9 Reasons to Be An Evil Villain When You Grow Up

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Choose Your Destiny

Have you been looking for a few good reasons to become an evil mastermind? Are you already a supervillain? In honor of recently publishing my 90th hub, I feel that it is necessary to write a top 9 list. I could probably write 90 reasons why you should become an evil villain, but even my mother would stop reading after 58 reasons or so.

Personally, I feel it is very important that the world and the universe continue to have evil villains. Not only do they balance out all that ghastly goodness floating around out there, their presence ensures that heroes don't get too soft, sitting around with nothing to do.

That is why I am sharing 9 reasons why you should forget about becoming a doctor or a lawyer, an astronaut or a police officer. Nine. Because nine is just one of those numbers that annoys people, since it isn't quite ten. One of the many fun things you too can do, once you become a villain...

Famous Villains and Overlords

Need a role model? Check out these baddies for some inspiration:

  • Darth Vader
  • Magneto
  • Lord Voldemort
  • Lex Luthor
  • The Joker
  • Shredder
  • Catwoman
  • Nurse Ratched
  • Ursula the Sea Witch

1. Anyone Can Be An Evil Villain

One of the biggest attractions of evil villainship is that it requires little to no formal education. Anyone of any age can simply decide to be an evil villain. Whether or not they succeed depends on how hard they are willing to work.

Some villains never climb to the top. They will never be a master villain. They will never be an Evil Overlord. They will remain minions, henchmen, goons, and expendable secondary characters. Occasionally they can work towards other positions of power, such as second-in-command, or evil adviser.

There is no specific set of educational guidelines for this job. The person only needs to show a willingness to be bad, an ability to learn, a knack for not getting killed, and proper respect for those who can kill them telepathically.

2. Bad Guys Are Smarter

This doesn't apply to ALL evil villains. Many of the minions and goons mentioned above probably won't be passing any really touch IQ tests.

However, those who achieve the title of Master Villain are always smarter. Sometime during their career they will amass a well-rounded education and learn how to quote incredibly long pieces of literature. This is a prerequisite for ruling the universe.

The result is that not only are they better at their job, they can carry on long, witty, one-sided conversations against a hero who has, at best, all the class of a cart horse. A large portion of a villain's job includes skewering their opponents with well chosen verbal weaponry.

This should always be done with class, elegance, and an expression that clearly communicates that they LOVE their job. So, if you want to be classy and elegant while verbally eviscerating people you dislike, consider evil villain to be the job for you.

Are You Read To Be a Super Villain?

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3. Villains Have the Best Wardrobe

From custom suits in outrageous colors, to leather corsets designed to distract the hero- from capes to high heels, those who work as villains are known for having the BEST wardrobe.

Plus, there are no rules about what you can and cannot wear. Villains appear in a variety of outfits. Sometimes they like to stand out in the crowd, and sometimes they prefer to blend in with the masses.

However, if you are going to BE a bad guy, and you are going to have all that power...might as well wear what you want. You are free to express yourself. After all, if you are bad enough, no one is going to DARE criticize your choice of pants.

4. Villains Are Rolling In Dough

They must be. Have you ever seen a high-powered movie villain sit down and check the family finances before deciding if he can build a time machine or space ship or Death Star or incredibly complex weapons facility?

Take a look at the bad guys in James Bond films. When have they ever said:

"Well, I would like to build this laser that could destroy most of the planet. It will be about seven stories tall, powered by diamonds and located on my own private island. BUT...we really need to buy groceries this week..."

That is because bad guys are either really, really rich, or they have very generous sponsors. If you want funding for a diamond powered laser or an army of orcs to benefit the world,try finding someone to contribute a cent.

Bad is the way to go here. Plus, you get all the perks, like a cool cars or space ships, the most futuristic weapons, and about 10,000 people who call you boss.

5. Everybody Knows the Bad Guy

When you are the hero/heroine of a film (or book), you are often unrecognized. The good guys usually have to introduce themselves to people several times.

"Hi, my name is Tim, and I am the good guy who plans to bring X bad guy to his knees."

Very tiresome.

A villain walks into the room, and suddenly, people who have never seen this character before start cleaning off chairs and offering to buy him or her a few drinks.

Although there are no rock-solid statistics on this subject, it is widely accepted that only five people remember the good guy's name:

  • The love interest
  • The side-kick
  • A bill collector or bounty hunter
  • The good guy
  • The bad guy's adviser

Sometimes, if they have had enough skirmishes, the villain will know the hero's name without having to be reminded. The same goes for the hero's mother.

Therefore, it only stands to reason that if you want the recognition you deserve, you won't waste your talents in a mediocre role. Be the bad guy, and be famous.

6. Villains Are Sexier, and They Know How to Use It

This is one of the job perks.Villains who achieve master level, or who go on to become complete overlords/ladies are going to be on the cover of every supermarket tabloid.

You will make the cover of People magazine. You will be hounded by adoring fans. You will get really weird letters and Tweets about how someone wants to lick poison from your boots just so they can die at your feet.

And it doesn't really matter what you look like. Anyone can achieve sexy villain status. The uniform and seductive nature of your every-expanding vocabulary will help with this. And the unlimited riches, of course.

Cons of Being an Evil Villain

Here is a brief overview of some valid cons you should consider before choosing this career path. It isn't all sunshine and roses on the Dark Side, you know.

  • This is a 24/7 job. No vacation. Few health benefits.
  • You will attract a crazy stalker that is obsessed with killing or overthrowing you.
  • Not the best position of you want to have a family.
  • People will try to kill your family daily just to make you come out of hiding.
  • You will often pay dues: such as training incompetent henchmen
  • You will always have one adversary that is just as powerful. And he/she will NEVER die.
  • You aren't allowed to cry at sad films
  • It can be very hard to find a trustworthy best friend




7. Bad Guys Don't Die

Everlasting life isn't guaranteed with this job. However, you will be allotted a number of extra lives every year to use carefully. As long as you don't use them all up in one fight scene, you can extend your badness for eons.

Do keep in mind that it is very rare to find a good guy who can be killed at all. But you can injure them multiple times. Their sidekicks, best friends, love interests, soldiers, family members, and pets can all be killed, though.

Part of your uniform/suit/costume may include a gun that holds an endless supply of bullets or a sword that cannot be broken. As the bad guy, your getaway vehicle will always be kept in perfect shape. The good guy's mode of transportation will probably malfunction, die, run away, crash, or stall at some point.

As for you yourself, you may, as a villain, be able to survive multiple gun shot wounds, stabbings, poisonings, fall,crashes, drownings, burns, explosions, and blunt force traumas. You may even be able to withstand telekinetic and telepathic assaults, as well as a host of supernatural powers.

Your ability to remain alive will depend on how bad you really are. If you are still at minion level, you will be more vulnerable. For the most part, there are two things you can do to endanger your own life as a bad guy: show any form of mercy or emotion or boast about your skills.

Be bad, but be humble. You will live longer.

8. Evil Villains Can Get Away With Murder

Literally and figuratively. You see something, you want it...you just take it. As a villain, you have an undisputed right to seize anything you see, including, but not limited to:

  • Treasure
  • Weapons
  • Prisoners
  • Really nice ink pens
  • Vehicles
  • Countries/Planets
  • Chocolate glazed doughnuts
  • The last cold soda
  • Money
  • Someone elses love interest
  • Magical books
  • Souls
  • Secret codes

Good guys are generally allowed to take only what they need to survive, and then they have to return it or repay it in some fashion if they are victorious. No one expects you to return squat, because you are the bad guy.

Plus, you are allowed to just do randomly mean things for no good reason. You aren't committing a crime. You are displaying your power. It is all in the wording.

And no one tells a villain to go to their room if they throw a tantrum. Villains are free binge on a whole bag of potato chips and get crumbs on the rug. They don't have to wash their hands after the use the restroom. They don't have to leave a tip.

And if you throw a tantrum, everyone else runs to their room. Quaking with fear, of course.

9. Bad Guys Have All the Fun

Or at least bad guys have the best fun. Villains have the type of fun that doesn't have rules attached.

Villains get to drive fast, harass their enemies, flirt without shame, and wreak havoc on the universe. All without having to make a single apology.

Being a villain can be an exciting opportunity for anyone who considers themselves ruthless. It is a highly competitive career choice that can take you all the way to the top. Lets recap what you get:

  • Training
  • Wit
  • Freedom to improvise
  • Unlimited funds
  • Adoring fans
  • Tools and equipment
  • Fantastic clothes
  • Recognition and fame

All you have to do is show up for work every day. And guess what? You are a villain. You don't have to show up on time.

So what are you waiting for? Don't aspire for a job with no glamour. Don't settle for an office when you can rule the world. Your minions are waiting.

Be your own destiny. Be a Super Villain.

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47 comments

FlourishAnyway profile image

FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

I'm all in, as long as I can get my catsuit zipped up. This was an awesome sales pitch for villains! Bahahaha!


Sharkye11 profile image

Sharkye11 2 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Thanks, Flourish! There just isn't a lot of info out there on why you should be a villain. The good guys are monopolizing the job market. :) And I hear you on the cat suit. Very hard to get on, especially when its humid. Capes are much more forgiving!


kotobukijake profile image

kotobukijake 2 years ago

What an interesting hub! Very well-presented and informative, and definitely makes the case effectively for being a super villain. There were definitely some points I had not considered, but that are worth keeping in mind, yes? And you're right about leather and humidity--I think I personally'll take a page from the Joker and just wear impeccably-tailored suits with a bit of unconventional style. Hehe. I did enjoy this hub; good work.


Engelta profile image

Engelta 2 years ago from Albania

Anyway, in the end, isn't everything we do a way to be loved a little more?


profile image

sheilamyers 2 years ago

I'd never want to be a villain, but I'm glad you gave them some recognition. There wouldn't be any superheroes if there weren't any supervillains to to catch.


belleart profile image

belleart 2 years ago from Ireland

Love this hub! So true. I love a good villain, but honestly, Megamind was my favourite. Its such an honest story about the hero/villain dynamic.


spartucusjones profile image

spartucusjones 2 years ago from Parts Unknown

Awesome Hub, I got a kick out of it! Even though I'm still waiting for the other 81 reasons... I am thinking of becoming evil, constantly fighting to save the world is becoming rather dull. But I would like to be able to keep the luchador mask and $5 poncho though.


Sharkye11 profile image

Sharkye11 2 years ago from Oklahoma Author

@kotobukijake--you can't go wrong with a nice suit and a touch of face paint. Especially if the suit is in bold-statement colours. That is part of what makes villains so recognizable and fun. Thanks for the read, and food luck with your villainship.


dailytop10 profile image

dailytop10 2 years ago from Davao City

But bad guys never win right? hahaha But after reading your hub, I'm somehow convinced to start my villainy. My first plan is to place legos underneath our doormat. Evil enough? haha


CrisSp profile image

CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

I wouldn't mind taking the most iconic villain"Maleficent" role! I think it is very exciting and maybe, even those who hate me would love me then. Just a thought! :)

Brilliant hub to present a parallel thoughts on life experiences!

Voting up, interesting and sharing.


RonElFran profile image

RonElFran 2 years ago from Mechanicsburg, PA

Shame on you for misleading impressionable young would-be villains! "Bad Guys Don't Die"? Of course they do - in droves. It's only the super-villains who are guaranteed nine lives. Those bad guys who haven't yet risen above minion status are totally expendable. Haven't you noticed that while the evil master is jumping into his helicopter and getting away, his evil minions are mounting a selfless rear guard action against the hero in which they all inevitably die to insure the master villain's escape? Though it is written in the scrolls that a certain number of good guy sidekicks must die to demonstrate the hero's unique virtue, overall the death rate for evil minions is much greater.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

Well yep you sold it to me! lol! now I want to be a super evil villain, but does that mean I have to grow up mentally? can I just be evil and that's it? lol! fun hub, voted up and shared,....if the darn share button works!


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 2 years ago from North Carolina

Toche, Sharkye. Very clever and funny. Thanks, Nell. Evil villains, Master villains, and 97% of all others, so far as the movie biz goes, must follow the Hero's Journey. In fact, one can hardly get a screenplay accepted in Hollywood without following it no matter the genre.


Sharkye11 profile image

Sharkye11 2 years ago from Oklahoma Author

@Engelta --Yes, even villains need a little love. :)

@SheilaMeyers--It is all about balance. Some villains would just be lost if their good guy counterparts weren't around. And vice versa. How boring would their lives be? Thanks for reading!


sapiktor profile image

sapiktor 2 years ago from Kelantan

I like the villain role. However, I love the anti-hero character. They have a little bit of goodness inside them, but a lot of dark side. They are like the bad guys, but just happen to be on the good people side. Just like batman.


Jenn-Anne profile image

Jenn-Anne 2 years ago

I LOVE this hub! I have always thought that it would be quite entertaining to be an evil overlord. Mwahahaha! You include several excellent reasons for choosing an evil career path - some I hadn't considered before, like unlimited wealth. Thanks so much for sharing!


Aneegma profile image

Aneegma 2 years ago

Where do I sign up? I was so born for the role of a Villan! Very enjoyable hub. Loved it!


starbright profile image

starbright 2 years ago from Scandinavia

Thanks for sharing. Nice, interesting hub.


Sharkye11 profile image

Sharkye11 2 years ago from Oklahoma Author

@belleart. I haven't seen Megamind yet. But now I'm rabidly curious for another villain to add to my collection! Thanks for reading!


belleart profile image

belleart 2 years ago from Ireland

Oh I would highly recommend it...while he perfectly displays the reality behind villainy, there's actually a lot more to him than that and he's just hilarious! I loved the movie :)


Sharkye11 profile image

Sharkye11 2 years ago from Oklahoma Author

@Spartacusjones Great idea! You've already got a signature look, so why not run with it? You might want to make a few evil alterations just to avoid confusion though.


aviannovice profile image

aviannovice 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

The humor was perfect, even if the job is tough.


Sharkye11 profile image

Sharkye11 2 years ago from Oklahoma Author

@dailytop10 I hear that is how many villains get their start. :) Followed by the old cellophane under the toilet seat trick. Then you get to move up to plotting to take over the world. (start with one town first.) And remember, bad guys only lose when they give in to the temptation to follow cliches.


Sharkye11 profile image

Sharkye11 2 years ago from Oklahoma Author

@CrisSp Another classy role model. Go for it! And thanks for reading! :)


jackie 2 years ago

This is a very cool idea


Kathryn Stratford profile image

Kathryn Stratford 2 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

Wow, this is an awesome way to end my night, or start my morning... whatever you consider 3:30 am to be. Congrats on winning HOTD, and thanks for the laughs. This article actually makes being a villain a very appealing option.

Thanks for sharing this with us, and have a great day.

~ Kathryn


Artois52 profile image

Artois52 2 years ago from England

I always wanted to be a Dalek! Great hub and fun to read. thanks.


starbright profile image

starbright 2 years ago from Scandinavia

Jack Sparrow - but can't make up my mind whether he's really a villain. I think it's because he looks an awful lot like Johnny Depp. Great hub, fun reading and well deserving of being HOTD - Congratulations. Voted and shared.


flpalermo profile image

flpalermo 2 years ago

I noticed that many responders to this Hub revealed a pleasure to be and enjoy evil, if they could get away with it. That’s what Satan offered mother Eve. “Try this little fruit, you can get away with it – no one will know.” As a matter of fact, it will give you “great pleasure.” I think I will prefer to be for the Hero, the good guy.

Phi 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.


Learn Things Web profile image

Learn Things Web 2 years ago from California

I laughed so hard when I saw Ursula the Sea Witch on the list of Famous Villains and Overlords. I'm sure she's proud to be considered part of such an illustrious group.


Alphadogg16 profile image

Alphadogg16 2 years ago from Texas

This was a great article Sharke11 & put a smile on my face. I needed a good laugh. I've always been the type that pulls for the bad guy. Huge Darth Vader fan, as he is the baddest of the bad. Thumbs up on your hub.


Huntgoddess profile image

Huntgoddess 2 years ago from Midwest U.S.A.

Yes, flpalermo, you are quite correct. The Hub is just a joke. It's referring to movie and comic villains. It's not meant to be taken as real advice. Sometimes it's difficult to identify the TONE behind the literal meaning of the words.

I once read an article in a magazine for psychology professionals, wherein the author jokingly "analyzed" Winnie the Pooh and some of the characters in the stories by A. A. Milne, as if the characters were clients going to a counselor.

The article was very witty (like this Hub) and gave my many chuckles. But, it turned out that some people were not native English speakers or readers, so it was difficult for them to pinpoint what was wrong. They were very worried :-)

I'm thinking perhaps you are Italian, because your username refers to Palermo? Perhaps Italian is your first language? (If so, your English is certainly amazing. I am trying to learn Italian online a little. I don't know if I will ever speak ANY language other than this one. I'm not too happy about it, either. :-(

In the immortal words of Lewis Carroll, (from Hunting of the Snark?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've said it in German. I've said it in Dutch.

I've said it in Hebrew and Greek.

But I always forget -- and it vexes me much ---

That English is what you speak.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sharkye11: AWESOME!!!

Incredibly witty, insightful and entertaining. I love the little "Silent Movie Style" text cards. (There might be a real name for them, but I don't know what it is.)

It's kind of amazing how you control and maintain the TONE all the way through, kiddo. Very adorable.

(Ooooh, I'm sooooooo jealous. That dadblasted Sharkey11 went and ruined all my beautiful wickedness. I wanted to get Hub of the Day, and now, well - - - I'll get you, my little pretty. And, your little keyboard, too. Just you wait. Bwa, ha, ha , ha. ♪ D minor chord ♫ ♪ )

Up, awesome, interesting, of course exceedingly FUNNY!

Congrats!


Misfit Chick profile image

Misfit Chick 2 years ago from Seattle, WA - USA - The WORLD

This is exactly what I needed today... Thanks for the alert about no vacations. I'll probably make a pretty bad villain. :)


Trisha Roberts profile image

Trisha Roberts 2 years ago from Rensselaer, New York

Loved this hub, it was very interesting. I would say my favorite villain was probably Scar from Lion King. But Ursula was awesome too. Thanks for sharing this, you had many informative facts that I enjoyed reading.


Kyra Tiffany profile image

Kyra Tiffany 2 years ago from Portland, OR

I'm really happy to see Ursula make the list. She is often overlooked, that "Poor unfortunate Soul" :)


Sharkye11 profile image

Sharkye11 2 years ago from Oklahoma Author

@RinElfran--You are so right. A devastating error on my part. I edited to add that minions are an endangered species. But with hard work and a dash of cunning, they too can become semi-invincible! Thanks for reading and commenting!


Sharkye11 profile image

Sharkye11 2 years ago from Oklahoma Author

@Nell Rose--The best part about being the villain is you don't have to do any growing up. Its all about having fun. You sound like the perfect candidate!


bluebird profile image

bluebird 2 years ago

Ursula was the worst, the daughter of the devil himself!

But in all truth, I think the world would be a much better place if people would hate the evil and love the good. It's obvious that mentality has all but disappeared and therefore the world waxes worse and worse, yet takes it all in stride. This world is full of poor unfortunate souls suffering from the evil deeds of other poorer unfortunate souls who go on killing rampages and the like. Evil villains are definitely stalking planet earth by the millions. They are invisible demons influencing people to kill each other off. There is no other explanation.


gamerjimmy23 profile image

gamerjimmy23 2 years ago from California

Sounds like I have more work to do to perfect my "bad guy" reputation. ; )


Sharkye11 profile image

Sharkye11 2 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Thanks Alastar Packer! It is true. The Hero gets all the publicity, and that is a shame. After all, if there were no bad guys, there could be no good guys, right? Everyone would just be guys...and the movies wouldn't be that interesting anymore!


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 2 years ago from Japan

Nice Hub, and yes don't women love the villains. You can't have a good movie without a decent cool villain.


marieloves profile image

marieloves 2 years ago from Canada

I love this hub! I find myself rooting for the villain over the hero sometimes. Thumbs up and Funny.


carrie Lee Night profile image

carrie Lee Night 2 years ago from Northeast United States

Love it:) funny, creative and the poster child for bad recruiting. You presented the villain industry like a you were selling a Bad day :). Kudos. Have a great day.


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 2 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines

This is a hilarious hub my friend. If I were a villain, I'd be Lex Luthor. Intelligent and rich. Darth Vader would also be a nice choice. he Jedi power is really strong in him.


Sharkye11 profile image

Sharkye11 2 years ago from Oklahoma Author

@Sapitkor I like anti-heroes as well. A lot of "villains" are just anti-heroes at heart. They definitely make a story more realistic and interesting than one with unbelievably wicked villains against impossibly perfect heroes! Thanks for reading!


Sharkye11 profile image

Sharkye11 2 years ago from Oklahoma Author

@Jenn-Anne Thanks! And oh yes, the wealth part is one of the biggest perks. (besides health insurance. I'm sure villains have great health coverage in order to stay so fit.) Glad you enjoyed, and good luck in your evil career!


FatBoyThin profile image

FatBoyThin 20 months ago from Kinneff, Scotland

I’m sure being a bad guy would be a hellova lot of fun (fast cars, fast women, killing good guys with clever gadgets, drinking heavily, gambling etc), but I don’t think I could live with the guilt of being so horrible, even if it meant getting to rule the world.

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