Do Ewes Use U's?

Instead of rambling on and on about the possibility that sheep may actually be able to talk, I’m just going to go ahead and state that no, ewes don’t use U’s. Animals can’t talk, unfortunately. Or fortunately, I should say, because the last thing we need is to feel bad about eating animals because they’re able to beg us not to. Well, that’s not the last thing we need. The very last thing we need is for animals to arm themselves and start a revolution, because animals outnumber us humans, like a billion to one. But I have a theory. We only eat animals that aren’t able to carry weapons. For instance, we don’t eat monkeys, because they have fingers and would be able to operate semi automatic weapons. Why else wouldn’t we eat monkeys? Because they’re cute? I beg to differ. Sheep are cute. We eat them. Do we not eat monkeys because their bodies are oddly similar to ours? Perhaps. Or maybe monkey meat tastes like crap. I don’t know, I’ve never tried it, never had the opportunity. I’m talking about both crap and monkeys. Never eaten either of them. A pig’s body is the closest to a human’s, though, so I hear. With the arrangement of the organs and all that. Our personalities are oddly similar, as well. But this hub is about sheep, damn it. Monkeys and pigs will have to wait their turn. I’m not sure they even deserve any of my attention. But you know what would be terrifying? A monkey army armed to the teeth and riding into battle on the back of pigs. If I saw that, I’d wet myself. We’d defeat them easily, of course, because we’d meet them with tanks and aircraft. The monkey army wouldn’t be able to defeat an aerial attack, not on the back of pigs. When pigs fly, then maybe the monkeys will have a fighting chance. But then there’s always the possibility that both the pig and the monkey on its back would get sucked into a jet engine and ground up into sausage. And if pigs could fly, we’d have to wash pig crap off our windshields and that’d suck. And the monkeys would be flinging their crap at people on the ground, once they ran out of ammunition for their assault rifles. But until the day that pigs learn to fly and monkeys learn how to shoot, they don’t stand a chance in hell against us humans. We have the thumbs and the upper hand. And the atomic bomb, if all else fails. We’d actually be prepared to nuke the monkey villages and encampments, whereas monkeys, if they ever got their hands on a nuke, would simply worship it, like they did in the movie Planet of the Apes. And the monkeys in that movie were organized and could actually fire weapons. See? I’m not the first person who’s ever thought of this scenario. Monkeys taking over the world is a common fear among humans. We fear that one day we’ll wake up and the Statue of Liberty will be destroyed and the world will have been taken over by talking monkeys. At which point we’ll all fall on our knees in the sand, and scream, “LOL you! LOL you all!” (I’ve taken the liberty to replace the profanity with something that doesn’t sound so harsh.) But this hub isn’t about monkeys, like I previously said. It’s about sheep, LOL it.

Actually, this hub isn’t about sheep, it’s about nothing, which is something I happen to know a lot about.

And if you’ve never seen the movie Planet of the Apes (I’m talking about the original movie and not the one directed by Tim Burton), then the last half of the above paragraph probably won’t make any sense to you. Actually, the entire paragraph probably won’t make any sense, I don’t care if you’ve seen all bloody five Planet of the Apes movies and the remake. Sometimes what I say doesn’t make any sense, but there is a method to my madness, I assure you. Meaning there is a good reason for my apparently foolish, strange, or illogical actions. I’m stupid. Hope that’s a good enough reason.

Okay, so my hubs are all the same, seems like. Not that they’re all about the same things, they’re just all pointless in a way. Ramblings. I start writing and I honestly have no idea what I want the hub to be about. The same goes with everything that I write or have written. I wrote a short story and I had no clue what it was supposed to be about or how it was going to end. And now it’s almost 900 pages long, perhaps the longest short story ever written. But what’s my point? My point is that these things tend to write themselves. I have no plan. I just say what comes to my mind. I think about monkeys a lot, not sure why. I wonder if they ever think about me.

I don’t know what it is about monkeys, but I find them interesting. I don’t believe in evolution or anything, but every time I see a monkey, I find myself thinking, “We’re the same, you and I.” I feel like monkeys have the same thoughts I do, have the same dreams, the same goals, the same achievements. The same desire to love and be loved in return. Monkeys and I do some of the same things. I don’t eat my fleas, but then again, I don’t even have fleas. I eat bananas. As a matter of fact, I keep a banana in my pocket, just in case I happen to run into a monkey on the street. And they’re always like, “Is that a banana or are you happy to see me?” And it’s always both. It is a banana and I am happy to see them. And then I give them the banana to show them that I appreciate their existence.

Another good way to make a monkey feel loved, is a moment of self-sacrifice. For instance…

I first met the monkey on a bridge. It was a real crappy day, a sky full of dark clouds that refused to let the sun shine, making it look more like night than three in the afternoon. The monkey was standing by the guardrail, looking down into the dark, dismal water of the river below. I stopped my car and got out, walked over to the monkey and stood beside it. I just knew the monkey was thinking about jumping.

“It’s a beautiful day,” I said, trying to cheer it up.

The monkey grunted, but didn’t break eye contact with the river.

“What’s your name?” I asked.

“Brandon,” the monkey replied, a little hesitatingly.

“Do you like Cheetos, Brandon?”

The monkey nodded.

“I have some in my car. What do you say we go over there and partake in some Cheetos together? Would you like that, Brandon?”

Brandon thought about it for a moment, then asked, “Can I lick the cheese off your fingers?”

I immediately narrowed my eyes. “That’s an incredibly selfish thing to ask, Brandon. You know that’s the best part about eating Cheetos.”

“I’m sorry.”

I sighed. “No, I’m sorry. You can lick the cheese off my fingers. I’d be delighted.”

See? Self-sacrifice. A good way to show that you care for a monkey.  But I'm kidding. That didn't really happen. I didn't meet a suicidal monkey on a bridge and I didn't offer it some Cheetos. But I wish I had.

Me and a monkey, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the monkey pushing a baby carriage.

I know what you’re thinking. What the hell? Or maybe you’re thinking I wish I had some Cheetos. I don’t really know what you’re thinking. I’m not psychic. Maybe you’re thinking about how this hub is kind of like a mosquito, buzzing in your ear, sucking the life out of you as you sit there in your chair. Or on your couch. Or on your toilet, I don’t know. I’ve done that, taken my laptop into the bathroom with me. But since you’re thinking about mosquitoes, I’ll go ahead and talk about them for a moment. Not much to say, really. Mosquitoes are annoying. No one wants to be friends with a mosquito. Not even other annoying insects.

“Mosquitoes suck,” the fly comments, its mouth full of crap.

Then another fly looks over at it, and asks, “Do you ever stop to wonder if there’s more to this life than just eating dog crap and annoying humans?”

The fly doesn’t even pause. “Not at all,” it replies.

After all, flies don’t live long enough to ponder such questions. They just enjoy life. Scientists are always picking on fruit flies, trying to prove evolution by causing the defenseless insect to mutate, which never works, but who cares? The thing’s going to be dead soon, anyway, so it might as well go out in the interests of science. I wish someone would take out cats in the interests of science. Maybe drop them off a roof, try to disprove the theory that every cat lands on its feet. If they all land on their head, then I think we’ve accomplished something.

In conclusion, I’d like to point out that I’m against animal cruelty. I don’t care if the animal is an insect. All life is precious. I don’t believe in reincarnation or anything, but anything with life certainly deserves our respect. It seems like killing outside of our species is encouraged and quite legal. I can squash a praying mantis and get away with it. I could drag the bloody thing into a crowd of people and cut of its head with a silver sword and get away with it. No one would even care. I could probably even get away with doing it to a horse. That might shock some people, though, and it’d most likely be considered animal cruelty. Then why isn’t it cruel to murder a praying mantis? Our laws are so biased. It’s like we’re basing what’s considered animal cruelty simply on the size of the animal in question. Decapitating a horse is bad, but squashing a mantis is good. That’s like saying killing a human is bad, but killing a dwarf is good. See what I mean? We’re basing our perceptions on size. Or maybe just abusing an animal that has a heart is considered animal cruelty. Maybe no one cares if you punch an insect in the face. But why? Don't insects have life?

I don't hesitate to squish mantises, because I know what they're thinking. "I'm going to stab you to death and play in your blood."

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to discuss these types of things. If you take anything away from this hub, I hope it’s that all animals are special. They might not be able to talk or use U’s, but they still have feelings. They might even have more than that. Take dogs, for example. They have hearts. They have brains. They even have dreams. Who are we to say they don’t have souls, as well? Just something to think about. And dogs are able to learn. We teach them how to sit and stuff. There are a lot of animals that are able to learn. Monkeys, for example. They can fly space shuttles. Oh my God, that also means they’d be able to fly fighter jets. I’m starting to think monkeys might actually have a fighting chance if they ever tried to take over the world. It’s a scary thought. We all need to start carrying bananas in our pockets, just in case we come across a monkey. We have to show them that they’re loved. Maybe then we won’t wake up one day and find ourselves living in a world that’s been overrun by monkeys. Monkeys that can use Uzis. And maybe even U’s, who knows? The only thing that separates us from the animals is the language barrier. And language is the only thing that keeps us from being animals, ourselves. We use U’s. That’s why we’re on top of the evolutionary ladder. That, plus we eat almost everything underneath us. It keeps the animals in check. You see, we can eat an animal and it not be considered animal cruelty. We just can’t abuse them. Or eat them while they’re alive. It’s a messed up world, but it’s our world. At least until the animals organize themselves and take it away from us. And maybe we have it coming.

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28 comments

attemptedhumour profile image

attemptedhumour 5 years ago from Australia

Well Mr Q, I hope you feel better after that hilarious tirade. I got attacked by a troop of heavily armed Monkeys in Iraq, these were riding on Turkeys because the Pigs had been deployed back to George Bush's hobby farm in the Nevada dessert. I'm not sure if it was because the crops had failed again, or he was interviewing for the military. Anyway, i managed to fight my way out of it by putting up a thanks giving sigh, a useful diversion in the end. I'm now in an underground facility working on a fully funded plan to grow vegies without water. Hope the tablets work, cheers from ?


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca

Hmmm... I like monkeys. Reminds me of a time back in school when my friends and I used to imitate monkey sounds in the middle of a crowded room. Would people stare... yes... but probably just as much as they would stare when seeing a man with a banana in his pocket! ;)


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

My email blinged right in the middle of my Ouija playing game! And it was YOU! Sheesh! My friend made me throw it out. She's into all that oogly boogly stuff. So I appeased her and did. It got ran over by the big truck that picked up my heat tanks. It's been rained on, left out for over, say 2 weeks, and it still is brand new looking. I'm thinking about doing art on it, any thoughts?


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

I'm a little upset about the cats but I'm glad we got through that hub without flying monkeys. I don't mean in jets; I mean like Wizard of Oz flying monkeys. That would have been going too far.

Tell me if I'm following your train of thought correctly. If Seven foot tall, talking sheep invaded our planet it would be reasonable for them to eat us. Yes?


AngRose profile image

AngRose 5 years ago

I wondered why that darn bag of Cheetos went! And here we kept blaming the dog, who really did eat the one bag because he, errrr, well, umm...we'll just say he "left" them under the back porch table, cuz it's a gross story, but you get the point, and my poor mom came home and found that big mess, and geez I feel sorry for my mom. She has to do all kinds of stuff that she never gets paid for. Moms should get paid a lot of money. At least mine should. And for a hub that wasn't about monkeys you sure talk a lot about monkeys! :) I like the way your brain wanders Q...it amuses me.


Karanda profile image

Karanda 5 years ago from Australia

All I know is if I had to kill my own meat I would be a vegetarian. I've often wondered why it is okay to eat one sort of animal and not another. Interesting read, for sure. Was it about sheep, monkeys or praying mantis?


What Is Q profile image

What Is Q 5 years ago from Tennessee Author

Keith, sorry to hear all that. That must have been traumatizing. Attacked by monkeys riding on turkeys? You seem to be okay, though, so I guess you got over it. Good luck in your garden and let me know if the experiment goes as planned.

Barbergirl, I've also made monkey sounds, but never in public. I would've stared at you, too. ;) And I try not to stare at guys that have bananas in their pockets. Because they might just be happy to see me. And that's awkward.

Kathy, your phone sounds abused. And also indestructible. I'd paint a Superman logo on it. Or you could always just do a figure 8.

Randy Behavior, sorry about the cat thing. I've actually never seen the Wizard of Oz, so I didn't mention the whole flying monkey bit. I figured a monkey in body armor, riding on the back of a flying pig was more terrifying, anyway. And yes, 7 foot sheep would also be terrifying. I'd hate to see that. But that'd be great for the wool industry.

Ang, that's disgusting. :) I feel like asking if it was orange, but I don't really want to know. But thanks for sharing. Hope it wasn't flaming Cheetos, for the dog's sake.

Karanda, I think I'd just starve if I had to catch my own food. I'm too slow, and I don't know enough about plants to pick out what's not poisonous. I'd be screwed out in the wild. I'm not sure what this hub was about. I haven't really given it much thought. Maybe thumbs?


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

Adam, my phone didn't bling, my email did. :P I hope you don't mind my replying to the comments on the Wizard of Oz on here. Randy Behavior might be interested or others.. in either event, the main Monkey the witch sends off to get Dorothy, his name is Niko. It's never said in the movie, but it is. Also, I can't remember if I actually made a hub on it, or if I just thought about it, but there's many other aspects of that movie that really bug me. Like when she gets to the Scarecrow, there's 3 other ways to go that they don't choose, so what is down the other three paths. I'd like to see the movie written with alternate endings starting at that point. Where do they lead? Maybe they won't encounter flying monkeys, maybe her house is just around the bend. Maybe they'll never find the tin man or have to slap the lions face.

It's good to know you don't stare at men with banana's in their pockets.

You also could use a good course in survival 101. I'm going to toot my own horn and say because of my parents forcing me to learn it, I passed the Military test 96%. I never planned on joining, I just know I can survive without a grocery store if I have to. Never use a gun that has led pellets to shoot an animal you plan to eat. They melt in the meat, then you kack-led poisoning. You can survive on crickets if you pull their heads out straight and the guts come out too, pull off the legs (never eat bugs with serrated legs attached) then skewer them on a stick, use a glass to start a fire, roast them on a stone.

You need to know these things because what if 2012 is true. I don't believe it myself, because they don't count the 2000 as a year, if they did, it would be 2013, not 12, and one day rest in a year, please!

I don't think this hub is about anything, I think you're smoking something not bought in a store and you pick letters at random. ;P

Did you know the Ouija board has 13 letters across on each row, and starts wrong with numbers? Counting starts at Zero not one. The last number is 9 cos 1+0=1 not 0. I'm going to change all the numbers to 8's and then I'm going to burn the board. Btw, cheetoes are icky, they stick to your fingers and teeth. ;)


What Is Q profile image

What Is Q 5 years ago from Tennessee Author

I've been meaning to watch the Wizard of Oz for the past ten or so years, just haven't gotten around to it. I want to see these flying monkeys for myself. And when I finally do, I'll know the main monkey's name is Niko. :)

Kathy, I've been meaning to eat a cricket for the past ten or so years, just haven't gotten around to it. But now when I finally do, I'll know how to eat one properly. So thank you for the instructions. I don't know what's going to happen in 2012, but I hope it isn't something that makes us all resort to eating crickets.

I've never even seen a Ouija board. But I find it interesting. I want to talk to ghosts and ask them stupid questions. Waste their time. See what they think of Cheetos. I think they're delicious, and I love how they stick to my fingers.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

O.K. my five year old son's name in Nico.... you're freaking me out with the flying monkeys.


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

Um, after you watch the Wizard of Oz, and ponder the changing of length of Dorothy's hair and what's down the other paths, watch it again only with the sound off. Play Pink Floyd, Dark Side of the Moon. Pause the cd on the first beat, and pause the MGM lion on the THIRD "roar", then hit play on both at the same time. Roger Waters swears he did not write the music to it, but amazingly enough it flows through the movie with each beat on target. Also when the CD ends, hit replay fast as possible, and when it ends, it will be playing "Home Home Again.

Mayan's believe we should be living a 28 calendar month with one day a year left over for new years. The Mayan calendar would never be off with the seasons equinox EVER, while with our Gregorian calendar it should be off in about 10,000 years. They believe the earth is going to end in 2012, but since no body except those believers live by the 28 day calendar. But since nobody has, how would we know which witch is which! *smirk* I don't know if the website changed, but it also has it set of "zodiac" symbol's in which I am the Blue Lunar Hand, you could look at tortuga.com if it's still up and running to find out yours... if you care! ha!

Ouija's aren't for talking to those who are dead, they are for talking to demon's that are supposedly alive now.

Just a tip, but maybe trying roasted crickets in a cheeto, that is if you ever resort to having to live after the :::gasp::: dreaded rapture or 2012/13. Oh, and you can never live on rabbit, unless you crush the bones, their meat is greasy, but doesn't hold enough water to keep a human a live unless help is on the way.

My good guess is your keyboard is sticky.


crystolite profile image

crystolite 5 years ago from Houston TX

What a nice article? i love it


What Is Q profile image

What Is Q 5 years ago from Tennessee Author

Randy Behavior, I'd like to point out I didn't bring up the whole flying monkey bit. They freak me out as much as they do you. I hope you won't look at your son any differently now that you know he shares the same name as one of those flying monkeys.

Kathy, you're just full of interesting info. :) If I'm ever stoned, I'll be sure to have some fun with Oz and Pink Floyd. I might even get around to playing some records backwards. But I don't think I'll try any crickets with my Cheetos. lol. Crickets just don't sound filling. Or even delicious. Maybe if I let my Cheetos soak in water, I won't have to resort to eating rabits, either.

Crystolite, thanks. I find the question mark hilarious. ;)


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

Randy Behavior if it's any consolation it's an unknown fact about Niko and it's spelled different too! But I have the movie script, and a trivia book.

Adam, you know, there's something to be said for parents who send their kids to private school, and fathers who do not accept "I don't think so" as an answer, and replies with "you cannot think, you MUST KNOW" or not speak. I do stand corrected on some things, but I don't mind I like it, it is another tidbit floating around up there. I wanted to be a normal kid in HS, but my parents let me skip and go to the library to choose my own learning. They got tired of me being kicked out for correcting teachers lol. I read what I wanted and listened to Marc Bolan on giant headphones. I was a loner, and remain that because as a general rule I don't like people. I do like college professors and doctors because I get more out of a conversation. I'm drawn to yours because you make me think about things I wouldn't think of, then it always circles back to things I do. Oh, I found my bracelet last night, the figure 8 on it's side. My idiot lol art teacher in HS thought it was dumb but gave me a passing grade. Well, say 2012/13 happens, I have enough food that never needs tending growing in my yard. I don't keep a garden because they're pointless. And a million bucks says I could fool you into eating rabbit and not knowing it isn't chicken! lol. You should keep a B.O.B. full of cheeto's and MRE's lol. -Peace


What Is Q profile image

What Is Q 5 years ago from Tennessee Author

Yeah, unfortunately Cheetos have expiration dates. I'm not sure about MRE's. Maybe astronaut food? Ooh, cotton candy. That probably doesn't go bad. I need to stock up on some cotton candy. And Twinkies. Just what I need to survive 2012. I would rather eat an alligator than a rabbit, and even that tastes like chicken. I'm glad there's so many alternatives to chicken out there.


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

LOL! No! Seriously, MRE's are much more tasty than Astronaut food. Cotton candy melts, it's fluffed sugar and goes back to it's original form! Yes, a bad experience and clean up trying to save it. Alligator is rubbery and smells icky, although meat holds more water than rabbit. Um, you're making me wonder if it's possible to make a "sweets" MRE! lol.. In fact our friend Barber girl will chime in and might know the answer to that! :)


What Is Q profile image

What Is Q 5 years ago from Tennessee Author

I happen to love gator bites (not to be confused with getting bitten by a gator). I have them on the beach every time I'm in Florida. If cotton candy goes back to its original form, I guess that'd just be sugar, and sugar is enough for me. I'll just stock up on bags of sugar. And MREs with pumpkin pie and ice cream. What if all the insects and animals are killed by disease (or abducted by aliens) in 2012? What would we eat? What if all the crops died? I'd hate to have to resort to cannibalism. Or even self-cannibalism. Hmm. As long as we still have cigarettes, I'm good. ;)


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

Gator makes me feel sick from the package! lol, my son likes them too, but I don't like it, like, I don't like deer, it smells horrible to me! Although my friends kids love it mixed with that manwich sauce.

Yeah, I found out the hard way about cotton candy :( aw, I wanted to save it for later and it had melted all over my record player and I tired for the longest time to get the sugar off, but it had went inside it and ruined it.

I'm pretty sure they can put both gator and pumpkin pie can be put in an MRE.

IF (I'm not a believer myself) 2012 happens I don't think anything will happen psychically like the crops dying. I think it will be a major change in world governments, but that's just a theory. Maybe we are the aliens! I'm with you I'm not going to eat a person either. But I'll stick to smoking a little something else than ciggies, cos, um, it smells better! lol! (and the dentist teases me rather than yells at me ugh) LOL! :) (he's really cool for a dentist with a syringe the size of my head BLAH I hate thinking about that lol)


What Is Q profile image

What Is Q 5 years ago from Tennessee Author

Kathy, how can you not like deer? It's great. Seasoned deer steak for breakfast? It's yummy. I do agree that it smells weird, though. But maybe that's just the wild, gamey smell. And if you think the meat smells weird, you should try gutting a deer. That's not a great smell.

I, for one, would like to have some gator and pumpkin pie. We had some MREs (my family), but we buried them in the backyard and then forgot where we buried them. I don't know why we buried MREs and canned goods, but maybe it was in case the aliens attacked.

And yes, maybe we're the aliens. Maybe our ancestors come to this planet and wiped out the indigenous people and we slowly took over. Or maybe one of our spaceships crashed on this planet and the survivors lost contact with our home planet and made a home on Earth, and then multiplied. That actually sounds plausible, because here on this planet we have people and we have animals. People... animals. There's such a big difference in the two. We can't possibly be from the same planet. Maybe we came to this planet thousands of years ago simply for the reason it was a great food resource. Or maybe this planet was kind of like a place of exile for criminal aliens, who were our ancestors. I don't know. But maybe we'll find out in 2012. And as far as anything happening in 2012, be it the world ending or aliens visiting, I don't believe in it, either, but I do have an open mind.


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

Ok, a friend almost had me talked into trying Pumpkin pie, and well, I think you nipped that one in the bud. NO Way! lol. Uck. I kinda feel sick now! :O~~ Yeah, my dad used to keep a back closet full of another kind of food that lasted longer than MRE's. Had it since I was a kid and we just tossed it out before he died a few years ago.

It's funny you mention about the Alien thing because a long time ago (before all the graphics online) I was reading about, these people believe there are "inhumans" living among us. They have sort of fishlike scales and differences they can keep well hidden. Makes me think they ate a lot of nutcake. ;> Anyway, from what I've heard and learned about this whole 2012/13 thing to my research has nothing to do with Aliens, nor anything to do with the movie, it's more biblical phroph. I don't think any of it sounds plausible because I don't believe any of it, except for the "changing of governments world wide" now those theories do sound plausible because there's so many changes going on now. (Thank a lot UN boogars) lol. Well, just don't let anyone fool you into thinking Switzerland is neutral because they're not. I had a Swiss friend, highly interested in all this rhetoric over 2012 a few years back, and he moved away from here to Washington DC. Funny I thought. He'd moved to New Bern, because it's a "mini" Bern means Bear in their language. Little did he know he was in the middle of the Military, which scared the poor guy to death, but he learned a lot. When he eventually got deported back, but not before I got to go spend some time in D.C. with him. We sat down on the Potomac and chatted about this 2012/13 thing and I just said look Daniel, Switzerland isn't "middle ground" anymore, they're gaining peace with the United Nations, he would not believe until I got a call from him after his deportation and said "we now are being friendly with United Nations." (I TOLD YA DO DANIEL) LOL. So, no I don't think it Alien at all, maybe an "alien-belief system" but not from outer space. I think we have more to fear from losing our Constitutional-Bill of Rights before we have any fear of Aliens. Although, eating gater and pie makes me think you could be one of them.. I'll ponder that lol. ::;shudder::: I think the 2012/13 are more biblical fulfilling prophecy than alien, but I have my doubts with that as their dates/timelines are not at all like ours. If you have interest or care tomorrowsworld.org gives a bit of insight to that. And whoever said "China's republic" makes me really hurl. Who noticed 1989! grr.. oh no political rant, because I


Phoebe Pike 5 years ago

This is one of the funniest hub I have ever read in my entire life. I was literally laughing out loud. Do you think that the monkeys would use turtles as helmets? Let's not forget about this Wizard of Oz, those monkeys had wings. :)

I have to say that the planet of the apes movie, was just awful. You know that scene where you find out that the humans can't talk? And then later in the movie, you find out they really can talk? Remember that girl who ends up talking to the guy and explains that humans get experimented on if they talk? I'm sorry, but that really wouldn't work. Because when babies start talking, they use baby talk, do you think that they got experimented on? Just food for thought. Lolz.

Awesome hub, I look forward to reading more of them.


What Is Q profile image

What Is Q 5 years ago from Tennessee Author

Thanks for the comment, Phoebe. :) And also, thanks for the imagery. Helmets would be a good idea for flying monkeys. Yeah, Planet of the Apes had its flaws. I think I was too focused on the fact that the monkeys were talking that I didn't notice anything odd with the movie, but good point. Imagine a world where all the monkeys do the talking and us humans remain silent. Maybe if a baby's parents never speak, the baby won't have the urge. Maybe it'd just give little grunts or growls or something. I don't know. :)


Phoebe Pike 5 years ago

Babies are like sponges, hearing the apes talk would make them want to talk too. Lolz

In any case, I really enjoyed reading your hub. It's very witty and humorous.

I'm pretty sure animals have their own language, we just don't understand it because we are not them and our brains don't function at their level. Why else would they have vocal chords?


What Is Q profile image

What Is Q 5 years ago from Tennessee Author

I guess it's a no-win situation, huh. That baby's going to get experimented on. lol. If I was living in a world ruled by monkeys that spoke my language, I'd just learn a different language and confuse them. Maybe sign language wouldn't be cause for experimentation? I'd teach my baby sign language. lol. But I've seen some monkeys do sign language, so... hmm.

I agree that animals have their own language. I listen to what they have to say, but it all sounds the same. I saw a monkey at the zoo flip someone off, once. I understood that perfectly. Monkey see, monkey do, so monkey must have been flipped off before. I think we need to be the ones experimenting. See if we can't teach some of these animals English. Or at least better manners.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

You can have my share of monkeys. I had one when I was a little boy and the blasted thing bit me on the ear. I can assure you, monkeys don't need kalashnikovs or anything similar... they can do enough damage with their teeth.

Give me a sheep any time; Ovis Aeries, I love you.


What Is Q profile image

What Is Q 5 years ago from Tennessee Author

Twilight- I'll accept those monkeys. I'll trade you the sheep I keep in my room. I'm tired of counting them all before I go to sleep. I think monkeys bite to show affection. Or I might be getting that confused with 'monkey bite' which is actually a hickey. I personally would like a monkey to nibble on my earlobe. Is that weird? Nah. I love monkeys and you love sheep. I think that's a completely normal thing.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

You are so right - animals are special. Although I have to admit, monkeys creep me out a little. They look like little furry people. How come we evolved and they didn't? Weirds me out. That is why I stay away from monkeys. Oh, and they fling poo, too. I don't like that either.


What Is Q profile image

What Is Q 5 years ago from Tennessee Author

Jeannie- It's best to stay away from anything or anyone that flings poo. Maybe poo is a currency to monkeys, I don't know. Maybe they think they're throwing money around. But I still love monkeys. Maybe one day they'll evolve enough to know how to use toilet paper.

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