A Heartfelt Endorsement

Cowboy Builders

 

One of my businesses before retirement was a manufacturing concern to which I also added a construction company.

 

Those of my friends here who are curious as to what I was up to in the past, might find the attached video of interest. It took a year to make and shows what we did in detail. I am the beefy guy in the beginning of the video, twirling a building around on my computer screen.

 

 

I sold my share in that business fully expecting all the partners to make a killing, but that is another story.

Part 1

Part 2

During that period I built a house for a guy with a wonderful sense of humour by the name of Alan Streeter, with whom I became quite friendly. On moving into his new home, Alan sent me two letters in the same envelope and I used BOTH of them for advertising purposes. The first one was a very warm "thank you" letter for the wonderful home we had built for him and the second went as follows:


Dear Mr. De Greek,


Our therapist thought it might prove cathartic, and of benefit to my wife and I, if we were to write to you, and update you on events that have taken place in the six months since we occupied the house your Company constructed for us.


He told us that we were suffering from a case of Stockholm Syndrome Transference. You will doubtless remember the case of the hostages taken during a Stockholm bank robbery, who became emotionally dependant upon their captors. In much the same way, he told us, we were becoming emotionally dependant upon our tormentors, and had learned to become reliant upon our daily telephone calls to you, asking you to send workers to either repair or complete our home.


You will remember that when we moved in, the weather was quite cold, but our discomfort was somewhat alleviated by the electrical fire. The heat that this generated, plus the adrenalin of evacuating in the middle of the night, kept us warm for a few days.


When we re-occupied the house, spring was starting to appear, and the wild flowers that abound in Cyprus did a wonderful job of lifting our spirits, providing a special splash of cover, when they appeared in the cracks between the tiles on the lounge floor.


The strange echo that one hears when continually wearing hard hats inside the house, is more than offset by the protection that they offer against the falling objects and debris.


Likewise the need to wear rubber gloves when touching anything electric is compensated for by the softness of the skin on my wife’s hands, due to the need to wear them for most of the waking day. So you see; we have learned that to every disadvantage, there is an advantage.


The problems surrounding the visits of your Civil Engineer, Mr. Vangelis, were surmounted by the simple expedient of sticking a photograph of him by the front door, so that we now recognise him, even after the longest absence, and we haven’t mistakenly called the police for some time now. Speaking of the police, the dawn raid by Interpol, when they captured and arrested all of your workers on site, from Eastern Europe and on the run having perpetrated all manner of crimes, reaped huge financial rewards. Indeed, the reward we were given almost paid for the repairs necessary to the roof.


Once again, fortune favoured us. At the onset of summer, when the front balcony collapsed, taking with it the upstairs bedroom wall, it offered a unique opportunity to sleep under the stars; and as a bonus, your workers having omitted to put insulation in the loft, the bedroom was so much cooler. Additionally, waking up in the morning covered in dew also meant that the fact that the shower didn’t work was now of little importance.


Our daily telephone calls to your office enquiring after progress, workers, medical bills and so on, have also proved to be a pleasant method of getting to know the ladies who divert our calls away from you. Indeed, the two weddings, and the engagement parties we have attended have appreciably widened our social circle.


We have nothing but praise for your Accountant, and as proof of our good relations, we always make a point of visiting him whenever we visit Nicosia, provided of course that our arrival coincides with the visiting times at Nicosia Prison.


The adaptability shown by the pool you built is also of great value. When it became apparent that (a) it would never be completed, and that (b) it would leak in any case, my wife who is a keen gardener, and I, converted it into an underground conservatory. Apart from the snakes, this has proved to be a most relaxing place to take cover, when the odd earthquake induces falls of masonry etc., from the house.


Whilst discussing your staff, our calls to Mr. Vangelis, in his capacity as Complaints Manager have become something that we both look forward to. His laughter is so infectious that after a while, we find ourselves laughing along with him.


In conclusion, Mr. De Greek, our dealings with you prove once again, the underlying truth behind the old adage, “that which doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger”. Following her nervous breakdown, my wife has made a complete recovery, and provided she remembers to take her medication, is almost always bright and cheerful. She has completely put behind her the unfortunate incident with your foreman, and the axe. How is he by the way?


For my part, expert counselling has completely dispelled those silly thoughts revolving around suicide, and my prematurely grey hair has added a dignity to my person that my psychiatrist tells me, wasn’t there before.


Yes, I would say that the last six months have been a steep but educational learning curve, and with good counselling I view things in an entirely different light. To this end, I would thank you for this, and as proof, I have earnestly been trying to contact the four Bulgarian hitmen I employed, in order to tell them of my change of heart. If I am unsuccessful in this, and you meet them, before I can speak with them, perhaps you would be kind enough to inform them, if they give you sufficient time; that the contract has been cancelled?


Cordially,

I.M.A. Sucker



Dimitris Mita

De Greek

More by this Author


Comments 65 comments

drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida

Since I suspect you know the good Mr. Sucker Streeter intimately, please inform him by way of this commentary that I have a grievous stomach ache from doubling over with laughter at this hub and his letter and am seriously considering ringing up my solicitor to inform my barrister to sue the lot of you for causing said ailment.

Oh, yes, before I forget, be very, very careful when you appear in public. I learned that those hitmen did receive a telegram informing them of the cancellation of the contract, but they can not READ!


katiem2 profile image

katiem2 6 years ago from I'm outta here

The weather conditions sound marvelous! Rain albeit less than in some other European countries, and those warm winter days with cool nights. I'm sold lets work up some plans...

Very interesting you never fail to keep us on our toes. What's next you versatile individual you?

Oh and BTW, I'm in the *&^%$#^ family and we've got our eyes all over you! lol


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa

At last I’ve found you! Remember thirty years ago... the house with the thatch roof that collapsed while we were entertaining Tutankhamun the Living Image of Amun? Now that roof, sir, damaged my ego irreparable. You will soon receive a letter from my attorney, containing my claims. And don’t try to go insolvent - I’ve got eyes up in the sky :))))


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

.

* - * drbj, if it made you laugh so much, why did you not mark it UP you bad girl? :-))

* - * Katie, I don't get the family thing/joke. Sorry, but I am quite thick today. Please explain :-)

* - * Martie, there is nothing left. I am now a pauper, child :-))


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 6 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

There's always a bug or two associated with innovation,as I see Mr.Sucker may have learned,not everyone can build a better mousetrap,especialy one with a pool:-))


Petra Vlah profile image

Petra Vlah 6 years ago from Los Angeles

It seems that we may follow in Mr. Sucker’s footsteps, but I really hope not. As I am writing this, my husband is in Spain trying to buy our retirement house. In the last few years, during the real estate boom in Spain, most houses were built by English developers and they are just as ugly as the ones your company built in Cyprus.

I can’t understand who (except Mr. Sucker) would want to live in such atrocious developments? At any rate, we are looking for an older villa and were lucky to find one that is about 18 years old (by European standards not older than a new born).

Let’s see what happens next, but I am glad you informed me about the possibility of that syndrome, whatever the name is. Will let you know as soon as we move there. What I am telling you happens to be all true, but your hub is just hilorious and I loved it. I may even send it to my husband so he will know what to look for before making a final decision. And this is no joke either.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

* - * Brother Mentalist, we had the PERFECT energy efficient product. We sold out to two jokers who ended up fighting between themselves and closing the company down. A real tragedy. Thank you for passing by.

* - * Petra, I shall give you a piece of advice which you will (of course) not take, but you will remember me every time your Spanish electricity bill arrives and you will realise that you shall be spending $500 per month on air conditioning :-)))

Do NOT buy a ready made Spanish concrete house. Buy a plot of land 0ver 2000 feet above sea level. Build your house with energy efficient SIPs at HALF THE COST the Spaniards want. I will show you how to build a huge swimming pool 40 x 20 feet for less than $10.000.

You will save a fortune in construction - and in maintenance costs which even worse long term! :-))))


Petra Vlah profile image

Petra Vlah 6 years ago from Los Angeles

You know what? That sounds like a real good idea, especialy because we plan on moving to Spain in about 4-5 years when my husband retaires and the real estate market in America gets a little higher. Could we trust the Spanish construction companies? We are looking in the North Costa Blanca area, mostly around Calpe which is North of Alicante and about 120 Km south of Valencia).

I am serious now, please e-mail me if you have some ideas that could help us avoid fatal mistakes. Thank you my friend


jill of alltrades profile image

jill of alltrades 6 years ago from Philippines

Hahaha! I thoroughly enjoyed that wonderful letter of endorsement. I trust that you are still on speaking terms with Mr. Alan Streeter?

Thanks for starting my early morning exercise of laughing!

God bless you!


lisadpreston profile image

lisadpreston 6 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

Really Really funny. Remind me to never have you build for me. What a letter.


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 6 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

Poor Mr. Sucker! At least he looks on the bright side of things. hehe. I chuckled at the part where the balcony collpases and he is appreciative that he got to sleep under stars. LOL!

BDW, have rated it up, and how do you know when someone rates up or not? Noticed your comments. Maybe I am being dense. :::insert goofy smile here:::::: :)


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Petra, I shall share the wisdom here, just in case someone else wants to know. :-)))

The guy in the first video shown before me sitting with a secretary next to him at his desk, is the Vangelis referred to by Alan. He is an exceptional civil engineer, who also used to be my partner. He has since built a factory in ROMANIA (!) making SIPs with even higher energy advantages. Design the house of your dreams and he will prepare the whole structure at his factory ready to be erected. If you pay my room and board, I shall supervise the erection for you for free :-))))

Have a look at how they do it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmhOfGcmBUY


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

jill of alltrades, thank you for passing by. To this day this letter makes me laugh out loud. Imagine me the first time I read it. I brought the building down with my laughter. (It was one we had built) :-))


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Lisa, if you will not build with us, you don't know what you are missing!!! :-))


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

VioletSun, it's very hurtful to sensitive flowers like the De Greeks when people say we made them laugh but they do not bother to mark the thing up. Our ears droop down to our knees and we bray in anguish! Thank you for being one of the exceptions :-))

(Our spies are everywhere and we are watching you ... muahahahaaaaaa.......) :-)


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

Oh, this is hilarious. Only you could write something like that. Thank you for the joy to read.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Hello, Alan Streeter wrote this and as of now he is renowned for his sense of humour :-)))

Thank you for passing by :-)


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 6 years ago from Vermont, USA

Thanks for sharing this letter from Mr. Streeter. I will reread it whenever I need a good chuckle.

I hope his other letter to you was a bit more suitable to the promotion of your business.

Had you let the narrator read this letter before he had to talk up your buildings, he never would have gotten through the script without falling down laughing.

CP


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Actually Christopher, I put up both letters on the company's website at the time, next to each other :-))) Thanks for passing by :-)


tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 6 years ago from South Africa

Since 1994 the government has been struggling to provide decent housing to all the people of South Africa who were kept poor and homeless by the apartheid regime (and that's no joke!). It seems we need you and your building expertise here, Mr De Greek. The housing backlog is close to 1 million houses so you will make a killing if you take on the job.

O, but wait, you said you weren't coming to South Africa. I forgot. So someone else will have to come and help us!

This was a totally hilarious story, thanks for enlightening us!

Love and peace

Tony


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon

As usual, you make me laugh until I cry! Oh it wasn't so bad with the pool now converted to an underground conservatory (complete with snakes I might add) - or it was equaled out by the electrical fire.

Seriously though - who would want to live in those things in the videos? They are building homes now here of styrofoam - I have to question the health benefits of these materials to be honest! Or for crying out loud, why not just build a huge cooler and let's put our furniture in it.

You are a funny man!


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

.

- Brother Tony, if you have an investor, I can build homes cheaper AND BETTER than anyone elkse :-))

- IP, those homes could be turned into ZERO ENERGY homes with an additional investment of $30,000, so don't run them down. Can you imagine a lifetime of not paying for heating and cooling? - And it's Alan Streeter who is funny, not me :-)


nighthag profile image

nighthag 6 years ago from Australia

As always Loved it, but i am a little hesitant on the idea of ever building now :)


itakins profile image

itakins 6 years ago from Irl

De Greek

Needless to say another brilliantly funny piece-hats off to Mr. Sucker.

This method of building seems to be catching on here ,although there was almost a 'snobbery' on the part of traditional builders for a long time about concrete v wood.

My house is rather old,but when we extended it ,by converting an adjoining building,we used a similar type of technology-the hard foam also had foil backing on both sides,to minimise heat loss.That area of the house functions during winter with rads at the lowest setting....which is more than I can say for the original(despite upgrades).

Great humorous hub-and informative too!


Jane Bovary profile image

Jane Bovary 6 years ago from The Fatal Shore

So they have McMansions in Cyprus too...? That looks just like the estate I drive past on my way to Melbourne.

Hahaha...Mr. Sucker's letter really is funny.

It was interesting seeing you on video too De Greek, albeit briefly. I thought you looked very stylish.


I.M.A Sucker 6 years ago

Dear Dimitris,

Well, well, what a surprise, - I mean to find you alive and well, and chatting away on a website!! Of course, when your clothes were found on the beach at Larnaca, and the posses of police and your creditors spent weeks combing the shores looking for evidence as to whether your apparent demise was accidental, or deliberate, those of us who knew you, were instantly aware that you still inhabited your mortal coil.

I can imagine that it must gall you somewhat, to know that not everybody was taken in by your attempts to thwart not only the course of justice, (reckless endangerment of human life, contravention of all Cypriot building codes, employment of illegal immigrants, and of course there was the little matter of standing opposite the Nicosia girl’s gymnasium wearing your plastic raincoat, - and little else, were but a few of what I am sure should be regarded as ‘trumped up’ charges) as well as your creditors! It was these human hyenas I am sure that insisted on employing the pack of ‘investigators’, - four of whom were the same Bulgarian hit men that I commissioned prior to my therapy! Ironic eh? Take heart though Dimitris, cleverly changing your name to ‘De Greek’ from ‘Da Cypriot’ was a cunning ruse, and I suspect that the bulk underneath your shirt, encircling your waist, was not adipose tissue, but indeed several money belts, so you will also have altered your silhouette by now, having surely deposited the money somewhere safe, like under your bed.

When your sad pile of clothes were found resting on the sand at Larnaca beach, your friends, as soon as they read accounts of their discovery, knew that the police should be combing the manifests at Larnaca airport, and not the shoreline. I am sure that you must be asking yourself how we knew that death had not claimed you? Normally, a modest man, (with much to be modest about) it was vanity that let you down old chap! Your supporters, (three of us – me, my wife, and our psychiatrist), having seen you in swimming trunks, and aware of your shortcomings, instantly recognized when we became aware from the newspapers reports, that the jockstrap found on top of your shirt was ‘extra-large’, that you were still among the living.

However, do not fret, your secret is safe with us, although a recent report, following that Polly Peck rascal, Mr. Nadil, who recently returned to the UK, to face the outstanding charges also mentioned that there were reports of sightings of your good self in England. A sudden drop in violent crime here in Cyprus, might indicate that the ‘private investigators’ looking for you had moved elsewhere in their search.

There were also other sources of information as to your whereabouts, especially since the BBC started screening ‘Crimewatch’ twice a week. Solicitous, as always, for your well-being; I offer a little advice. Next time you decide to rob a bank, instead of an innocent house buyer, if you insist on wearing a pair of underpants over your head as a disguise, make sure that your name isn’t sewn into the waistband. Those damned CCTV cameras are a plague aren’t they?

Oh well, time for my daily therapy session, so I will bid you goodbye. Seven years since you started building our home, and sadly my sickly temperament is still a little damaged. Oh; the house fell down four years ago, by the way, but by a stroke of good fortune, we managed to get a largish tent very cheap from a second hand shop here in Cyprus, and it is such a joyful experience, living under the stars, although the summer heat was a little strong, and of course the lack of fresh water made life a little difficult. However, the mosquitoes were successful in diverting attention away from these trivial problems. Onward and upward as they say.

I.M.A. Sucker


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Alan, I am shocked! I thought better of Asil Nadir and never expected him to rat on me. And what is the world coming to, when a simple bank robbery is turned into an Interpol case?!!! Haven't they anything better to do?

Anyway Old Friend, I have missed you. If there is any money left, I have a very nice solid investment for you in real estate. It's on the moon and not on the dark side as some others are selling, but facing earth. I can let you have it cheap for old times sake :-))


Storytellersrus profile image

Storytellersrus 6 years ago from Stepping past clutter

Too funny. How have I missed your hubs up until now?


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Because you are a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD girl :-)


wilderness profile image

wilderness 6 years ago from Boise, Idaho

You don't build West of the pond, do you? Poor Mr. Suckers letter reminded my of building our first house!

One of your better ones, I think! I'm still laughing, an hour later. Thanks again - you are always worth reading. My belly hurts, though.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Hi there wilderness :-))) - You always have a good word to say, so thank you. I am trying to convince Alan Streeter to join HubPages and to share his amazing humorous talent with the rest of us :-)))


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 6 years ago

De Greek you are a man of sensitivity and romance, however you have over delivered in your comedy as usual. I had to pick myself off the floor twice now after rereading this wonderful letter. I can see you now as you read it for the first time falling off your chair.

Although there are crooked shady builders out in the real world of the construction and real estate industry.Believe me I have seen many in the years I sold new homes for a living. Customers complaining bitterly they took possession and moved in only to find the workmanship not up to standard and so many problems with the after service.

However the suckers who bought from these types of builders were crying out loud for justice and compensation for the damage they not only did to there house that they paid huge amounts of money for, but also for the mental anguish they were put through by management.

So although this letter is meant to be extremely funny and I agree it is and enjoyed reading it, there are actual real cases of this happening to the innocent home buyer who lays down huge amounts of money, but are conned and sucker punched by these shady builders.

Great hub, I enjoyed a great laugh to break the day. I rate it UP UP and UP


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Ken, I agree with what you said, BUT there is a bit BUT: Delays in the construction industry are common, because one relies so much on external factors, including the weather. We have come across countless crooked buyers who will wait for any delay in order to cheat at the last payment, using delay as an excuse, despite the fact that we undertook to pay them the cost of the rent of their property for any delay. We lost tens of thousands to crooks, some of them retirees who gave the impression that butter wouldn’t melt in their mouth. Don’t get me started :-)))

One client in particular had us built for her the timber frame only, in order to finish the building off with her own tradesmen. She wanted to use retired British workmen, because she did not trust Cypriots. The guy who build her fireplace placed it flush against the timber framed SIP wall and after 24 hours of heat at 400 degrees centigrade, the wall behind the fireplace went up in flames, burning half the building with it. According to her it was our fault! Go figure …

NOT FAIR!!!


msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago

ha ha ha...lol..Well done...Ohh

This is all a joke isn't it?


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

My clever girl!!!!! :-))


Gypsy Willow profile image

Gypsy Willow 6 years ago from Lake Tahoe Nevada USA , Wales UK and Taupo New Zealand

So funny, maybe you at your most humerous. Take heed though! there are rivals beating at your door!


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Well Raye, be sure that I enjoy Alan's humour as much as I enjoy mu own :-)))


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 6 years ago from Chicago

You continue to provide first rate humor to HubPages readers. You are an outstanding writer. You are creative and quite the wordsmith. Thank you for this pleasure.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

James, I have talked Alan Streeter into joining HubPages and you can get a good laugh from him here :

http://hubpages.com/literature/Bootnecks_introduct

Thank you for your kind words and for passingby :-)


itakins profile image

itakins 6 years ago from Irl

Oh dear my comment does seem terribly serious(feeling the burn)-but it is actually an interesting hub as well as extremely funny:-)


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

- itakins, you must think me terribly rude! I just realized that I have jumped over some comments to answer Alan, who is the man responsible for this Hub, and then forgot to go back. It was not intentional rudeness, so please accept my apologies :-)


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

nighthag - I have just realized that I have been unintentionally rude by ignoring your pleasant and kind comment. Please accept that it was not intentional. :-)


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Jane Bovary - As in the two cases above, I have just realized that I have been unintentionally rude by ignoring your visit and your kind comment. Please accept that it was not intentional and also accept my apologies :-)


itakins profile image

itakins 6 years ago from Irl

De Greek

What a gentleman:)No apology necessary-but greatly appreciated anyway.


Jane Bovary profile image

Jane Bovary 6 years ago from The Fatal Shore

De Greek, I realised it was the excitement of Mr. Sucker's appearance and didn't take it personally! Thanks for the acknowledgement though and I agree with Itakins...you ARE a gentlemen (and a very nice one at that).

Cheers


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

Oh - YOU! Truly king of the-straight-faced-SPOOF, you are!!

Surely only such world-class spoofsmanship could have devised this world-class whopper: - having the narrator of that tiresome video stir it up a bit by making the straight-faced claim that SIP construction has been shown to last for 600 YEARS!! -

Let's see - that would have placed its example among the island's Gothic-Byzantine architectural achievements, wouldn't it?

Only a mind such as yours could have devised such a preposterous claim for a very modern construction method to amuse and keep us on our toes!

It had me going even before I got to that jewel of the piece: - I.M.A Sucker's "heartfelt endorsement"!!!! i love the rubber gloves and the byproduct of lovely soft hands. But so many giggles! hahahahaha!! I'm super-over-and-under awed!! How DO you do it every time??


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

Dear heart - my computer is being very flaky. Would you be so kind as to remove that weirdly orphaned, pre-natal comment of mine which just jumped on there while I was still working on it - and went on without any ID, too! It will tidy up your comments capsule to be rid of it, as well! Thank you!


ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas

What a funny funny hub and hilarious letter. I felt so for the poor man aka the sucker. At least he has let bygones be bygones but I still wouldnt let you build my house. He he. Cheers and kudos.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

.

- itakins, Thank you :-)

- Jane, thank you too :-)

- Nellieanna, there are historical building made of timber which are over 800 years old, still in use and still going strong, so it is not a spoof to say so :-) Thank you for passing by and for your infectious girlish enthusiasm :-))

- LadyJane, is it possible that YOU would not trust me with building your house? Oh, that hurts :-)))


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

OH MY, Dear Darlin' Dimitris! Little did I know that the SIP building system, using double layers of structurally manufactured wood - (ie: Oriented Strand Board) with a layer of foam for insulation welded between them - had been in use for centuries! OH, dear, but you've corrected the assumption that SIP material was being manufactured hundreds of years ago as the reference on the video would imply, right?

So it's TIMBER - (as in felled trees sawed up into planks or boards) which has proven to have such longevity of service! 800 years is mind-boggling - but it's plausible that timber has been in use for centuries and was in use long before plywood, sheet metal or any of the other manufactured building materials. So if it doesn't rot and termites don't get at it or storms crumble it, why bother to change to the new manufactured material, if plain ole natural TIMBER can withstand the test of so much time? Even more pertinent, why even brng up the good qualities of timber if the intention is to sell the new material?

I'm in a daze now!

Could it be that this 9+ minute video was for promoting the lasting quality of plain ole TIMBER? Must have missed that detail! - All that advertising of the SIP system's value had me misled, I guess. Or maybe "TIMBER" is simply another generic name for this new material? Oh dear me - take pity on me & forgive such girlish confusion! (batting my eyes helplessly)


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

My Dear Nellieanna, if I were to try to explain the meaning of the video to every technically challenged person of limited knowledge who did not understand plain English, I would be doing nothing else for the rest of my life :-)))

But because I love you, I shall try to explain this once, so the even the meanest intelligence might comprehend:

1.- OSB is made from wood (or timber as you call it). Only difference is that it is STRONGER than natural wood. Why? Look it up on the Internet :-)

2.- The video explains the advantages of building with wood.

3.- Video also explains WHY OSB is stronger than ordinary wood (all you have to do is watch it with a modicum of good will).

4.- If there is no humidity or wood worm, WOOD WILL LAST FOR EVER! Plus, pound for pound it is stronger than steel!

5.- Video also shows how we protect the wood from termites and humidity.

6.- Since we DO protect our product from woodworm and humidity, our SIP structures should last for centuries – In fact, better than ordinary wood (or TIMBER as you call it)

7.- Since SIPS were only invented in the 1940's, regrettably we can only provide you with actual proof of their survival abilities only back to those glorious days. But according to accepted scientific studies, there is no obstacle to the survival of SIPs through the centuries.

8.- Perhaps a second viewing of the two sections of our video, might better assist your powers of comprehension.

9.- Always ready to satisfy your girlish curiosity in this and otehr matters :-)))


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

Thank you. Think I'll just let that hang in the air there,DG. My point is made by it anyway. Hugs.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

If you think that your point is made, then who am I to spoil your happiness, child :-)))


 6 years ago

Exactly my sentiments about your and your points. All's well that ends well.

It's less important at times that people of good will see eye to eye than it is that they see heart to heart.


2patricias profile image

2patricias 6 years ago from Sussex by the Sea

Very funny. But do you happen to own a share in a plumbing business in Sussex? We've got a feeling that you may be involved in a company that we have both used and come to love in a very special way.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

I am now thoroughly confused. Should I be flattered, or offended? :-))))

Thank you girls, for passing by :-)


lisadpreston profile image

lisadpreston 6 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

I had already read this hilarious hub before but as I was browsing through some of your hubs again I thought I would take another look. Good thing I did. I was here before the comment from IMA Sucker. Now I have to say that his comment was even more funny than the letter. I am laughing out loud so hard that my son is asking me what is so damn funny. And your response to the comment, Oh my goodness! The two of you are something else. It is rare to see such brilliance tied in with comedy. The way the two of you feed off of each other is just perfect. I see a book here. The comedic wit that the two of you share surpasses all. The two of you must continue the builder/homebuyer relationship via letters and email and then publish it. This is a must, because it is too good. Now I must go and explain to my son what is so damn funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Love, Lisa


lisadpreston profile image

lisadpreston 6 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

I am emailing this hub to my grandmother who is in Florida for the winter and all of her friends. They love this kind of humor. You remember granny. You had asked me when were we going to execute her! LOl.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Lisa, I have talked Alan Sreeter into joining HubPages and you can read his hilarious stories here:

http://hubpages.com/@bootneck

As for your Granny, if she likes this kind of humor, perhaps we should forget about doing her in :-))))


lisadpreston profile image

lisadpreston 6 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

hahahahahaha. Yes, I saw him when he first joined and read and commented on a few hubs. I also am a fan of course, of his. But I still smell a book with these letters and emails. Granny will be glad to know you have reconsidered us doing her in. She had read that comment, laughed and considered doing me in with her rolling pin! Trust me, we aren't the first to want her executed, but for other reasons! She's a character. Don't be surprised if your hub becomes a chain letter. Granny is good for sending funny things like this to everyone she knows via email. And she knows thousands of people. Sorry.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

How anyone would want to do away with that saint of a woman I shall never know :-)))


Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem 6 years ago from Philippines

For giving me my first good laugh today, I vote up this awesome endorsement. Very good. You're such a prolific writer for the many surprises you got in your sleeves. I just endorsed you likewise in my anniversary hub! That's because I'm grateful to all your support the year through! Thank you.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

HI LITA, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN AND THANK YOU :-)


Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee 6 years ago from Ontario/Canada

DG this is way too funny. Hilarious as a matter of fact.

loved the hub

greetings to you and De wife from a cold, damp and windy Ontario

Zsuzsy


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Alan is a funny man :-)

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