An Embarrassing Trip to The Movie Theater

A True Story

One Saturday afternoon I finally decided to go to a movie I had been waiting to see. I dug through the closet to find the phone book and went to the couch to sit down. It was a fairly new couch covered in tan micro-suede. When I sat down I heard a noise that reminded me of the sound corduroy pants make when you walk. Looking down I noticed I had sat down where two cushions met so I stood up and sat down again. I heard the same noise so I figured it was the cushions rubbing together. The recording at the theater said the next showing was in 30 minutes. If I wanted to see the movie today I had to leave this very second. It was a nice summer day but I quickly grabbed a jacket before leaving because some theaters can be a little chilly.

When I arrived the parking lot was relatively full so I parked a fair distance away. The main entrance to this particular theater is located in the center of an outdoor mall. On the corner there is a coffee shop and a few restaurants where people were dining outside. Benches strung throughout the mall were filled with people. Kids screamed and laughed as they chased each other around the planters. It was the perfect afternoon, not too hot and not too cold.

Standing 6' tall I have fairly long legs and a quick stride. Walking to the theater doors I politely passed a gentleman and two boys who were about 7 years old. When I reached the door to the theater I stopped to hold the door for the man and two boys. The boys entered first and the man stopped to quietly say "mam, the back of your pants are ripped". I quickly reached behind to feel my bottom and felt a bare butt. Of course this would be a day I chose to wear a thong.

My mind began to race. What should I do standing here with my bottom hanging out? I dreaded passing all those people again if I were to head to the car to leave. Surely any laughter they contained before would definitely come out with a second glance. How many people standing in line at the theater already knew? After my initial panic my brain began to work again and I remembered the jacket. I quickly tied it around my waist and took my chances in the theater line. Luckily no one laughed and the dark theater became the perfect hiding spot from embarrassment.

When I returned home and took off the khaki pants I bought 2 weeks ago, I discovered they were ripped from the waistband to the crotch. No wonder I only felt a bare butt, the whole thing was exposed! Thinking of the 2 boys I passed I was thankful they didn't blurt out a genius expression kids are known for. Most of the friends who have heard this story are puzzled that I didn't feel some sort of breeze when I walked. If the temperature outside had not been perfect I think I would have.


People Sitting Outside the Theater Complex I Visited
People Sitting Outside the Theater Complex I Visited | Source

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Comments 37 comments

Millionaire Tips profile image

Millionaire Tips 5 years ago from USA

Wow that would have embarrassing for me as well. Lucky you had the jacket and were still able to enjoy the movie.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

Hi, Oh my God! ha ha! I am hiding behind my hands just reading it! I would have been mortified! well done for handling it so well! really funny, sorry!! at least there was one good thing came out of it, at least you were wearing thongs and not granny pants! hee hee!


Jennifer Essary profile image

Jennifer Essary 5 years ago from Idaho Author

Millionaire Tips - It was definitely one of the most embarrassing moments in my life. Although, I'm sure most of us would feel that way. Thank's for sharing your time and comment : )


Jennifer Essary profile image

Jennifer Essary 5 years ago from Idaho Author

Nell - I'm not sure which underwear would be worse. Big flowery grandma bloomers, dingy whites, or a thong? I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Writing it I lost some of the humor the story once gave me, I guess that happens. Thanks for reading and commenting : )


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

Jennifer...it was very nice of the man to tell you that your butt was being exposed, most people would not say anything. Thanks for sharing your funny yet embarrassing story!


Jennifer Essary profile image

Jennifer Essary 5 years ago from Idaho Author

Sunshine - Yes, although I was embarrassed I am now grateful that man told me. I'm happy you got a laugh out of my story.


wilderness profile image

wilderness 4 years ago from Boise, Idaho

LOL A great story - thanks.

That photo looks an awful lot like the IMAX at Edwards Theaters in Boise. Are we neighbors (from Meridian)?


Jennifer Essary profile image

Jennifer Essary 4 years ago from Idaho Author

Wilderness, we are indeed neighbors!


SanneL profile image

SanneL 4 years ago from Sweden

Oh my, this is just too embarrassing! However, you sure did handle it very well.

Just a thought; what would you have done, without your lifesaving jacket?

Thanks for sharing this horror story with us!

You deserve a vote and I'm pushing the funny button!


Jennifer Essary profile image

Jennifer Essary 4 years ago from Idaho Author

SanneL, I don't know what I would have done without my jacket. Put my hands or purse over my bottom and run away perhaps? Thanks for voting and sharing your time : )


justateacher profile image

justateacher 4 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

Very funny! Glad that wasn't me that it happened to! I don't think I would have handled it as well as you.


moonlake profile image

moonlake 4 years ago from America

Funny. I have had some pretty embarrassing moments myself. Some worse then yours. I once put my blouse on backwards and didn't know it until I got home. The blouse wasn't the worst one.


Jennifer Essary profile image

Jennifer Essary 4 years ago from Idaho Author

Justateacher - I am still grateful today that I had the jacket with me. I don't know what I would have done without it.

Moonlake - I've put a shirt on backwards before. When I discover it, it finally occurs to me why I felt like I was being choked.

Thanks to you both for stopping by : )


rutley profile image

rutley 4 years ago from South Jersey

Great! See if my embarrassing hub interests you!


epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

....best thong story of all time - wish I was there actually - do you model for the Sports Ilustrated swimsuit edition - lol lol - if you do please autograph a copy for me as I will now become your 95th or 96th follower with a posting of this great and funny story to my Facebook page with a direct link back here - and what makes this story is you just happen to be a great writer - lake erie time ontario canada 6:35pm a fellow hub hopper who wishes you also a happy new year with warm wishes for your health and happiness


Daisy Mariposa profile image

Daisy Mariposa 4 years ago from Orange County (Southern California)

Jennifer,

Thanks for sharing your story with us.

rutley and you have something in common...laugh-out-loud funny Hubs dealing with an embarrassing moment.

What movie did you see?


Jennifer Essary profile image

Jennifer Essary 4 years ago from Idaho Author

Daisy, I'm glad you were able to laugh out loud. This particular day I went to the theater was back in 2004. I have no idea what movie I saw but it was probably a romantic comedy.


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

OMG you must have been as red as a beetroot on all 4 cheeks. Lol. This is so funny, sorry to be laughing.

Voting this up


Jennifer Essary profile image

Jennifer Essary 4 years ago from Idaho Author

Rosemay50, "red as a beetroot on all 4 cheeks" has me laughing too. Thanks for returning the smile and voting : )


princesswithapen profile image

princesswithapen 4 years ago

"..Of course this would be a day I chose to wear a thong" Haha Epic!

Hilarious, although I'm sure at that very moment it was anything but that.

Princesswithapen


Rusticliving profile image

Rusticliving 4 years ago from California

Hahaha. That was as funny as my hub about my mom and the great shakedown! What is it about going to the movie theatre??? So so funny. Thanks for "Bare-ing" your soul to us! Voted up and definitely shared!


Daisy Mariposa profile image

Daisy Mariposa 4 years ago from Orange County (Southern California)

Jennifer,

I read this article five weeks ago, but I was in need of a laugh today, so I came back for a second visit.

Thanks, once again, for *telling* all.


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

Jennifer, this really made me laugh but I also thought how much I would dread it! Your jacket was what covered your blushes (so to speak, just as well you had it with you.


Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

Marcy Goodfleisch 4 years ago from Planet Earth

I'm with Jools - I literally burst out laughing - the thong was the breaking point! I almost asked whether you had the nerve to show your face there again, but I realized they probably weren't looking at it anyway! Voted up & funny.


Jennifer Essary profile image

Jennifer Essary 4 years ago from Idaho Author

Thank you ladies for stopping by and sharing a laugh. Your comments made me laugh as well. Thanks : )


Curiad profile image

Curiad 4 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

Laughs, not at you but with you :)

Great story and Hub!

Voted UP!


Rolly A Chabot profile image

Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

I needed a smile... hugs for the draft... you are brave.

Hugs from Canada


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon

oh wow... what a story! LOLed!


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 4 years ago from New York

I could barely contain myself! Seriously, it sounds like something that would happen to me..but with my luck I wouldn't meet a nice old man who would tell me. Nicely written. Voted up.


Jennifer Essary profile image

Jennifer Essary 4 years ago from Idaho Author

Rolly, Hugs and Smiles right back at you : )

PDXKaraokeGuy and tillsontitan, I'm happy I gave you both a chuckle even if it was at my expense.


Deb Welch 4 years ago

This is a great true embarrassing moment story. Loved it. Yes - the jacket at the last moment was the perfect remedy. Nell Rose's Comment made me laugh out loud - she's truly the best Brit. I know it wasn't funny to you but funny to everyone else until such things happen to us. Thanks for sharing.


Jennifer Essary profile image

Jennifer Essary 4 years ago from Idaho Author

Deb, you are correct. It definitely wasn't funny to me at the time but I think true life mishaps make for some of the funniest stories. Thanks for stopping by : )


AudraLeigh 4 years ago

What a funny moment! I like when people share their personal side! And you had a thong on...lol! You did a great job writing this and was wasy to follow! It gave me a chuckle this morning :)

ps...Can I ask how this went through the HP powers that be without it becoming to personal? Any tips?


Jennifer Essary profile image

Jennifer Essary 4 years ago from Idaho Author

AudraLeigh, I'm glad my story gave you a chuckle. Thankfully most stories that involve rear-end mishaps are usually hilarious. Thanks for stopping by : )


rajan jolly profile image

rajan jolly 3 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

Jennifer, I'm glad you were saved more embarrassment by the jacket you were carrying. Funny things do happen sometimes.


Perspycacious profile image

Perspycacious 23 months ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

Just imagine what could have happened had you not been so courteous as to hold the door for the boys and gentleman who was considerate enough to alert you to your embarassment before you became the butt of snickering as to what was showing at the theater that night.


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 5 months ago from Jamaica

LOL hahaha, that was funny. So thankful no one laughed. Than man was a real gentleman :)

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