Are You an Oxymoron?
The term oxymoron is a Greek word meaning, pointedly foolish. How many times have you caught yourself making contradictory statements like all alone or called someone a smart ass? Ha if you have, you are not alone.
The trend of using oxymora in every day speaking seems to be on the rise. I am absolutely uncertain why this trend is growing. I mean after all, who would want to send mixed signals when they speak? Maybe I am in the minor majority here when I say this but oxymora are becoming uncommonly common in everyday life. No wonder we are confused huh?!
Why, just the other day I was out to lunch with an acquaintance friend. We sat at a table and the waiter filled up our plastic glasses with pure water. He then told us about some menu items like the jumbo shrimp and the sweet and sour chicken. I kept thinking to myself, is this guy nuts? Is it sweet or is it sour? And what’s with the jumbo shrimp, is that really big or really small? Because I wasn’t sure, I went with the veggie burger and it is almost impossible for me to tell you how incredibly normal this sandwich was. It tasted nothing like hamburger either! Can you believe the waiter gave us ice cold coffee with our small slice of pound cake that was cut almost in half? After we were finished, he came back to the table he had the nerve to ask us if we were almost finished, which I thought was a strange assumption on his part.
On my walk home from the café I avoided a minor catastrophe. You see, I noticed someone following me. I tried to act naturally but my nerves were getting the best of me. The man was wearing tight slacks and he looked pretty ugly. He was covered with sweat as if he’d been walking fast. When I couldn’t get away from the man he rushed up to me with my brand new scarf. I said, “Hey buddy, what are you doing with my brand new scarf, I paid a small fortune for that!” He kept trying to make excuses about where he “found” it. Good grief, what is this world coming to? Now, that was a near miss huh?
Although, I sometimes feel alone in a crowd I think that there might be others out there that agree with me. If not, we can agree to disagree and we shall never again speak of it. Those poor fools out there speaking nonsense, I hate to admit that I find it sadly amusing.
Anyways, I am going to go watch a rerun of Saturday Night Live and eat a snack fast before my beloved gets home from work.
I hope that I have taught you a thing or two about oxymora you never know where the next oxymoron will emerge! Beware and stay cautiously optimistic!
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