5 kinds of Facebook friends, everyone has in their life.

These guys are not idiots...there just in the wrong picture at the wrong time. Maybe they are...I don't know.
These guys are not idiots...there just in the wrong picture at the wrong time. Maybe they are...I don't know. | Source

Facebook Login

Everyone reading this has Facebook login linking them to the magic kingdom....no not disney..I mean facebook, it says it in the sentence. If you don't...then welcome to the internet. Be careful it is a dangerous place.

For the rest of us who know what a modem is, Facebook is a landmark in the land of laziness. A way for us to escape on everyday life, and into a land of simulated actual work.

It's a source of entertainment news and nonsense spread across the plains of idiocy. As for everything awesomish in life, there is a price. There is no solution to the problems we will discuss here.

There will be many, in and out of your life. Without further ado. I present to you, 5 kinds of friends I have on Facebook. Welcome to Facebook, login if you dare.



1. Face Book Hackers

Face book friend#1

Don't be a hacker.

Maybe I should rephrase, friends who see your Face book page open, and write something stupid. Yea, those people.

You didn't hack anything, you either found an open page or heard someone say their password. Either way, you didn't hack it.

These friends like to say something about themselves, that you said. For instance, "I think blank is the coolest person in the world ever." Then they log in as themselves and go to the comments to say, "OH, thank you."

No one thinks it cute or funny. All though, I do think its funny that doing that is the only way anyone will say something nice to you. Sometimes you could actually be nice. Maybe be a little helpful. Do something to make someone actually pay attention to you.

I hope a hacker finds your face book account. A real one.



Facebook for Dummies

Here I have included a book that consumers, who may want to teach their friends how to actually use facebook, could buy. Now you can help them learn and grow. You know like kids or something.

Hackers

Have you hacked somebody before, because they weren't logged out?

  • Yes
  • No
  • Thats not hacking
See results without voting

2. Facebook app and Facebok Gamers (The Invitation Specialist)

Facebok friend #2

Don't send me a facebook app or game invite

I get invited to some new version of farmville...EVERYDAY. This group of friends loves to invite you into their circle.

Facebok games are like a gateway drug into solitude, and mt. dew addictions. If I had a dollar for every time I accepted an invite to a game that I like, I would have one dollar.

That line was brought to you by "words with friends"...OH yeah.

There is no need for this. No one wants to sit on the computer, for hours on end, trying to figure out why their carrots aren't growing fast enough. I mean there are some people like that, but lets face it you are not going outside anytime soon anyway.

If you think farmville is addictive wait till you try the other million games exactly like it with no discernible difference.

Stop sending me facebok invites. You don't know why I am getting mad, huh? I can tell you, because your dumb, that's why, and there is no Facebook app for that.


For your senior friends

Yes some of my friends are seniors, and yes there is something I can do to help. This is also a great place to get somebody who has never used facebook on it.

So buy a book and help a senior, consider it community service.

Friends come in all shapes

3. Facbook Insulter

Facbook friend #3

Don't insult people on facbook

I understand needing to vent. I have seen insults I could have never thought of. I applaud most, when aimed in the right direction.

As you may be able to tell, I am an insulter. I don't like me sometimes. This group is like a swarm of locust, eating any honest, goodhearted thing in sight.

They are easy enough to avoid, but they just keep popping up for more.

These people leave all the hate on the page. Most of my friends like this are really cool people. They kind of just hate everything.

Let's face it, I don't care what you had for lunch, neither does facbook. So I may write something less than nice. Sorry in advance.

You guys don't have to be like this. I think for every one thing you say thats bad, you should say 3 things that are nice. Doesn't even have to be true. M

aybe one day someone will insult you, and it will sting. I am not saying that I will laugh. I am also not saying that I won't not not laugh. Yea you read that right. Confused...me too, always.


What do you use it for anyway?

If you use facebook for business purposes, you know, instead of insulting people.

I came across a great book you business folks should grab up while its still available.

But don't take my word for it.....reading rainbow reference, huh hum, moving on.

............................

4. Faceboo Grammar Patrol (who don't know grammar)

Faceboo Lesson #4

Don't worry about other peoples grammar.

The grammar patrol are very educated idiots. Yes folks, there dumb. Their not even a little educated is what I mean.

Listen, if your on Faceboo and you see a post with incorrect grammar, leave it alone. This isn't a college thesis, or a news article.

They know exactly what you meant, but will still tell you what it was supposed to be. At least what they think it was supposed to be. You didn't go to school for this.

Most people who do this, come back with grammar mistakes. I am not saying its a bad thing to help. I am just saying be quiet and leave me alone.

I don't need a lesson on why I should use a semicolon. I need a lesson on why you are giving me a lesson, jerk. By the way grammar patrol..there are many mistakes in this paragraph.

On purpose. I hope it drives you nuts. Speaking of nuts...


5. The Political and Religious Faceboook People

Faceboook friend #5

Don't throw your views in someone else's face(book).

It is okay to have views and opinions on everything. It just seems to me like these friends throw it all in your face. You can't save me, I use faceboook.

Its like there is a constant drive for them to recruit you to their side. I have never seen so much name calling from group to group. You're like 5 year olds.

If I do something that is going to make me go to hell, just let me go. I would rather be there if it means listening to you for eternity.

If I need to choose a religion let me choose on my own. There are many things in this world and the next that I believe. The most important is, I believe that you are an idiot.

Politicians come on, do you have to send you little armies in to turn us against each other. It doesn't matter how you vote people, big companies run America.

I here about change all the time. The only thing you change is your minds, constantly. Whoever give you the most money is who your vote goes to. This is the reason why the government went to hell.

This is also why all of the things about money, including but not limited to its cost to produce, its true vaIue, and its all together good standing with the rest of the world, have gone to hell.

You are a pack of undeserving morons. I grouped these two together for one reason. I wanted to tell both of you at the same time...." SHUT UP ".



Even bieber has friends

In Closing

In life, it does not matter where you are, these friends are there. You can either get used to them, or get away from them.

People are who they are, and that's okay. No one deserves to be judged for anything they do, especially when they are just being themselves.

I have a lot of qualities that may make me one of these, or most of these people. We all need these people in one way or another if only to keep us angry at somebody. A sense of clarity is all that is required to see through these guys.

I have a person from every one of these groups on my Facebook page. I wouldn't trade them for anything. They are all still dumb though. Sort of...

With all this obvious stress on facebook, you should probably be armed with the right tools to combat any friend or situation. So, I share with you the keys, techniques, and skills to be better off than someone else.

Facebook All-In-On for Dummies, oh yea.

Eat that smartish people, we now have a weapon.

Facebook Mistakes

I have noticed that even though facebook is used pretty much everywhere, I decided it would be fun to throw all the facebook spellings that I know on this page. So incase you missed it, I am setting up a poll to see how many people find how many different ways facebook is spelled on my blog, or will you all just look right over them.

Find the Mistakes

How many different spellings of "Facebook" did you find?

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
See results without voting

What would you do?

What would you do if you saw a grammar error on someones facebook post?

  • Be a jerk
  • Nothing
See results without voting

More by this Author


Comments 5 comments

always exploring profile image

always exploring 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

I'm still laughing. I just deleated my account on FB. I just couldn't endure another request for a cow, a chicken or a bale of hay, plus the election is over, get over it. My man won..Hee


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 3 years ago from New York

I voted this up, useful, and funny because it is! So true my friend. You can't save me 'cause I'm on Facebook!!


prairieprincess profile image

prairieprincess 3 years ago from Canada

Agreed on most of these. Yes, the hackers, yikes. It's getting old! And the game invitations. I have now set up my settings to not get most of those game invitations.


jravity1 profile image

jravity1 3 years ago from bellevue, MI Author

Which did you not agree on?


SonQuioey10 profile image

SonQuioey10 3 years ago from Williamston NC

Loved your hub. I so agree with you on the grammar patrol topic. Grammar correctional officers should be banned. I say at least laugh at it or make fun of it, we all chuckle but, please don't correct people. It's like they're aspiring to be a kindergarten teacher and practicing on the public.

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