Download a Free Virus

Can you get a free computer virus?

Computer software takes many hours of hard work to design, write, debug, and distribute. Resources necessary to accomplish these tasks sometimes come from massive multi-national companies but also from dedicated programmers struggling in their parents' basement. Modern software development tools can be used to create stunningly beautiful screen savers, useful business applications, engaging games, or even free virus programs. Not all software costs money. Yes, it is possible to obtain a computer virus absolutely free, as long as you know where to look.

We are here to help: read this article to learn how to download a free virus. You may have to search the Internet for a few minutes, but you will not be disappointed. Free virus programs provide many hours of challenging computer activity. Many families have been drawn together in ways they could never have imagined. You can always go outside and play, but you may miss out on online activities and exercises that could never be replicated by a simple game of catch or a day at the ol' fishin' hole.

The Truth about Computer Viruses

Folks who write computer virus software want you to have their programs. Don't feel bad about taking advantage of them or using the fruits of their labor without paying. If they send you a program that installs onto your computer, accept it as a free gift. Everyone benefits: the software engineers have made a name for themselves and you have a shiny new program installed on your precious computer.

Add a free virus to your computer
Add a free virus to your computer | Source

Getting Started

Obtaining a free software virus requires a few basic steps. You can't simply turn on your computer and walk away to make some popcorn. Your computer won't find a virus all by itself!

Follow these steps to ensure that your virus acquisition process is as simple as humanly possible. Any variance from these steps may result in a failed virus download. All your effort may be wasted. Your virus may go to someone else, which would be a bad thing.

Step 1 - Log on as an Administrator

Most modern computers require a 'user ID' and a 'password' in order to gain access. Your virus hunt will be much easier if you log on to your system with the highest permissions possible. In computer parlance, we call this "admin permissions" or "root user permissions."

Downloading a computer virus happens much more quickly when the virus can interact with your computer using the same permissions that you have. If you are an 'admin', then your downloaded virus has equivalent power. It will be able to ingratiate itself into every nook and cranny of your operating system. Everything the virus has been programmed to do will be successful. A high level of installation gratification will be achieved by your new software friend.

Warning: if you are logged in as an "ordinary" user or a "regular" user, you may be able to perform everyday mundane activities such as browsing the Internet and using your word processor, but it is extremely unlikely that any virus installation attempts will succeed. Your virus may download, but it will fail miserably. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Step 2 - Install mutiple anti-virus programs

Virus manufacturers prefer that you download and install multiple anti-virus programs before attempting to install any real viruses. Installing only one anti-virus program will only interfere with the real virus as it insinuates itself into your computer.

Look online for scads and oodles of free anti-virus programs. Download and install all of them. These programs will do battle with each other, making your system much more vulnerable to authentic viruses.

Be careful: it is not uncommon for one anti-virus program to mistake another anti-virus program for a real virus. This situation is referred to in the Computer Science world as a "Deadly Embrace." If this should happen, simply uninstall all anti-virus programs from your computer and continue your search for free viruses to download.

Step 3 - download everything

This step is crucial and is often ignored by novice computer users. Anytime you visit a new web site, look for download links on which to click. If the site offers to send you a free program to analyze your system performance or connect you with an unlimited stream of free first-run movies, always click "Yes!"

Warning - some Internet browsers are configured to 'block' any potentially 'harmful' downloads sent from web sites. We suggest that you set the security settings on your favorite browser to "off" in order to allow free virus software to flow freely onto your hard drive. You may miss out on some very effective virus programs if you skip this step.

What kind of free virus should you have?

Many different types of viruses are out there in cyberspace. We in the computer industry work tirelessly to assign names to each virus as it is discovered, but sometimes we fall short of our goals. Don't beat yourself up if you can't find a sample of every named virus: computer technology changes rapidly. You can't hope to stay current and still hold a real job.

We suggest that a small subset of virus types be installed on every home and office computer. Here is a brief description of each:

The Zombie Virus

Probably the most interesting program you can download and install on your computer is a Zombie application. These nifty programs simply hide in the background and cause you no trouble at all. When you go to bed at night, they perk up. A tiny snippet of code establishes a connection with a controlling computer far far away, like China or New Jersey. Your computer then becomes a slave of the controlling computer. Inventive and ambitious folks devised these types of programs in order to sell the use of your hardware and software to third parties who might want to hide files on your computer or use your CPU to launch attacks on secure installations elsewhere in the world. You're not using it anyway, right?

it's all very complicated, but don't worry too much. If the FBI knocks on your door, they will, usually, be very understanding of your situation.

The Keylogger Virus

Another mostly harmless virus that you should have on your computer is a keylogger. Many variations on this theme can be downloaded at absolutely no initial cost to you. A tiny program tucks itself between you and your keyboard: as you type, all your keystrokes are relayed to a log file or even transmitted in real time to a computer on the other side of the Internet.

These types of programs are usually well structured and will cause you no apparent problems. Don't worry about your computer slowing down: your CPU is more than powerful enough to keep up with your activity and the requirements of the virus code.

The Anti-virus Virus

Probably the most colorful and entertaining virus currently available is the anti-virus virus. This nifty program takes over your desktop and works extremely hard to convince you that your system is overrun with other viruses. Most virus authors feel that anti-virus viruses give a bad name to the entire virus industry. A computer becomes virtually unusable when caught in the clutches of such a program.

The end-game for this type of virus is usually a $49.99 charge on your credit card. The program attempts to convince you that your computer can only be rescued by paying a small honorarium to an ostensibly helpful company that holds the antidote. Oddly enough, the same company that sent you the anti-virus virus is the company that happily accepts your payment. This is a great business to be in!

The coolest thing you can do with your computer is to download two or more of these viruses and turn them loose on each other. They may cancel each other out. It's always interesting to observe the interaction between the same types of viruses: will one dominate the other, or will they co-operate in order to control all your data and pictures and files and programs? The fun never ends.

Conclusion

Your computer will never be the same when you download free computer viruses. Don't miss out on the virus craze!

Every computer needs a few good virus programs.
Every computer needs a few good virus programs. | Source

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Comments 9 comments

KwameG profile image

KwameG 5 years ago from MS

Nice tongue-in-cheek, oddly enough my Free AV, warned me of a threat on this page...


nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@KwameG : obviously, your AV program is a party-pooper. :)


psychicdog.net profile image

psychicdog.net 5 years ago

Anti-virus virus programs - they've done great things for confidence on the net. NOT!


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

Thank you, nicomp, for this unbelievably helpful information. I am rushing to set the security settings on my browser to "off" in order to allow FREE virus software to flow freely and immediately on to my hard drive.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@drbj : I can't stand to see virus writers out of work in this economy.


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana

This is awesome. I've been wanting a virus for-EVER. And to think I didn't have to save my adsense pennies after all...I can have it..for FREEEE!

Is it my birthday??? It sure feels like it is!

Thanks, Nicomp! You're the best!

PS. I LOVE your cartoon. Those are some fine looking stick people. Who's the good comic? You are, yes you are!


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn.

Oh, happy days! A free virus protection. You are so sweet to share this information. Rated up.


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX

You get what you pay for is the ticket. LOL.

Though it takes up a lot of space, I use Norton 360 Premier which is worth the money.

Good article and up and useful.

The Frog


nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@The Frog Prince : You know what? I also use Norton and I put it on my customer's computers as well. Their automatic renewal system is annoying, but their product works. I've disputed many of their renewal charges on my credit card because they refuse to stop charging me every year. Other than that, it's all good.

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