Daily Weird # 29 The Naked Chef

Hong Kong is home to great art, amazing parades, and interesting architecture. Hong Kong is also the home of Flora Cheung, Hong Kong’s soon to be naked chef.

Yep, Hong Kong is going to be soaring ahead in the rating games by a nose, or a boob, or a knee, or a bellybutton, or a butt, you get the picture. Well, actually, you don’t, but thanks to channel 24, Adult Hong Kong television, you can… if you have excellent reception, or live in China.

Flora Cheung, a chef, will soon be dishing out Cantonese foods on channel 24, while completely naked. Well, she’s not actually a chef, and she is wearing a transparent apron. She probably even stands behind a table, so I don’t know exactly how naked she will be. She may be wearing socks the whole time, and I’m pretty sure no one will ever know. I’m also fairly certain there will be a staff member dedicated to appropriate product placement. Maybe they should call her the “mostly naked” chef.

She will be beginning the show in the city’s famous wet markets. In case you're curious, she will be completely clothed while shopping. They’re trying to follow the basic “chef show” regiment, no doubt. Spend 10 minutes in a wet market fondling carrots and melons, then hurry back to the studio, strip off your clothing and run into the kitchen. Don’t tell me China’s not mainstream.. and sanitary!

The reasoning behind this show is actually not ratings. No, not at all. According to news reports this show is being made to encourage more men to cook. Of course it is.

I must be dense, because I’m really not sure how naked cooking on TV translates to more men cooking at home. Do the producers believe men will think cooking is more fun if they do it in the nude? Are they encouraging men to ask their wives to cook in the nude? After the men realize that neither they, nor their wives look as appetizing as the hot young model on TV, then what? Does Flora Cheung come to your house and cook naked with your husband?

Yeah, that would be awesome. “Honey, I’d like you to cook more, so I’ve invited a hot naked chick to come over and cook with you.” Sign me up right now! I’m not actually sure if my husband would be OK with that. He’s picky. I’m fairly certain he wouldn’t want naked people in his kitchen, no matter how good looking they were.

I think I’m safe in saying this new show doesn’t really have anything to do with encouraging men to cook. To look.. yes. Of course. They won’t be able to help themselves. Hell, I won’t be able to stop myself from watching either. Of course, I will only watch on days when she cooks with grease. I’m looking forward to it…

“Where’s the grease going to land? I hope it burns somewhere good!” A nipple-burn would totally be worth watching. Is that over-the-top?

Well, actually, it would be through the transparent apron top, so I’m thinking that’s ok.

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Comments 56 comments

Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

Maybe the hot chinese chef will start a sex revolution in China,then who knows,a transparent government?


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

When I was in my twenties, one of my good friends was a barber. He taught me to shave with a straight razor, and told me the best way to shave was right out of the shower while my beard was still hot, wet, and soft.

He was right! I stood there buck naked in front of a steamed-up mirror, smoothly and gloriously removing my morning stubble, until one day I glanced down and considered the consequences of accidently dropping that wet and slipperly blade of doom.

I never again shaved in the buff.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Mentalist- that would be cool! I would totally tune in to see that one, grease or no grease!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Will- You. Are. Funny.... and oh, so wise!

Thanks for the laugh. I would thank you for the warning, but I don't shave my beard, and really have nothing to lose if I did. (I'm still laughing.. actually gafawing is a better description.)


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

Ah, Sue, I knew it was just a matter of time. First the Naked Chef in Hong Kong. Then the Bare Broadcaster on Good Morning America (that will open our eyes for sure). And on to the unclothed Correspondent from CNN. Followed by the Nude Newscaster from your local station.

Of course, this sort of appeal to prurient interests does nothing for me. BTW - Do you happen to have the phone number of the nearest TV satellite company?

Funny and enjoyable hub, Sue.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Naked sledgers are battling it out in Germany. You're right, it's becoming an epidemic!

I do have the number of the satellite company (not that I hooked it up or anything), if you mention my name, for some odd reason, you get a discount.

I believe I was pushing it a bit on this one! :)


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

Nah - this was just a nudge. You'll know you're pushing it when all the Google ads mysteriously disappear from your hub. :)


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Drbj- I really expected to see a red line saying they'd pulled the ads!

I once had the word "topless" in one of my titles and they pulled the ads... Naked, however, seems to be OK.

What the..?


Mr. Smith profile image

Mr. Smith 5 years ago from California

That's just too funny. I don't totally agree, though. Now that me and Mrs. Smith will have the house to ourselves more, I just might want to try this. Because as I get older, I see how far "up" I actually married. Along with the looks, she can cook. The question in my case is, can she do it blindfolded?


Pixienot profile image

Pixienot 5 years ago from Clarksville, Indiana

Susan, I am so laughing! I think your hub was really funny! I can not imagine many women wanting to cook naked.

Not to mention the grease burns, the health hazards for the recipients, the loss of appetite and the shower you would have to take before eating.

Eating in the buff? Nah, not likely to catch on in these United States. Especially with those of us who have children or neighbors who just happen to pop in.

Will gave me a really good laugh. Then I imagined all the things I could do with no clothes on...oh no...I am way to clumsy to even contemplate.

Well, that was probably more than you wanted to hear from me.

Good hub; funny hub. Not over the top. Just the facts ma'am. Just the facts.

Voted up and funny!


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 5 years ago from United States

This is so funny and I can't imagine how a naked TV chef relates to men cooking. Your hub is hysterical. I don't think I have that channel on my TV. Voted/rated funny!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Next we'll have one of those reality TV shows that feature naked bus drivers or naked DPS driver's license examiners. Perhaps we'll see naked butchers at the grocery store? Oh well, what the hell.

funny and rated that way!


TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants 5 years ago from Tucson, Az.

"The fastest way to a man's heart" moves to a whole new level in my cook book. Good job Susan!

jim


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Mr. Smith- I'm glad to see your golden years will not be boring... for you, your wife, or the UPS man with an unexpected delivery!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Pixienot- yes, a bit more information than I would care to know, although I am glad to see you decided not to chance "I've fallen and I can't get up" while being naked.

Thanks for voting good things! :)


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Pamela99- your TV would explode before it allowed that channel to be shown! I'm so glad you liked it. I really was worried I had gone too far, but if you were willing to comment as well as read, I can breathe easier. :O)


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Austin- it's funny you should say that, they are already talking about making this into a series of "naked" shows. Seriously, how attuned are you? Maybe you should be in Hollywood (or at least Hong Kong Hollywood).. I believe you may have a calling...

OMG. I just saw your "naked butchers at the grocery store"! At first I thought, "how gross and dangerous", then I remembered this hot-looking guy at Kroger in the meat department, and thought, "hmmmm". You totally may be on to something!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Manwithnopants- why am I not surprised that you liked this one? Hmmmmm.

Yes, definitely a whole new level.. several levels up I would say!


ChrisLincoln profile image

ChrisLincoln 5 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

Sue.

Jeez...

You know how you wake up one morning with a totally brilliant idea and you rush down to tell the still groggy family about your scheme that is going to make you richer than Croesus?

Well this was it.

A totally nude cooking show...

You could forever make sarcastic leery type comments about buns and cheries and tarts and, oh the list is endless.

Sure, hot things on naked skin are always concerning, but if you just put some whipped cream on the effected spot and get some lovely to lick it off...

I digress

Food and Porn, what a combination. Have it sponsored by a beer company and it becomes the perfect trifecta.

Now I have to go and think of another get rich quick scheme...

C


TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants 5 years ago from Tucson, Az.

I've seriously thought of starting a car wash called Bikini's. You guessed it. College girls in bikinis, making an hourly wage plus great tips keeping those cars clean and shinny. I't be lined up with both clean and dirty cars. Of course each location would have a friendly goon that made sure the girls were kept safe, and treated with respect. If I franchised it, America whould have the cleanest cars in the world.

jim


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Chris-

Leave it to a guy to find the ultimate trifecta in this. Good lord. You need to partner up with Austin and make a million or so this year!

I happen to be privy to your newest REAL (as in might actually happen) "get rich quick" scheme. I know it's teaching middle school kids. I think that's pretty ingenious of you. I'm assuming you're planning on taking their lunch money, or it's just a get lower-middle-class-slowly-scheme.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Manwithnopants- you'd have to have college guys in bathing suits too (not speedo's or Mankini's God forbid!) or only the men would have clean cars.

You are SO thinking like a guy!


TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants 5 years ago from Tucson, Az.

I know, I know .. I hate it when I do that. I've worked so hard on it, but seems like it just keeps happening darn it!

jim


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

manwithnopants-perhaps it would help if you were "manwithaskirt" once in a while.... ? LOL!

Of course, you might get beat up, but the education would so be worth it. :)


TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants 5 years ago from Tucson, Az.

I've looked into Kilts. Is that how you spell it? Anyway, it would be a good compromise for my no pants thing if I wear it out. So far it's proven to be a cool little gimmick, which was badly needed considering my dysfunctions as a writer. (laughing)

jim


ChrisLincoln profile image

ChrisLincoln 5 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

Sue,

As an occasional wearer of a kilt, I can assure you that I have never been beaten up (threats from my brother in law, aside) while wearing what the misinformed might call a skirt. Might be my 250lbs of mean and hairy personage, but, you know, just saying.

Do you think TheManWithNoPants would be interested in frachising? I'll call it, "You show me your's I'll show you mine, car shine"...


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

manwithnopantsbutmaybeonedayakilt-it's a great gimmick. Gimmicks to get people to your site only work, though, if you having something to say. You have a lot to say that needs to be said, people just need to know you're there. They sure won't forget you!!

So I say, wear a kilt, or no pants, or no skirt..ahha! You should totally go into business with Chris. I'm not sure how business savvy he is, but anyone who can to stand around with hairy legs and a skirt..er kilt and not worry about getting beat upon is someone worth having around! Plus he's really funny, too, so you guys could crack each other up while you were counting your money!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Chris- I've put the franchising thing out there to nopants, he hasn't answered yet, which is a bad sign. Of course, I just posted it three seconds ago, so there's a chance he's in the bathroom and hasn't seen it.

Does this mean you're still looking for a "get rich fairly quickly" scheme? If this is true does it also mean that you let one rip during your interview at the middle school and blew your interview?

Of course, if you farted in a middle school, it could mean you were an automatic hire as anyone with the confidence to blow wind in the middle of school could guide those little minds with ease!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

I like the man with no pants idea about the bikini car wash. But we need to do another one for the girls to take their cars to like the Hunks Car Wash which is my idea. They have to wash my car with no shirts on and with or without pants or kilts.

Or they could do the wet t-shirt car wash or even the naked car wash so they could work on their tans at the same time they're cleaning my car. Whatever.

And don't forget, if you're planning to rob a house or commit a murder, be sure to do it naked so you won't leave trace evidence. Don't ask me how I know this.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca

Interesting. I don't think I would be able to resist this. And I really don't think mean would learn anything either. I think they would be too busy staring at the boobs through the apron to know if she was frying, boiling or baking... and what was that... chicken or pork! lol


crystolite profile image

crystolite 5 years ago from Houston TX

oh, what a creditable hub


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 5 years ago from Chicago

I think this show is a great idea! I also think you are a fun and funny writer. Keep up the good work. I enjoyed this piece.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Austin- I know you said not to ask.. but I really, really want to know! C'mon, you know you can tell me. I'll keep it a secret.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

barbergirl- men stare at boobs through a transparent apron? Wow, you really don't understand men at all.... LOL!!

Unlike women, men are pretty straight forward and easy to figure out. Transparent apron+naked boobies= men staring. You nailed it!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

crystolite

creditable=deserving public acknowledgment and praise but not necessarily outstanding or successful.

Thank you... I think.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

James,

You flatter me, and I love it! Thank you so much!

Of course you think the show is a good idea, you're a guy. I think it is a sure hit! You probably like Chris Lincoln and Manwithnopants' idea for a college girl bikini car wash. I would be offended by that, but while I may not be young anymore, I'm not blind and college girls in bikinis ARE hot, I don't blame you guys a bit!

Just don't blame me when I set up shop across the road with Austin and her college hunky stud muffin guys!


M Zvyagintsev profile image

M Zvyagintsev 5 years ago from Auckland, New Zealand

Any chance to get her to cook in my kitchen?


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

MZvyagintsev- Yes. A very good chance. Move to Hong Kong and put your TV set on your kitchen table. Voila!


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 5 years ago

Soon we will all have to go back to loincloths when the price of clothes goes through the roof!


arb profile image

arb 5 years ago from oregon

Personally, I think nude cooking would diminish world wide obesity. I know I'd eat less if my wife was nude. Think I'd develope a bigger appetite for dessert, though. I tried this on Valentines day, years ago; she wanted to see who else was on the menue!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

@breakfastpop- I'm getting out my sewing machine! (and going on a diet, this could get ugly).

@arb-my family would eat less if I cooked in the nude, too- for completely different reasons.

It sounds like your wife has a great sense of humor- just like you!! You guys must have a blast together!!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Clothes leave trace evidence behind at the scenes of crimes. Don't you watch CSI?

You have to wear rubber or plastic gloves though. And be sure to wrap your hair in a tyvek hair cap! Maybe get a Brazil wax too while you're at it. Hairs carry dna.

Get some of those tyvek shoe covers too.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Austinstar- I now know I will never commit murder... it's way too much work. I think we should all watch out for you, though, you seem a motivated, and extremely informed kinda gal.

Have I told you, lately, how incredibly cool I think you are???


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 5 years ago from Chicago

Actually, they have, or had, bikini car washes in Orlando. And they were always crammed full of cars. :-)


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

James- How nice of you to pass on the research. Austin, Chris, Manwithnopants.. I suggest you take a road trip to Florida to see how these guys (and gals) are holding up in this economy.

Oh, and I'm sure we would all like to see the pictures. :)


Stan Fletcher profile image

Stan Fletcher 5 years ago from Nashville, TN

We have tons of bikini barista coffee shops popping up all over Seattle. Or at least that's what I've heard.

Larry the Cable Guy did a hilarious bit about Hooter's waitresses and their short shorts. Something about them needing hair nets to keep stray hairs out of the chicken wings. Sounds like the transparent apron will keep that from being a problem in Hong Kong.... Great hub!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Stan- are you just on here to get your followers back? I told you, I didn't realize you had an agreement sealed by a fart.

That's the holy grail of agreements. I reminded them, and they hung their heads in shame and all went back to the master of the funny. (I had kidnapped them, so they really didn't need to feel bad, but you know how that goes, they were easily brainwashed.. no offense)

Just kidding. Larry the Cable Guy is my hero. I have a hair net hanging in my bathroom just in case I ever decide to work at Hooters.

This girl is most likely hairless. It's a communist thing.

Thanks for stopping by, Oh Great One (and for the shout at..er out) ... it means alot..I mean allot, no wait.. all ot?


m4rkb3rt profile image

m4rkb3rt 5 years ago

Looking Forward to watch her. Thank you for the Info though.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

m4rk- Thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment! You'll have to let me know if the show's any good, as it seems I do not have good enough reception with my rabbit ears and foil.


ketou 5 years ago

ehh.. people will do just about anything :)


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

ketou- so true. It seems they will WATCH people do just about anything as well!


ankur jain 5 years ago

nice


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

ankur jain- thanks for stopping by and commenting!

I'm assuming you're referring to my writing and not the picture of the naked chef. That was so nice of you!

If you should choose to make a comment about the chef, "oh la la" has not been done yet to my knowledge. "Hey baby" has.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

I just could not pass this up! Wicked funny! Yes - this would not encourage men to cook! They'd be sitting in the recliner getting hungry while watching a naked cook and expect the wife to fix him dinner and fetch a beer! Lol!

Plus, I'm not sure my kids would ever eat again if they got a glimpse of that on the family television:)! Lol!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Realho- it's actually pretty gross when you think about it! I totally agree!!!


gio 5 years ago

very funny i'd this post

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