Miley Cyrus Advice, Comments and Jokes - SAAAY WHAT?
Notes from a fan:
Hello, Miley! I’ve been a big fan of yours for many years, following your career closely since your days at Disney, where you produced lots of teenage, comedic fun with your portrayal of Hannah Montana, that wig-swapping country gal from Tennessee.
Now you’re a pop star and actress, living in sprawl city, aka Los Angeles, and showing yourself to be the self-possessed adult who’s determined to be what she wants to be and do what she wants to do. This is cool, of course, and I’d like to continue my Miley mania by offering advice, comments and jokes, hoping I can influence you in a way that promotes your good health and happiness.
So here it goes. I’ll simply pick topics at random and impart my wisdom, such as it is, and maybe provide some understanding and even some laughs along the way. We could all use a few more laughs, couldn’t we?
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Last Monday night I saw you on The Voice, where you have a gig as a judge, and when a singer selected you as her coach or mentor, you jumped up and did a moon walk, which was decidedly cool and exciting. And, at one point, you told everybody you had “personality” and that’s one of the reasons singers should pick you. Well, you certainly have the best personality among the judges, that’s for sure. Anyway, I hope you win the competition and, better yet, help inspire young artists to become awesome singers!
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I’m glad you did some acting in Woody Allen’s series, Crisis in Six Scenes on Amazon Video. You play a long-haired hippie girl named Lucy. This seems a serious part, you performed drama, well comedy-drama, and I hope you learned a lot from the experience. At any rate, I hope to see you playing many more dramatic or comedic roles and maybe you’ll win an Emmy, Oscar or something. You could become America’s answer to Cate Blanchett. Do it, babe!!!
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I’m excited to hear about your fifth studio album, Miley Cyrus & Her Dead Petz, and I was mind-blown when I heard you were offering it for free online streaming. Only a truly generous gal would give away her music! I also appreciate your advocacy for animal rights. Of course, I know you’re vegan. It seems you love animals so much you refuse to eat them - or wear them. And it seems safe to suggest the world would be a healthier place if people stopped consuming animal flesh!
* * *
Saturday Night Live is back for another season, and you were there, Miley, hosting for the third time and performing as the musical guest for the second time. Seems like everything is right with the universe, ya know? Anyway, they put you in most of the sketches, which I like to see. Hey, your hair is longer these days – lots of extensions, at least. What’s up with that? Anyway, it seems one day you may challenge others for being the host the most times – 16, at last count. You can do it, chica – you’re much younger than guys like Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin!
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I saw you at the 2015 induction ceremony for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. You “inducted” Joan Jett, which was an incredibly cool thing to do, ya know? It seems you idolize Joan, is that the way to put it? Anyway, later Paul McCartney inducted Ringo Starr, and then everybody, including you, sang along as Paul and Ringo led the way through the Beatle classic, “With a Little Help from My Friends.” That was a stellar experience, babe, one I’ll never forget!
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I’m really excited about your Backyard Sessions. It’s fun seeing you perform with artists such as the classic rocker, Joan Jett, and tiny Ariana Grande. I don’t know of any other pop stars who are publicizing their backyard gatherings, parties or concerts. Who does that? Just you! Anyway, I think because of this and your many accomplishments to date, including your establishment of the Happy Hippie Foundation, you’ve become the greatest pop star under the age of 25. Or would you rather be the greatest rock star in that category? Lemme know. Hey, I’ll be watchin’ ya!
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I was wondering if you’d appear on SNL’s 40th Anniversary show. After all, you’ve been on the show twice. Anyhow, you sang “Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover” and took a bow as one of SNL’s many hosts over the years. I was very proud of you, Miles. You’ve accomplished much in your young life and appearing many times on SNL is certainly another feather in your bonnet. Is it time for you to get a SNL tattoo? Hahahahahahahahahahaha!
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I watched some of your Bangerz Tour on the NBC special and otherwise. (Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to watch one of your shows live (Bummer)! Anyway, I can’t believe what an extravagant attraction this show was. It must have cost a load of bucks to make and all that stuff, ya know? I was really impressed with the choreography of your dancers and the antics of those special characters such as Abe Lincoln and Bill Clinton. What a hoot! I was made teary-eyed by watching the “Kiss Cam” as you sang “Adore You.” (May Floyd rest in peace.) Hearing your version of “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” was fun too, especially when your bro played the guitar while you sang. Lemme know when you’re going on tour again. Perhaps I can tag along with my private jet. Ha-ha. Love ya, babe!
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Regarding recent episodes of SNL, I saw you in one hosted by Ed Norton. You had a very small though very funny part, in which you “twerked” while wearing the costume of a Southern belle. What a hoot, babe! Also, on a related note, I saw an episode of South Park, in which the producers alluded to you and your performance on the current VMA show. It appears twerking is a great way to garner publicity for a young starlet. Hahahahahahahahahaha!
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You have a new single - "Wrecking Ball." I love the title! This is a torchy song with an explosive chorus. But, at one point, I really wanted to hear a moody guitar, sax or keyboard solo. Whatever happened to those?... I guess what I’m saying is that I want to hear more instrumentation in your songs. Sorry! As for the video, I liked seeing you swing on that wrecking ball - with little more than boots on. Anyway, keep on drillin' and chillin'!
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“We Can’t Stop” is a single with a catchy beat and the video is enjoyable to watch, very funny in places, with lots of sexual poses thrown in, what the heck. Rock videos must have them, right? Could Madonna have reached stardom without including risqué scenes in her videos and performances? But her chaste libertine routine is so twentieth century, don’t you think?
Anyhow, I noticed that many people wrote the lyrics in “We Can’t Stop,” including you, Miley Ray Cyrus. You gotta love those group efforts - the more the merrier. Big songs, big parties, they go together. But the parties shouldn’t get so big that lines form in the bathroom. Ha-ha! You know what I mean, Billy Jean?
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You produced another song recently, this one with Snoop Lion. I like the beat in “Ashtrays and Heartbreaks,” but I must admit I’m little puzzled by the meaning of the lyrics, though that happens a lot with me and rock tunes. Also, I was hoping to hear a hot guitar solo in the middle. That’s just me, ya know? At any rate, let’s hear more new songs, okay?
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I’ve really enjoyed watching you on Two and a Half Men. This is a big change from your work on Hannah Montana; now you’re performing “adult” humor. I don’t really have any advice regarding this career advancement, just keep doing more acting. Then, in a flash, you could have your own TV show – if you want it, that is. Why don’t you?
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I’ve read about some of your recent “tweets.” You seem to like quoting scientists such as Krauss and Einstein, who speak of exploding stars and the origin of matter. Anyway, keep your attention on spirituality, as well, as expressed by the Buddha, Jesus of Nazareth or whomever. Maintaining a kind of “duality” could serve you well in the future. You seem to like collecting statues of Buddha too. You should get a Golden Reclining Buddha. They’re the best!
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Well, I guess it’s time to talk about smoking. Now that you’ve reached your twenties, you’re old enough to smoke Salvia divinorum or other “herbals” such as marijuana. But keep in mind there’s some incredibly addictive substances out there. Don’t ever touch any of that devilish stuff! If you want some names – just ask me. At any rate, you might think twice about allowing people to video you while you’re partying hardy. Of course, these days, cameras seem to be everywhere, right? It’s hard to avoid them! That’s all I have to say about that, my precious Smileykins.
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It looks like you’ve got your own show on Saturday Night Live. They make you and Billy Ray look silly, of course, as you knew they would. But I think the “The Miley Cyrus Show,” as they call it, is in good taste, as SNL sketches usually are. Also, I think Vanessa Bayer does a good impersonation of your nonstop, miles-a-minute speaking style. So, girl, it seems you’ve made the big time! By the way, do you always say “pretty cool”? Hahahahahahahahaha!
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Moving on about SNL, you probably realize that whenever you do something – silly, foolish or whatever – you may see a parody of it on the “The Miley Cyrus Show.” I guess this is an example of art imitating life – or is it the other way around?!... I find this whole process very interesting, don’t you?
What did I say about art imitating life? Once I saw you get a “Bob Marley cake” on your nineteenth birthday, I knew SNL would do another episode of the “Miley Cyrus Show,” and there it was! You knew it was going to happen too, didn’t you? Hahahahahahahahahaha!
Always at your service,
Hey, everybody, please leave a comment!
Here's the link to another Miley Cyrus story . . .
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