Sex and the City's Role in Limiting Qualilty Relationships: Are there Really Soul Mates?

Sex and The City

Right of the bat I must admit that I am not a gushy proponent of the idea that there is any one person that meets all of the criteria that one may seek, or think they need in a partner. I always disliked the HBO’s Sex and the City , not because I am male and have discerning taste for quality programming, but because the lead characters quest for the “perfect” mate was unsettling. In fact, I think Sex and the City did and does a huge disservice to women, and in turn their prospective men, by essentially presenting the idea that women are somehow insufficient human beings if they don’t have a man, let alone the perfect man. Miss Bradshaw often first saw all the qualities she wanted in a man early on in a relationship but as soon as one thing didn’t fit her fancy she called it off and felt sorry for herself in a pile of designer shoes. In my opinion, the reality of finding a partner that works for both of you, and will stand the test of time, is that one doesn’t “find” a soul mate, but actually the two develop into that match made in heaven.

Now I am not, nor have been a casanova of any sort but I am only mildly disfigured, have a descent personality and have no inclination toward kicking the “height deprived” So, that was always a start! In all seriousness though, I have been married for over 11 years to my wife who I wed when I was 24 and she was a week short of 20. (No, I didn’t lure her into my white van with candy) We have a 2 year old child who we love dearly and are an example of how two peoples love for each other evolved over time. We always knew we wanted kids however; we were initially attracted to each other because we shared a sense of humor, we both enjoyed having a good time and we both preferred keeping a smaller group of friends as opposed to being the cast of the show Friends. (…and she liked Snickers) I was beginning my professional career and she was finishing up her undergraduate degrees in computer engineering and neuroscience (brainiac). So, needless to say, our minds were not on having children at that time in our lives. But, as we grew to know each other better, experienced life’s ups and downs together, and basically molded together, our status as “soul mates” basically developed. As time went by, we decided to start having children and since our son has arrived in our lives we have realized another thing we had in common, we both loved having a family even more than we thought we would.

Expert Accountant Relationship Advice

I have found that relationships often fail because the couple doesn’t truly let it develop. Either person hangs their hat on one or two things they really, really like about them like their looks or maybe their income and get married too soon and realize there isn’t much else that makes them compatible. The trick is to find someone you have physical attraction too but also could be a good friend if you were not dating. If you find your potential significant other is boring but you over look it because they are hot, odds are the relationship isn’t going to last as long as you would have hoped. If you can’t stand how much time he or she spends watching television or hangs out with the guys/gals, that probably isn’t going to improve and you will eventually end up trying to “change” that person to fit the mold you think they should. This almost always ends up poorly. Unfortunately, many people are convinced they have to be married, or have to be hitched by a certain age, and this too can lead them to make poor decisions of who their spouse shall be. But then again, I am an accountant so what do I know?

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Comments 5 comments

Alecia Murphy profile image

Alecia Murphy 5 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

I agree with your observations. While I enjoyed watching "Sex and the City" because of how it redefined how people thought of singles on television, it's not real at all in terms of actually letting a relationship play out. And I especially disliked that she chose Mr. Big at the end but they were the most similar.

That being said, I agree that so many people feel pressured to marry so they rush into things just so they get a happy ending that doesn't exist. Like you said, it's about attraction and friendship coming together to make a lasting bond. Great hub! Voted up and interesting!


KathyH profile image

KathyH 5 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

The title to this hub really had me interested... our SON is an accountant and is divorced. I keep hoping he will find his true "soul mate" one day, but until then he is ok with working and traveling! Voted up and interesting, and I think you're right, that soul mates are developed over time... although maybe in some cases they are found from the start! ;) Great hub!


3cardmonte 4 years ago

Well said, I get so fed up of people trying to change their partners. If you wanted to change them then why get with them in the first place?


ThoughtMonkey profile image

ThoughtMonkey 4 years ago from United Kingdon

You are a very articulate writer and express our points very well. I think a lot of us can learn from you.


A.A. Zavala profile image

A.A. Zavala 4 years ago from Texas

Sex and City was ridiculous. There were some that identified with the characters, but none of the women I knew. True compatability is important if you wish to be in a successful relationship. Sex and money only float it for so long. Thank you for sharing.

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