Daily Weird #38 Using the toilet leads to rich discovery.

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Are you done in there yet??

After discovering phosphate in the toilet area of an expedition in Australia, the geologist exclaimed, “And we thought we were on sterile ground!” ,,,proving once again that global warming is a farce, and scientists are out of touch with reality.

I’ve used my restroom more than once, and can say with certainty that no matter what I might find in there, I would never consider it “sterile ground.”

It appears these really bright men and women, who no doubt were often bullied in school for their lack of ability to identify sterile items, were searching in Australia for a certain something of a valuable nature. They put up their campsite and promptly dug a hole for use as a toilet. They may be out of touch with reality, but even brainiacs recognize the need for a potty hole.

All was going along as usual, until one of the geologists, while availing himself of the luxury bathroom accommodations, got bored and started moving rocks around with his feet while waiting for the evacuation to occur. It’s important to note that the following may never have happened had the geologist had an issue of National Geographic, or Redbook.

Suddenly he realized that the rocks weren’t rocks. Or rather, they were rocks, but very special rocks. Pulling himself together, and promising his colon he would finish what he started later, the scientist ran and grabbed a spectrometer. Now, due to the fact that Jimmy Neutron is a very informative show, I'm pretty sure a spectrometer is a hand held device that can tell you if you are seeing what you think you are seeing, or maybe it's a portable DVD player... I'm not 100% positive.

The spectrometer said, “Good job Mr. Pooper, you have discovered phosphate, along with other useless rocks and some excrement. (See my confusion. I've known DVDs to say stuff like that)

Sadly, the company that sent the geologists out to scour the land, Rum Jungle Resources, explained to the group that they were out in the outback to look for new rum sources not this phosphate crap. They were all chastised severely and sent to bed with no dinner.

The scientists did, however, move their toilet site in case someone else came along who wanted to harvest the useless phosphate. Sadly, however, the team was never able to find any rum. Also, because I know you're wondering, the geologist who made the discovery did finally get to finish his business.

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Comments 34 comments

Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

I don't think I would need a Spectrometer to locate Rum:-))


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Mentalist- well not if I'm wrong and it's a DVD player it probably won't be much help, that's true; although a CD player with the right music might be comforting while looking.

I suggest you start in a liquor store. I've heard they've been known to produce a bit, but again, I could be wrong. I so often am. Maybe you should just start in the outback like these guys. If only I were a scientist, I could lead you better in the right direction. Damn my lack of education!


Christopher Price profile image

Christopher Price 5 years ago from Vermont, USA

A serendipitous scientist with a spectacular spectrometer, how special.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Christopher- I'm amazed. After several attempts, I almost understood that awesome alliteration!!

Thank you Jimmy Neutron!!!


tlpoague profile image

tlpoague 5 years ago from USA

Outrageous! I loved it! Just think in 100 years, his mineral deposit will be worth a fortune...maybe! LOL! Awesome hub!I gave it all the buttons...


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Tip- Thank you!!! I love it when you get all button-happy!!! :)

Can you imagine how confused the archeologists will be??? LOL!! I'd LOVE to see that! "This area is rich in mineral deposits"... "no, wait-this area is rich in fecal deposits"....What the???


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

Isn't it wonderful, Sue, how some of the funniest stories are based on real life? I was so intrigued by the name of this company, Rum Jungle Resources, that I looked it up and discovered they are explorers of mineral resources in Australia including in addition to potash, uranium.

Hmmmmmmmm, maybe there's another story there!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Drbj- I loved the name Rum Jungle so much I decided to keep that the same as in the original news story. They actually were pretty happy about the phosphate find, I just couldn't resist pulling the rum card.

I thought it was pretty funny also!!:)


TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants 5 years ago from Tucson, Az.

S.R.

You nailed it. Good reading material is a must. Without it my mind starts to wonder, and with me that's never a good thing. Redbook or National Geographic? Uhh .. I dunno. Maybe an old Rolling Stone, or a good old fashioned news paper suites me better. (do they still make newspapers?) Anywho, great hub. Up, useful , and funny!

jim


tlpoague profile image

tlpoague 5 years ago from USA

I could see it now...

"Wow, that is a mighty strange fossil we have here. I wonder what mineral this could be?" Geo said as he picks up a long, black, shiny turd.

Friend leans over to admire it.

"Judging by the flecks, I would say Redneck with a side of poison oak..."

Awesome hub!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Manwithnopants- They do still make newspapers, but only the funnies. Most people just read their laptops in the bathroom these days... hey, you didn't.... nahhhh.

Thank you, as always, for taking the time to stop by my hubs! You're a busy man doing some good work!!

Thanks again!!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Tip- OMG! Rofl! Now, see.. if I could think of stuff that funny my score might get above 93!!!

Thanks for the comment... and the laugh!


tlpoague profile image

tlpoague 5 years ago from USA

No Problem...:) Now if I could just get my brain fart to pass, I might be able to write something interesting...

I sure hope those guys washed their hands before passing lunch around.


ChrisLincoln profile image

ChrisLincoln 5 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

Sue,

I read this wonderous missive while, um, resting in the rest room, as it were (yeah iPad), and found a potato chip with my toe.

I did not pick it up, or test it with anything. It might have had phosphate in it or on it, so, can you lend me your spectrometer?

C


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Sue - that's crazy! I was in the bathroom with my iPad too while reading this.

I was sterilizing it and waiting for the stuff to do it's duty:)

All kinds of action going on in the terlitz today!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Tip.. brain fart, pass, toilet hub... Oh, you're killing me!

I just noticed you'd published TWO hubs! I'm on my way.. I'm glad to see you made it past the brain obstruction.

It would have totally stunk had you not.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Chris- I would totally lend you my spectrometer, except it fell apart earlier and I ran out of duct tape to fix it.

In the mean time, be careful. You don't know what you're dealing with. Might I suggest you take a cup of tea, or any other warm liquid you have available, and pour it on the chip. If it disintegrates you are OK. If, however, it stays hard, you should carefully get the chip into a baggie and save it for later... that's one awesome chip!!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Real Ho.. Thank God for the sterilization!

Yes, the "terlitz" (good one) are finding themselves used more and more often... and for longer. I suspect many a person with an iPad has a permanent toilet ring on their back side!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

I ask you, what more could you need. An iv drip and HI HO crackers!


ChrisLincoln profile image

ChrisLincoln 5 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

Sue,

It's all good. Turns out it was a toenail cilipping of epic proportions.

C


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Note to followers: Do not try to drink coffee while following along! It is a choking hazard!


tlpoague profile image

tlpoague 5 years ago from USA

That is why some mornings it is wise to use a sippy cup.

(LOL! Ok, so I don't use the cup, but I have waited to drink my coffee till I have read certain comments and hubs. I don't want to ruin a good laugh.)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Ha! Too funny - now imsee why they call you TIP:-) LOL! I didn't think of that and I know I have one, I give it to my husband when he whines:) haha! Just kidding!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Chris- Wow! Send that bad boy to Guiness! Actually, I'd like a picture as I don't really believe you. I think it was a chip... and you ate it.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Realho- I'm picturing you with an IV, ho ho crackers, and a sippy-cup, sitting on the can writing comments. Please stop, I may never sleep again. :)


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Tip- I currently have my whiskey and coke in a sippy cup. These things are awesome. Just, please, don't abuse them like Realho. :O)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Sue - you are cracking me up again:). Lol! I just try to straighten up everyday before 3:00 when I pick the girls up from school. The rest of the day, I spend in the can with a cup. I was thinking about putting a VCR in there but then I got the iPad to keep me busy with my business:)


ChrisLincoln profile image

ChrisLincoln 5 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

Close,

It was a toenail and I ate it!

C


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Realho- we believe in "family togetherness", so our toilet is in our living room. It just makes life less complicated.

Think about it... seriously. :)

PS. It does get a little awkward when the UPS man stops by.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Chris- I would say, "That's just gross!" Except that I, too, find that chewing on toenails, esp. while "doing my business", completely relaxing. It's also a low-calorie way to deal with those random chocolate cravings.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Sue - I can't believe that I didn't think of moving the throne there too - ok I'm calling the plumber!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Realho- SWEET!!! I thought you might!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Its already done! So from now on, when I say I'm on it - I'm really on it!


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana Author

Realho- you're quick! Just don't forget my UPS man warning. They scare easily.

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