Similes To Make You Laugh!

Don't you just love funny similes and metaphors? A simile is a figure of speech that compares two things by using connecting words such as like, as or than. Similes are similar to metaphors in that they are both forms of comparison, but similes compare the two ideas whilst they remain separate, whereas a metaphor compare two things directly.

For example:

Simile: Simon was an Olympic sprinter and when he ran he was as fast as a rocket.

Metaphor: When Simon sprinted, he was a rocket around the circuit.

Similes can be implicit (e.g. "like a cat on a hot tin roof" - the reader can is left to imagine what this will be like), or explicit (e.g. "as dry as dust"), however, a simile can be anywhere along the scale.

Similes are used extensively in British comedy and have been for a long time. In comedy, the simile is often used in negative context, e.g. he was as daft as a brush, she was as big as a bus. They are also used in comedic context where a sensitive subject is broached, and the comedian will test his audience with response to a subtle implicit simile before going deeper.

For more information about what is a simile, and a long list of funny similes, visit

Comments 35 comments

MJ 5 years ago

As useful as tits on a fish

She had a face like a bagfull of spanners

She looked like a bulldog chewing a wasp

ibrahim lisa 5 years ago


elizabeth101 4 years ago

i remember learning this is 4th grade!

kyle m 4 years ago

As crooked as a roach leg.

Slower than the second coming of christ.

Cole 4 years ago

Useless as a solar powered flashlight

kk 4 years ago

as funny as a barrel of monkeys

bear 4 years ago

lol i love these! ill share them with friends thx!

boo! 3 years ago

As full as Santa's sack at Christms time

As busy as traffic at the beach in Summer

Happier than a pig in shit

as gloomy as a pig without mud

as frightening as a fly in a web

as stupid as white is called a color

Dom 3 years ago

A face like a sack full of funnelwebs...... really... google them then picture it.

Nicole S profile image

Nicole S 3 years ago from Minnesota

Yowza, this must have taken you a while! Funny hub!

secretadmire 3 years ago

dude's! You are awesome!

hhhhhhhhh 3 years ago


Bb 3 years ago

Thnx that helped me with my homework :)

harleen 3 years ago

thanks for doing my home work

kat 3 years ago


Mike Honcho 2 years ago

Busier than a cat trying to cover shit on a hot tin roof.

:D 2 years ago

homework.DONE! xD

tianna 2 years ago

Thanks for helping me with my classwork

John 2 years ago

Thx you help me with my school work

zahzee 2 years ago

Tx for a list as useful as a roadmap. After 18 [+ last 5], you alphabetized 'em which is as bright as neon. When you update your list: "102.As modest as a maiden" is not only sexist & anachronistic but what does it mean? No group is particularly "modest"...esp women who have their own paychecks now w/no need to be modest about anything. Pls don't perpetuate stereotypes or showcase instructions for how women should behave. "Pin/needle" items are soo last century--no1 sews anymore; tailors repair or sew hems but ripped clothes are usu old & tossed out. Bible references are grating since Job, Solomon, Lot & Noah's wives didn't have names [sexism galore in its fairy tales]; it orders us to stone adulterers [only the female of the pair] & hates gays. 1/3+ of Millennials are atheists. "114. As pleased as Punch" [Punch&Judy puppet shows are 350yrs old; most Millennials, Gen X & Boomers have never seen nor even heard of 'em; the puppets look like stick figures & are ugly & function-less & Mr. Punch is a wife-beating, baby-squashing scofflaw--not "pleased" but a felon. Who has ever seen a "mouse in church"? & why are they "poor"? Many similes are nonsensical & belong to an earlier time; need deleted. Those who believe words mean sometg are oblivious to lotsa these. I lassoed 10 that are aces, peachy & wicked; thanx heaps.

2 years ago

"Her face lit up like a light bulb" - as quoted by some guy in my English class

natalie 2 years ago

The best as

saldriass profile image

saldriass 2 years ago from morocco

lol this is so cool man .

i am still loking for some informations about hornets like this one

any ideas

sw1970 profile image

sw1970 2 years ago from UK Author

I'm not one for commenting on my own posts but this comment above from zahzee is hilarious. How do these people have so much time to write so much nonsense! Anyway, to answer the points made, visit the rest of the world.

allie 23 months ago

lol hi y

Val 23 months ago

similes are a way of speaking and of course now and then they'll be used without knowing their meaning but that doesn't makes similes bad and similes are meant to get old does this person have any idea of how long they've been around? Dear zahzee get yourself a life and stop criticising art

jamie hunter 21 months ago

this is crazier than a retarded kid on an x jamie lamante hunter ®

josh 21 months ago


xMULKSTERx 21 months ago

gotta be on your toes like a midget at a urinal

drunk as a skunk

drinks like a fish

mad as a cut snake

BananaramA 15 months ago

As dumb as a bag of rocks

Ina 13 months ago

Not funny at all boring!

ali 11 months ago


bob 9 months ago


Louis Bryan 6 months ago

How 'bout this smile?: Busier than a one-eyed cat at a mice convention.

Jake 4 months ago

What up

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