FUN THAT HEAL: FEEL GOOD SESSION No 1 with MIDNIGHT EARL
Self-Psychotherapy: Feel Good Session No 1 with Midnight Earl
:: FUNNY QUOTES: HEALING WITH LAUGHTER ::
By my "Coach Dr" Earl Wilson: Quotes that Heal with Laughter:
A laughter-a-day keeps the Doctor away (o:)
• Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.
• An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.
• Modern man drives a mortgaged car over a bond-financed highway on credit-card gas.
• Nowadays people can be divided into three classes -- the haves the have-nots and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves.
• Money in the bank is like toothpaste in the tube. Easy to take out, hard to put back.
• Somebody figured it out -- we have 35 million laws trying to enforce Ten Commandments.
• A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.
• A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.
• A woman may race to get a man a gift but it always ends in a tie.
• Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.
• An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen.
• Benjamin Franklin may have discovered electricity, but it was the man who invented the meter who made the money.
• Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.
• Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty.
• Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
• For the parents of a Little Leaguer, a baseball game is simply anervous breakdown into innings.
• He was so honest you could play craps with him over the phone.
• He's an honest man - you could shoot craps with him over the telephone.
• Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till therest of the family brings the car back.
• If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
• If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.
• Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?
• Middle Age - later than you think and sooner than you expect.
• Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in the air.
• Nothing is as embarrassing as watching your boss do something you assured him couldn't be done.
• One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over mole hills.
• Poise: the ability to be ill at ease inconspicuously.
• Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.
• Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
• Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
• The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.
• The man who didn't want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise.
• This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.
• To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.
• Today's accent may be on youth, but the stress is still on the parents.
• You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.
:: VERY F-U-N-N-Y !!!