Airborne (2012)

Airborne is a British horror movie that stars Mark Hamill, Gemma Atkinson and Alan Ford and is directed by Dominic Burns. It’s also one of those movies that doesn’t take it’s self too serious and there for isn’t at all that bad and yet it’s no good either. It falls in between being stale and forgettable.

Airborne opens with a rather annoying and cheesy voice over done by Hamill that doesn’t really build to anything. After the intro we meet our characters mainly a flight controller, two British soldiers, three gangsters, and a whole slew of other forgettable characters. Once up in the air thing began to go bad as people began to disappear soon the crew and passengers realize that things are more complicated then they seem. What ensues is an hour and twenty-one minutes of people running around on a supposed turbulence aircraft, people trying to act tough and a whole lot of pointless dialogue.

The whole plot is bonkers as it makes no sense, the dialogue is head scratching and the acting is mediocre at best. One of the opening scenes showings all of the flights being cancelled because of a storm yet throughout the whole movie people are running around on the plane. There are a lot of little things like that that make this movie a bit of a headache. I can’t get to the rest without ruining the “twist” so I won’t. The Dialogue and acting are pretty much in the same boat as they are all over the place. Most of the character do stupid things that no one would do. For example at the start of the movie there is one character with a bad hangover. All he wants to do is get on the plan and sleep but he ends up seating next to a big fat guy who does nothing but talk. Somehow the man falls asleep anyways and he quickly realizes that the other man is gone. So what does he do? He gets up and goes looking for the man and ends up staring at an older man who he believes is died for some odd reason. Random things like this tend to make up the whole movie.

None of the actors stand out except for Hamill who has just a few pointless minutes on screen as a retiring flight controller who does nothing to further the plot and Alan Ford who plays a gun launder named Max from Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch fame. It’s a typical performance by Ford but still one that at least captures your interest if only for a few minutes.

The whole movie wasn’t as bad as it might seem but you really have to suspend logic and just go with the flow. It makes for an okay time waster and there are worse movies out there that you could waste your time on. Overall I recommend this to anyone who just needs 80 minutes to kill, 2 ½ out of 5.

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