Booty Call Agreement

So There's No Misunderstanding...

Just so you know... put this in place to avoid to a "Craigslist moment" : Read on and enjoy!

BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT

This Booty Call Agreement (here in a after referred to as "The Agreement")

is entered into on the ____day of,________, 2008,

between __________________________ (the Caller)

and __________________________ (the Booty).

THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES.

1. No sleeping over unless sex was exceptional and a morning repeat is required.

2. No meeting in public for dinner or drinks before the event of the evening.

3. No calls before the event of the evening.

4. None of that "Love making" Sh*t - Only sex is Allowed.

5. No emotional disscussions i.e: where are we heading with this?/Do you love me?

6. No plans made in advance - that is why the Booty Call is also referred to as the "Back Up".Call

7. All gifts accepted - Money always good.

8. No baby talk - not to be confused with dirty talk.

9. No asking for a comparison with former lovers-it's none of your damn business.

10. No referring to us as "Friends with Benefits" - we aren't friends, just sex buddies.

11. Calling out the wrong name druing sex is okay.

12. No extra clothing left behind when you leave.

13. No falling asleep after sex - it's over,so get your-ass up, get dressed and go home.

14. Don't be offended if I Don't ask if you enjoyed it - I Don't care.

15. You can not borrow my car for any reason.

16. If anyone asks who you are, the standared response will be: "My roomates Girlfiend/Boyfriend"

17. Doggie Style is the Preferred postion.

18. Reason for Doggie Style:The less eye contact, the better.

19. NO Condoms, N0 F**king, get your ASS to 7-11 and get some.

20. Bring your own drink - I am not a Liquour store.

21. No Phone use -I Don't want Any one calling back looking for your Ass.

22. Any attempts of jealousy will be laughed at .

23. Pregnency problems aren't the guys problem until comfirmed and notarized ( The position of father is not ours to apply for )

24. The phrase "I don't do that , it's nasty " will be removed from the female vocabulary .

25. No hinting for changes to the original contract , If you don't want to feel dirty or whore-ish, then go take a shower and don't ask for money.

26. Fuck Your feelings,they're your feelings for a reason . If you love me , I would probably hear from you more often instead of 2am when you "want to talk"

27. Your friends are eligible for the same contract we have.

28. No goodbye kisses in public.

29. No arguments will be permitted. (Obviously we aren't in a relationship for a reason - so don't feel the need to remind me)

30. Anyone who gets hurt over the whole process is the person with feelings responsibility.

31. I'm not your man/woman so don't ask me to do anything that your man/woman should unless it's sexual.

Failure to comply with the Rules above will result in termination of this agreement, meaning You Will Be Removed From The BOOTY CALL LIST and DELETED from Speed Dial And Email List. In Other Words, you will be BLOCKED from All Communications until your silly ass underdstands the Rules.

Participating Party Signatures,

_________________________ Date______of,______2008.

_________________________ Date______of,______2008.

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Comments 1 comment

Sunshine 8 years ago

This is pretty funny-- wish I had come across it sooner.

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