101 Ways to Kill a Zombie

Know Your Opponent

 In order to choose the correct weapon and method of killing you must first know what kind of zombie you are dealing with.  There are two basic classes of zombies the classic undead or re-animated dead corpse and the living zombie, a living person that has been turned into a mindless puppet through a spell or mixture of herbs.  Weapons and methods of killing that are effective againest living zombies may not be as eggective againest the undead zombie.  If you are unsure which kind of zombie you are dealing with it is best to assume it is an undead zombie and use a method suggested for them as all of these methods are effective againest living zombies.

 

Zombie

Illustator : JNL (Jean-nol Lafargue delinavit et uploadit)
Illustator : JNL (Jean-nol Lafargue delinavit et uploadit)

Living Zombie

A living zombie is actually a living person that has been put into a zombie like state by means of a spell or potion made of herbs and various other ingredients. If your zombie was created using a potion more than likely simply a matter of waiting until the potion wears off and preventing any further exoposure to the potion. If however the zombie was created through a spell it will require either a reversal of the spell (usually by the individual that originally cast the spell) or the actual killing of the zombie.

As this kind of zombie is in fact physically a normal living person they can be killed using any weapon or method that would be effective againest a living person. This can include stabbing with any manner of sharp objects, bludging with a wide variety of blunt objects, or shooting with one of the millions of projectile weapons including firearms.

It is easy to determine if the living zombie is in fact dead.  Because checking for a pulse or breathing requires close contact with the zombie it is highly suggested that you first administer a close range shot to the head.  This should ensure that the zombie is at the very least completely incapacitated.

Night of the Living Dead

Wikipedia.com public domain
Wikipedia.com public domain

Re-Animated Corpse

Made popular by George A. Romano's "Night of the Living Dead" released in 1968 and Dr. Frankestein's monster in Mary Shelley's novel "Frankenstein" originally published in the 1800's this class of zombie is still explored today in movies like "Zombieland". Electricity, nuclear waste, electric shock, or any number of volatile chemicals can cause the reanimation of a corpse. The most common way for large numbers of corpses to be re-animated at one time is a chemical spill of some sort or the dumping of hazardous chemicals in or near a cemetery. Eliminating this type of environmental hazard could prevent a large number of these incidents.

These zombies are much harder to deal with than the living zombies. Because they are already dead and yet have been re-animated a large number of methods are not effective against them. Depending on the condition of the body at the time of re-animation these zombies can be relatively slow moving and are usually without most of their mental functions except those needed for survival such as the endless search for food. This is good as it means a little more time to find necessary weapons and supplies.


Wikipedia.com public domain
Wikipedia.com public domain

The absolute best way to kill a re-animated corpse is decapitation. By disconnecting the brain from the rest of the body you will completely immobilize the entire body excluding the head. A good head shot can do a nice job, and like decapitation severs the brain body connection bringing activity to a halt. As you can see the key to killing these zombies is destroying or disconnecting the brain. Any method that results in the brain of the zombie no longer being able to communicate with and thus control the body should put an end to these pesky creatures. I can not stress enough the importance of completely destroying the corpse after killing or immobilizing the zombie. The safest and easiest way to accomplish this is to burn all affected corpses. This should be done at a proper crematorium to ensure prevention from chemicals or disease. It proper facilities are not available a large bonfire will suffice but must be watched at all times to maintain enough heat and flames to completely incinerate the corpses.

Steps must also be taken to prevent future corpses from being re-animated. It is best to remove all corpses from the affected area and to ban corpses from being brought into the area in the future. Any chemical spills or dumps need to be thoroughly cleaned up.


How to stay alive

While most forms of zombie-ism are not contagious it is very important to protect yourself from bites and scratches which can become infected quickly and severely.  All wounds need to be thoroughly cleaned and bandaged to protect from infection and to minimize the scent of fresh blood in the air.  Zombies are constantly in search for their favorite food source, the human brain.  Therefore they are extremely attracted to the smell of blood and other bodily fluids.  If you want to survive a zombie attack   you need to avoid sources of these smells as much as possible.

Putting good sturdy walls and doors between you and them will also help ensure your survival.  Contrary to popular belief most zombies do not have super-natural strength.  They are after all dead bodies.  Their slowed movements and average strength can make them easier to evade and hide from.  Most walls that can contain or keep out a normal human will detain a zombie.  This can give you time to re-group with other survivors and formulate a plan.

Avoid being alone whenever possible.  There is definitely safety in numbers.  More eyes and more hands mean more weapons and fewer surprises.  Being in a group greatly increases the chances for survival.

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