12 Reasons Why "I" Will Never Be as Gullible as Hulk Hogan

Looking back

When pro-wrestling fans gather to have coffee and yakk about wrestling, you can bet your best pair of jeans that the name Hulk Hogan is sure to surface. Actually, I can guarantee this event happening. (Do you like my impression of Joe Namath, cool quarterback, New York Jets, who 'guaranteed' the Jets to beat the highly-favored Baltimore Colts in Super Bowl III?) That was the last prophesying the Namath ever performed.

Hulk Hogan, or Terry Gene Bollea, has been a part of pro-wrestling for many years. I do not know if I can safely say that he is more of wrestler than he is a movie star because Hogan has made his mark in the film industry starring in (one of) the Rocky installments with Sly Stallone. Hogan has been World Heavyweight Champion six times in the then-WWF (World Wrestling Federation now World Wrestling Entertainment); the WCW, (World Championship Wrestling); and along with scripter, Eric Bischoff, set the wrestling world on it's backside by founding the nWo (New World Wrestling) and it was almost an instant point of hatred by loyal Hogan fans.

Muhammad Ali,  Liberace and "good" Hulk Hogan in 1985.
Muhammad Ali, Liberace and "good" Hulk Hogan in 1985. | Source

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Turning bad is not good

If you know one thing about pro-wrestling is that you have someone evil and someone good to balance out the entertainment. Let's face facts. A wrestling match with all good or all evil wrestlers would grow very boring. Quickly. So Bischoff and Hogan started the "evil" New World Order with ex-members of WCW, WWE, and any wrestler who was once seen as a good guy, who now wanted a taste of the "evil" side of this sport.

Hogan said in an interview years ago concerning him going over to the "dark side," "Personally, it was tough staring into the faces of the fans, mostly kids, who had supported me as the "good" Hulk Hogan, but wrestling like boxing, is a business and sometimes tough decisions are made in order for the organization you are under contract with, to make money."

Arrogant Hulk Hogan in photo made in 1997.
Arrogant Hulk Hogan in photo made in 1997. | Source

Skip ahead years later in 2016

Hulk Hogan, not in the ring, was enjoying a visit from his manager, Bubba, The Love Sponge Clem and his hot wife, Linda in Hogan's apartment for some chillin' and relaxing. As Hogan stated, "Bubba suggested that Linda and I pose for what I thought was a clean video, but I was duped. It was a filthy sex tape." (Bubba) Clem, being an opportunist, posted the video on Gawker and it instantly went viral as people in 2016 say.

Good Hulk Hogan  battles  Jesse,The Bod,y Ventura in this photo made in  1985,
Good Hulk Hogan battles Jesse,The Bod,y Ventura in this photo made in 1985, | Source
Heather Clem,  wife of  Bubba Love Sponge  head of Gawker.
Heather Clem, wife of Bubba Love Sponge head of Gawker. | Source
Hogan and a member of his defense team.
Hogan and a member of his defense team.
"Hollywood" Hulk Hogan in action as head of nWo.
"Hollywood" Hulk Hogan in action as head of nWo. | Source
Kevin "Big Sexy" Nash, right, with family at Hollywood outing.
Kevin "Big Sexy" Nash, right, with family at Hollywood outing. | Source

This just in . . .

  • As of Friday, March 18, a jury, after deliberating for more than six hours, awarded Hulk Hogan the stunning amount of $115 million dollars in his lawsuit against Bubba, The Love Sponge, Clem, and his wife, Linda, saying that the filming of Hogan and Bubba's wife and uploading it to YouTube was an invasion of Hogan's privacy.
  • After lawyer and court fees and other fees, it is now being reported that Hogan's take of the $115 million will be only $25 million

Poor guy!

Hogan was furious as well as hurt

Due to this action taken by Bubba Clem and fur began to fly along with legal briefs, calls to lawyers and lawsuits. And all the while, Hogan declared, "I did not know that the tape was going to be a pornographic tape!" Maybe he was right. Maybe not. God only knows. I don't want to know.

But what I do know is, here are

12 Reasons Why "I" Will Never Be as Gullible as Hulk Hogan


  • Have you seen me? (Notice photo of myself) What self-respecting woman would dare be seen with me in a porno film much less a "G" rated film.
  • I do not have the type of body that women love. (Again. See photo of myself).
  • The thought of me being in a porno film is down-right scary. Risky to be honest. Look what trouble Hulk Hogan brought on himself by not asking, "Linda, is this going to be a family-type film?"
  • People would think that me appearing in a porno film would be my attempt to produce a comedy feature.
  • Other people might get the idea that I am in such a film to get sympathy from people.
  • I do not like those dreadful costumes porn stars wear--tight, leather pants, masks, spikes, and chains. And the ones that girl porno-stars wear is just as bad.
  • I hate to hear myself on a tape recorder so I would not like myself speaking on a porn film. And you and I both know that there is no such animal as a black and white "silent" porno film.
  • I am very clumsy when it comes to doing intricate things with my body. Need I explain?

Shyness, especially on a porno film, would cause me more embarrassment than hurt feelings.

  • What if my loved ones, my wife, grandchildren, son-in-law, and friends in Hamilton, Ala., where I live were to get an accidental glimpse of "me" starring in an adult film film entitled: "Capt. Horn and The Captured Swedish Maid." It would be the equivalent of an E-5 tornado headed toward me in an open field. That is how my family would react. Most of my good friends in Hamilton might laugh their butts off at me.
  • I do not know how to act alluring in real life or on film. The girl film star actress cast to be with me on this film might storm off the set yelling, "I cannot work with this mannequin!"
  • And now, just for my valued followers, a Bonus Reason why I would never be seen in a porno film:
  • I cannot see myself changing my name from Kenneth Avery to a porn name such as: "Big Boy Billy,"; "Jack Offenheimer"; "Porky Pete," and "Dick Steele, Love Master."

Can you guess who this is?

Now, would any  self-respecting  woman be seen in an  inappropriate film  with a man who looks  like this?
Now, would any self-respecting woman be seen in an inappropriate film with a man who looks like this? | Source
"Hollywood" Hulk Hogan, head of nWo formed in 1997.
"Hollywood" Hulk Hogan, head of nWo formed in 1997. | Source

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Comments 8 comments

Sparrowlet profile image

Sparrowlet 8 months ago from Massachusetts, USA

Hahahaha! This saucy hub made me laugh on a day when I'm not feeling very chipper. I don't follow wrestling (I'm a civilized human being) but, of course, the Hulk Hogan story has infiltrated my brain via osmosis, somehow. Very funny and entertaining hub!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 8 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Wow! Sparrowlet, I appreciate that very much. And your sweet comment could not come at a better time. Great timing. I am going to do the best I can and not worry about the rest of this tax thing.

And I was SERIOUS. I will not appear in any adult film, public or private, (see my photo), unless I am bank rolled with $115 million up front.

Am I being too harsh to deal with?

Write anytime you like.

Your Friend for Life,

Kenneth


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 8 months ago

Ken, I read this hub and guffawed. Did you delete my post or did HP?


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 8 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hey, MizBejabbers,

No, I did NOT delete your post. But thank you (from my heart) for the guffaw's. You made my day. Sincerely.

Now I admit that HP did fire-up the Yellow-worded warnings before I published this due to inappropriate (in their eyes) word in the headline. But I am not a troublemaker nor am I a lightning rod of gossip and controversy, so I changed it like a goo American should do.

Thanks again, my Dear Friend.

Kenneth

P.S. Love you Bunches.


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 8 months ago

Well, thank goodness that it wasn't you. Well, it was kind of borderline because I did mention a late star of the naughty. BUT deleting a little risque is one thing, and leaving up a libelous comment that calls Bill Clinton a serial rapist on a question in a Q&A is another. Philanderer is one thing, but rapist is libel. I wonder where their priorities lie? It will be interesting to see if they delete this comment.

Love you back.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 8 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Good morning, MizBejabbers/ 12:14 a.m., Friday

You are one "wild" woman, my dear friend.

You fear no evil or have no qualms about standing your ground against the big companies.

Brav-o, MizBejabbers! To me, you are the Joan Baez of HubPages.

And dear Friend, that IS a pure compliment.

And know that I would never delete any of your remarks.

Peace out.

Your Friend for Life,

Kenneth


bravewarrior profile image

bravewarrior 7 months ago from Central Florida

I used to listen to Bubba the Love Sponge's morning radio show until the local station that carried it went all news. At the time Bubba and "Terry" were best friends. Hogan often appeared on the show. I'm really surprised that Bubba would do something like that to his best friend. And why would he want his wife involved in a porno flick with someone who's not her husband? And the biggest question of all is: How can anyone not know they're in a porno flick? Once Hogan realized he wasn't posing for an innocent, ordinary shot, why on earth did he proceed?


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 6 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

bravewarrior,

You, my dear friend, would make a terrific investigative reporter for a daily newspaper.

You raised several great questions that hardly anyone has asked.

I wish I had the answers for you.

Thank you for the nice comment and you can write me anytime.

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