Daily Affirmations Gone Wrong

Attempting to be positive...

I know this may sound crazy, but once or twice, people have actually accused me of being negative.  Whatever.  I am just a little sarcastic ball of sunshine.  At any rate, perhaps I need to try to look at the glass as half full.  Maybe I need to be one of these people that thinks positive about everything and then things will go my way.  I've tried to come up with some great daily affirmations, but something tells me I am not doing that right.  Wait, that is being negative.  Nevermind.

Some daily affirmations...

  1. I am a good person. I am a good person. I haven't killed anyone or anything... yet.
  2. I have really nice eyebrows. That has to count for something, right?
  3. I am great at many things: eating, sleeping, watching TV... dude, I need some new hobbies.
  4. At least I have a job!
  5. I have a place to live, a place to sleep, clothes to wear, and food to eat. Wait, I'm out of chocolate. The day is ruined.
  6. At least my hamster loves me. When I feed her.
  7. Maybe I can't afford heat, but I do have an electric blanket. Not everyone can say that.
  8. Serenity now... serenity now...
  9. I have money in the bank. But wait, I have a pile of bills on my desk.
  10. I will win the lottery. I just need to play to win. I forgot that detail.
  11. I will start playing the lottery. I will be a winner. I will be a winner.
  12. At least I am smart and stuff... kinda.
  13. Sure, I can't afford a car, but walking is way healthier for you anyway. Cars are totally overrated. Nothing beats good health. Yep. That is right.
  14. I can almost touch my nose with my tongue. Not many people can say that. Well, not that many people will admit that, but whatever.
  15. I am forever finding change on sidewalks. Free money!
  16. Spring is here and the summer is coming! Hooray for no heating bill!
  17. I still have really nice eyebrows.
  18. I still have that job.

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Comments 6 comments

jrsearam profile image

jrsearam 5 years ago from San Juan, PR

You're funny, looks like I found another source for my daily laugh. It's great to have found you and I look forward to reading more of your stuff....JR


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thank you so much for the compliment. I just checked out your page. Love the coyote hub!


Angie Jardine profile image

Angie Jardine 5 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ...

Can't really comment on your eyebrows, Jeannie but am very impressed at your attempt at being positive. Now go and feed that hamster ...

All the best

Angie


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks, Angie. I am trying to be positive. I must assure you, my eyebrows are pretty awesome. Have a great day!


Haunty profile image

Haunty 5 years ago from Hungary

The oddest collection of affirmations. Do they work? I imagine they sort of keep you the way you are. Which is a good thing! I tried affirmations, but being the complete slacker I ma I just failed to use them regularly. Anyway, should you ever decide to get serious with this, it's said that saying "I'm pretty, I'm chic." doesn't work so well as saying "You're pretty, you're chic." In other words, it's better to address yourself in the second person. Loved the hub and laughed hard. Thank you.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

I am glad you enjoyed the hub. Honestly, they do not work so well. I am constantly chanting, "At least I have a job... at least I have a job." It helps most of the time.

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