowing that I have Followers who are Really Great Friends. I Love All of My Followers. This is what I want to confess: This morning I drained every penny out of my PayPal account in order to pay the I.R.S. what the Fed's say that they over-paid my wife's hospital insurance. Well, hello, ObamaCare.

Now I am on the lowest rung of the ladder wondering if I can start all over and write until I let another amount build up?

Or should I just sit around, build birdhouses and maybe redo some of my older hubs in hopes that "they" will make me some money.

I apologize for the ranting. But I am not really ranting.

Just leaning on you, my Dear MizBejabbers.

Please advise me on what to do.

Love,

Kenneth

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