Funny Country and Western songs

This is a funny list of some country and western songs. No famous songs here though. Enjoy

My Rash

I met her in a treehouse stoned on oatmeal;
I can still recall those training pants she wore;
She was crashin' through the guardrail with her cobra,
and I knew no guy would ever love her more;
She asked me if I'd have my rash forever;
She said to me that Rolaids made her high;
But who'd have thought she'd grovel with her guru;
She fell beneath the wheels and cried goodbye.

Kiss of a hitman

I met her at a truck stop sort of pregnant;
I can still recall those training pants she wore;
She was sobbin' at the toll booth with Led-Zeppelin,
and I knew they'd hate her guts in Baltimore;
The judge declared I'd stay a dwarf forever;
She said to me that birthdays made her cry;
But who'd have thought she'd sky dive at her health club;
She sent a hired thug to say goodbye.

Gay Guys always cry

I met her in a gay bar in September;
I can still recall that burlap bra she wore;
She was weighted down with Twinkies with her cobra,
and I knew that I would upchuck on the floor;
The blood test showed I'd have my rash forever;
She said to me that Rolaids made her high;
But who'd have thought she'd boogie while in labor;
I never had the chance to say goodbye.

Dirty Woman

I met her in a jail cell wrestlin' gators;
I can still recall the Stassin pin she wore;
She was crawlin' through the prairie but I loved her,
and I knew that she would be a crashing bore;
The judge declared I'd pick my nose forever;
She said to me our love would never die;
But who'd have thought she'd grovel at her health club;
I guess I was too smashed to say goodbye.

All my moneys gone

I met her in a palace with a jogger;
I can still recall the boxer shorts she wore;
She was slurpin' up linguini but I loved her,
and I knew that I would upchuck on the floor;
The blood test showed I'd pick my nose forever;
She said to me that Rolaids made her high;
But who'd have thought she'd black out with my best friend;
I now can kiss my credit cards goodbye.

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Comments 2 comments

Michael Shane profile image

Michael Shane 6 years ago from Gadsden, Alabama

LOL! Good hub!


Miley_Soot profile image

Miley_Soot 6 years ago from England

Interesting + poetic,

Nice!

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