Beer Criticism Behind America's Problems and War Debacle

Out of the Gate

My favorite beer is Coors Light.

If you rolled your eyes at that statement, you are part of the problem I am about to address.

I don't know what the hell happened to beer drinkers over the last ten years, but, whatever it was, they became snobby bastards like wine drinkers. My point in this hub is not to prove that Coors Light is better than some other beer. In fact, it's not. Coors Light is not better than any other beer. Nor is it worse. Coors Light is just beer. A beer. Period. The problem is the question of "better" and "worse." It's the critique of beer that undermines this great nation and, dare I say, even our national security. Heck, the word "critique" is not even American.

Chicks and beer.  I mean, there just really isn't anything better, especially when they become one.
Chicks and beer. I mean, there just really isn't anything better, especially when they become one.

The Problem

The problem is that beer is a guy drink. Like, a manly guy. Like swearing and wiping snot off your nose with the back of your arm kind of thing. Now listen, don't get me wrong: I have a few gay friends who I enjoy the crap out of and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE chicks. Gay guys and chicks are so in tune with aesthetics and taste and style, they rule. They understand nuance and subtlety and artsy stuff. They like to critique stuff. Heck, I'm an artist, even I get that critique matters in some things. But, beer isn't art. Beer is beer. It's like it has its own dimension. Beer means something to humanity that is in one way beneath art, but in this amazing paradox, above art too. Beer is not subject to critique, and it damn sure does not require an "educated palate" or "sophisticated taste" to drink it -- to make beer, sure; but to drink it? Never. The very suggestion undermines the entire point of beer.

How does this happen?

Who the hell started that crap anyway?

Look, if you like Guinness or other dark beers... that's awesome.

If you like wheat beers or ones with fruit in them... well, ok, that's almost like being a chick or a wine drinker, but, you know what... that's awesome too. Do your thing.

But since when did beer drinkers start wrinkling up their noses at fellow beer drinkers?

I thought the whole point of drinking beer was to, well, drink beer. Aren't there enough other people judging us for other crap?

What the hell is up with looking down the bar and going all "fashion-sense" on what some other dude has in his mug? I mean, if we as men are going to start judging each other for what beer we drink... I mean, my God, you do realize the slippery slope that is, right? We start out nit-picking beer choices, then we start critiquing clothing... next thing you know heterosexual marriage really will be in danger. Think about it:

"Dude, you're drinking Coors Light? That's such a shitty beer."

"Uh, well you're drinking Guinness that tastes like burnt motor oil."

"Oh yeah, well your t-shirt has a tear under your armpit."

"Oh yeah, well you're haircut is so last year."

"Oh yeah, I saw you making kissy noises at your wife's Chihuahua."

Next thing you know all our men become fashion designers, nobody joins the army and in a decade or two we're all speaking Chinese or Russian or some Shiite or Sunni dialect.

Who do you want defending you?

These guys?
These guys?
Or this guy?
Or this guy?
I'm thinking this dude is a better choice.
I'm thinking this dude is a better choice.
Yes, this guy represents me.
Yes, this guy represents me.
There are so few things in life more joyous to see than chicks drinking beer.
There are so few things in life more joyous to see than chicks drinking beer.

The Bottom Line

The whole point of beer was to bring people together. The noise of politics and chick-blah-blah is trying to interfere with the perfect camaraderie that all beer drinkers used to share (chicks who drink beer get a pass from "chick blah-blah" for this discussion). I mean come on, ten years ago or anytime further in the past, a guy walks into another guy's apartment and the resident says, "Dude, you want a beer?" The answer is, "Yep." And that's it. Everyone is happy. It doesn't matter if he tosses his guest a Milwaukee's Best or an exotic wheat... it was a beer. Now days, somehow ballerina-beer-terrorists have messed us up. People exist now who will actually come into your house, you toss them a Bud Light or a Coors Light or a Miller LITE and they will actually say, "This all you got?"

Can you believe it?

No wonder the world hates us and our banks are collapsing.

Fix it.

There is no tradition more sacred to American men that beer. The fact that foreigners have managed to turn us upon each other is only proof that they conspire against us. Stop judging. Stop crunching up your face. It's not about Bud vs. Coors, or Heineken vs. Corona. It's about beer drinkers vs. everyone else. If call yourself a "beer drinker" and yet you can't drink a Coors Light, you are what's wrong with America. You don't have to like it, like, as in your favorite beer, but think about it... if you can't drink a beer with gusto and gratitude, what are you, man? You should probably switch to wine and move to France. We don't need you here.

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Comments 183 comments

Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 8 years ago from St. Louis

Esthetes will eventually have an opinion on everything. The thing that always amuses me is these "my choice is classier than yours" people have been manipulated by advertising, and think they are superior when, in fact, they are hypnotized, gullible sycophants to madison avenue.

I got into that cigar thing a few years back. What a crock that is! All you hear is Cuban this or Cuban that. Here's the truth: Cuban cigars suck! They are harsh and barely palatable. But hey, they're illegal Cuban's so they MUST be good.

As you suggest, seeing this same movement directed at beer is distressing, and is no less than an unravelling of the American fabric. I enjoy a micro brew on occasion, or a foreign beer, but when I wan't something refreshing, something that goes down good and says "have another", I'll reach for a cold, plain American beer. What kind you got? Well that's what I'm having.

Great hub on an important subject!


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 8 years ago from California Author

Damn straight Christoph. "What kind you got?" THAT is an American attitude.

All these independent thinkers being bandied about by the pop-ad of the day. Drives me nuts.


Writer Rider 8 years ago

Clever photo.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 8 years ago from California Author

I can only assume you mean the two coors light chicks up top, but, I'll just nod and agree with you no matter which one you have chosen to enjoy. :)


Writer Rider 8 years ago

Yes, though I didn't enjoy them in that particular way. I have no problem with anyone that would, I just don't. Still very clever.


Paraglider profile image

Paraglider 8 years ago from Kyle, Scotland

Shadesbreath - I think you'd like Doha. The bars sell Heineken and Fosters on draught. And that's it. No choice, or at least a straight choice between two almost identical lagers. And to comply with import laws, they both have to be 5%. The only real question that remains is how many to have. One is never enough. Two is nearly enough, and three is NOT nearly enough...


pgrundy 8 years ago

Amen, amen. I live in microbrewery-land, so everyone around here has an exotic favorite, like, "I'll have a Laughing Goat in the Henhouse Dark with a twist of lime please." Like that. And wow are they ever snotty about it too. Jesus, it's BEER. It's just goddamn beer.

I can't drink beer anymore, as I already drank my share and the share of about ten other men twice my size, but when I did drink beer I loved Killians. I like those dark sweet beers that you can stand a spoon in without the spoon falling over. The only thing I ever miss about drinking, just every so often, is having a Killians. But I've just gotten allergic to it--I break out in total asshole. Or, as a famous Irish poet once said, "I'm a drinker with a writing problem."


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 8 years ago from South Africa

Beer is my favourite drink but now a days I drink very few. weight health, sugar, Hi GI content and all that Crap. But when I earn myself a beer I dont care what it is 'cause a cold frosty tastes good when you have worked up a sweat.Any frosty, that is, and preferably draft on tap.

I am not even American for Chr-----kes. Now I have become an eclectic wine snob who has a discerning palate!

So take that and shove it up your Cohiba!.

BTW what kind of a cigar did Bill use on Monica? Surely not a Cuban!

As usual great hub and a lot of liquid thought went into this hub.

Loved the chicks and my eyesight is pretty good thanks.


B.T. Evilpants profile image

B.T. Evilpants 8 years ago from Hell, MI

I'm no beer snob, but I will say that my taste changed over the years (note that I didn't say "evolved. That would be kinda snobby.). Joining the army right out of high school, I was thrilled to discover that you only needed to be 18 years old, to buy beer on base. That said, my choice was always the one that was the cheapest route to complete loss of memory. Nowadays I don't drink much, but there is usually a Labbatt's or two in my fridge. But I would never consider another man's choice to be inferior. It's like the difference between between Ginger, and Maryann. They're both pretty hot, but they each have their own following (just had to throw some women in with the beer comment.).


Paraglider profile image

Paraglider 8 years ago from Kyle, Scotland

Scotland's self-styled 'favourite beer', Tennent's Lager always used to have a 50s style 'bathing beauty' picture on the tin. In those days, that almost passed for soft porn and cemented the link (in young minds, like mine) between beer and sex. For which I'm grateful to this day ;) Here's a Tennent's Lager tin - http://farm1.static.flickr.com/85/232189970_a565c0...


B.T. Evilpants profile image

B.T. Evilpants 8 years ago from Hell, MI

Of course, the whole argument could be avoided by switching to Everclear. Now there's a man's drink! I don't even think it's legal, where I live.


Paraglider profile image

Paraglider 8 years ago from Kyle, Scotland

Never heard of Everclear - is that like a fortified industrial 'cider' that never met an apple in its life?


B.T. Evilpants profile image

B.T. Evilpants 8 years ago from Hell, MI

It's pure grain alcohol. Strong stuff!


Paraglider profile image

Paraglider 8 years ago from Kyle, Scotland

OK, like the bond strength Scots whisky, before it's diluted for bottling. It burns well!


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 8 years ago from South Africa

That stuff will make you blind before it kills you. But at least has absolutely no snob appeal. We have a drink here made from fermented peaches called Wit Blitz (white lightening). Same effect as above!


Ralph Deeds profile image

Ralph Deeds 8 years ago

A lot of the price of most beers is in the advertising, not the brewing or ingredients. I tend to buy beer by the price, e.g. 30 cans of Strohs for $16.00. A lot of the price of hard liquor is in the advertising rather than the ingredients or distilling. It all has the same effect, depending on the alcohol content. Nice hub!

Stella Artois has the best commercials these days.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dKK0dpxZCw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSLFKVGnrLE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCN1EoKXLv0&NR=...



Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 8 years ago from St. Louis

When I was a young struggling (but blissfully happy) actor, I was off doing theatre, and the grocery store had a generic food section. They sold generic beer, and the label simply said, "Beer". Needless to say, we drank "Beer". Unless we really wanted to tie one on, in which case we drank "Whiskey", "Vodka", or "Tequila". And we liked it too!


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

I am not a beer drinker but I have to say that when I have a beer it is always a Coors Light. I once became very sick from drinking Budweiser and have never drank another. I think I will stick to margaritas but am sure someday people will become snobby about the kind of tequila you use for your maragrita too. Cuervo is just fine with me.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 8 years ago from St. Louis

Hi Gwendy: We've missed you around here.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

Hi Christoph, I have missed you guys too. I am hoping that I can be on here a little more today, I have some cleaning to catch up on but otherwise I should be pretty free to be here. I should be trying to find information and inspiration for the Hubmob, but I'm not really in a writing kind of mood, not for that anyway. Maybe I should write about how your teenage children get offered a full ride scholarship and decide to move home before the first semester is over, or how your middle children think their parents are the devil and how they get forgotten, or how cake decorating class is a pain in the ass. I could come up with lots of stuff on those subjects, but I think I've gotten it out of my sytem now. Anyway, good to see you christoph, are you sure you missed me now ? LOL.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Not a beer lover myself, of any kind. More of a Cider or Wine girl. I have to confess to not liking every brand of cider though, but with wine I will pretty much drink anything, except French wine unless there is absolutely nothing else available. Thesedays I reckon the Aussies and the South Africans make the best wine, not because I am snobby about it, simply it tastes better. I have a theory that the French export all the cacky wines and keep the best for themselves.

It is the snobby wine experts who go on about the bouquet, the hints of berry etc that do my head in. For a start I can't ever distinguish half the flavours they reckon are in each wine, cinnamon, spiced apple, butter etc etc. If the drop I am drinking makes me fall over giggling by the end of the night it's good enough for me.

Great Hub :)


Amanda Severn profile image

Amanda Severn 8 years ago from UK

Guinness is great, and I've even been known to drink Guinness and cider in the same glass. I've never been keen on beer personally, but there's plenty worse things to drink (Meths, after-shave, gin all come to mind LOL)


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 8 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

I've never understood the whole "lite" beer concept myself. Let's say your light beer has 90 calories vs. 120 for a "real" beer. Well, that means you can drink 7 lite beers for +/- the same calories as 6 real beers. LOL. By that time, who cares about calories -- and you've probably peed out most of it anyway!

I personally think it is heretical that Budweiser could be bought yout by a non-American company. But what the heck. Perhaps they have been losing too much market share to all those snooty "Fat tire rogue bastard hairy dog's butt" microbrews.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 8 years ago from California Author

Para: I’m sure I would like Doha. I’ve met so few beers I didn’t like, I can’t imagine not liking that one. And you are dead on with the “one is not enough, two is nearly enough… thing.” I support that sentiment.

And I wish we had a beer company that would do that thing with the women on the cans. That’s awesome. Frankly, I was annoyed that they modernized the St. Paulie’s Girl girl. I mean, WTH was wrong with the last one? The chick they have now doesn’t even seem remotely connected to the beer’s origins. Looks like they stuck an American chick in the old St. Paulie’s Girl dress. Very disappointing. However, I do like what Coors Light has done with those two girls in my hub.

Pgrundy: Yep, LOL, yep and LOL. Lol. I too am a drinker with a writing problem, and Killians is great.

Sixty, you might not be an American, but if you decided to come over and become one, we would let you because you have the right attitude about beer. So it’s all good. (and I hear you on the weight and health stuff. That’s why I don’t go to doctors anymore… they always point that out to me. So, screw em. Doctors might know what’s good for the body, but they don’t know what’s good for the soul.)

BT: Excellent analogy. I mean, Ginger OR Maryann? Please. The correct answer is “Yes, send them over.” We had Everclear once at a dorm party. That stuff is seriously dangerous. We made Bullfrogs with Limeade frozen concentrate, Vodka and a splash of Everclear. Strange things happened that night.

Ralph Deeds: I agree. The beer that can hype itself and make itself the most “in” gets to overcharge the most. I’d forgotten about that beer commercial, the bud one, and that second one you listed was like a training video for bartenders. I’m thinking it had to be. Funny though. Talk about taking yourself seriously. (Although I confess to wanting to try one just to see if it lives up to all the austere presentation.)

Christoph: I too have enjoyed Beer and Vodka and Tequila by name (along with Peanut Butter and Corn Flakes. LOL).

Gwendy: I confess to be a tequila snob. But, wine, booze… I think you get to be snobby about that stuff. José is fine for a margarita, but if I’m drinking it straight, I insist on Herradura or Corzo. (Herradura has to be kept in the freezer, Corzo can be room temp.)

Misty: Actually, I don’t think your theory about French wines is off. Seems like I have even heard that very thing being discussed in semi-credible wine circles. I’m not a wine drinker, but I understand from some that California wines are easily compatible with, if not superior to, French wines. I have to take people’s word for it though. And I have some Hornsby’s cider out in the fridge right now. :)

Amanda: I was with you till you lumped gin in there and tried to take out my martinis. I have to say, I’ve never had Guinness WITH cider. What’s that called? I’ll have to look up how to mix that and try it.

Mighty Mom: Exactly. The only time light beer matters for calorie count is if you’re only going to have one, and, like Paraglider said up there: “one is not enough…”


Milla Mahno profile image

Milla Mahno 8 years ago from Florida

Not that I drink a lot of beer, but when I do, I prefer Grolsh :P

And Mighty Mom, Budwiser is not an American beer originally, it is Czech. In fact, what Americans did to Budwiser is a crime all by itself :)


t.keeley profile image

t.keeley 8 years ago from Seattle, WA

Sorry, staunch Guinness drinker here. I don't discriminate based on beer that people drink, but I thought this joke was funny....

"the presidents of every major beer company walk into a bar after a conference. The president of Anheuser-Busch plops down onto a stool and calls for one of his premier beers on tap. The CEO of Heineken does similar and orders his beer. Sam Adams himself revives from the dead and orders his Boston Lager.

Then Arthur Guiness steps up and orders a Pepsi. Perplexed, the other CEOs are left to scratch their heads in disbelief. As he sits himself down, Mr. Adams gathers the balls to approach him and ask:

'Why, sir, did you not order a Guinness?'

Art replied, ' Well if you boys won't order a beer, I'm not going to either.'


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 8 years ago from California Author

Milla, you are a chick who drinks beer, therefore you get the pass accorded you and women like you in the hub, you can even have an opinion if you want because you are a woman, and that's what women do. It's guys who can't have an opinion beyond a favorite.

T.Keeley, that's great. I never heard that one before.


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

Funny hub as usual Shade. I must confess...I hate beer. I hate the smell of beer. I've been known to carry the same beer in my hand for hours at a party just so it looked like I was drinking the entire night. It was a waste of a beer. Somebody else probably should have had the opportunity to drink it.

If given enough time, I can actually drink an entire beer...but it's tortuous if I'm really thirsty. "Waitress gimme a beer...and could I have a glass of water too?" is rather silly...but that's what I have to do.

So to me...one beer is pretty much like any other. Unpalatable. :P


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 8 years ago from California Author

That's how I feel about wine, Spryte. I basically do that if I ever get stuck in any kind of wine environment, like a tasting or something. Just hold a glass and sip on it if anyone starts eyeballing me too hard. lol.


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

Wine is good for only one thing...cooking. I love a good burgundy (in my spaghetti sauce) and a nice dry German wine goes great with chicken or fish (especially in a home made chicken pot pie). So I keep a bottle of each on hand. But drink it? I don't think so...


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 8 years ago from St. Louis

Milla: As a longtime resident of St. Louis (and a sometime consumer of AB products) let me clarify some things about Anheuser Busch. In 1860, German born Eberhard Anheuser purchased a small brewery, and 9 years later was joined by Adolphus Busch (another German). So Budweiser is of German origin. The recipe was tweaked to more suit the local market, who were European immigrants - mostly Germans and Italions. So Americans didn't do anything to Budweiser beer - Germans did - and it's was a German Beer, not Czech. You are probably thinking of Budvar Czechvar, which has nothing to do with Budweiser, except that AB imports it into the states, along with Kirin, Bass, Becks, Stella Artois, Lowenbrau, Tennets Ale, and many others. They also make around 12 microbrew and european-styled beers. Budweiser is the largest selling beer in the WORLD, not just the U.S. They drink copious amounts of Bud everywhere (it's not my favorite but it's OK). Do you think that now the Belgians (INBEV) own it, do you think they are going to mess with Bud? It would be a financial disaster for them.

I hope this clarify's some misconceptions. BTW, Grolsch is one of my absolute favorites!

 


Amanda Severn profile image

Amanda Severn 8 years ago from UK

Guinness and cider is known as a Black Velvet, and is served in 50-50 proportions. It goes down nicely on a hot day!


Milla Mahno profile image

Milla Mahno 8 years ago from Florida

Chris, thanks for this historical piece, I definitely had no idea about all that stuff. I just drink what I like and don't care much where it comes from. :)

You prompted me to do some quick research, and this is what I meant by Czech Budwiser: http://www.budvar.cz/en/index.html#restrictedConte...

Whatever its history is, this is the Budwiser I like, and American Budwiser is no match to it. Not even close.:)


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 8 years ago from California Author

Sounds good, Amanda, I'm going to try that.


trish1048 profile image

trish1048 8 years ago

Personally, I don't like beer.  The only time I can drink it is when the temp is over 100 degrees, then I slug an ice cold one down.

Back in the 70s, my hubby's best friend used to have white lightning on hand.  One night, we went to visit, and my hubby and his best friend pulled out their guitars.  They got into playing, all the while drinking white lightning.  I'd say within a half hour they were hootin and hollerin and singing Give Me That Old Time Religion.  As God is my witness, once they belted that song out, the skies opened up, it poured rain and there was thunder and lightning that appeared to darn near come right into the living room.  It made us all stop dead in our tracks and crack up laughing.  Our guess was that someone upstairs either enjoyed it too, or not lol.  After that, I had to try some.  I took a sip and it darn near burned my insides out, yuckkkkkkkkk!  Had that been the first hard liquor I ever tried, I'd be a tea drinker.

Thanks for sharing.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 8 years ago from California Author

Hah, great story. Don't you love those little mini-miracles we get sometimes. Let's us know the universe has a sense of humor.


ajcor profile image

ajcor 8 years ago from NSW. Australia

Thanks for this enlightening hub - an eye opener re the beer drinker's attitudes and likes/dislikes - more of a wine person myself, a good merlot or even enjoy a Manhattan martini sometimes. However I deviate and here in Aus. there is a lot of debate re. the temperature of the beer served here versus that served at I believe, (ugh!) room temperature at pubs in Britain! although their Cornish ciders I have heard are real blow-your-socks off type killers. (scrumpie or a name something like that) Fosters, Reschs,Carlton, and Heinnekens seem to be the best known brews here. cheers.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Love Merlot Ajcor, my favourite, but you are wrong about the temperature of beer here in the UK, it is served iced cold, either on draught or out of the fridge, same with cider. What I found strange was how when I lived in Tenerife they would serve red wine from the fridge unless you asked for it at room temperature. On the rare occasions they didn't have any at room temperature I would buy the cold wine, and leave it on the table for half an hour before drinking it. :)


ajcor profile image

ajcor 8 years ago from NSW. Australia

my apologies Misty for my assumption that the state of the beer temperature was still the same as when my brothers were staying in Earl's Court enjoying many beers - after all a beer is a beer!


Ananta65 8 years ago

Well then, it’s official. I am what’s wrong with America. I so agreed with the beer drinkers vs. the rest thing. But then, you know. Come on, beer LIGHT? Light is for women who care too much about their weight. Light is for pussies who try to comfort themselves about their eating and drinking habits. “Hey, this is all right, it’s light”. Either you drink beer or you don’t. Either you really want to do something about your weight and you change your eating, drinking and exercise habits, or you don’t give a sh*t. Light. Get out of here. Light is for fakers and whiners. Ever heard of whisky light? Or a cheeseburger light? Didn’t think so. Light beer is a contradictio in terminis. There is no such thing as light beer. There’s beer and there’s well, the rest.


B.T. Evilpants profile image

B.T. Evilpants 8 years ago from Hell, MI

Did I hear someone badmouthing gin? I must warn you, Hell hath no fury, like a Tanqueray drinking jackalope, scorned!


Amanda Severn profile image

Amanda Severn 8 years ago from UK

Sorry BT, but I once drank more gin than was good for me, and I can't even bear to sniff it now!


Paraglider profile image

Paraglider 8 years ago from Kyle, Scotland

Amanda - that was probably London Gin with the juniper smell. I did the same and it took years before I could go near it again. But Dutch gin (Jenever) has a completely different flavour and smell and is there to be enjoyed, neat, and very cold. Try it?


Amanda Severn profile image

Amanda Severn 8 years ago from UK

Paraglider, I never say never!


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 8 years ago from South Africa

Christophe and Mila I was in Prague lat year and bought Budweiser on tap


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 8 years ago from South Africa

When I asked why they had an american beer on tap in Prague I was met with scorn. They said this beer is hundreds of years old and is a Czech Beer


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 8 years ago from South Africa

They in fact mentioned that there was an ongoing copyright court case between Budweiser (Czeckezlovakia)and Anhauser Busch about the name, not the origin of what were two completely different beers.

Sorry I broke up into three parts but I got one of those damn irritating multiple posts!

Cheers


Ananta65 8 years ago

Please be aware that there are a lot of quality differences in the Dutch jenevers.

Also, there are different kinds. There’s young jenever, which is drank by most people. I’d suggest you try Notaris or Ketel 1 if you go for young. There’s also old jenever, which usually has more taste to it. The color is darker (yellowish) and it’s mostly drunk before dinner. And then there’s Corenwijn (wheat wine) that has a higher percentage of malt wine than young and old jenever. Often Corenwijn matures in wooden casks which gives it a different, softer yet more explicit taste.


Milla Mahno profile image

Milla Mahno 8 years ago from Florida

Thanks for extra info Sixty :*

In fact I researched a little more and found this article in Wikipedia, which more or less clarifies the issue I think :)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Budweiser_trademark_d...


Paraglider profile image

Paraglider 8 years ago from Kyle, Scotland

Ananta - I like all of the ones you mentioned, especially corenwijn. For the uninitiated, Dutch cuisine comprises:

old cheese & young cheese, old ham & young ham, old eggs & young eggs, old gin & young gin, old water & young water - it's easy when you get the hang of it ;)


Ananta65 8 years ago

I must say that I've never heard of old & young ham, eggs or water, Paraglider. In cheese we've got even more variations: there's grass cheese (which is very young), young cheese, young-matured, matured, well-matured and old cheese. The older the cheese, the stronger the taste. But you know that, of course :)


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Amanda, I got drunk on gin too once, and I can't bear the smell now either.


Paraglider profile image

Paraglider 8 years ago from Kyle, Scotland

Nor me, but it's a nice idea, old water to wash down old amsterdam cheese!


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 8 years ago from California Author

Ananta, it's not about calories. It's about taste and quantity. I'd rather be able to go to party and drink 15 or 18... or more lol, than be sloshy after 8 or 10. I'm always the last one standing and booze fests and events like Mardis Gras etc. If I cared about weight, I wouldn't drink beer at all. And you're right, you are the problem!!!! It's your fault the whole world is like it is, you and your, your, your beer snobbery!


Ananta65 8 years ago

1) It’s a well known fact that the term ‘light’ and taste have no relation whatsoever. Light in general in the food and beverage industry only refers to products low in calories. Pepsi Light is low in sugar and hence in calories. Does it taste like the real thing? No, it doesn’t. You taste the sugar substitute.

2) Light in beer stands for a lower alcohol percentage. Alcohol causes fat to be produced by the body. So, by putting in less alcohol the breweries can label their beer ‘light’.

3) Most importantly, ‘light’ is artificial. First you had the real deal and then the ‘light’ product was invented. You see, beer is a natural product. It’s one of the few things in life that’s still genuine and natural. Those genuine and natural pleasures should be enjoyed to the full. Do you ever have sex light? I don’t. I want sex or I don’t want sex at all; I absolutely don’t want sex light. The same, my ignorant friend, is true for beer. Real men drink real beer. Real beer separates the boys from the men. If you can’t handle more than 8 or 10 of them, then don’t drink beer. Have a breezer, a marguarita or any other girly drink, but stay off the beer. Beer is for men.


pylos26 profile image

pylos26 8 years ago from America

one may drink beer in my corner...but that blasted sinful act will by God shore spew you right up to hell.


Paraglider profile image

Paraglider 8 years ago from Kyle, Scotland

At this point, may I just observe that this, my fourth can of Tuborg Gold this evening, tastes every bit as good as my first, aided and abetted by a lump of matured Edam and some Scottish oatcakes. (It's amazing what you can buy in Qatar!)


Ananta65 8 years ago

Cheers, Paraglider! :)


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 8 years ago from California Author

LOL Ananta.  You drink your real beer that tastes the same as my light beer (by your own admission), see if I care.  I'm not here to judge your beer drinking and the length of my schwantz is not threatened by my choices, so I'm happy having what I like.  I will say, however, if the alcohol content of your beverge is what guides your decision making process, I suggest you go for hard alcohol or even the aforementioned Everclear; imagine how much more masculine that stuff must be given an alcohol-level quantifier.  You could become so masculine that you can wrestle in the WWF or whatever they call that now.

:P


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 8 years ago from St. Louis

Ananta: Not sure you are correct about the alchohol being less in lite beer than in regular, at least not here in the states. Both are 5.0% alchohol by volumn. Doesn't that mean the alcohol content is the same?

Think I'll go have some lite beer, some lite sex, then 5 shots of single malt Irish and kick some ass!


Milla Mahno profile image

Milla Mahno 8 years ago from Florida

light ass? ;)


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

After reading all this...I had to look up the definition of "light" beer. Seems there's some dissension on whether it should be low cal & low alcohol or just low cal or just low alcohol. Geesh!

Anyway...Ananta, your argument that light beer is artificial in invalid. Neither beer nor light beer occur naturally...both are manmade products.

As far as judging manliness by the alcohol content in whatever he drinks, then I argue that the more alcohol a man consumes, the less likely his uh...schwantz (thanks for that Shade)...will be able to do anything to prove his masculinity. In which case, it's the woman who gets lite sex (if any at all).


Ananta65 8 years ago

Hell, if it isn’t the alcohol percentage, then what value does the ‘light’ label have, Christoph?

I’ve got a bottle of brilliant 15 year ol SPringbank single malt. Mind you, it’s not a light malt whisky. And it’s Scottish.

Shadesbreath, Shadesbreath… No, it’s not the alcohol percentage that drives my choice of beer. It’s taste. And here in the Netherlands, the light beers taste like shit. In 1980, Amstel Light was born. It is now a leading imported light lager in the United States. As you might expect from one brewed with the spirit of Amsterdam, the unique selection of raw materials and an intensive fermenting process are what set Amstel Light apart. The result is a special light lager containing only 3.5% alcohol and approximately 35% fewer calories than regular lager beer. So there you have it: it simply isn’t the real deal. And if you paid attention, you would have seen that I didn’t mention a correlation between alcohol and masculinity. I mentioned a correlation between beer and masculinity. Real men drink real beer. Period.

Now I’m not that snobby that I think our Dutch beers are better than English or American beers. Truth is they are, but for the sake of argument I’ll agree that that’s a simple matter of taste (or what you’re used to).

By the way, do you know the similarity between English beer and having sex in a canoo?

It’s both f*cking close to water *lol*


Ananta65 8 years ago

Spryte, with all due respect *uch* but you hate beer. So son’t come in here and try to teach us men, us beer lovers whether or not beer is natural. Most beers (not the light ones of course) are more natural than women, with all the cosmetic surgery and all. Beer is a natural product, manmade from natural ingredients, no artificial additives. Light beer is an invention by business men who only wanted to expand their market. It’s as simple as that.


pylos26 profile image

pylos26 8 years ago from America

hey guys...my former post was an attempt at humor...hope i didn't step on anyone's toes...i would stick a needle in me eye if they hid my beer...pylos


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 8 years ago from California Author

Ananta: Spryte already ripped up your "natural" argument, and you made clear that "light" beer referred to "lower alcohol."  Given that this is the only distinction between "real" beer and "light" beer you made (had you paid attention to yourself lol), the conclusion can be made that your statement was in fact an implication of manhood correlating to alcohol percetange based on syllogistic reasoning, your statement being:

a) Less alcohol makes light beer artificial beer [un-real beer].

b) real men only drink real beer

c)  People who drink less alchohol [artificial beer] are not real men

You may retract your statement if you would like, admitting that you misspoke, in which there is no shame for you given the strength of character that surely comes with being a real man, but you can't pretend that this is not precisely what you said, and precisely what I, presumably an un-real man, accurately and attentively read.

And Pylos, you'd have to work pretty hard to offend anyone in this thread. Pretty thick skin in the presently active participants. You're all good.

Oh, and Para, I put that gin on my list. Never had it before. Looking forward to it.


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

*stands behind Shadesbreath and makes a neener-neener type motion towards Ananta*


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Ananta, I am proud to say my body is 100% natural, no added preservatives, artificial additives or flavourings. :) :) :)


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 8 years ago from California Author

I'm not sure if there's anything left in my body that's natural anymore. Between all the booze, fast food and twinkies, I have to be damn near completely preserved by now.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Pickled I would say :) :)


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Hey Shades, did you ever get to see the comment I posted on the masturbation hub about what a lovely coccyx you have (very well preserved)???


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

Hahahahahah! Misty! I love it. What I want to know is why Shadesbreath calls his little friend (or maybe not so little...I'm not in a position to judge) Schwantz?


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Proportionately I would say it is fairly big, but I guess it all depends on what you are used to :)


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 8 years ago from St. Louis

I think "Schwantz" is a Jewish term of endearment. Did you know that in the 50's and 60's, 7 out of 10 men called theirs "Little Elvis"?


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

No way, that is so sad, they could have called it little 'Fonzy', he was far more cute.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Apparently Schwantz is listed in the Urban Dictionary as a name for the male genitalia, and derived from the Yiddish meaning 'tail'.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sch...


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 8 years ago from Australia

Wow who didn't have his Schnapps today?

Shades next thing you know they will have us spitting out the first mouthful, you know cleanse the pallette and all that bull/s...!

Hey Chris we were more inclined to use "little horse"


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 8 years ago from St. Louis

Aw, come on, Misty. I said the 50's and 60's. Guy's didn't start calling their whatchamacallits "Little Fonzie" until the 70's. I call mine "Silver", so that when I'm wearing my cowboy outfit in the bedroom, I say, "Hi yo, Silver! I'm the Bone Ranger! I ride again...and again...and again!"

(Let's get this straight before it gets out of hand: I do NOT have a name for my whatchmacallit and never have. Guy's did NOT call their Schwantzes "Little Elvis", but Elvis DID (it said so in a book and books never lie). I have heard that some guys name their Schwantzes, but I do not know this personally, since I avoid all Schwantzes that aren't my own and we don't talk about such things to each other. Thank you.)


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Isn't using 'little horses' illegal agvulpes??

Also, what is the problem with spitting out the first mouthful? I would spit out every mouthful, but the wine, now that is another matter altogether :)


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

I reckon if I was a bloke and I had a pet name for my 'Schwantz', I would deny it too Christoph, but between you and me, (whispers), 'what do you really call him?.

Just so love the idea of the conversation in the men's urinal.

"Hi Mate, I call mine the 'Terminator', what do you call yours?"

Answer: "Errmmm, well my wife calls it her 'Weeble'", (followed by embarrassed giggle).


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 8 years ago from St. Louis

Hey, Ag. You've been scarce around these parts lately.

Misty: "Silver." I told you.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

'Let's get this straight before it gets out of hand: I do NOT have a name for my whatchmacallit and never have'

Ahhh, so what did you mean by this Christoph ??? :) :) :)


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 8 years ago from Australia

Misty just reminded me of the old joke about " the water being cold" and "deep"?

and Misty I'm talking about nicknames. You know, built like a "horse" or "little horse" as the case may be???

Yeah I'm with Christoph we guys just don't talk about these "things"Although knowing Chris's pet name I might have to consider a name change for myself.LOL!

Chris Iv'e been on Grandkid Patrol!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

LOL, so long as Christoph doesn't end up being 'Quick Silver' as that would be really disappointing!

Now Agvulpes, what is this joke about the water? I don't think I know it?


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 8 years ago from Australia

Misty I think its a borderline joke and not quite sure if it would pass the Hub Police so as this is not my Hub, I'll wait for Shades, he probably knows it anyway.

btw you already know the punchline!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Now my mind is racing. Can someone please email this joke to me please??


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 8 years ago from Australia

Ok hang on ag to the rescue of a racing mind!


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 8 years ago from Australia

Ok hang on ag to the rescue of a racing mind!


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 8 years ago from Australia

Can someone tell me why I'm getting multi posts, I only pushed the button once?


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 8 years ago from St. Louis

Ag: You have multiple posts because your multiple personalities are doing it when you are not looking. That's a funny joke! I mean the cold water one.

Misty: The joke has many variations. I wonder what version you'll get. Now, that's funny, that after first ignoring my statement, you now quote it. Which is it going to be? Only once did I use the "Hi yo, Silver" sentence, exactly as I quoted it above. I was wearing the coat and the hat in my avatar. I was also wearing a Lone Ranger mask and carriying a toy six-shooter. It was not in the bedroom but in the women's dressing room of a theatre. It brought the dressing room down, and I made a lot of new friends and got a couple of dates, during which they had occasion to quote another great film by saying, "It's twoo, it's twoo...!"


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Didn't mean to offend you Christoph, just my warped sense of humour as usual!!

Love the idea of you in a dressing room stating your quote as above though :)


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

*snorts laughing and falls over*

I'm over reading Sally's magnificent hub on gastronomical uh...molecular!  that's it and you are all having fun here?  :) 

I know the cold and deep joke :)  Does everyone know the "Wendy" one? 

And now I know why Shadesbreath would call his one eyed wonder worm ...Schwantz.  I forgot that he had two teenaged sons, so of course he'd be up on the cool talk.

I used to retaliate whenever a man annoyed me by using my favorite comparison, "hung like a hamster."


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Ag has kindly emailed me the joke, brilliant and very funny, and also new to me :)

OMG, what is the 'Wendy One?'


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 8 years ago from Australia

We want the wendy joke!! please spryte!!!!


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

Well I can tell that one here...hub censors come and get me!!!

Okay so these two men are at the urinal, a white guy and a black guy. So the white guy leans over and checks out the other dude's equipment. He's sort of curious you know...wondering if that stereotype about black men having bigger...schwantzes...is true or not.

Oddly enough, he finds that he and the other gentlemen actually have something in common with each other and feeling rather a bonding moment, the white guy points at the black guy's equipment and says, "Hey! How cool is that...I had my girlfriend's name tattooed on my uh...schwantz too! Your girlfriend even has the same name as MINE! Wendy, right?"

The black guy looks at the white guy, thinking perhaps he's run into a severe mental case or pervert. "What you talkin' bout, mon?" he says in his lilting island accent. "This say...Welcome to Jamaica. Have a Nice Day."

:) Home I didn't screw that up...I'm a little baked at the moment


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 8 years ago from Australia

Spryte, sort of like a balloon when you blow it up right?

Anyone seen our host or have they taken him away?


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Excellent joke, and I have heard it, but it certainly still makes me laugh.

Must go to bed now as it is nearly 04.00am and I promised errant hubby I would not be too late to bed!!! Wish I could stay longer, but you know how these timezones get in the way!

Catch up tomorrow, (or later today I should say) :)


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 8 years ago from Australia

Hey Chris you know what they say in the army , "This is my rifle, this is my gun, etc etc.. Does that apply to 6 shooters as well?


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 8 years ago from St. Louis

I don't know what they say in the army. What?


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

Am I missing the party?


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

Nah...I don't think so. We're all equally confused :)


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 8 years ago from Australia

Well from memory it went something like this.

If a private happens to call his rifle a "gun" He was marched around the parade ground with the chant " This is my rifle" holding said weapon above his head followed by "This is my gun" assuming the famous Michael Jackson stance. Then finish by "This is for shooting" same with rifle above head then "This is for fun" .Michael Jackson stance again.  Needless to say you learned very quickly which was your rifle or gun?????. Fortunately I could always remember the difference.

Hi Gwendy

Hi Spryte

Lets party! wusup


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

Hi Ag, Hi Spryte, Hi Christoph, Hi Misty, Hi everyone else. I have missed you all so very very much.


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 8 years ago from Australia

Misty had to go to bed (party pooper)

Gwendy where you bin (without wishing to pry of course) .

Iv'e been looking after the grandkids. (that's I'm sticking to It)


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

I'm sitting here in the dark with a cup of coffee...thinking about raiding the Halloween candy (again). Whassup with all of you?


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

Ag, Well my husband returned from his hunting trip Friday and my daughter came home from college the same day, Saturday I was at an antique/farm auction and doing a little shopping, Sunday I was baking cakes and decorating them, Monday I had kids to watch and Cake class in the evenings. Didn't do anything Tuesday except for catching up on house cleaning that I neglected over the past few days, and Today Kids as usual and published a new hub and watched a movie. That's it.


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 8 years ago from Australia

So you haven't been doing much then! Ive been busy too I took out the rubbish bins!

Now why would spryte be sitting in the dark drinking coffee .

Shit. where getting a thunderstorm attack!


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

That's not good. I don't know why Spryte would be sitting in the dark drinking coffee.


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

What? You don't sit in the dark at your computer?


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 8 years ago from Australia

Does that help with inspiration or are you just too tired to get up and turn the light on?


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

uh no. I have the lights on and TV going in the background at all times. I know I know, wasting electricity, but it's dark and I need the lights because there is no telling what I could come up with in the dark and nobody wants to read that crap and the tv, as I hear it, uses no more electricity on or off unless it is unplugged. I am so used to having noise that the quiet drives me crazy. I need noise. Oh and the coffee thing, I drink two cups in the morning and that's it, I would be up for two days if I had coffee before bed, I already have enough sleeping problems as it is and don't need to make them worse.


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 8 years ago from Australia

Someones told you a porky about the TV. Depending which set you have when it is up and running, they do consume more power than when they are on standby.

Think like its having on the biggest light bulb turned on all the time! and then some!

 


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

Told me a porky huh, I've never heard that one before. I guess I could turn it off, and I might survive the quiet, maybe.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 8 years ago from California Author

Damn, I missed a whole evening of Schwantz jokes. :( I have this project that's taking all my damn time except for rare moments. And, for the record, Schwantz isn't really new. And I think Excaliber would be a good name for a schwantz, if someone was into that sort of thing. But, just speculation.

I guess I'll catch up to you guys again one of these nights (we keep missing the prime time show, eh Gwendy?)


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

I love the quiet...nobody jabbering in my ear, I control all the input and right now it's you guys and a darn good game of spider solitaire (which I've used to train my brain to shut off and fall immediately into a comatose state no matter how much caffeine I've consumed)...

You sure you want it called Excalibur? That could be dangerous. You might be standing around in the middle of a medieval town and for no reason at all some kid named Arthur comes along, rips it off and runs off with it...waving it around in the air and calling himself the king of England or something...


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 8 years ago from Australia

So which Solitaire are you playing. I like a few hands of that before I hit the sack + a nice cryptic cross word?

Sorry Gwendy Ozzie rhyming slang again. Porky Pie=Lie.

Shades how on earth would you get Excalibur out of the rock it was originally stuck in I'm sure poor Arthur would not help you out there. No siree?


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

yes we do Shades, My son hogs the computer and I never get to be on here in the evenings until late and then I seem to have missed it all, and am all drugged up (sleeping pills) and have a hard time keeping up with what's going on. Someday though Shades, we will get back in the loop.


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

Spider solitaire. The computer is cheating again...


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

here are some for you Shades, schlong, peter, johnson, tool, weiner, weenie, rocket, trouser snake, dong, ding dong, peen, peenie, ween, joystick, love muscle, member, skin flute, pecker, package, prick, and willy.


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 8 years ago from Australia

Oh Gwendy you left poor Dick out he will be so offended.

spryte which level Spider?


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

Dip stick, dick, Phil, piston, shaft, one eyed monster, and fred. Just in case you need a new name for your Schwantz.


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

Level 2 of 3. One is dull and 3 requires more thought than I have at the moment. You forgot "heat seaking moisture missile."


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

Damn it, I did forget that Spryte, Thanks, now we may have the complete list here.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

Ok guys, I have got to get going, I'm am not sure how I am still awake. My eyes are getting watery and I am yawning constantly. So good night to you all, sorry I missed out but I will try again tomorrow. Sweet dreams to you all!!!


Paraglider profile image

Paraglider 8 years ago from Kyle, Scotland

Good morning all - glad to see nothing's been resolved while I've been sleeping. Ananta - Amstel Light in the middle east is also 5%. For some reason, there's a law here that draught beer should all be 5%. So, it's a special version of heavy light.

In Scotland, where we do everything properly, Light beer is Dark, ok? It's not the colour of Guinness, but more like coke coloured. The two standaerd generics are Light and Heavy. Light is dark and Heavy is light. Simple really.


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 8 years ago from Australia

Is that 4 suits?

Hmmm..... hsmm, and what may I ask would you call its target area?

maybe I shouldn't be asking.

Oh yea we are supposed to be talking beer, how boring!


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

It goes 1 suit, 2 suits, 4 suits...I'm at 2. And if you have to be reminded about target areas...I can't help you :P

I'm off to bed now...n'nite!


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 8 years ago from Australia

G'Night


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 8 years ago from St. Louis

I was out too, and get back just as everyone is leaving.

"Willie the one-eyed wonder worm."


Ananta65 8 years ago

Ever since the beginning of times man has brewed beer. It is produced by the brewing and fermentation of starches, mainly derived from cereals—the most common of which is malted barley, although wheat, corn, and rice are also widely used. Light beer refers to beer which is reduced in alcohol content, or in calories, compared to "regular" beers. Light beers may be chosen by beer drinkers who wish to manage their alcohol consumption or their calorie intake; however, they are sometimes criticized for being less flavorful than full-strength beers, being (in perception or in fact) "watered down".

And from light beer things can only go downwards: near beer was originally a term for malt beverages containing little or no alcohol (less than one half of one percent by volume), which were mass-marketed during Prohibition in the United States.

As anyone can see the light and near beers are produced by modifying the original, natural brewing process. Where real beer is brewed with the intention to produce the best beer possible, light beer is brewed with the intention to REDUCE. It’s not the alcohol percentage as such that is the denominator, although I understand your misunderstanding the issue, Shadesbreath. Light beer does contain less alcohol, so your derivation is understandable. However, it’s the INTENTION that is wrong with light beer.

Light beer is produced within limitations: alcohol percentage and/or calories. And so the brewer tries to produce the best taste possible WITHIN THOSE LIMITATIONS. Whereas real, true beer is brewed with the sole intention to make it the best beer available. Real men don’t allow themselves to be limited by fashionable bullsh*t.


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 8 years ago from South Africa

Shades So now you know what it feels like. Then you spend time reading all the comments (not just the last one or two) and then try to think of an appropriate comment. You are bright eyed and bushy tailed no drugs(sleeping pills) tequila gin or fourth Frosties talikng to the empty ether and hoping someone actually reads your comment before the thread turns and they are all (the girls and Christophe that is ) start talking about peckers (not the wood kind either) and other hubs and comments that you just havent't got to yet!

Well Hi Ho Silver I 'm off hunting hubs that have run wild in my absence. No wonder I have not even written my Hubmob piece yet this week.



Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 8 years ago from St. Louis

Ananta: Apparantly, the difference in the alcohol content between regular and lite beers is much more severe in non-American beers, about half as much in lite. The difference in the states is negligible at best. A small sample

Bud 4.9%

Bud lite 4.2%

Miller 4.6

Miller Lite 4.2

Coors 5.0

Coors lite 4.2

Funny you would say "real men don't allow themselves to be limited by fashionable bullsh*t." But that is what you are doing, because it is fashionable to treat a lite beer with contempt. You cannot think for yourself. You drink what the advertizers tell you to drink, no doubt. The point of this hub is that you should drink whatever kind of beer you want to drink, but you seem to think that it's not OK to drink a beer because you like it. Instead, everyone has to drink what you - Ananta - likes (which is what the advertizers have conditioned you to drink).

Just an observation.


Ananta65 8 years ago

So there’s this scientist who’s heard rumors about the Longschwanztribe, living in the jungle of Venezuela. He takes off and starts searching. After three days of wandering through the dense jungle, he meets a woman and asks her about the tribe. The woman first giggles and then points him into a direction. Following her directions, the scientist reaches a small river. Several men are standing in the river, the water up to their bellies, so he’s still unable to see where they got the name of their tribe. So he beckons one of them out of the water. The man walks to the bank of the river, takes his schwanz and tosses it twice around his waist, then around his neck and a third time around his waist, before tying a knot. The scientist can’t help himself and laughs in embarrassment. Now the Indian gets annoyed and says: “what are you laughing about? In this cold water yours would shrink too!”


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 8 years ago from St. Louis

In my version, the punch line is, "just enough to win." Ha!


Ananta65 8 years ago

Christoph Reilly  says:

“But that is what you are doing, because it is fashionable to treat a lite beer with contempt. You cannot think for yourself. You drink what the advertizers tell you to drink, no doubt.”

Think again, Christoph :) I’ve tried the light beers available here. Once. They can’t be referred to as beer. It’s as simple as that. If I were subject to advertisers try to condition me to drink, I’d be drinking Heineken probably. Fact is that I don’t. I drink the beer that I like, which is either Amstel, Grolsch or Hertog Jan.

And you can drink any brand you like too, I’m fine with that. Just don’t drink light. Either you drink beer, or you don’t.

Beer is one of the world's oldest beverages, possibly dating back to the 6th millennium BC. Now when do you think the “light” variety came into existence? And what do you think this ‘light’ variety is? I’ll tell you: it’s a process of REDUCTION. Traditionally beer is produced by first mashing (for 1-2 hours), then washing (sparging or pautering) the mash to produce wort. The wort is then boiled, hops are added and then cooled. Finally yeast is added and after one or two fermentations the beer is ready to be bottled. This is in short the way to produce a genuine, tasty beer. To come to the light beer, there are reductions (of alcohol and/or carbohydrate). In other words: a perfect product is REDUCED.

Walking into a bar and asking for a light beer is like joining an orgy and keeping your pants on.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 8 years ago from California Author

Gwendy, I see you did your Scwantz research, I hope you had fun.  LOL

Sixty, I hear you man.  The up side is, with this crew, at least there's someone around most of the time somewhere to amuse us.  And you need to do something about that no tequila or gin or frosty thing.  That might be why you're not up late enough to find everyone. 

Christoph, give it up.  Poor Ananta has been completely consumed by the idea he's been spoon fed that somehow your beer choice is a reflection of who you are today, and quite outside of the fact that he is the very person pointing out how ancient and, dare I say, essential beer is to humanity as a tradition.  I would redress the orgy analogy with a more accurate one:  Walking into a bar and asking for a light beer is like walking into an airport rather than a stable looking for a ride to Santa Fe.

:P @ Ananta :)


Ananta65 8 years ago

My dear Shadesbreath…

You are aware of the flaws in your analogy, I presume? It is accurate, that is true. If you walk into a stable when you want to get to Santa Fe, you’re obviously in the wrong spot. Just like you’re in the wrong spot when you walk into a bar looking for a light beer. I’d gladly invite you to come to the main land, the land where the roots of both our current beers and the United States are. Come to Europe (UK included) and find a bar where they actually serve beer light. I dare you. :P


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

Shades, I did have fun, glad i could get back here and see the clash of cultures and beer.

Christoph, sad I missed you.

Sixty, I wish our time zones were the same and you could be on here with us at the same time.

I'm just commenting back to people like it is my own hub and it is my job. LOL.


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 8 years ago from South Africa

It is now 6:30pm. I am on my fourth draft after a great lunch and a wine tasting. we did all the flavours of melon, touch of spice, a hint of butterscotch, bullshit. It appears that I have an extremely discerning palate and ordered a draft beer eventually because I was thirsty. I am reasonably mellow. Some of you may interpret that a pissed (not mad USA style) but as Misty will confirm, pleasantly and mildly pickled. I am with you all perhaps a bit ahead of you all that I dearly love and respect. I actually published my christmas hub which might be a touch whimsical, little maudlin, but an accurate reffelection of how I feel right now.

So read enjoy or slate as your pleasure dictates.


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

Awww...you are so adorable all mellow like this Sixty. I'm almost willing to forgive the potato peeler suggestion...almost.

:)


Eaglekiwi profile image

Eaglekiwi 8 years ago from -Oceania

......Roflmao.......been so long since I typed that abbrev....and let me add I am not laughing at you!! ,more amused at the passion this topic has created.

now for what its worth ( dont you dare answer that ) /jk......

If Im gonna drink Id probably choose wine or a beer that is sweet like Bud...( wow Im not even American either ) hehe......actually some of the newer fruity beers are great on a hot sunny day ( like now )....but I wanted to add here Im married to an American who loves his beer ,actually pretty much anything with alcohol in it and he seemed to be dictated to by price and alcohol content when push came to shove.......my brother on the other hand thinks that most beer made in the U.S.A is crap ,prefering real ( his words) made in Germany or Holland......

Im thinking its maybe more of a Patrioctic choice for guys ,just my opinion.....and loved reading your hub....( im a newbie and boy theres so much info out there !) woohooo.......


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 8 years ago from California Author

Glad to have you Eaglekiwi. I can tell you right now, if you are looking for information, you won't find any on my hubs. Well, not very often. If you do find some, it was an accident and I'd take it back if I could figure out how. Since you had the good taste to marry an American (plus the fact you appear to be a chick) you get to have whatever opinion you like. It's only people like Ananta whose opinions are evil... but, he's not an American, so technically, he can't really be what's wrong with America, so, even his opinion is ok. We expect Europeans to be kind of fru-fru and in need of putting on airs. We like that about them, really, gives us something to snicker at over the beer of our choice.

And Sixty, I can't wait to read your inebriated hub. I hope you swear and rant and stuff like I do when I write hubs in that condition.

And Spryte... forgiveness? You? Say it's not true!

/ducks


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Will look forward to reading that hub shortly mellow sixtyorso :)


Len Cannon profile image

Len Cannon 8 years ago from Brooklyn, NY

I'll take guy number two protecting me, he seems like he could throw a punch.


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 8 years ago from Australia

Jeez guys I'm with Shades here. I'll just drink whatever f...... beer I feel like at the time. If I'm driving I drink light (tends to bloat you a bit) but if I'm not driving I drink Victoria Bitter! Shit I'll even drink water if I'm thirsty!


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

Shade - Well I did say "almost"... :)


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Water!!! What's that???


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 8 years ago from Australia

misty, you don't bath or shower, or do you use something like milk or rose petals?

I'm only guessing but I would say when we drink beer or spirits(by the time we get them) there is probably more water in them than anything else!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Ahhhh, the stuff we bath in! That is fine, so long as I don't have to drink it :) (Rose petals and milk sound quite good though)


ajcor profile image

ajcor 8 years ago from NSW. Australia

after all we all know what fish do in water - you wouldn't really want to drink the stuff!


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 8 years ago from Australia

Don't fish swim in water? It doesn't seem to hurt them!


Eaglekiwi profile image

Eaglekiwi 8 years ago from -Oceania

waits for a pause in the testosrone levels ....takes a deep breath and blurts...

In the USA "Light" in their beers means less calories but not alcohol ,however here

in New Zealand "Light " refers to lower alcohol content and calories.....

perhaps the breweries all have slightly different guidelines in various countries...

ok guys im off to paint my nails......( yea right )....


best of the web profile image

best of the web 8 years ago from US

:) Thank you for the add :)


Ananta65 8 years ago

There’s nothing patriotic about that, Eaglekiwi. It’s like with hamburgers. We don’t pretend to make a better hamburger than the Americans do. We’re fully aware that the art of making a hamburger has been perfected in the new world. Our cuisine has developed into a different direction. We acknowledge that. And with American beer, it’s sort of the same. As Shakespeare wrote (King Henry IV, Part II): “I do now remember the poor creature, small beer”

Mind you, I’ll never criticize a guy’s choice of beer. If I’m offered one I’ll gladly join him in drinking it without complaining. Like Jesus, I’ll accept it and just think: “forgive them father, for they don’t know what they’re drinking”. Unless – of course – when it’s a light beer (as brewed in the Netherlands). A man might just as well drink water in that case.


Eaglekiwi profile image

Eaglekiwi 8 years ago from -Oceania

am wondering why in London they serve the beer warm?

what's that about?

Heard they served a chocolate beer too but sadly haven't tried it yet.

and hamburgers well ya gotta have healthy cows right?

prime beef an all that...

happy cows make happy burgers...grills n frills thrown in for extra measure.


Amanda Severn profile image

Amanda Severn 8 years ago from UK

Hey Eaglekiwi

If you've been served warm beer in London, you're drinking in the wrong pubs. Catch a train to the coast. They certainly don't serve warm beer in Sussex, or at least not in any pub I've been to!


Ananta65 8 years ago

I've said it once and I'll say it again: English beer is like having sex in a canoo *lol*


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 8 years ago from California Author

Yeah, but having sex with English girls in canoes has to be worth it with all that hawt accent thing going on. You just have to learn how to tweak your perspective, Ananta. :)

Oh, and Misty and Agvulpes, fish poop in water, I believe that's the point. So if your beer is made from seawater or aquarium water, be afraid. However, the bathing thing does bring up a whole new marketing idea. What if they saved bathwater from hawt chick celebrities and made beer. You know how Coors Light is the water taken from the virgin snows upon the lofty peaks of the Rockies... how about Keira Knightley beer or Rebecca Romijn Light?


Pat Merewether profile image

Pat Merewether 8 years ago from Michigan

The ad industry has turned everyting into a marketing strategy and a lot of folks are dumb enough to fall for it. bahhhhh.

Going out for a beer or two is a social activity - not a neener-neener event. lord.

good hub.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 8 years ago from California Author

Pat, if you're referring to Spryte's neener neener up there a few comments back, Spryte is a habitual neener-neener type person. She actually doesn't even mean to, the neener-neeners just come out; it's like Tourette Syndrome except with childish behavoir rather than profane. We just give her cookies and she's fine.


Ananta65 8 years ago

You got me there, Shadesbreath *lol*


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

What?! Will all the comments made on this particular hub I get rousted for doing one little (well deserved I might add) neener-neener? *rolls my eyes*

I want good cookies this time. Those ones with the "milk bone" imprint on them that you gave me last time were a tad dry.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 8 years ago from California Author

Yeah, but the bag said they were good for your teeth. I was showing my concern for proper oral hygiene.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 8 years ago from St. Louis

Y'all have been as busy as a couple of beer-soaked beavers. For the record, it was Talulah Bankhead who said, "I never drink water...fish f*** in it, you know."

I like the idea of Kiera Knightly Beer. They couldn't use soap or cleaning stuff is all. Just water - oh hell, make it rocky mountain spring water - and I think you've got a winner! I used to work in a place as a MC that occasionally had hawt chicks jello wrestling. After the wrestling, the jello was kind of liquified, you know? I would dare guys, and sell them shots of the stuff for a buck. It's amazing what you can get a room full of drunk guys - testosterone oozing from their pores - to do.


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

Oh!  Well in that case...thank you for caring so much!

That celebrity stuff reminded me though...wasn't there a thing where celebrities were having soap made out of their own liposuctioned fat?


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 8 years ago from Southern California, USA

I never judged anyone for drinking beer, just so long as people leave me alone about liking veggies and preferring a soda over liquor. Brilliant hub once again. I to have noticed there now seem to be beer connoisseurs, but I thought it was just beer.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

'neener neener' sounds like a Police Car siren to me, or is that more a 'neenaw neenaw' noise??


ajcor profile image

ajcor 8 years ago from NSW. Australia

Thank you Chris - back late - my point entirely as it was indeed Talulah Bankhead who said, "I never drink water...fish f*** in it, you know." cheers.


Chris Baker profile image

Chris Baker 8 years ago

Cheers. Prosit. Schol


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 8 years ago from California Author

Misty, I think it depends where you are. I've noticed sirens sound different in different parts of the world.

Chris: /cheers


Tari profile image

Tari 7 years ago from New Zealand

so.. i just read this.. im not a beer snob.. i know what i like.. and what i don't.. if its cold.. on a hot summers day.. its the best beer in the world.. nuff said.. lol

burp..


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

Your country is proud of you, Tari. Not to mention you fall into that delightful category of chicks drinking beer. I salute you!


Joe 7 years ago

OMFG are you all stupid cos you're American or something?

I'm from Oz and if someone chucks you a LIGHT beer, you throw it at his/her head. Its not the brand of beer that us Aussies care about, its the fact that its a LIGHT beer designed for metrosexuals in denial. If anyone has gotten drunk in an Aussie bar would know that we don't care what we're drinking, as long as there is something to drink!!!


Joe 7 years ago

OMFG are you all stupid cos you're American or something?

I'm from Oz and if someone chucks you a LIGHT beer, you throw it at his/her head. Its not the brand of beer that us Aussies care about, its the fact that its a LIGHT beer designed for metrosexuals in denial. If anyone has gotten drunk in an Aussie bar would know that we don't care what we're drinking, as long as there is something to drink!!!


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

Hmmm, there's a lesson in there somewhere. Beyond that, thanks for sharing, Joe. I'll remember to duck if ever I'm in Oz. And I had no idea I was a metrosexual in denial. Frankly, I was really upset when you said that, and now my mascara is running.


Malcolm_Cox profile image

Malcolm_Cox 5 years ago from Newcastle, England

Chicks shouldn't drink beer, they should serve it!!! only joking! I'm from a country that's been drinking beer for 1500 years....we all have beer bellies and bad breath! I love a nice pint of Heineken. We drink our beer by the pint here in the UK!

Love this hub!


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 5 years ago from California Author

I be Heineken there doesn't taste ANYTHING like it does here.

Thanks for reading, and for not breathing on me :)


NF 5 years ago

Below art and "paradoxically above art," beer is its own dimension, no tradition more sacred to american men than beer, going all "fashion-sense," whine whine whine. I've read a lot of annoying writers but you are one of the most whiniest posturing annoying writers I have ever read. "Look at me, I like light beer, and because its beer I'm manly, because drinking beer is manly, so people shouldn't say bad things about light beer, and foreigners trying to sell beer are ruining America by encouraging people to drink better beer, and I'm manly because I drink beer."

Also, light beer is beer for people who don't like beer. If I'm wrong, why don't you drink regular Coors?


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 5 years ago from California Author

Hi NF. I am happy to know I have annoyed you. As a writer, particularly one who enjoys humor (which I'm thinking you are unfamiliar with), few things are as rewarding as knowing that some pithy little bit of satire is taken seriously and sets to spasming the colon of some tightly-wound such-and-such as you may be. And for that very joy, I will grant you the position of winner in our little exchange just so that you may know the joy of victory! Congratulations, you win the Internet!


Rick Morris 3 years ago

I can drink a Trappist Tripel and piss a Coors Light.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 3 years ago from California Author

I bet passing the bottle hurts worse than a kidney stone, but I admire your dedication.

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