Dancing With The Stars All-Stars -- And The Winner Is...

It’s Night 2 of the Finale and I’m still officially rooting for Melissa and Tony. They had the only freestyle I liked. I also enjoyed Kelly and Val’s Pasa Doble. I didn’t care for either of Shawn and Derek’s dances. The first one was thumbing their noses at the rules everyone else has to follow and the second dance was more of a gymnastic routine than a freestyle dance.

All the stars are back and perform in an opening number.

DanceCenter is back. Len suggest they highlight the worst dancers the show has ever seen and Kenny Main is suggested as being the worst of the worst.

Shawn and Derek and their faux-dance gymnastic routine get the encore dance. It’s easy to do a lot of gymnastics in your routine if you’re a gymnast, but this is a dance contest not a gymnastics contest.

Kenny Main, Jerry Rice and Len do DanceCenter. Jerry in make-up and Kenny is a light blue tux sans shirt. Kenny goes through all the dancers that have been eliminated. Makes fun of Mark featuring himself in the dances, Maks touching himself and Tom and Brooke not being able to shut up about Sabrina being eliminated.

Kelly and Val get the Cat And Mouse Insta-Dance Jive.

Melissa and Tony get Life Is A Highway Insta-Dance Samba.

Shawn and Derek get Respect Insta-Dance Cha Cha.

Bristol and Mark dance. Kirstie is still a better dance and moves better than her.

Pamela Andreson and Tristan. The outfit Pammy has on is kind of gross. She looks like she’s dressed as a dominatrix or a stripper. She’s dancing with a whole lot of men. I think she’s actually worse than Bristol.

A Helio and Chelsie flashback video package of it getting lost in translation. They dance.

Drew is performing with Anna and his daughter, Isabella.

Video package of scenes never scene from the backstage confessional.

Gangnam Style Team Dance redone without the six finalist. Kym and Joey added as a replacement. Thought the dance was better with Joey in it.

Brooke bugging Kelly and Val as they start practicing their Insta-dance.

Joey and Kym video package of them training. Joey goes Back To The Future to make sure he’s in the finals. Then they dance their time-traveling routine. Can’t figure out what music their dancing to. They dance with the kid who played Young Joey in the video.

Video package of the twists and turns of the season.

Sabrina and Louis dance.

Brooke bothers Melissa and Tony next.

Call Me Maybe group dance with Helio, Chelsie, Drew and Anna.

Back to DanceCenter. Len trashes Kenny’s suit. Emmitt is called a highway reflector because of his love of neon. Kenny confuses Julianne with Chelsie. Kenny says Gilles is without a country and a mixed-martial artist. He adds it took Apolo 7 weeks to take off his clothes and Gilles 7 minutes.

Maks and Kirstie dance next.

Gilles and Peta doing their Bollywood routine.

Now Brooke bothers Shawn and Derek.

Apolo and Karina doing their cancer dance.

Emmitt and Cheryl dancing to Chain A Fool.

Back to DanceCenter. This time it’s the three finalists turn to get special treatment. Kenny says they can’t find Shawn’s birth certificate to check her age. Melissa is next. Melissa saying she has nothing in her head. And Melissa falling. Last is Kelly. Mouth like a trucker. Kenny makes fun of Val’s undressed state. Kenny and Jerry say Kelly and Val definitely did it.

Video package of three finalists saying how hard this season has been for them leading into the Insta-Dances.

Kelly and Val are first. Celebs wishing Kelly and Val good luck. Then they dance their instant jive.

Len – she’s been a revelation. Spins are fantastic. Nailed foot work.

Bruno – they have the energy of two randy rabbits.

CA – so impressed. Absolutely in sync.

CA: 9.5

Len: 9.5

Bruno: 9.5

Total: 28.5

Brooke is annoying as she tries to get Kelly and Val to declare they’re in a romance, but they don’t. They say it’s just friendship. Sorry shippers no pay-off for you.

Melissa and Tony are up next. They dance the Instant Samba.

Bruno – she’s turned into a South American siren.

CA – she says she rushed the music.

Len – interpretation wasn’t as good as last night.

CA: 9.5

Len: 9.5

Bruno: 9.5

Total: 28.5

Shawn and Derek are the last to dance their Instant Cha Cha. Big question is can they get through the dance without putting a bunch of gymnastics in it. Derek gets teary-eyed saying Shawn has inspired him and given him confidence again and winning would be the perfect end. Kind of sounds like this is going to be his last season with the show.

All right, I’ll say it. Shawn and Derek did the best insta-dance.

CA – star-studded performance.

Len – that was fantastic.

Bruno – she’s going out with a bang.

CA: 10

Len: 10

Bruno: 10

Total: 30

Now it’s time to find out who the winner is:

Kelly and Val – are in third place

We get to see Kelly’s journey. In a way, it’s better to come in third, because you get a nice video package. When you win or are the runner-up everyone rushes on stage and the show’s credits roll and you get no video package.

It’s down to:

Shawn and Derek – come in third

Melissa and Tony – win

Maks and Val lift Tony on their shoulders. Think Tony’s more excited than Melissa. After all, he’s worked for it longer.

Of the partnerships this season I think I liked Sabrina and Louis and Derek and Shawn because they seemed to bring out more stuff in them than Mark did. Unfortunately, both Apolo and Helio suffered from not being repaired with Julianne.

I really didn’t think the pair I wanted to win would win. Think breaking the rules is what cost Shawn the mirror ball. Not to mention Melissa and Tony’s freestyle was the only one not overshadowed by super-sizing it. The dance troupe dancing with them stayed in the background, while Shawn and Derek and Kelly and Val’s dance troupe took the spotlight from them.

I wouldn’t mind another All-Star this season, but this time no previous winners and pair all the contestants with different partners to see if they sink or soar the second time around.

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