Daily Weird #20 Santa's reindeer were eating mushrooms and flying high

ohhh, are those magic mushrooms I see???
ohhh, are those magic mushrooms I see??? | Source

Winter can be boring. It can be boring for you and me, and apparently even the animals get a little bored. What to do, what to do?

We humans have a lot of things we can do. We can play board games, we can watch TV, and we can count our fingers and toes, all things not available to the average animal.

So, what do animals do when they get bored? Apparently, they do drugs.

According to scientist, Andrew Haynes, animals often eat “magic mushrooms” to cure the winter doldrums. Reindeer, especially, hunt out these mushrooms during the winter months. It’s most likely a pre-requisite to being allowed to pull Santa’s sleigh. The reindeer who eats the most mushrooms gets to be in the lead.

Rudolph must have been a mushroom eating fool! Perhaps that’s the real reason for the glowing nose. Maybe he even washed the mushrooms down with a pint or two for good measure. Scientists are currently looking for the moonshine still. With magic mushrooming going on, they figure moonshine can’t be far behind.

There have been rumors floating around that what Santa actually had in his “bag of toys” were hallucinogens. It’s big money. Santa’s cover has been impenetrable. Hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of magic mushrooms get bootlegged by Santa every year. Again, this is only a theory, so don’t ruin it for all the kids until we have actual proof. In the meantime, you may want to make sure your children don’t lick their toys.

In a bit of a twist in the story, it seems that when herdsmen drink reindeer urine, they believe they, themselves can fly. I don’t know how the herdsmen originally discovered this particular jewel of knowledge, and I’m don’t think I want to. However, it does make me wonder what Mrs. Clause has been putting in Santa’s eggnog all these years.

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Comments 18 comments

mysterylady 89 profile image

mysterylady 89 5 years ago from Florida

I love your tongue-in-cheek humor. I always wondered why Rudolph's nose was red. Now I know!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

mysterylady- Thanks for stopping by and for the compliment.

It does my heart good to see someone has learned a little something from my writing... I'm all about the education.


tnderhrt23 profile image

tnderhrt23 5 years ago

sueroy, you are just too funny! I always wondered about Rudolph's red nose, too! Magic mushroom eating fool, indeed! I plan to post a new sign next year next to the Christmas tree..."Do NOT lick the toys!" You are a hoot!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

tenderheart- thanks for coming by and commenting. It always does my heart good when someone else besides me is laughing!

I would LOVE to see that sign! Too funny!


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 5 years ago

You have cleared up the mystery of Rudolph's nose for me and I am thankful.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Pop- It warms my heart to know I was a help for you. Thank you for letting me know!


Pixienot profile image

Pixienot 5 years ago from Clarksville, Indiana

And here I thought it was magic? See...we mothers learn from our daughters, too!

Mushrooms - who'd a thunk?


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

Here's to those very clever magic mushroom-seeking reindeer. They are a lot wiser by far than those urine-drinking herdsmen.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Pixie- it is magic, mom. Don't let the facts stand in the way. Magic is much cooler. :)


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Drbj- Thanks for stopping by. As always you get right to the heart of the matter.


tnderhrt23 profile image

tnderhrt23 5 years ago

Sueroy333, drbj has a good point! hahahahaha! I just love you guys!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

tenderheart- Thank you for the sweet comment. You haven't been eating any funny mushrooms have you?


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 5 years ago from USA

Hi sueroy - thanks for the funny story. I wonder now if folks are going to try to capture reindeer to train and to take the place of those truffle-hunting pigs. I feel sorry for the pigs if that happens, for then the pigs are going to be known as sausages.

Gus :-)))


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Gus- lol! Can you imagine if the pigs ate the truffles they found? Those would be some mind blowing sausages!


ChrisLincoln profile image

ChrisLincoln 5 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

Sue,

Been MIA for a while, got a bit of a tummy thing after eating, what I believe, was, riendeer poop.

Could happen to anyone, who doesn't get the munchies after schrooming?

And drinking the urine - that's disgusting!

(The lack of poop in the story concerned me, just helping out here...)

Happy (but not chemically enhanced) New Year,

Chris


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Chris- sorry about the poopy-bug. They aren't very nice. Thank you for helping out in the excrement area, I think you jumped my score a couple points by mentioning poop. I can't tell you what that means! :)

Happy New Year to you and SHE WMBA as well.. (un-reindeer enhanced)


QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 5 years ago

Hahaha... Santa's special urine flavoured eggnog...

I think I just lost my appetite. :P


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Qudsia- I believe I lost my appetite with the first Daily Weird I did. It hasn't gotten any better... did you see the Mankini??? Ugh! I just can't seem to help myself, besides, it's a great weight-loss plan.

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