Ashley The Bachelorette: Still Babbling About Bentley

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Get Over It Already


I’m not sure if it’s the content of Ashley’s interviews or her weird Valley Girl accent, but her voice is starting to grate on my nerves. Her incessant whining about “Bentleeeee” has made my interest in this show dwindle at a rapid pace.

Ashley spent the entire week babbling on and on about how she can’t get over Bentley and how she wasn’t giving the other guys a fair shake. By the eighteenth time she mentioned it, I was ready to throw my TV out the window (and I LOVE my TV).

She said she had tunnel vision for Bentley the first week, which was when she should have been the most skeptical of him. Homegirl just needs to let go of her little girl crush on this dude she knew for 30 seconds. I’ve had deeper connections with strangers at the DMV.

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Get Phukey With It


Ashley sat down with a lovely lady named “Annie” to pretend to plan fun activities--AKA to do an infomercial for Thailand tourism. I could hear Annie say “what a skank” in her head as Ashley mentioned she was romancing 12 dudes.

She sat down with “Annie” to plan dates for her and 12 guys (AKA to do an infomercial for Thailand tourism). Annie said in her head “what a skank”

First up, Ashley’s date with Constantine (Groban #2) got rained out so they wandered the streets looking like crazy American tourists. Constantine took the bad weather in stride and peppered the conversation with the word “awesome.” It’s raining? Awesome. We don’t speak the language? Awesome. Wanna mug us? Awesome. Oh, you’re still hung up on some loser who left last week? Double Awesome.

If these two ever procreated, their children would have the biggest faces in the history of mankind.

The highlight of the date was Constantine engaging a local in some friendly banter. The language barrier wasn’t an issue, since there was some random girl who spoke English (and who was perfectly camera-ready) standing by to translate for them. I love when real-life works out so seamlessly.

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Give Back, Or Else


For the group date, Ashley took some of the fellas to volunteer at an orphanage that houses victims of the tsunami. Very heartwarming.

Of course, this is reality TV, so the guys took the opportunity to show their catty side. Ryan decided to step up as a faux leader and was driving everyone nuts-o. Apparently when there isn’t a big flaming a-hole in the house, all of the testosterone-driven anger is directed at the happiest fool instead. I guess that’s logical. Ryan would get on my nerves too, but that’s because he’s a big cheeseball. Blake seems to be the team leader of the haters. Later in the episode, he confronted Ryan for being too positive. Seriously, this is the not the best season of this show.

Anywho, Ben F painted a mural which was actually pretty good. He didn’t do it to impress Ashley, but ended up making the biggest impact on her. For that, he was awarded with the date rose, in spite of over using the phrase “buzzing around me.” Apparently, Ashley is really digging the Josh Groban look.

Ashley mentioned repeatedly that she wasn’t really sure she was feeling anyone that was left, but JP seems to be making the strongest case. He is entirely too nice and was lying when he said their post-Bentlecolypse date was perfect. He may win simply for being the best kisser.

What’s In An Ames?

In the most shocking twist, it turns out Ames might just have a personality! Holy smokes, nobody saw that one coming!

As it turns out, Ames is a fly-by-night kinda guy who likes to jet around the world on last-minute trips. Too bad he tried to turn every part of their boat date into a metaphor for love. “Navigating these caves are just like navigating a new relationship”…blah, blah, vomit.

I can’t tell if he’s really smart or if he’s a total pothead.

Even though there’s something odd about him, I think I kinda like him now. It’s pretty comical that he thinks Ashley brings out his funny side that he never knew he had. Hate to break it to him, but that girl laughs at EVERYTHING.

Serious Conversations Over Cocktails


Ashley really shook things up by only sending one sad sap home this week. Chris Harrison keeps reiterating the fact that “there are no rules.” Doth he protest too much? I think the show’s lawyers would have something to say about the topic.

West was sent packing because Ashley didn’t listen to a word he said. Also, there are plenty of tabloid stories that claim that West is a drug addict and a murderer, but I’m sure that had nothing to do with his elimination since she blatantly ignored all warnings against Bentley. Ah well, West can take a cue from Ryan’s logic and be happy that he’s not overseas, waking up to mortar shots every day. God Bless the troops!

Quotes


“Last minute is the best minute.”-Ames

“I’m sorry I’m not grumpy.”-Ryan (what person over the age of 5 uses the word grumpy?)

Frontrunners


JP

The Ghost of Bentley

Roses


Constantine

Ben F

Ames

Lucas

Ryan

JP

Nick

Mickey

Blake

William

Ben C

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