Even More Funny Quotes

kitty needs therapy
kitty needs therapy

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

Bill Cosby

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

Robin Williams


The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back!

Will Rogers


If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much -- just an occasional sun visor.

Groucho Marx


 The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly.

Abraham Lincoln


A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

Bill Cosby

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Groucho Marx


Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Groucho Marx


Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

Robin Williams



Humor is just another defense against the universe. 
Mel Brooks


There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. 
 Will Rogers


See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

Robin Williams


It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.

Oscar Wilde



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Comments 4 comments

Gemsong profile image

Gemsong 7 years ago from Richmond, Virginia

I love those. True... so true. Each and every one of them.


Envoy profile image

Envoy 7 years ago from USA Author

lol thanks Gemsong I agree :)

Hope you're having a great weekend!


jeri741 profile image

jeri741 6 years ago from Lancaster, Ky

I love funny quotes


Envoy profile image

Envoy 6 years ago from USA Author

Me to nothin better than a great laugh.

Have an awesome day!

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