Spring Fever: It ain't what it used to be

It's a pollen explosion!

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Even the Sun is sneezing!
Even the Sun is sneezing! | Source

A new definition of Spring Fever

Gone are the days when spring fever meant lying in the porch swing on a lovely day, mooning over the opposite sex and baseball or goin’ fishing. It wasn’t just a guy thing. We girls did that, too, you know. Today spring fever means a temperature of 101 degrees F and sneezing until one becomes dizzy, resulting in a trip to the doctor, then coming home with a bag full of antihistamines, antibiotics, and cortisone nasal spray, all with a price tag of a couple of hundred dollars, not to mention a stop at Walmart for a three-box pack of tissues, the he-man size.

Spring fever includes carrying a pocket or purse full of tissues and worrying about where to dispose of the used ones. I remember when Mama, a true Southern belle, admonishing me for not always carrying a clean handkerchief in my purse. I responded that if I owned any hankies, I had no idea where they were, and that I always had a mini pack of tissues handy. The inevitable happened; she gave me a box of pretty handkerchiefs for Christmas. I carried one just to please her until along came spring and the usual spring allergies. It took only a couple of sneezing fits to completely soak the dainty dimity square and I learned that fabric hankies, like cloth diapers, only hold so much before they have to be changed. Disposables are made for a reason. Out came the tissues again.

Ah, spring fever. Even the cars are affected. My what-could-otherwise-be-boring Prius is a hot color called Salsa Red, or at least it was originally. Maybe it will be again someday, but right now it has taken on the greenish-yellow glow of spring, and so has everybody else’s vehicles. One co-worker said that she rinsed off her car before she came to work. I’m not that industrious. I just pray for rain.

I’m glad I don’t let my pets go outside anymore. A black cat of previous years would come in looking like 18th Century nobility in a powdered wig, and I couldn’t go near the poor boy until he’d had a bath. That made him happy! Then HE developed spring allergies and couldn’t go outside during plant pollination season. Nothing is more pathetic than a black cat with red itchy eyes, a runny nose and the sneezes. We shared the recliner and comiserated together.

As if spring fever isn’t bad enough, we now have to contend with daylight savings time. Just when we are feeling our seasonal worst, we run the clocks forward and get up an extra hour early in the name of more daylight at the end of the day. Frankly, I like daylight savings time and wish we could keep it the year-round, but the majority of people don't. Then we have to listen to them complain until standard time rolls back around in October. Keep it forever, and they'll never know the difference. Somehow I never catch up on the hour of sleep I lose when I’m most vulnerable either. Add that lethargy to my already overtaxed body.

This spring has added insult to injury. My Rock of Gibraltar, that no-nonsense, no-allergy man of mine had to make a trip to the emergency room. The diagnosis: spring allergies. After a shot in the gluteus maximus, Mr. B came home with the usual medications and an attitude. “They’re crazy,” he whined, “I doan ‘ave allergies!” At least that’s what I think he said between the hacking, sneezing, snorting, the complaints that the tissues weren’t big enough, and the order for me to buy him some man-sized Kleenex.

“No, but I’ll tell you what you do have,” I answered.

“Whut?!” He responded in his inimitable way.

“You have the most serious case of denial I’ve ever encountered.” I said matter-of-factly.

“No I doan!” he exclaimed. "Koff, koff."

Nuff said.

Anyway, spring is my favorite season of the year, or it could be if Mother Nature weren’t so enthusiastically prolific. All the love making between the trees, the weeds, and the flowers newly erupted from the earth only raise my histamine level, not my enthusiasm. Little Devas, are you getting this? Keep it down out there!

I just wish I could go back to those days of lying in the big yard swing that hung between the two hickory trees. After school, I would stare at the pale blue sky and count the white fluffy clouds and sigh, wishing my life away that school would soon be out for the summer. No sneezing, no sealing the windows and shutting myself up under the air conditioning waiting for the greenish-yellow sticky residue on the cars and the back deck to go away. Those were the days.

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Comments 22 comments

CrisSp profile image

CrisSp 3 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

Oh MizBejabbers, what a nice read, the fact that Spring is my favorite season too. Well, except for the allergies and all that sneezing that comes along.

We're currently sitting at 2 degree C in my part of the world. There were still flurries last couple of days and last night some rain and roaring thunder and lightning. I take that as a refreshing sign of spring. She's only quite behind but she's coming. Well, not exactly as it used to be as you said in this hub (those days were gone) but at least, she's bringing color back to life-Spring!

Happy spring!


billybuc profile image

billybuc 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

Sheez, I'm so sorry you have so much trouble. Bev is the allergy sufferer in our family. I get of Scott-free every year. The older I get the more I cross my fingers that my luck will hold out another year.

Feel better soon my friend.


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 3 years ago Author

Hey, friend Bill, keep those fingers crossed! I wasn't joking about Mr. B's coming down with allergies in the last couple of years, and he isn't taking it very well. Congratulations that you aren't plagued with them. Life can get miserable without proper treatment. Tell Bev to hang in there.


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 3 years ago Author

CrisSp, spring is wonderful, most of the time. It is expected to be 81 F. here today, so I sympathize with your 2 C. Thanks for reading and commenting.


ImKarn23 profile image

ImKarn23 3 years ago

Who - i mean WHO doesn't like daylight savings time??? Lemme at em!! lol..

i adore spring - and the more light the better - i suffer from allergies year round so - no shots in this old butt..lol

i hate handkerchiefs - they're gross...altho- i will make a confession if you promise not to tell a soul..

when i have a really bad cold - or allergy attack - i'll use a couple old hand towels instead of going through boxes of weak little 'tissues'..

i know - gross, but - so are handkerchiefs..

ps...men, sickness and denial go together like chocolate, peanutbutter and ME...lol)


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 3 years ago Author

ImKarn23, love your reply. I just wish we could convince the world that DST should be kep year-round. After all, time is arbitrary.The towels are a great idea. I think Mr.B has given up on tissues and has gone through a roll of paper towels. You reminded me of a silly, but true story. When my oldest son was 13, he suffered a bad allergy attack and carried his big Boy Scout handkerchief in his pocket. He and his little brother were stopped by a security guard in a TG&Y store one day because of the big lump in his pocket. When he was ordered to "hand over" the possessions, he told the guard, "you really don't want me to." She insisted, so he handed her his really pathetic hankie. She recoiled and he told her, "See I told you that you didn't want it." She said "ugh" and told him go on Kid. My younger son said that the hankerchief was so soiled that "it crackled". Disgusting story, but we still laugh about it. Thanks for the humerous comment.


kashmir56 profile image

kashmir56 3 years ago from Massachusetts

Hi my friend, great article on spring fever and a very great read . I suffer year round with my allergies but more so when the weather changes fast from hot to cold or cold to hot .

Vote up and more !!! Sharing !


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 3 years ago Author

Thank you, Kashmir56. I sympathize with anyone who has allergies year round because I do too. I have eliminated some of them, though, because we discovered that they were food allergies. My seasonal allergies are pretty rough, but they aren't quite as severe since eliminating certain foods from my diet. Have you tired that?

Thanks for the vote and share!


midget38 profile image

midget38 3 years ago from Singapore

Ow. What allergies can do! Glad that he's back on track. Thanks for sharing MizBejabbers!


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 3 years ago Author

Yes, he's down to just regular-sized tissues now, and I can sleep back in our room. Had to move out for a few days. Thanks for the read and the comment.


moonlake profile image

moonlake 3 years ago from America

No allergies here yet but we're hoping by next week that sounds awful but we're sick of cold and snow.

Why is it men never believe their doctors or their wives. My husband was up 4 times last night with leg cramps. The fourth time I got up with him and put wet hot cloths on his legs, the cramps went away. I told him he should do that earlier in the evening but he didn't believe me.

Enjoyed reading your hub. Glad your hubby is doing better and hope you are too.


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 3 years ago Author

Moonlake, I know there are a lot of remedies for leg cramps, but one that always worked for me was salt. If I go low sodium I get leg cramps, and I find that the amount of salt in one little McDonald's salt packet is enough to eliminate them. One of my friends had to go off Lipitor because of body aches and leg cramps. Just a thought. I'm glad you aren't suffering from allergies at least. We are both doing a little better now that the pollen isn't so strong. Thanks for reading and commenting.


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

Boy, I sure can relate, as I am having the worse case of spring fever . . . itching and watering eyes, sneezing, headaches, you name it, I have the full onset of spring fever. I love spring, but my body does not!

Great hub here of the real fun of having spring fever.

God bless, Faith Reaper


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 3 years ago Author

Bless you, too, Faith Reaper. I hope yours gets better. I'm OK now as long as I don't stay outside very long.


midget38 profile image

midget38 3 years ago from Singapore

I wish that we could have all four seasons here! Thanks for sharing, MizBejabbers!


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 3 years ago Author

Singapore, wow! I'm unfamiliar with the climate there. I really don't like it here when it is in the 20s or the 100s, so I wish it could stay in the 70s and high 80s year-around. I probably would get bored with that after a while, though. Thanks for commenting.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

Oh how I know how you feel! lol! I have sneezed so much my nose has packed up and left home! its not so bad now, but a couple of weeks ago I couldn't go out! your story of your husband made me laugh, man flu? nah, just hay fever!


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 3 years ago Author

Thanks, Nell, he was really quite funny, except when I was having to deal with him. Thank goodness, the worst is over and we are beginning to normal. I appreciate the read and the comment.


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 2 years ago from The Beautiful South

Oh my poor mother suffered so miserably with all that, she lived with a kleenex in her hand and no allergy prescription gave her relief. Now she is gone I quite accidentally found out the cheap OTC benedryll type (antihistamine) I pick up 30 for a dollar or less (generic) keeps my nose and head clear. She could have enjoyed life so much better. I think it is a secret doctors just do not tell us. It made me super relaxed or sleepy at first but now I am use to it and only take at bedtime anyway or if I need it of the day I use just a teaspoon of the liquid or 1/2 tablet. ^


Brett.Tesol profile image

Brett.Tesol 2 years ago from Somewhere in Asia

So well told, nice to see this personal view on a growing problem. Maybe we all keep our babies so well protected, that they don't develop the defences. Whatever the reason. it is common and it really is TIRING!

Shared with followers, pinned and tweeted. Oh n voted too ;-)


Kathryn Stratford profile image

Kathryn Stratford 2 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

This is so funny and amusing! Thanks for sharing this with us.

I just shared this here on HubPages, and pinned it on my new "humor" board.

Have a great weekend.

~ Kathryn


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 2 years ago Author

Jackie, Brett, and Kathryn: I'm so glad you enjoyed my viewpoint on allergies! I am home right now with a broken leg (slipped on ice Jan. 2) and just wish I could get out. Now I've discovered that I have indoor allergies. Mr. B says its the cats. It can't be! (Am I in denial?) Thank you for the shares, comments, and vote.

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