50 Things A Man Cannot Do
This hub is a direct response to one written recently by phoenixgbr
His hilarious hub outlines 50 stereotypical things men think women can't do. We can do them, we just don't want to. The hub is called (sic) "50 things a women can't do.
I know you will enjoy reading it, just as soon as you are finished here!
Battle of the Sexes
- Change the oil cheaper than Jiffy-Lube can. It's easier and cheaper to let the pro's handle this one.
- Appreciate a foreign film. It's just too confusing to read and watch a movie at the same time.
- Send a text in under 5 minutes. Those buttons are so tiny, and I can't find the smiley face.
- Carry a child. For nine months. The car seat is heavy. The kid is heavy. The diaper bag is heavy.
- Nurse a child. Um. No.
- Endure Pain. Ow. I hurt myself and I need immediate attention.
- Get out of a fender bender calmly. This is clearly not my fault.
- Overlook a fart. Oops. I let another one. Heh. Heh.
- Ask for directions. I know where I'm going and I'm going to drive around until I find it.
- Multi-task. I must focus all of my attention on a single task at a time.
- Resist Home Depot. I don't have a list, but I know I need something. I'll just stop for a minute.
- Concentrate. Squirrel?
- Take a joke. That's not even funny. I don't know why you're laughing.
- Carry on a conversation. Wait until the commercial.
- Pay for dinner without any strings. You don't owe me anything. Except one kiss.
- See a pretty girl without tripping over feet or tongue. Where did that wall come from?
- Put it away until they've waited for the last drop to fall, whacked it with their finger and banged it on the wall. It's much harder to pee standing up.
- Say, "I'm Sorry". I don't need to apologize. You always take everything so seriously.
- Say, "I was wrong". I wasn't wrong. You misinterpreted what I said.
- Eat salad without complaining. Where's the meat?
- Drive past an Auto Zone. I need oil, if I'm going to change it. And those little tree things.
- Make a decent chocolate... anything. We need more bacon in this meal.
- Not comment on women's figures. Wow. She's smoking hot.
- Use the bathroom without plugging the plumbing. Do you have a plunger nearby?
- Let you sleep when the baby cries. That baby is crying again.
- Drink without getting obnoxious. I just burned. And did you see the tits on that chick?
- Enjoy a long lunch. Why is this taking so long?
- Take a hit to the ego. He doesn't golf better than me. I was having an off day.
- Appreciate beauty. Nice. It looks just like a sunset.
- Like your friends. She's a man-hating bitch.
- Resist a picture of any naked woman. I know she's unattractive. But look, she's naked.
- Enjoy a decadent dessert. Is there any more bacon?
- Understand the point. I don't get what you're trying to say.
- Buy hygenic products. You want me to buy what?
- Go to the bathroom without a magazine. I'll just be a minute. But do you have anything to read?
- Sit in a room for five minutes without getting impatient. How long is this going to take?
- Go to the bar without calling 20 buddies. Hey, you wanna meet me for beers?
- Resist the mid-life crisis car. This car costs more than my rent. But you can't ride in it.
- Bellyflop with dignity. Watch my flip.
- Recognize where furniture belongs. This looks like a good place for a bean bag.
- Blow into a hanky without drawing disgusted stares from strangers. Wow. That feels better.
- Remember a birthday. Oh. You had a birthday? I totally forgot.
- Accept that you've changed. Since when do you eat sushi?
- Cry in public. Only girls cry. Ever.
- Let you flirt without getting insecure. Who is that guy?
- Enjoy a day with the family. I know we planned a family day, but I'm just going to golf nine holes before we go.
- Go to a ball game alone. Anyone want to watch the game with me?
- Carry everything in his wallet. I don't need gum. You have it in your purse.
- Watch a chick flick without making fun of you. This movie is stupid. Where is the action?
- Get this far without getting defensive. I'm not like that.
As phoenixgbr stated, this is all in good fun, stereotypes and all. We can take it and we can dish it out.
While the list is in fun, there are many things that men and women do differently. It doesn't make one better than the other, just different. Those differences, when brought together, make a man and woman a great team.
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