A Black Family In 6th Century England Eating Sandwiches, Other Media Absurdities & Typos
I started watching the first episode of NBC's Merlin last night and turned it off in disgust within minutes. This miserable excuse for a historical television drama is a great example of how our entire culture is now paying the price for disregarding education and devaluing intelligence through equating it with pocket protector, horn rimmed glasses wearing nerds whose only purpose for existence is to get beat up for the lolz.
Within a couple of minutes of the opening credits, there was a scene with a black family. Ok... a black family? In England? In the 6th century? That was centuries before the Moorish conquests and even then, there would never be a fully black family in England since no black women ever accompanied the Moor forces! But the best part was when the daughter fixed the father "a sandwich." This, of course, was 12 centuries before the Earl of Sandwich was born and lent his name to his invention of a hunk of meat between two slices of bread! Let's not even talk about the Norman architecture they were shooting in which had no choice but to have been built after 1066 which was the date of the Norman Conquest!
I had to try hard not to puke.
However, after due reflection, I realized that I should be more sad than nauseous. The art form once mastered by The Editor has been replaced by the rapid fire ignorance of the countless under-educated and unintelligent pseudo-writers of this obtuse age. Let's check out some of their highlights (or lowlights) in the news media:
Firefighters to deal with not just the fire with people in the middle of the road ejaculating - KABC-TV
Queen Elizabeth has 10 times the lifespan of workers and lays up to 2,000 eggs a day - Reuters
Missippi's literacy program shows improvement - Associated Press
Student excited dad got head - Daily Kansan
Crack Found In Man's Buttocks - Fox 5 Baltimore
One armed man applauds the kindness of strangers - Tulsa World
Tiger Woods Plays With His Own Balls - Associated Press
Utah Poison Control Center reminds everyone not to take poison - Salt Lake Tribune
Although the Toronto Argonauts CFL football team were on the road, the stadium was filled with blue shits - CityNews
Sex Eduction Works To Delay Intercourse - Fox News
Swine Fule - The Times Of India
On pubic display - CTV News
An election in which John F. Kerry narrowly defeated Richard Nixon - Washington Post
The Reverend stated "you never know what the impact of your semon is going to be." - Lockhart Post Register
DOE to do NEPA's EIS on BNFL's AMWTP at INEEL after SRA protest - Idaho Mountain Express
Sen. Robert Creedon will leave the Legislature to seek the cunty clerk of courts job - Quincy Patriot Ledger
Marshall McLuhan's "The Medium Is The Massage." - New York Times Magazine
Night To Remember For Team Titantic - New York Post
Rebecca Romijnlandsinaprime-timecomedy. - Newsweek
Sentenced to 5 Years, 10 Months for Frau. - ABC News
The New York State Departmentportationion and Finance - New York Times
Gen. Robert E. Lee was one of the great hores of American history - Lockhart Post Register
... in a New York hospital with hepatitis C, a collapsed lung and a heart infection and suffering a collapsed lung. - E! Online
...voluntarily recall 94,400 pounds of frozen ground beef panties. - New York Times
The folks down in Atlanta at the CNN center must have been spending a bit too much time in that city's superlative bars, as they are worthy of a series of Hubs just to highlight their stupidity alone!
Access to untelligence
Where's Obama Bin Laden?
Rains likely in WA and OR. Dry in the Pacific Northwest.
Clashes, strike shit down Greece airport
Bush pledges "we're going to come" this economic crisis
He claimed to have met Osama bin Laden in Afghanistan after joining anal Qaeda group
Bush speaks on terroism
Mandona performs on a cross at London's Wembly Arena
Nuclear plant saftey
The Digial Camera Fights For Life
Bisops warn against witchcraft
and one that's on the CNN home page as I write this:
Bascilica bones belong to apostle St. Paul
Then, of course, we have some great examples from Jay Leno's phenomenal Headlines segment:
22 NFL Quarterbacks Have Felt His Sack
Autumn: Chilly Hummers & Noisy Peckers
Boneless, Skinless Amish Breasts
Children Living Without Limbs Lack Support
Dogs & Cats On Menu At Shelter Adoption Luau
Dr. Joel Kaplan's Penis Pumps: Gain 103 Inches
Fried Chicken Cooked in Microwave Wins Trip
Legislator Wants Tougher Death Penalty
Lovely Home at 10741 Pig Turd Alley
Police to Probe Barton's Backside
Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
The Needle In The Gay Stack
TV Ads Boost Eating of Obese Children By 130%
Woman Improving After Fatal Crash
The winner has to be the New Hampshire & Vermont Valley News which really takes the cake, as it misspelled its own name on the front page!
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