Daily Weird #37 Give me a Fat Ho! (hold the cheese)

Source

Fat Ho Burgers. Good Stuff.


Lakita Evans worked for this, she planned for this and by God, she's making a name with this. Ms. Evans worked her way through college, saved her money, and then opened up the restaurant of her dreams, Fat Ho Burgers. Go Lakita!!

So, what’s the problem?

Lakita said “Ho”. She said “Ho” in her menu items, she said “Ho” in her (gasp) name. And she laughed while doing so. OMG!

Some folks aren’t too happy with that. It seems the Gospel Café’ and Book Shop down the road feels that saying “Ho” is offensive. No one is calling them, or anyone else a whore, so I’m not completely sure why they’re offended. Maybe they’re standing up for the burgers, who, in fairness, cannot stand up for themselves.

Probably they’re just trying to be politically correct. It didn’t used to be this way. The seven dwarfs all said “Ho”. Santa’s trade mark is yelling “ho! ho! ho!”. Hostess has little cakes called double ho’s. Better known as “Ho Ho’s”. I own a hoe.

In current times, however, your race does determine what you can get away with saying and what you can’t.

Imus in the Morning said “nappy headed ho” and that was fine. Wait, no, that’s right, he got fired. Saying it about someone else is taboo. Ms. Evans is making fun of her own burgers.

I gained 50 pounds in the last 4 years for the sole purpose of being able to make fat jokes. A size 2 girl talking about dieting just doesn’t go over so well; and forget about using the word “waddling” unless you’ve hit the double digits in your clothing size. It’s not fair, but there it is.

Jews can make jokes about money. Mexicans can joke about beans. Priests can tell the priest and a nun jokes. (OK, we can ALL do that one. ) Fat chicks can say “fat chicks”, and black people can use racially tinged slang. Puppets (ie. Jeff Dunham ) can make jokes about anything. I think I need a puppet.

(side note: This entire hub has been written by my friend, Chris, the non-gendered sock puppet.)

The controversy has been good for Ms. Evans, her store sold out of burgers on Wednesday. I say good for her. While it’s true that Mel Gibson couldn’t get away with opening up a joint called "Fat Ho Burgers” she can, and she did. She has a sense of humor and she’s using it to her advantage. Ms. Evans stated "It's like clear this world is not gonna get any better. Why cry and be depressed? The economy is bad. Somebody gotta keep a sense of humor around here." (source: http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/food/2011/03/25/2011-03-25_fat_ho_burgers_causes_uproar_in_waco_texas_owner_says_people_are_missing_the_hum.html)

It would be nice if everyone had a larger sense of humor and a smaller sense of offended-ness, but I don’t see that happening any time soon. In the meantime, if I’m ever down in Waco, TX I’m going to stop by. The Fat Chicken Ho sounds scrumptious, of course, I’m on a diet (I ran out of fat jokes) , so maybe I’ll just stick with the Tiny Ho.

Right now, I’ve got to get back to work, so, in the words of the dwarfs (before we all became so politically correct ) “Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It’s off to work I go, Hi Ho, Hi Ho, Hi Ho, Hi Ho, Hi Ho, Hi Ho, Hi Ho, Hi Ho!” Wow. That’s a lot of Ho’s. Here’s hoping no one gets offended.

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Comments 41 comments

ChrisLincoln profile image

ChrisLincoln 5 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

Sue,

I worry at night about how many truly important news stories just slip by, unnoticed, uncared for...but then I realize, Sue is out there, dredging the bottomless pit of tastelessness for us all. With no regard for her personal safety or moral safeguards, this selfless saint of a woman brings us our daily weird.

I salute you Ma'am, with thanks from a grateful hubnation...

C


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Chris- you are welcome.

It's a tough job, schlopping through crap. It's a good thing I enjoy crap, as is fairly evident from my hubs.

Thanks for the salute. I feel all giddy and honored. :)

(which is good, since hubpages pulled the ads. Potty humor is one thing, but saying "ho" is going too far... )


ChrisLincoln profile image

ChrisLincoln 5 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

Seriously? No ads?

Maybe its just the ho in the title...

C


JustAskSusan 5 years ago

Oops guess I am not signed in. Well this is pretty funny and I am so glad that I got to like it before I even read it via Facebook lol. You forgot to add that Stan can make Canadian Jokes (doesn't offend me in the least)....

Up and Funny!


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

Sounds like Ms. Evans is involved in an SEO "coup"or would that be Jihad.;)


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Sooo...does that mean that a 'ho-hum' is some sort of special technique?

I'm just saying...


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Chris- No, I changed the title to see what would happen.. It must be all the "ho"'s in my article. I once played a word game that wouldn't even let me use the word "hoe". I think it's all Don Imus's fault. ooooh.. it could even be because I quoted him saying "Nappy headed ho"...

hopefully when the human people look at it they'll see my ho's are all newsworthy. :)


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Susan- I tell you what... you're just a "likin' fool" there at facebook!! :O)

Of course Stan can make Canadian jokes. Stan has the "it" factor. He can get away with saying just about anything to just about anyone! He's one of those rare individuals that could cuss a person up one side and down the other, and they would walk away with a lopsided grin on their face.

I'm not at all jealous. (I might as well lie, I'm going to Hell anyway) :)


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Mentalist- she hit the lottery with her name, that's for sure! That story is showing up everywhere! I wouldn't have expected that!

If it's a Jihad, she and her "Fat Ho Burgers" are beating the crap out of the infidels!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Will- OMG! I canNOT believe you said that! ROFLMBO!

I will talk about a lot of things, but I think I'll leave the commenting on the naughty bits to you and AustinStar! (you both do that so well!)


TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants 5 years ago from Tucson, Az.

What a terrific point man! The world is losing it's frakin sense of humor. Folks need to lighten up fo sho. I've got to get back outside. I'm putting in a couple of tomato plants, and I've got to get that old hoe of mine busy digging up some dirt!

jim


ChrisLincoln profile image

ChrisLincoln 5 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

Sue,

Once the ManWithNoPants starts talking about his ho, and Will goes where no one dares, pretty much all has been said and done.

I hope she gives you a free one (burger, come on now...) for all the publicity...

C


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Manwithnopantsandahoe-I'm glad to see you're putting your hoe to good work. There's nothing worse than having a hoe that isn't used properly, or that is, god forbid, left alone to do nothing.

Your a good man... with no pants!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Chris- I'll have to e-mail you my comment, as I'm fairly certain my hub would be pulled if I posted it here. You are a bad man for setting me up to go there. I can't stop myself when it's RIGHT THERE!!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

You have done it again and this Real HO thanks you! First I saw the "Give Me A Fat HO" and I swear I thought you were calling my name! LOLRL. (laugh out loud - real loud)! I wish there was a button for super awesome.

They need to step back and leave the HO alone!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

RealHousewife- I tried to write RealHo... and I just couldn't do it. I'll leave that to Stan.. he's better with the mo's and vo's and ho's!

Thank you so much for reading my stuff.. and even more for laughing. Laughing (esp. out loud and real loud...) makes me happy.

I agree. Live and let Live, Laugh and Let Fat Ho Burgers alone!!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Sueroy you are the queen of comedy! Some of you just have that special something that spills out of the computer and is so real and real funny! Bless you for making this RealHousewife laugh!

Feel free to write RealHo - it's funny! I love funny - that's why I have to read all your hubs!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

RealHo... you made my day! Chris Lincoln has called me the queen of the potty (humor), but I believe you have just promoted me from that (porcelain) throne! Queen of Comedy. I like that!

Bless you for laughing, Realho!!

(there, I did it twice and didn't get struck by lightening... that's a good sign) :O)

Thank you SO MUCH!!!


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

Hi, Sue. I guess Lakita proved the adage, "Name the burger Fat Ho and the customers will come."

No further comment.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

See? That wasn't so hard now was it! You people crack me up and it really helps a housewife get through a boring day of toilet scrubbing and laundry while having a gazillion laughs!

You are the Queen!


Truckstop Sally profile image

Truckstop Sally 5 years ago

Fun hub! I love the name! I've spent a lot of time in Waco; my daughter went to college there. It is a BIGtime Baptist town, but their HEB groacery store sells more beer than any other in the state of Texas. The Ho-Burgers are a big hit too. Go figure!


sunflowerbucky profile image

sunflowerbucky 5 years ago from Small Town, USA

This reminds me of that Tim McGraw Song "Back When" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IHQ7EGlnec. I for one applaud Ms Evans ingenuity and enteprenurial spirit. I'm thinking that in the current economic and political climate, the ones with a sense of humor are the only ones who will survive. You've also just solved the mystery of why I can't tell fat jokes without getting evil bitch glares from my friends. Bring on the ho burgers!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Drbj- are you sure that's an adage? I thought it was a Proverb.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Realho- it IS difficult, but I do it because I care.

Hmm. Toilet scrubbing and laundry. You lead the life of a goddess. I know, I've seen the commercials. Isn't that what all women secretly want... to be toilet scrubbers and laundry folders?

Not everyone can... (you lucky realho you)... but we can dream.....


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Truckstop Sally- I used to live in North Carolina...it's the same way. A church on every corner, and a liquor store every mile. Too funny!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Haha! I am taking a break between toilets right now! I do so feel like a goddess right now, what with my magic toilet wand. My children actually think that pixies do these tasks while they sleep and that I am the luckiest woman ever! Ha! Exactly why I go on vacation with "just the girls" once a year:). Amazing how much they miss me:)!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Bucky- I love that song... how times have a-changed!

I agree 100% with you. I think she was smart, and yes, in these economic times, you DO go there!!!

By that I mean, Bucky... DO go there, eat a Fat Ho Burger (or two) twice a day for a month... then see if your fat jokes don't go over a WHOLE LOT better! (In case you can't tell, I'm glaring bitchily at you right now for even THINKING about telling a fat joke!)


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Realho- awww, you go on vacation? You have a "the girls".

I'm so jealous.

I don't even have a toilet brush, I have to make do with a toothbrush and a sponge. (Thank God for gloves)!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Yes! I'm going to tell you more about it in a hub:). I really miss the girls so much though! It's perfect that long distance is now free by cellphone. Don't be too jealous though it's usually only 3 or 4 days:). It's all I can stand - I just know there's going to be damage when I get back. Last time - Maddy was trying to climb up my shelves in my bedroom closet and pulled the whole wall unit down:(. Omg!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Realho- I can't wait for the hub!!! Your kids sound like pistols!! Of course, with Killer Kelly for a mom, could they be anything else?? :O)


Stan Fletcher profile image

Stan Fletcher 5 years ago from Nashville, TN

Funny! Funny! Funny!

Loved it.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Why is that Stan Fletcher? of the "My face is all over the place" Stan Fletchers? How kind of you to stop by. :)

Thanks for the triple funnies. I guess the least I can do is buy some Stan Fletcher merchandise. Have they come out with the toilet paper yet?

(did that sound bitchy? I meant for it to sound funny, so this is the disclaimer: The preceding paragraph was meant with only humor and no bitchiness.)

Also- thank you, seriously, for the comment. :)


Docmo profile image

Docmo 5 years ago from UK

Oh ( that is a reverse Ho, btw, just the way I like em!) what a fun hub. I am delighted with your commentary and it had me chuckling. I delight at this kind of writing and you do it so well, sueroy. But best of all I liked:

It would be nice if everyone had a larger sense of humor and a smaller sense of offended-ness, but I don’t see that happening any time soon.

Amen!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Docmo- Thank you for not only getting my humor, but seeing what I snuck in there under cover of the ho burger! Thank you so much for that! You totally made my day!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Yeah well I think some of us are too dumb to be offended - oh yeah like me! Be a friend sue and please let me know when I should feel the sting of being offended! I hate when I don't get pissed off enough!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Realho- I just had a gob of ideas of when to, and when not to, get pissed off. I was going to write them in a comment... but I think you may just have given me an idea for a hub!

Oh, and that shouldn't make you pissed off!

I'm going to take full credit, though, so feel free and get all snarky. :O)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Oh you have failed at trying to piss me off! I'm smiling! I can not wait - can NOT wait to see what you have dreamed up for us this time!


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 4 years ago from Canada

LOL This past Christmas, I heard some one tell Santa at the mall that he couldn't use the word HO, never mind in triple!! ha ha ha Good for her!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 4 years ago from Indiana Author

I totally agree with the mall people. How horrifying to hear a fat man talk about ho's. In triplicate while laughing and jiggling his belly. LOL!


lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 4 years ago from Bishop, Ca

Sue-you never fail to crack me up-I've shared this hub everywhere and will do so again if I can think up any more sites!

I'd be a Fat Ho, too, but according to Weight Watchers, I'm supposed to be 137 lbs, and after all the B.S. medically, now I'm at 134.5. Underweight? That's definitely a first!

Take great care, you marvelous woman, you!!!

Laurel


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 4 years ago from Indiana Author

I want to be underweight!!! Of course, I don't want the medical issues, so I guess I'll just keep chompin' on a Fat Ho and jogging. :O)

I hope your medical issues are more under control. I have had difficulty keeping up with the wonderful people here at Hubpages ever since my divorce, two jobs, homeschooling and learning to be a ninja came about. I'm getting internet back at home at the beginning of next year. I can't wait to start writing again, and finding out how you are.

I'll check back in when I can, so update me if you get a chance! I hope you gained health and kept the weight lost in never never land (where only those of us trying to lose our own can find it)

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