Daily Weird #23 The new pee game for men

Milk out your nose is one of the more popular games.
Milk out your nose is one of the more popular games. | Source

Drink two large Slurpies, or Beer. Beer is probably best.

I’ve heard boys can be potty trained by having them sink Cheerio’s in the toilet. This apparently works for grown-up boys as well.

A group of Japanese inventors, who I will assume are all men, hooked up with Saga and invented a toilet game called Toylets for urinals. No, I’m not kidding. This is completely true, and as a woman, I’m totally ripped that I can’t play!

So, here’s how it works. First of all, you must have the right equipment to play. This is why I’m bummed out. Not only do I not have the right equipment, it’s my understanding that it’s not possible for me to buy the right equipment either. No one who has it is selling.

Second, you must go to one of only four locations where these prototypes are being evaluated. These all happen to be in Japan, and it’s only until January 31st, so buy your plane ticket now.

Third, drink at least two large Slurpies, or beer. Beer is probably best. Two beers for the beginners, a six-pack for the experts.


Don't let competition lead to sword fighting...

Source

Once you’re completely prepared you may step up to the urinal and begin your game. Please be courteous and make sure the person in front of you has completed his game before you begin. Not being considerate in this manner can lead to sword fighting. Sword fighting is not part of the game, and certainly not recommended.

If you were considerate, then it is now your turn. You may choose from one of four games.

The first is called, Mannekin Pis.(I’m thinking this is probably pronounced Man He Can... well, you get the idea). I am completely not making this up. As the name implies it measures how strong you are, or rather, how strong your stream is. It’s a completely different take on the Strong Man contest.

The second game is called Graffiti Eraser. In this game you use the elimination process to eliminate graffiti. Please do not try to use this to clean up your communities.

The third, and I’m sure most popular game, is called “The North Wind, The Sun, and Me.” The stronger the stream, the stronger the wind. When the wind blows, the skirt on the girl lifts. I believe, however, this game may have to be pulled due to injuries.

The final game is called, “Milk from the Nose” or “Battle Stream”, depending which source you want to believe. I think it should be called “Milk coming out of the end you don’t expect”.

This last game is a multiplayer. You don’t play other guys at the same time because, well, that would just be gross. You do, however compare your…. Score… to the guy who went right before you

The stronger your stream, the more milk comes out of your animated guy’s nose. This isn’t disgusting at all.

Then the strength of your stream is measured against players before you, with the strongest stream causing the milk emanating from the guy’s nose to blow the weaker pee-er out of the ring. If you were stronger than the guy in front of you, and he waited around to see if he got “knocked out” he can always drink more beer and try again.

If you get a really great score, you can even download your game to take with you. You can’t watch your download at non-sensored urinals, so I imagine that you would just watch your awesome game on your home computer and relive the moment.

It just goes to show the creativity that can develop from learning how to sink name brand cereal during potty training.

While I am jealous because I won’t be able to play, I would like to say, to the inventors of this fine Toylet, Way to Go!

More by this Author


Comments 37 comments

Fiddleman profile image

Fiddleman 5 years ago from Zirconia, North Carolina

Funny. I heard this one about two men peeing from a bridge. One said ,"Man that water sure is cold." The other said "Yep, deep too."


eovery profile image

eovery 5 years ago from MIddle of the Boondocks of Iowa

When I was in Branson Missouri, one of the theaters (Yakov) had a peeing game in the urinal.

Keep on hubbing!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Fiddleman- I can see it now, I'm going to get a stream of "men peeing" jokes. Strangely enough- I LOVE pee jokes!

Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for the laugh! :O)


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

eovery- seriously? Sweet! Was it anything like these games?


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

Toylet sound like as much fun as going to a waterpark,lol.;)


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Mentalist-Yes, I'm fairly certain we ladies will NEVER get our men out of the bathroom now!


ChrisLincoln profile image

ChrisLincoln 5 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

Sue,

We aim to please...

Thank you, thank you, you are too kind..

Well its better than not aiming which gets us into a world of hurt.

At my primary school in England there was a window above the urinals, just over our head height, which was always open due to the, um, aroma.

Every boy knew that fame and fortune awaited him, or at the very least, the adulation of his peers if he could pee out of the window. A mighty feat worthy of respect.

We were little. We failed. There were many shirts with pee down the front. The teachers were mystified.

And just when you might have the hight and bladder capacity to master the task, they moved you up to the juniors - no window.

Isn't life a bitch.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Chris- OMG! The imagery of this "pissing contest" is awesome. I've always heard guys get into those, but I've never known exactly how that worked.

Thank you. I have waited my whole life for this knowledge. Now I can die happy.


ChrisLincoln profile image

ChrisLincoln 5 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

Sue,

Don't you know that EVERYTHING is a competition with men. If there are points involved, real or imagined, they will do it. Those guys in Japan are really onto something, especially if it allows guys to compare pissing stats, longer, stronger, faster...

Yes, the Peeing and Pooing Olympics. You might be an honorary guest, services to potty humor ...


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Chris- you're so right. That's why, in general, men are so much more fun than women to hang out with.

Most women are offended when I ask if they want to have a peeing contest.

I'm considering swiping a few of my kid's catheters so I can join the fun. I really can see the draw.

I thank you from the bottom... of my heart for the honorary Pee and Poo Olympic guest services thought, but my potty humor is stinky next to those greats like Stan and Shadesbreath. I can only humbly thank you for thinking I might be a contender.

You are a good friend, Chris. :)


ChrisLincoln profile image

ChrisLincoln 5 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

Sue,

Congrats on 100 followers! and in under three months.

Damn potty humor...


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

Well, you know I just have to be a part of this intellectual discussion so here goes:

What is the opposite of urine? Give up?

You're out!

Thanks, sue, for the toilet games update; now I feel complete.


W. K. Hayes profile image

W. K. Hayes 5 years ago from Bryson City, North Carolina

I'll have to remember the cheerios trick the next time I go LOL...That is a great article...dare I ask...but, can't they come up with something for women, too? It is my experience that most women spend more time in the bathroom, anyway...it just ain't fair! LOL


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Chris- Thank you! I was really excited! W.K. Hayes was my 100th follower! I think you were like my first!

Oh, and It is the damn potty humor. Isn't that a pisser? I still haven't broken the $3.00 mark with adsense though. Also a pisser! :)


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

drbj- anywhere there is a high-society type intellectual discussion, I can count on you to put your two dollars worth in. I would say two cents, but that would be belittling your contribution.

Great joke! I'm a little offended at the potty humor, but I'm sure I'll find a way to deal with my discomfort. :) Thank you!!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

W.K. Hayes- I couldn't agree more! I'm very miffed that they didn't find a way to include women. Although, as I mentioned earlier, I haven't met a woman yet who was willing to have a peeing contest with me. Too bad really, it does seem like fun!

It was so nice of you to think of the women and want to share!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Ok, I work in a lab and we analyze blood and body fluids. The major fluid we handle is pee. (I still haven't figured out why nurses can't screw the lid on a cup of pee properly, but I digress).

Christmas holidays came and our loving doctors sent a bouquet of lollipops to the lab. (This was before the ban of edibles in the lab). The day shift wanted to preserve the bouquet so they hung a little sign on the basket saying, "These lollipops have been dipped in pee." I'm sure to discourage the other shifts to ignore the temptation of eating the lollipops. The next day, the day shift comes in and sees a slightly larger sign saying, "These lollipops have been dipped in pee twice!".

Also, I can't count the times we've put orange juice in the urine cups and performed a "taste" test in front of the docs or nurses. hahahaha what fun!

I visited an art museum here in Austin that had urine in bags and they were hung artfully on the wall. Title: Urine on a wall.

But wait, there's more! We also get the big jugs of urine when the doctors order a 24 hour collection. Do you know how much a person pees in 24 hours? I do! For Halloweeen, we often use the jugs for lemonade and Mountain Dew Punch. (secret recipe).

I should do a whole hub on this, huh?


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

One up on Fiddleman:

Two male braggarts peeing off a bridge -

"Gee, that water is sure cold."

"Yeah, and isn't that bottom rough?"

Funny Hub and voted that way.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

@Austin- I know the jugs you're talking about. That is some seriously twisted stuff! I love it.

Yes, you should do a hub on that! Be sure and let me know so I don't miss it! lol!

@Willstarr- you made me laugh out loud! Seriously!

Thanks for stopping by AND for voting!

Oh, and you win.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 5 years ago from United States

Sue, These jokes are very funny. I think WillStarr won also. I can't imagine wanting to play the game but then I'm not properly equipped.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Pamela- Thanks for stooping by. I do mean stooping. It was kind of you. Two votes for Will, yep, it looks like he's the winner for sure!

I can't imagine NOT wanting to play the game, but I'm twisted.

My sister-in-law said they most likely came up with this game as a way to keep the men's bathroom cleaner. Apparently they're proving that when men try, they actually CAN hit their targets.


Pixienot profile image

Pixienot 5 years ago from Clarksville, Indiana

Voted up and funny!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Thanks, mom! It's nice to know I can always count on you liking my weirdness! Thank you for the vote as well!!!


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Just so that you know that I was here and voted up and funny!!!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Susan- That was so sweet of you!! Thank you!!


Zanerus profile image

Zanerus 5 years ago from United states

And theres a reason I think the Japanese have to much free time.

A highly distrubing invention indeed.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Zanerus- Someone mentioned that this game probably came about as a way to keep the walls clean. From what I've heard about the guy's public restrooms, we could use that game here in the states too!


Zanerus profile image

Zanerus 5 years ago from United states

That could be one reason, and I must agree yuck.

I'm male and I rarely understand how they get so bad.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Zanerus- if it makes you feel any better, the women's bathroom isn't anything to write home about. I don't understand how people can be as nasty as they are sometimes!

I don't foresee a game coming out for us anytime soon, however!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Now how could I pass this up? Well I couldn't! So I didn't! And I'm glad! LOL - I also had fun reading the comments. I think I'm going to have a more interesting Halloween party this year! Now I have so many ideas for the kids:)! LOL


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Realho-Aren't the comments hilarious!! Sometimes I just go back through my hubs and read what other people wrote... there are some very funny people on here!!!

I can't wait to hear how that Halloween party goes!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

I think it should be outside this year!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Realho- Now where's the clean-up fun in that???


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Exactly! You're speaking my language! The 'mess' will be left on the lawn:)


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Realho- just don't forget to have a little something fun for the girls... this game was soooo not made for them! :O)


Greg Sage profile image

Greg Sage 5 years ago from Orlando, Florida

Fascinating.

While I do not have the requisite equipment for sale, I have been known to rent it out on occasion.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 4 years ago from Indiana Author

Excellent. LOL!

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working