Diet is a Four Letter Word
I started a diet the other day. I was eating healthy, I was exercising, and I was feeling, in general, really good about myself.
It’s that second half-hour that started to kill me. I’m sure it’s a psychological thing, but I could swear the chocolate ice-cream was calling my name. Loudly. Often. Loudly…that bears mentioning again. I ignored it, of course. I could make it through the day. One day at a time, right? “I have the will power!” I reminded myself as I opened the freezer door, and the carton of ice cream. I know what you’re thinking, but I just smelled it while telling it to pipe down. There's nothing wrong with that.
Then I stepped on the scale. WHAT? How can a person gain 2 pounds from sniffing ice-cream?!!!
I calmed myself down and reminded myself of the outfits in my closet that I was sure I could get into if only I could stick this out. They’re really cute outfits. I went to look at them again. Yep, they were as cute as I remembered. Perhaps a little smaller, though. It was then I realized I might have to diet for more than 2 days.
This was getting depressing. Of course, the best thing for depression is chocolate. Any fool knows that. I knew where some was. It was calling me earlier, remember? “No!” I told myself. I’ll just go exercise. That’s also good for depression.
Ok. So, 10 minutes later I’m lying on the floor panting. This exercise thing is for the birds. Now I’m hungry. Hmmm. Chocolate’s good for that too.
“NO! I can do this!” I shouted out loud, to no one but myself. (My family had hit the road as soon as I mentioned the word “diet”. They’re not stupid. They know why it’s a four letter word.)
“YES, you can do this,” came a reply from my freezer.
A few hours later, my family returned to find me sitting crossed-legged on the kitchen floor with a messy face and an empty tub of chocolate ice-cream on my lap. “I saved us!” I yelled.
I wasn’t any thinner, and my pretty clothes weren’t any larger, but I had defeated the talking ice-cream.
I’m also pretty sure I burned off quite a few calories getting rid of the cold, mean, chocolate threat. After all, who knows what havoc a talking ice-cream tub could cause? First they talk, and then they steal. My family should have thanked me for ridding our house of such a menace. Can you believe there were no thank you’s? There was no “atta-girl”, or “way-to go mom”. Nope, apparently I was the only one who truly appreciated the threat.
All I can say, is it’s a good thing I was there.
My “diet” may have suffered a bit, but it was worth it for my family! I’ve decided to put my diet on hold for a few weeks (or months). All that “protecting the family” stuff stressed me out. A stressed out mom is no good to anyone. Of course, everyone knows the best thing for stress is chocolate.
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