Asteroids! An out of this world vacation!

A perfectly harmless asteroid, ready for you to visit!
A perfectly harmless asteroid, ready for you to visit!

Asteroids May Be Next Vacation Hot Spot

From the Austin Travel Agency - Mars too far? The moon too close? How about a day trip to an asteroid?

A trip to one of Earth’s nearest neighbors beyond the moon is being proposed as a marketable and enjoyable off of this world vacation.

Astrologer/Astronomer Beth Carlson of the Homemaker Observatory in Austin, Texas said Thursday that there are “lots and lots of miniplanets roughly only 10.24357 billion miles away that tourists could visit in a three hour tour.”

Carlson, best known for discovering the self-cleaning carpet in 2002, made her case for an asteroid trip at the annual meeting of Very Very Bored Women In Their Thirties And Not Ashamed To Tell Their Ages Just Looking For Excitement Although Others Can Come Along Too If They Promise To Stick Within The Budget Club, commonly known as VVBWITTANATTT JLFEANNWAMA TCCATITPTSWTBC.

Asteroids are already on the regular tourist agenda. Lots of Fun Cruise Lines promised to launch an “unmanned” rocket next week to Eros, a nearby asteroid, although the traveling eunuchs questioned the irony.

But Carlson contends that women should take a look as well. “I can give you scientific reasons to be excited, but the real reason is getting some space,” she said. “And I don’t think I will live long enough period, let alone long enough to see Pluto. Can you believe it's not a planet anymore? The asteroids are definitely doable.”

She said that the larger asteroids are an ideal spot for vacationers because of the clean sand and the endless shallow end. However, she cautions that although the sun may seem far away, adequate sunscreen as well as oxygen should be provided.

Furthermore, vacationers should always be alert for planetisimals, the unpredictable random particles left out when the planets formed.

While unable to guarantee how much a trip like this might cost, due to the varying tourist season and the fluctuating tides, Carlson said it would cost far less than a round trip to Mars, which some estimate at way too much money for a vacation to a dry, dusty planet.

Reaction to the asteroid idea was mixed.

Louisa Freeperson of the Female of the Species Interplanetary Society thought it made sense. “Whooppee! Where do I put in my reservation? Do you take Visa? Wait - aren't we supposed to be hit by an asteroid soon?”

However, Daniel Silvertrout of the Lots of Fun Cruise Lines expressed jealousy. “Yeah, right.”

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