Essential Gear: Equipment You'll Need For The Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse!

Don't be their next meal!
Don't be their next meal!
He looks hungry...
He looks hungry...

You Know The Zombie Apocalypse Is Coming - Make Sure You're Ready!


We all know it's coming.

The Zombie Apocalypse will occur eventually, and if popular media really is a predictor of coming trends, then it's going to happen soon!

We've all seen the movies, but since when can you learn real life lessons from a movie???

Instead of relying on that bogus information, I've compiled a list of the absolute Essential Items every household should have on hand Before The Dead Rise!


Ka-Bar 2-1249-9 Kukri
Ka-Bar 2-1249-9 Kukri

Slice through the undead hordes with ease !

 

Ka-Bar Black Kukri Machete

You've seen all the movies, so you think a gun is the best weapon for fighting real zombies? Wrong! A gun needs bullets, and in a world filled with the walking dead there's no time to reload a weapon. The Ka-Bar Black Kukri Machete never needs a reload, just a strong arm and proximity to the neck of a ghoul!

At just over 1 pound in weight and 17 inches in length, even a weakling can behead a zombie with a single swipe! Includes sturdy sheath!


CELOX First Aid Temporary Traumatic Wound Treatment 2g, 10-Pack
CELOX First Aid Temporary Traumatic Wound Treatment 2g, 10-Pack

You're gonna turn anyway, at least be comfortable before you bleed out !

 

Temporary Traumatic Wound Treatment

It's bound to happen at some point - someone in your group is going to be bitten. If you don't have the guts to kill them immediately, then at least try to make them comfortable by stemming the blood flow with a Celox First Aid Temporary Traumatic Wound Treatment - 2g 10-Pack! Just open the puch, pour the CELOX onto the wound and press down with gauze - the wound clots within minutes!

Great for spurting arterial bleeds!


Katadyn Pocket Water Microfilter
Katadyn Pocket Water Microfilter

If the flesh eaters don't get you, contaminated water will! Be safe and filter that water.

 

Pocket Water Filter

No matter how secure you think your location is, eventually you're probably gonna have to go on the run and find a new safe haven from the undead. Nothing is more important while you're running than fresh clean water, and after The End begins, essential services won't last for long. That's why you need the Katadyn Pocket Water Microfilter! This compact beauty filters a quart of water a minute and has a lifetime capacity of 13,000 gallons!

And since it's silver-impregnated ceramic element is effective against bacteria, you don't risk becoming infected with zombie-ism from your drinking water (that's assuming it's spread by bacteria, and not a virus - but if it's viral we're all doomed anyway!)

B000LQL3JU

Kaito KA404 Emergency Hand Crank Dynamo 5-LED Flashlight with AM/FM radio
Kaito KA404 Emergency Hand Crank Dynamo 5-LED Flashlight with AM/FM radio

The world could be saved and you'd never know it without a wind-up radio!

 

Hand Crank Flashlight with AM/FM radio

Whether you're hunkered down at your safe-house or on the run, you're going to need a flashlight! And before you head into that ruined city, you need to check the radio to see if it's safe! That's why you need the Kaito KA404 Emergency Hand Crank Dynamo 5-LED Flashlight with AM/FM radio! It's powered by a hand crank, so no batteries to fail at that crucial moment!

The radio also comes with an extend-able antenna for access in remote locales!


Datrex Emergency Survival 2400 Calorie Food Ration Bar (Pack of 30), 360 Bars
Datrex Emergency Survival 2400 Calorie Food Ration Bar (Pack of 30), 360 Bars

The real zombies won't starve to death, but you could! Eat up!

 

Emergency Food Bars

After the electricity fails and the food spoils, you're gonna need something to eat - and unlike the walking dead who stalk you, food won't be easy to come by. So stock up on Datrex 2400 Emergency Food Bar - Case of 30! Each packet will sustain an adult for 3 days, and they're approved by the U.S. Coast Guard!

Tastes like coconut!


Rothco FM 21-76 Survival Manual
Rothco FM 21-76 Survival Manual

If the Army can't teach you how to survive, you might as well just get yourself bit and join the undead masses!

 

Survival Manual

Prepare yourself before it's too late! Get yourself the Official Military Survival Manual FM-21-76 and start reading it today! You'll learn how to travel, find water and food, and take how to take care of yourself if you get injured!

Official 1970 Military Issued Manual!

Texsport Heavy Duty Survival Shovel with Saw
Texsport Heavy Duty Survival Shovel with Saw

Don't let those bodies pile up - dig some graves with this handy shovel!

 

Folding Survival Shovel

At some point in your quest to survive the living dead, someone's gonna need burying, so keep the Texsport Folding Survival w/Saw Shovel close at hand! This useful little guy folds to just over 12 inches, and the handle unscrews to assemble a 5 1/2 inch saw blade.

We all know it's best to bury those bodies with the head detached, so that saw's going to come in handy!


Childrens Survival Kit

Is the whole family trapped in the house when it's time to make a run for safety from the attacking hordes of walking corpses? Let the kids feel like a part of the adventure with the Childrens Survival Kit! This kit is designed for kids 11 and under - I guess because kids 12 and older are able to take care of themselves!

The kit includes fun stuff like food bars, a squeeze flashlight and even glow-sticks!


Handheld GPS Navigator

When you're on the run, there's nothing worse than getting lost! If you know there's safety to be had at that farmhouse across the woods, find your way with the Garmin GPS 60CSx Handheld GPS Navigator before the zombies find you! This incredibly accurate GPS device can track your path even under heavy tree cover and deep inside canyons!

Warning: This great device has built in games games, but don't let them distract you from escaping those dead bastards who are out to get you!


Crossbow & Bolts

When you need to make a hole in the head of a cannibalistic animated corpse from a distance, use the Horton®  175 - lb. Crossbow!
Unlike the bullets from a gun, the 5-Pk. Aluminum Bolts for 150-lb. Crossbow can be reused! Just wipe off the gore and load them back into your quiver. With this crossbow and the included scope, even an amateur can place a shot right between the eyes with ease!

According to one Amazon reviewer, "Bolt passed through critters like hot knife through butter."

Can't beat that!


ATN Night Shadow-HPT Gen HPT, 5x Night Vision Bi-ocular
ATN Night Shadow-HPT Gen HPT, 5x Night Vision Bi-ocular

Don't let the undead sneak up on you in the night - that's when they're hungriest!

 

Night Vision Bi-ocular

We all know that the undead will not hesitate to sneak up on you in the dark, especially if you aren't paying attention! Don't let them get the slip on you - keep watch all night long with the ATN Night Shadow-HPT 2nd Generation, 5x Night Vision Bi-ocular! This 5x bi-ocular is weather and fog resistant and its all digital controls will help you keep an eye out for approaching flesh eaters.

The built in proximity detector even turns it on automatically when you raise it to viewing position!


Good Luck!

Naturally, this isn't everything you'll need to survive the coming zombie apocalypse, but I'm sure you'll agree, it's a good start!

Good luck and keep vigilant!

The life you save could be your own!


The Original Zombie Apocalpyse Movie!

They're coming to get you...
They're coming to get you...

Copyright © 2010. All Rights Reserved.

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Comments 18 comments

carolina muscle profile image

carolina muscle 6 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

Jeez.. I thought it already happened. LOL Oh well, terrific hub!!


Edweirdo profile image

Edweirdo 6 years ago from United States Author

Thanks Carolina Muscle - make sure you're prepared!


carolina muscle profile image

carolina muscle 6 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

Well, if they're after my brain, they'll be sadly disappointed! LOL


bonny2010 profile image

bonny2010 6 years ago from outback queensland

Damn that's it - Iam a goner - with all this hi-tech anti-zombie stuff you're recommending - how's a retired zombie expected to LIVE!!!


Edweirdo profile image

Edweirdo 6 years ago from United States Author

@bonny2010 - I see from your profile that you're from the Outback in Queensland - maybe you'll get lucky and they just won't find you ;D

P.S. - I traveled all over Oz a few years ago, and QL was the one place I never got to see :(


obsexed profile image

obsexed 6 years ago from Sensual, USA

LOL, what a great, and practical hub. You have done the research, now I just need to start stocking up.


LewisSummer profile image

LewisSummer 6 years ago

Nice hub. It's interesting to note that a lot of the supplies for a zombie apocalypse are similar to a vampire or even wolfman apocalypse - minus the silver. Love the tongue in cheek style. Keep it up!

http://hubpages.com/education/survivetheapocalypse


hubranger profile image

hubranger 6 years ago from Yorkshire, UK

That's just great! Really very funny, I might get some of those night binoculars :)


Edweirdo profile image

Edweirdo 6 years ago from United States Author

Thanks hubranger - you can never be over-prepared for the living dead!


betherann profile image

betherann 6 years ago from Montana

I am officially amused. Nice job!


Tara Tufford profile image

Tara Tufford 6 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

For those of us that enjoy the zombie culture this is a great hub:) If you want to check out something cool, go to youtube.com and look up "undead love song". Click on the one that says 'undead love song, zombie music video, elstampo'-curtisy of my most talented boyfriend:) Its worth watching!


Glimmer515 profile image

Glimmer515 6 years ago from Never Never Land

Great hub!! Once the Apocalypse comes i will def be ready for them! or at least ready to go into hiding from them,haha :P


Jim Bryan profile image

Jim Bryan 6 years ago from Austin, TX

Like it, love it, want more of it!

Voted up and Funny.

Couple of things:

1. When your supplies are limited to what you can carry, redundancy is not your friend, while multi-purpose tools are. I'd ditch the machete and the shovel and go for a military grade entrenching tool. They can be used as an axe, machete, shovel, saw, hoe, etc. The Spetsnaz issue Soviet-era versions were also designed for throwing!

2. For the same reasons, I'd add a Leatherman (tm) style multi-tool or a Swiss Army Knife to the list.

3. GPS will eventually fail, though it will certainly be helpful initially. A really good Atlas will be your best bet after that.

4. Finally, I'd ditch the crossbow for a good shotgun (12ga pump or semi-auto) and pistols (a .45 ACP and a 9mm). If you live outside the US, I'd pick calibers that are popular among sportsmen, military, and police. Ammo for these weapons is a lot more common than crossbow bolts ever will be. Ever tried to reload a crossbow? Takes too long and they're only single shots. Imagine trying to reload one with a horde of zombies coming at you from all sides. I'm a military veteran trained to deal with that kind of pressure and relying on a crossbow seems like something that would get me killed. I think I'd drop more bolts than I would fire.

Regardless, awesome ideas, and most of my points are a matter a personal preference, I suppose.


MrMidNight 6 years ago

Excellent zombie emergency kit hub, well written and well done.....


omcj1234 profile image

omcj1234 6 years ago

Hmmm...do I really want to double-tap with a machete?


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA

This is hilarious... it is supposed to be hilarious, right?

or... do you know something I don't know?

AUUGGGHHHHHH!!!


Edweirdo profile image

Edweirdo 6 years ago from United States Author

@nicomp - It's all fun and games until someone gets their brains eaten by a zombie...


gohard 5 years ago

I think the point of the crossbow over a gun is because it is so quite and you can pick up your ammo so you most likely wont run out but i would still carry a pistol

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Zombies in a bar photo courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/adactio/ / CC BY 2.0

Zombie man photo courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/dhollister/ / CC BY 2.0

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