A Guide To Shows And films Hollywood Has Ruined By Redoing Them
Below is a list of Films/Shows, most of the 1980s that in my opinion have been ruined by hollywood. For me the 2000s in film will go down as the decade of the most ridiculous remakes and horrible prequels. I do hope as we enter the 2010s that prequels will end and true original film makers are able to make their mark. Although I feel more and more as time goes on that it may just be a pipe dream.
Transformers
This one really, really bothers me, why you ask because it is doing massive sales at the box office. To me growing up in the 1980s transformers was part of my childhood it was a sacred thing. I had to stop watching the series after Transformers 2. To see it on the big screen with raunchy dialogue, dressed up with special effects as nothing more than a career vehicle for Shia Lebouf and a chance for Megan Fox to show off her body to the camera, well lets just say it is enough to make me lose my lunch. I mean this was a kids cartoon it shouldn't be getting the PG-13 rating.
I took my daughter to see it thinking it would be a great family outing only to be embarassed and ashamed for taking her to see it. Yet another piece of my childhood reduced to cannon fodder just to make some more money. I suppose with the massive amount of money involved it is just greed that drives the makers of this film more than a genuine want to look back and remember something that was cool about the 1980s. All I can say is revenge of the fallen deserved all 3 Razzie awards it won.
Smurfs
Okay so we knew smurfs were a little silly during the 1980s, they were supposed to be they were cartoons for kids. But in the artistic wasteland of the 2000s they decided to recycle them as well making them not just silly but a bunch little blue morons. But then there was no real way to shamelessly harvest another 80s cartoon either way so might as well hollow it as much as possible right?
Much in the same way as Brainy used to get too arrogant and get clocked sending him flying to the edge of the village so should the directors.
Most Recent Superhero Films
The list would be much too long if I were to list each individual film so I just have to lump them all together. Comic books were a big part of my life as a kid. As silly as it seems they were a big inspiration for me to become a writer as the plots of the comics were so interesting. They were ongoing so they didn't have to lose detail like a film trying to cram to much into 2 hours and diluting things that are very important.
That is one of the main problems with most of these films. If that wasn't bad enough the makers of a lot of the films decided to warp and change the story lines, reduce characters that were very important, change events around to suit what they thought would drive the most money into their pockets and capture the mainstream audience attention. Many of the films awarded more screen time to those actors and actresses that were big names or becoming bigger names while phasing out actors that were not as popular even though they played characters that were equally important to the original story lines. Below are a few myths that I felt the need to dispel:
- wolverine isn't the leader of the X-men (despite what Hugh Jackman may believe).
- Superman did not have a child with Lois Lane.
- Spiderman would not dance a moronic jig (like Tobey Maguire did in Spiderman 3).
- Captain America was not frozen for 70 years, and with all due respect to the african american community Nick Fury was not a black man, if your not sure of this one you have about 50 years of comics to go look through.
- you can't prequel something that already has a back story as in X-men first class.
- Last but not least if you already released a superhero film for a character don't reboot it a few years later (the incredible hulk, spiderman) the public will just be confused if you rewrite history too often.
Yogi Bear
Much like the Smurfs we knew Yogi bear was silly but not ridiculous beyond belief. There is silly and then there is idiotic and that seems to be the way Hollywood wants to display most characters from the 1980s. But I'm sorry I just don't go along with that.
Alvin & The Chipmunks
Both the first one and horribly titled, "Squeekquel" both were bad movies as far as I'm concerned. Filled with so much cheese that all of Hollywood could stop by for a fondue party. With a running joke of Dave saying Alvin every 5 minutes throughout the movie and weaving in Pop/Rap/R&B songs that were completely uncharacteristic of the original just to make is seem like it belonged in the 2000s. This shows that you can't make a movie today without what is already popular getting their hands into it and messing it up.
Star Trek (2009)
That Leonard Nimoy would actually allow himself to be part of this film is the most ultimate of blasphemies against the legend that is Star Trek. First off Spock & Uhura did not have a romantic relationship, there was never anything like that in the original series that even hinted at anything like that. This is just bad writing and from someone that created such an awesome show as Fringe, Abrams should know better.
Another issue with the film I have is Kirk going from not even being part of star fleet to being in command of a starship by the end of the film? So they just give out honorary command positions? Anything we've seen in any of the Star Trek series, films or for that matter in real life military allows us to understand that in order to reach a command position one must spend years climbing the chain of command to be worthy.
Abrams has taken a legend with a rich tapestry of deep history spawning 5 TV series, 10 films, hundreds of novels, many comic books and thrown it away in the trash. As good as Fringe might be any time I think of this film it will always leave a bad taste in my mouth.
Check back again soon as I'm sure as I think of more abominations this list will continue to grow.