Douchebags in Flip Flops

At least shave your toe knuckles you degenerate.

When did wearing flip-flops to a bar or nightclub become socially acceptable? Flip-flops use to be worn in public showers to prevent jock itch, but now they are popping up in bars, clubs, and restaurants as evening wear. Flip-flops have replaced popped collars as the calling card of today's douche bag.

Flip-flops were brought to popularity by hippies in the 1970s. Hippies also popularized many other cultural phenoms such as B.O. and venereal disease, so clearly they are trend setters. Somehow the appeal of wearing a shoe that exposes the dirtiest appendix of one's body has not only resurfaced but somehow become fashionable.

Is there anything dirtier than a person's foot? Even your ass gets wiped a couple of times a day. Aren't shoes what separate us from animals? When you are wearing flip-flops at a night club you might as well take a Hershey squirt in your hand and hurl it at passers-by because you are pretty much a primate. Even homeless people wear shoes and they shit on the sidewalk.

Guys mainly wear flip-flops when they go out because someone did it in 2006 and got laid. Therefore, by male reasoning, anyone can wear flip-flops to the club and get laid too. If there was a guy at a club with a dildo strapped to his forehead, but surrounded by hot chicks, chances are you'd see three or four dildo clad men the following week. It's a sickness.

Women could easily end the causal relationship between flip-flops and sport sex by raising their standards, but as long as bars still sell Jagermeister it is unlikely that will ever happen.

The flip-flop epedimic will unlikely be resolved by me pointing out what a ridiculous and assinine idea it is, but maybe we can at least establish some guidelines:

  • If your toe nails are the color of French's mustard they need to be covered.
  • If there's enough residue under your toe nails to make homemade blue cheese dressing you may want to consider a closed toe shoe.
  • If your toes have more hair than your balls, it's time to cover them up.

As long as there are frat boys, there will be stupid fads. Flip-flops in bars and night clubs is yet another sign that the "Apocalypse of Douche" is upon us.

Bixbie74@yahoo.com

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Comments 62 comments

christine almaraz profile image

christine almaraz 7 years ago from colorado springs

Ha Ha funny and so true. I hate looking at peoples feet, especially at a fancy restaurant when I'm trying to eat. I agree, cover them up!


Bo Bixbie profile image

Bo Bixbie 7 years ago from Mid-West Author

It's always the people with the dirtiest feet on the planet too! Like they walked there barefooted or something!


Douche the Loose 7 years ago

I hate those DB's

Cool article.


what 7 years ago

its called living at the beach. any bar within a quarter mile of the beach is acceptable...infact its proper during the warmer months. shoes or for inlanders.


Jason 7 years ago

Speaking of douchebag frat boys, I've noticed that these morons wear flip flops in cold weather to try and look tough. Have you noticed this? They do it with shorts too. It'll be like forty degrees outside and there they are, swaggering down the street in their shorts and flip flops as if to say "look at m-m-me girls, I'm...brr...immune t-t-to the c-c-c-c-old!"


BetsyT 7 years ago

Ok, guys in flip-flops and baggy or just sloppy shoes don't turn on any girl I have ever met!


Bo Bixbie profile image

Bo Bixbie 7 years ago from Mid-West Author

Jason - great observation. I don't wear snow shoes to the pool. Why would you wear flip flops in an ice storm?


Bo Bixbie profile image

Bo Bixbie 7 years ago from Mid-West Author

BustyT - THANK YOU! Now get the word out to all the college freshmen you can so guys stop dressing like dirty hippies.


Drew Breezzy profile image

Drew Breezzy 7 years ago from somewhere in my mind

haha wow, glad I don't rock the flip flops


dave 7 years ago

author is a douchebag for generalizing based on footwear.. acceptable in a club or bar.. dude, seriously.. get out of your rut of a life and go back to school. Get some priorities.


Bo Bixbie profile image

Bo Bixbie 7 years ago from Mid-West Author

Dave, take the flip flops off and get some dress shoes. Do we need an intervention?


Drew Breezzy profile image

Drew Breezzy 7 years ago from somewhere in my mind

speaking of douchebags Bixbie, I say any clown who wears stickers on their hats to look "fresh" is a douchebag.


cjcarter profile image

cjcarter 7 years ago

I'm pretty sure the only people that use the word "douchebag" are college frat guys...that wear flip flops. Just saying.


cupajo profile image

cupajo 7 years ago from California

Flip Flops aren't the worst of it. I hate the boxers sticking out of the back end. No kidding, what is that all about?

I wouldn't, well, can't call it fashion. I guess the best word would be trend. But, when is it going to end?


dictionary 7 years ago

if you are going to make fun of people for anything, please learn how to spell. It's ridiculous, not "rediculous".

kthxbye.


Bo Bixbie profile image

Bo Bixbie 7 years ago from Mid-West Author

dictionary - joke's on you. I also spelled "separate" wrong but you missed that one!


Adam B 7 years ago

That hub was f**king funny as s**t. I was just at a WEDDING and I spotted a D-Bag wearing flip-flops at the ceremony. I just looked at him like he was from another planet. Also a few weekends ago, I was performing at a bar / club and durring a break I went in to take a piss and as I was going I saw someone in the stall next to me with some gnarley ass toes in flip-flops pissing all over (yes his fet also go some spray.)

I wear flip-flops when I go to the pool...that's just about it really. I would sign the petition to stop the flip-flop tomfoolery!


Daniel Carter profile image

Daniel Carter 7 years ago from Western US

Can't tell by your profile if you are really just a jokester or in need of serious help. It's all borderline for me to know, so I won't try. A sense of propriety is probably what you're getting at here. That's cool. Mocking humanity is not. It says way more about you, than you about humanity.

Just sayin'.


Karen Weir profile image

Karen Weir 7 years ago from Alberta Canada

"cjcarter says:

I'm pretty sure the only people that use the word "douchebag" are college frat guys...that wear flip flops. Just saying."

That is just too funny - I was thinking along these lines as I read the article LOL.

Pretty funny article overall... but seriously lay off the hippies ok?


Bo Bixbie profile image

Bo Bixbie 7 years ago from Mid-West Author

Karen - hippies are a wealth of comic material. They are like fart jokes. They never lose their luster.

And just to set the record straight I was never in a frat. I'm obviously WAY too judgemental to be part of such a large social circle.

Thanks for the compliment. I'm going to check out a couple of your hubs right now.


Julia Claire profile image

Julia Claire 7 years ago from Los Gatos, CA.

cupajo says:

20 hours ago

Flip Flops aren't the worst of it. I hate the boxers sticking out of the back end. No kidding, what is that all about?

Even though I can't comment as to what it's all about, let me just add here. A few years ago as I was parked at the curb to pick up my daughter from high school and all was quiet, who walked by just then but a young kid. He was probably close to 16 or 17 and sporting the pants below the butt crack look. I had to stare; he was artfully placing one foot in front of the other with wide open strides. It was hilarious! Just when I marveled at his ingenuity at keeping his pants from falling off...THEY FELL OFF. Yes!! Right in front of the high school and right down to his ankles. I was the ONLY PERSON THAT SAW THIS. OMG. I love this stuff!!!


C. Whitaker profile image

C. Whitaker 7 years ago from Indianapolis, IN

I still hate the popped collar guys more than the flip flop people.


lacey marie profile image

lacey marie 7 years ago from United States

Ok, so I know that I just woke up, but this is the greatest thing I've seen all day!! Probably all week. I love your humor! I have also been caught in the bar staring at some guy's hobbit feet only barely covered by a rubber thong. Thank you for sticking up for the victims of the douche bag apocalypse!!


Bo Bixbie profile image

Bo Bixbie 7 years ago from Mid-West Author

Whitaker - I agree, the popped collar is a crime against hunamity.

Lacey - Thanks for the compliment. I went out one night and this DB had on a suit and flip flops. It inspired the Hub. FYI he couldn't get in the club!


bird supplies 7 years ago

Too funny. You have a great sense of humor.


sherry23 profile image

sherry23 7 years ago

Yes, flip flop are scummy. I just read yesterday that flip flops can kill you, because its a magnet for dangerous deadly bacteria. The film of grime that coats your feet is dangerous dirt. Its lurking in the rubber. If you have cuts on your feet, it can seep into the cuts on your feet. And the bacteria can enter the bloodstream and if left untreated, it can kill you. Its germy.


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 7 years ago from Southern California, USA

California has more of a casual dress culture, and as long as I can remember people wore flip flops. I might not be the best idea to wear these all the time though because they are not comfortable on the feet.


Writer Rider 7 years ago

Well, I'm a borderline hippy because I like to take care of my hygiene and don't sleep around, but I agree as far as flip-flops are concerned. They're relatively uncomely.


Camp Counselor 7 years ago

When you live in tropical areas (Florida, Cali, Texas) Flippies are a necessity. You can't blame the shoes, just the dirty bastards who can't keep up with their foot hygiene.........


smp5681 profile image

smp5681 7 years ago from Pittsburgh

People wear flip flops to work, in a business casual setting. Just as bad as the club, and just as white trash as you could imagine.


kephrira profile image

kephrira 7 years ago from Birmingham

foot facist! I have hairy toes and I'm proud.


katacham profile image

katacham 7 years ago from United Kingdom

A guy dancing next to me in a club wore flip flops. I accidentally crushed his feet with my high heels. Don't they now qualify as a safety hazard??


Bo Bixbie profile image

Bo Bixbie 7 years ago from Mid-West Author

Katacham - well done. I advise all women to feel free to mash the exposed toe of anyone wearing flip flops at the bar. If they also have a popped collar please kick them in the nuts.

Sherry 23 - Feet are nasty. Period.


Wealthmadehealthy profile image

Wealthmadehealthy 7 years ago from Somewhere in the Lone Star State

Being from an island, the only time we wear shoes is to go to church and some people wear them to church. I disagree with that, but island culture is different. If you are used to wearing high heels which ruin your feet, I feel for you because flops are a way of life and sooo much more comfortable. In a city setting, social protocol is different .... if the shoe fits, wear it Shoes are much to hot and unbearable in 115 degree weather anyhow. I agree with Camp Counselor!


Kyle 7 years ago

I hate flip-flops too! Oh my god, the feet of these people should be ground up and then cooked into dirty, calussed foot burgers which are then force-fed to these hippie losers! Thank you Bo Bixbie for raising awareness to such an important topic! There aren't enough hate-mongers out there, we need another group to poke fun at. And it might as well be people who wear flip-flops. Jesus wore flip-flops, and god knows he was a pussy! But they set him straight didn't they, on the crucifix and all! Yeah, you do important work Bo Bixbie, keep it up. Oh by the way, it's opposable thumbs and our brain power that separates us from animals, not shoes you dick.


Bo Bixbie profile image

Bo Bixbie 7 years ago from Mid-West Author

Kyle,

WOW, I was wondering how long it would take before I got a comment from one of those "I'm better than you" A-holes who takes themselves WAY too seriously. Great job freedom fighter, you set me straight. BTW since you are so concerned about God, you may want to capitalize his name, dumb ass.


Tiara designs profile image

Tiara designs 7 years ago from undisclosed location

Sometimes I wish we could style warp back to the 60's and gosh I wonder are we living in a funeral of class? LOL Interesting writing fyi = not a douchbag..


Johnny 7 years ago

One thing that is almost as bad is flip flops with socks on. Not as bad as dirty, hairy feet, but coupled with their favorite NBA wear and a baseball cap that they can't seem to get straight on their empty brain case, and you have the perfect picture of a douchebag.


douchebag in flip flops 7 years ago

Wearing flip flops is convenient.. Who has time to primp in the mirror looking at your feet all night? not me. Just slip them on and you're out the door. What kind of bar or restaurant are you going to that allows flip flops anyway? perhaps you should go to bars w/dress codes since you're so classy. Now, not everyone can wear these kind of footwear... Do you have ugly feet and foot odor?? maybe this is why you are so pissed about fucking sandals lol.....You sound like the real douche bag!!!!


Johnny 7 years ago

I wear flip flops to bars. If you don't like it, you can kiss my ass. The real douchebags are the a-holes with nothing better to do than to b!tch about what others are wearing.

I'll bet you have a serious case of foot fungus and funky-foot, and you're jealous because you have to wear knee-high boots to cover the filth and the stench.


Bo Bixbie profile image

Bo Bixbie 7 years ago from Mid-West Author

Johny, so you say you don't like people who mock you because of your attire (BTW mock means "making fun off") yet you want to mock people for what they write about. I believe that makes you a hypocrite AND a douchebag. Either way thanks for reading and commenting.


Matteon profile image

Matteon 7 years ago from Los Angeles

Bo, what's the deal trying to pin that beast on Buck when everyone knows it was you.


Meghan 7 years ago

Who ever wrote this is either really ignorant or lives up north where the weather isn't nearly 100 degrees everyday. I live in Arizona and flip flops are essential in staying cool. The same for any state in the south during the summer months. The douche that wrote this article must live in canada or the northeast. one of the most ignorant pages i've read. well done!


The Grey Wolf profile image

The Grey Wolf 7 years ago

Daniel Carter says:

4 days ago

Can't tell by your profile if you are really just a jokester or in need of serious help. It's all borderline for me to know, so I won't try. A sense of propriety is probably what you're getting at here. That's cool. Mocking humanity is not. It says way more about you, than you about humanity.

Just sayin'.

What's wrong with mocking Humanity. Humanity is so easy to mock it Begs to BE mocked. This thread is point in case.


edierydn profile image

edierydn 7 years ago from Vancouver, WA

Very funny, very true.


JD 7 years ago

Out here in the Midwest, this is a quickly-spreading disease.

We're not on an island, we're not sweating in the Southwest.

Go to any bar on the north side of Chicago, you'll see what the author is talking about. You'll be stepping on people's exposed feet and their drunk, plaid short-wearing, Chicago Cubs jersey asses will make some nasty retort and try to start a fight. Male or female.

Seriously, ths isn't open bar on the lido deck of a Carnival cruise. I refuse to wear flip flops in the city. Majority of the douchebags are riding the nasty El trains to the bars, where bums piss and shit on the floor. Then they walk home on sidewalks covered in puke.


connie 7 years ago

It was over 100 yesterday and suppose to get hotter today. YEAH, i'm going to put on socks and shoes in this heatwave!!! Get real douche bag! I agree e/meg, he must be a canadien douche.


Bo Bixbie profile image

Bo Bixbie 7 years ago from Mid-West Author

Connie/Meghan- For one the article only references MEN wearing flip flops not women. Secondly, it's rediculous for men to wear them with evening attire, period. You have obviously missed the point entirely, however thanks for stopping by and commenting.


connie 7 years ago

I wear flip flops everywhere, even in the evening. NOW If i'm going to a fine restaurant or such, then of course I wear something "nice". BUT to a flippin' bar or bar/restaurant? get real dude!!! it's over 100 outside! YEAH, i'm going to wear socks and heavy shoes you moron! Quit going to cheesy ass bars w/no dress code since you're so much better than everyone else, sheesh. So hey canadien douche, what is the weather today? like 77? lol... you are ignorant! Your next post will most likely be hating on people that wear shorts!! YEAH, maybe i wouldn't have to wear shorts if it wasn't so flippin hot outside!!! get out of the house dude and visit other places. GROW up dude, get out of momma's house and travel the country before making a dump post like this. I've seen alot of stupid shit on here but this takes the cake.


ShutUpHooker 7 years ago

Dear ConnieLingus: The reason you and all other douche bag/dick/cunts are Bags 'O Douche is because you follow the heard and do the same as everyone else... you can easily wear nice sandals, some strappy flats, etc.. and on men it even worse: There is nothing sadder than seeing a guy with a nice shirt [button down/polo] some nice slacks and then seeing his naked feet in Flips, its like 'why bother'....

It would be great to go back in time and find out which celeb or retard stared this and put a bullet thru their dome, if it started in LA or the Hamptons: who knows?


connie 7 years ago

why are you looking at guys feet anyway fag? you sound like a true homo! I don't even notice guys feet and i'm a chic! lemme guess, you're canadien douche right? or live up north where it's not nearly as hot. typical ignoramus and homo.


Bo Bixbie profile image

Bo Bixbie 7 years ago from Mid-West Author

connie - It must be difficult to type and suck cock at the same time judging by all your spelling errors. Perhaps you should wait until AFTER work to post your comments. BTW when you are sucking off truckers at the Dennys for a roll of quarters do you get any jizz on your feet since you don't wear shoes? Just curious.


JD 7 years ago

Another thing that makes flip-flops for D-Bags is the price.

Few wear the cheap rubber ones. It's the $40-and-up models from JCrew, Abercombie, and other souless stores that cater to Chad and his bros.

Paying a little more than a full tank of gasoline for a piece of corkboard and a strap of leather makes you a D-Bag.


Daniel Carter profile image

Daniel Carter 7 years ago from Western US

"What's wrong with mocking Humanity. Humanity is so easy to mock it Begs to BE mocked. This thread is point in case."

There's a lot of karma goin' down on this one.


Holly 7 years ago

I am from the Gulf Coast of Florida so I would say flip flops are apart of me. I don't wear them in the winter but they are worn most of the summer. I live in Georgia now and most people here wear them in the warmer months too. Maybe it's mockable where you're located but when it's 98 degrees outside and 100% humidity you get all the air you can where ever you can.


Delaney Boling profile image

Delaney Boling 7 years ago

I think the only thing worse than popped collars and flip flops is white girls who purse their lips and throw up a crooked peace sign in front of their face when they're trying to make a point in an argument.


taz 6 years ago

I think feet are so sexy I love to see people in flip flops and I think everyone should either go barefoot or be in flip flops year round even winter!


BunnyProle 6 years ago

I live in Arkansas where the humidity added to the heat in the summer is unbearable at times. Wearing frickin shoes has never, EVER, made me any less comfortable. Flip-flops are not necessary to "stay cool."

Regardless, it's really less about the shoes themselves than it is about them being an attempt by some people, not all, at looking oh so laid back and beachy. You know, those "Life's a Beach" people. If you want to spend your entire life lying on a towel on top of sand listening to Margaritaville and drinking out of a coconut, that's your boring useless life. Keep it up and you might get a spot on a reality tv show.


Dom 6 years ago

BunnyProle, you just described me almost perfectly. The only exception is that I don't just act laid back, I am. If people like me can aggravate you just by being ourselves, then you probably should be on blood pressure medication.

Oh, and I wear flops all the time. And my toes are hairy. Like 'long enough to braid' hairy. ;)


O man 6 years ago

I too live in the south, with high humidity and temperatures. Guess what, I have never seen the need to wear flip flops to stay cool. That is a lie lazy people tell themselves. Are they convenient? Sure. But people with social graces have learned that you cannot always wear whatever and ignore the impact on others. It would be comfortable for me to go shopping in my boxer shorts, but I don't because I understand that is socially unacceptable.

If you live really near the beach or ocean, then you get a pass. Rocking ff's in the Midwest or inland is just too casual.

If you are a chick, you get away with wearing things that guys can't


SoCal Dude 5 years ago

Did a hillbilly write this? Have you ever got out of your box? Yes people should take care of their hair. But why the hell where shoes?


alex 4 years ago

if you have good feet what is rong with sandals /flip flops as long as you do not where socks i dont

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