All About Scarlett Johansson, But Mostly About Her Eternally Wonderful Breasts
Eternally may be pushing things a bit here, but Scarlett Johansson does have rather nice breasts, in fact they seem to be one of her most prominent and popular features. With them she has won many conquests, for example, she reportedly stole Cameron Diaz's boyfriend, the ever cutesy Justin Timberlake. (I'll just take a little aside here to point out that Justin seems not to age at all. He's been around for years now and if you asked me how old he was I'd probably just stare at his picture for a long time before going mad. The guy is ageless. It's freaky. It may be unnatural.) Justin moved on to Jessica Biel, who keeps her assets in her ass region, so I guess we can extrapolate from that that JT is really more of an ass man. Put that one in the record books, why don't you.
But back to Scarlett Johansson. Now, for the life of me, I actually can't think of a single thing that Scarlett Johansson has been in apart from that Justin Timberlake music video. This probably reflects more on my 15 second attention span than Scarlett's career, but she's mentioned here because it would seem that Scarlett just can't help pushing those breasts out on almost any occasion.
Is there more to Scarlett than her mammaries? I turned to imdb for help, where I discovered that Scarlett first got her big break on 'East Enders'. That explained why I hadn't heard much of her before apart from having her breasts constantly pushed at me in a cyber sort of way. In case you're not British, East Enders is the sort of television show that will make you wish you were dead inside about 15 minutes of watching it. Some people like it, well, a lot of people like it. I'm not one of them.
Scarlett also appeared in Home Alone 3 (called 3 because that was the number of people who bothered to see the third installment of this series), Eight Legged Freaks, and The SpongeBob SquarePants movie, (which I would consider to be the pinnacle of anyone's career) as well as a few others. If you want to check them all out for yourselves, go here don't make me do all your listing for you, why are you people so lazy? Seriously, sometimes guys, sometimes you all just make me wonder.
Essentially, she has a fairly decent Filmography, (she's no Meg Ryan, but then again, who is. Apart from Meg Ryan of course.) but it's not a huge one. In fact, I think Lindsay Lohan might have her beat on the body of work front. Which means, I guess, that what it is really all about, at the end of the day, is her breasts.
I have a sneaking suspicion that there may be a fair bit of talent hidden away behind those things, but they ride so high and prominent that Scarlett's light sometimes seems to be hidden behind the bushel of her breasts.
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