Celebrity Weight Loss Secrets

What's her secret?

You can say a lot of things about celebrities. You can call them vapid, shallow, and a waste of oxygen, but if we didn't have them, who would our children look up to? Politicians? Authors? Scientists? Bah! What a ridiculous thought. Celebrities have carved out their place as the new gods of the modern age, and if there is one thing a celebrity knows how to do, it is lose weight.

Celebrities can be 100 pounds one day, 300 the next and back down to 120 for that role playing a frumpy older housewife, before dropping the excess 40 pounds to attain a modelesque 80. Normal mortals have no idea how to achieve this kind of yo yo weight success, partially because they are not motivated enough, and partially because they are not as good as celebrities.

Don't be offended by that last statement. I'm not a celebrity either. Like you, I am but a lowly consumer drone destined to purchase products they endorse and feel bad about myself for not looking like an angel / human hybrid.

Here's how the celebrities do it...

Plastic Surgery

Plastic surgery in the form of liposuction is generally considered a highly effective form of celebrity weight loss. Whilst it does carry with it some risk of death, it works pretty much straight away, unlike other forms of weight loss therapy which may require ongoing use of willpower and a change of lifestyle.

Gastric Band Surgery

Gastric band surgery is normally reserved for those who are dangerously obese, and involves the insertion of a band around the stomach, which effectively shrinks it. Wild ice cream and chocolate mousse binges become a thing of the past as the stomach is simply no longer able to hold the amount of food necessary for weight gain. Over a period of months, the recipient finds themselves losing weight due to this fact.

Drug Abuse

Drug abuse is perhaps one of the most effective weight loss methods in the world. Just look at Amy Winehouse's svelte figure. She barely has enough flesh to keep the skin from rubbing directly over her bones. At one time she was a relatively normal young woman, however copious drug abuse has seen her plummet to a coveted and delirious size 0.

Photoshop

When all else fails, there is Photoshop. With a consistent enough use of Photoshop, any celebrity can fool the general public into thinking that they are a perfectly formed angel. The truth of the matter is irrelevant, because most people don't really want to know what a celebrity actually looks like. After all, the only idol worth worshiping is a false one.

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Comments 7 comments

abhitgo profile image

abhitgo 7 years ago

ha ha ha... great hub.

Especially the Photoshop Idea..


Ladybird33 profile image

Ladybird33 7 years ago from Georgia USA

I have to tell you that after reading this, it does make you think because we all look at these people and wish we could be thinner, however, not this way! Thanks for bringing me back to reality on Hollywood.


SatinJenni profile image

SatinJenni 7 years ago from Burlington Ontario Canada

I maintain my celebrity weight status(hehe) by consuming from all the right food groups in the proper quantity prescribed by government.

I partake of plenty of exercise, definitely the best way to lose weight. Stay hydrated and drink lots of water.

Make the proper lifestyle choices early in life and stay with them. Your body will thank you through out life especially as you get to be older.


Hope Alexander profile image

Hope Alexander 7 years ago Author

Glad you enjoyed the hub, guys :) I like your adherence to the government line, SatinJenni, I feel it can only lead to good things in the future :)


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 7 years ago from Arizona

Ah.. SatinJenni, is quite correct, although I hope both, she and you, Hope are referring to the suggested food pyramid and not government control....

Another great hub. Too many women fuss with bein overweight, when they are perfectly pleasant and normal. How do you get women to accept the fact that we men love the full bodied woman.

Looking back to the '50s and maybe a little later, there was a time of oil paintings of the full bodied woman, posed with the "sinful" portions covered while stretched out on victorian style sofas and other furnishings. I remember when such oils were hung in the pubs, and many homes. Sadly, no more.

Bring back the full bodied woman packed in a pair of tight jeans with a protrusive panty line and I will follow them for blocks......


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 7 years ago from Arizona

I forgot to add one item. Many celebs have personal chefs who carefully lay out the dietary menu for them.


Rezmelts Review profile image

Rezmelts Review 7 years ago

Great hub, I enjoyed the review of the methods. Especially Photoshop! Even my 13 years old daughter knows how to do it!!

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