Facebook Stole My Girlfriend
25 Things To Hate About Facebook
Facebook = Dead Meat
I'm typically not one to get jealous, however, Facebook has stolen my girlfriend. Who is this Facebook and what right does he have to take her away? Our relationship now consists of a series of "pokes".
Even if I can pry my girlfriend away from Facebook for a romantic walk or dinner, there's Facebook again - calling her on her mobile phone. Facebook appears to be everywhere now. He always seems to be with my girlfriend.
I think she's afraid to linger too far away from Facebook. I think Facebook has quietly been working to replace me. The other day Facebook asked my girlfriend if she was losing weight. Facebook even complimented her on her new hairstyle.
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Facebook has even managed to keep my girlfriend out of my bed most nights. I'm not sure what he is up to with her all night, but I now sleep alone. Sure, every now and then my girlfriend tries to sneak into bed about a half hour before I typically get up, but I know the real story - that she was with Facebook.
The thing is this Facebook guy seems too chicken to ever show up in person. He's either on the computer or on the phone. I think I catch glimpses of him every now and then, but I can't be sure. I'm out of town quite a bit. Maybe that's when he actually visits my girlfriend.
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I hope when I meet Facebook that he's hungry. I'm quite sure a two-for-one special on knuckle sandwiches is on the menu. I heard he's pretty nerdy and scrawny anyway. I'm fairly buff and I used to think that my buffness was what my girlfriend like about me. I guess not.....Facebook must have so much charm that it overrides buffness (I am a P90X graduate). Maybe it's the incessant compliments he gives her or the constant attention?
Anyway, Facebook, if you're listening, I want my girlfriend back. I've thought about finding another girlfriend, but most of the girls I talk to seem to already have a relationship with you. I don't know how you do it.
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