Cartoonize yourself Cartoonize myself

We need more verbs

Given the gabillions of words in our English language, cartoonize is not one of them. Someone smarter than this author thought it up, but it has yet to be accepted into the dictionary. At least dictionary.com overlooks it.

Evidently it's a verb. Using it in a sentence:

"Cartoonize yourself!"

The subject is an implied "you" as in "You cartoonize yourself!". The verb is "cartoonize" and the word "yourself" is a gerund or a preposition or a dangling participle or some other inconsequential word that's just put in so the sentence will make sense.

We assume that "cartoonizing yourself" implies making yourself into some semblance of a cartoon. Consider the epic film Space Jam, in which noted thespian Michael Jeffrey Jordan tumbles down a rabbit hole and into an animated feature film. Certainly this represents one example of involuntarily cartoonizing oneself.

Things to do

  • Mow the lawn
  • Put out the dinosaur
  • Install Windows 7
  • Cure Cancer
  • Cartoonize myself

Is Cartoonizing the new playground insult?

Hearken back to classic TV sitscoms of the 1970's. Noted thespian John Travolta portrayed eternally conflicted Vinny Barbarino on ABC's Welcome Back Kotter. Responding to Mr Kotter's interminable stream of bon mots, Travolta gave us the never to be forgotten insult "Up your nose with a rubber hose." Perhaps he should have rolled out a strong rendition of "Go cartoonize yourself." Who can say where his career would have ended up.

Why do so many web sites offer to cartoonize?

Something special this way comes. Cartoonizing oneself must surely include some redeeming social value, else so many online cartoonizing services would not offer free participation. Deep down in our psyches we all want to look like a cartoon. The process hides blemishes. Receding hairlines vanish in a tangled thicket of tousled auburn locks. Noses retreat to normal proportions.

At least we think so.

The Invisible Man, cartoonized
The Invisible Man, cartoonized

How can this happen?

Do we have a cartoonizing conglomerates? Are cartoonizing requests bundled into crates and shipped off to a massive multinational corporation specializing in abstracting human faces? Does that unmarked van parked in the neighbor's driveway contain freelance cartoonizing specialists working on contract to fulfill the massive worldwide demand for colorful visage renderings?

We think so. Good luck proving us wrong.

What is the down side?

Massive amounts of computing power are consumed for calculating cartoonized complexions. Voluminous volumes of requests push helpless CPUs to the brink of overload. The next time you click the "Cartoonize me" button, give a care to computers running red-hot simply to make you look pretty.

Rendering graphics, even cartoon graphics, requires millions of decidedly non-cartoonish instructions CPU instructions to be executed. Really smart computer programmers toil in anonymity to produce the logic that gets it done. it's not magic, although the result appears magical.

What is the future of cartoonizing?

Look down the cartoonizing road and speculate what might be zooming at us with the speed of a quad core Pentium. 3D cartoonizing, perhaps? Will we need cartoon glasses?

  • Classic films will be cartoonized.
  • Evening news will be cartoonized
  • Congress will be cartoonized. Never mind, too late.
  • Real life will be cartoonized.
  • South Park will be cartoonized.

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Comments 10 comments

drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida

I just finished reading this funny soliloquy, nicomp, and now I'm looking for an aspirin. But it has to be the cartoon version.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@drbj : Cartoon drugs can be more beneficial than the real thing.


The Old Firm profile image

The Old Firm 6 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

A cartoon is more correctly a rough drawing turned out by an artist to work from, as a memory help when making the final work. Over time the meaning has become distorted to describe caricatures. I don't need to caricaturise myself; God has a weird sense of humour.

Cheers,

TOF


TnFlash profile image

TnFlash 6 years ago from Tampa, Florida

Great Hub! You have a really great sense of humor. Every once in a while I still look up the keyword phrase "make money online selling used words." You'll be happy to know you ARE STILL in the Number ONE position. It encourages me to keep trying to get the number one spot. What does "cartoonizing" myself cost? I bet this is the reason you see so many ads. Have a great day and keep the Hubs rolling.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Thank you for your kind words. I forgot all about the used words hub. It's great to hear that I still dominate that category!


Springboard profile image

Springboard 6 years ago from Wisconsin

I guess this is better somehow than just being a cartoon, which I've been called a time or two. :)


William F. Torpey profile image

William F. Torpey 6 years ago from South Valley Stream, N.Y.

I was wondering what this "cartoonize yourself" is all about. It have the feeling that it's a daunting task for computer dummies like me, so I'm not likely to try it. Nevertheless,I'd like to see some of the folks I know cartoonized.


NIMA 6 years ago

I LIKE IT


jason 6 years ago

i dont know


kat11 profile image

kat11 5 years ago from Illinois

This hub really made me laugh! good luck with upcoming hubs.

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