Grab Bag of One-Liners to Start Your New Year
Quotes are Quotable
-Start the day with a smile, you'll see how fun it is to go out of tune with the rest of humanity
- Drugs cause amnesia and something else that I can not remember.
- Intelligence chases me, but I am faster.
- If you are willing to lend a hand, you'll find it at the end of your arm.
- An Optimist is one who thinks he can solve a traffic jam by honking.
- A Smile is the second best thing you can do with your lips
- These days it takes much talent to commit original sin.
- We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then it gets worse.
- Time is the best teacher, unfortunately it kills all its students.
- There are three types of people: those who can count and those who do not.
Quotes Can Be Funny and Enlightening
- I heard you speak so well, I thought you were dead.
- He who is born poor and ugly that has great potential to grow is to develop both.
- Money does not bring happiness, but once the first leaves, the second follows.
- The important thing is not to win but to lose another.
- The problem of fair is that they are bribed by both parties.
- Women are the translations: If you are faithful, hard to be as beautiful and, if they are beautiful, hard to be so faithful.
- If you can not convince them, confuse them.
Quotes Can Never Be 'Original'
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding some, making a false diagnosis and then applying the wrong remedies.
- Love lasts as long as it lasts.
- Do not leave for tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
- Experience is the name we give to our blunders
-One thing is true-- that repeat offenders do not go changing ideas.
- Only the geniuses are modest.
- Flee the temptations, but slowly, so that they can catch up. .
- If you have a clear conscience, it is merely a symptom of a bad memory.
- The absolute truth does not exist and this is absolutely true.
- Work like you do not need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like nobody's watching.
- That each day is a rebirth, with new hope
- When you need to say something, your words are better than your silence.
- If you love something, set it free, if he returns to you is yours, if not--it never was.
- The important thing is not who has made us but what we do with what they have given us.
- Never take life too seriously. (You will not come out of it alive.)
- It is better to be silent and let them think you are an idiot than to speak and prove it.
- Some marriages end up well, others last a lifetime.
- Always remember you are unique ... Just like everyone else.
- Every man wants to be the first love of a woman, every woman wants to be the last love of a man.
- You have to work eight hours and sleep eight hours, but not at the same time.
- I do not suffer from insanity ... I enjoy every minute.
- No matter how often a married man changes jobs ... he always follows the same boss.
- Every 'last time' was the time before.
- The women who have 'no luck' with men does not know how lucky they are!
- How long can it be a minute depends which side of the bathroom door you are on.
- A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Only the geniuses are modest.
- Some students will just go to the racetrack and see that even the horses fail to finish their career.
- If money could talk to me it is saying goodbye!
- If you have nothing to do, please do not do here.
- If at first you do not do well, skydiving is not for you.
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